brain: here's a good memory with someone who ended up really hurting you

me: why did you bring me this

brain: just because

anxiety: everything ur doing is wrong and everyone who sees you instantly dislikes you

me, a reasonable human being: thats ridiculous and doesnt make any sense and i know this is my anxiety talking

me: and yet

me waking up: i can't wait to go to sleep tonight

Doris: Liegst du schon den ganzen Tag im Bett?

Lena : Nein ich war schon am Kühlschrank

brain: instead of going to bed now, lets stay up another 5 hours doing nothing productive.

me: why

brain: you gotta

Me in 5th grade: I will never smoke or drink or do any drugs ever

Me now: I probably wouldn't do meth

Weißt du, wenn du Depressionen hast, dann braucht es keinen Grund das alles scheiße ist.

Dear Drug Dealer.

Thank you for risking your ass so I can get high

someone: how are you!!!!

me: dead inside but what's new

Spongebob: What are you doing when I'm gone?

Patrick: waiting for you to come back.

Ich: Das ist als würde ich einen komplett anderen Menschen treffen

Ich: Einen, mit dem ich nichts anzufangen weiß.

The world is a terrible place and I don't want to be part of it anymore

Depression: Du bist hässlich.

Depression: Niemand wird dich je lieben können.

Depression: Du darfst nicht essen, du bist fett.

Depression: Du bist an allem Schuld.

Depression: Niemand erträgt es bei dir weil du so schrecklich bist.

Depression: Bohr dir die Klinge in den Arm, du verdienst es.

Depression: Geh sterben.

Ich: Okay.

me: hey sorry i cant make it tomorrow!

person: aw whats wrong?

me: i don't wanna come

someone: do you watch this t.v. show?

me: no, but i've seen gifs

Person: how are you?

Me: im ok

Person: why just ok?

Message appears: you are not an experienced enough friend to unlock this response yet. try again after reaching friendship level 10.

people: why aren't you doing the thing

me: because the thing makes me anxious and i physically cannot do it

people: lol excuses

A: Du solltest schlafen.

B: Ja mit dir.

what i say: i'm bored

what i mean: none of my usual hobbies are stimulating enough for me anymore because i am dead inside and i am desperately craving human interaction in a vain attempt to keep myself from slipping into the abyss of insanity

Anxiety: "Why are you talking?"

Anxiety: "No one wants to hear what you have to say."

Anxiety: "You're making things weird, shut up!"

Me: "But I'm in the middle of a sentence......."

Anxiety: "Just stop talking. No one will notice."

Me: -Stops talking-

Everyone: -Doesn't notice-

Anxiety: "See?"

Me: "Okay."

Anxiety: "Nothing you say matters."

Me: "Okay."