i feel like there's a huge flaw, or hole, in my individuality. i feel stuck in my own skin and i am incredibly bored with my being. i want to write, but i'm not a writer. i want to draw, but i can't draw. i want to photograph, but i'm not a photographer. i want to make music, but i don't have the patience. i lack talent and i feel like there's no use in trying because no one is going to care. i can feel so motivated and inspired at times but then i remember that i don't have any real talent so why should i do something that i'm not good at? who am i trying to fool? i want to dye my hair, i want to cut it short, i want to buy new clothes but i dont dont do it, for whatever reason. i am too plain and i am too basic and my days all look the same. i have so many ideas and i have such a creative mind but i am not passionate enough. i wish i was passionate. i wish i would do things for myself and i wish that could be enough. i wish it wouldnt feel so pointless. there are so many things i would love to do, but a voice is telling me that nothing matters and my ideas dont matter and no one cares; so why should i care?