bob-belcherSomeone: You're so dramatic!
Me, with a rose between my lips, throwing glitter around, dressed in evening wear during the day, draping myself across a piano: I have no idea what you're talking about
bob-belcher
thebootydiariesme @ my son: wolfgang, you were named not after one wolf but a whole gang of wolves,
thebootydiariesme: why'd u give me an F??
teacher: you haven't turned anything in all semester.
me: but i reblogged the lucky pencil?
*it starts raining*
me: yes
*lighting appears*
me: yES
*thunders explode*
me: YES
*raining intensifies*
me: YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS
Me: WHO THE FUCK TOOK MY oh there it is
girls: exist
me: god..... i have to lie dow....n .. . thank u for blessing this earth,, , with such beauty
kid: dad whats a 69
dad: well son, a 69 is when two people who love each other very much get together with a 6 and a 9 and a 5 6 7 8 [spotlight turns on] [dad breaks into jazz number]
your obedient servant
Aaron Burr: I think you owe me an apology.
Alexander Hamilton: I'll apologize to you in hell!
Aaron Burr: ...
Alexander Hamilton: I actually don't know what this is about. Sorry I took such a hard stance.
me: wow i think i'm recovering well tbh i haven't had a breakdown in 2 months
mental illnesses: *jaws theme*
me: *gets a bad idea*
me: great idea
Signs obsessed with zodiac facts: Aries, Taurus, Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio, Saggitarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces
Signs that write zodiac facts: Aries, Virgo
I don't give a shit but imma still check: Gemini, Leo, Libra
boy: I really hate it when girls--
me: I have literally never cared less about the ending of a sentence in my entire life.
me: *is frustrated*
me @ me: dont u fuckin do it
me: *starts tearing up*
me @ me: OHHHHHHHHH MY GOD
Me: *changes the toilet paper roll*
Me: I am the backbone of this household
me: I wish I had someone to watch the moon with
me @ myself: man what kind of gay ass shit...
me: *wakes up*
me: Oh man I can't wait to go to bed that is gonna be awesome
me: *writes adult email*
me: *hits send while screaming loudly*
Pepa: That lady is dangerous.
Mambo Taxi driver: No lady is dangerous if you know how to handle her.
Me: why do I feel so sad right now
My brain: you're a human being with emotions and a lot of stuff going on in your life, on top of that you have a known history with depression which means sometimes you have moods that don't necessarily reflect your situation, and you've just got to be patient through the times when your contentment lies fallow
Me: no that doesn't sound right
My brain: oh shit then maybe we should buy like ten dollars worth of candy
Me: that seems right, that feels right, I'm glad we had this talk
me: [skateboards up to you]
me: hi. i can't actually skateboard in real life, but on an internet post, the only limitation is my imagination
me: [keeps skateboarding away, my body starting to transform into a hot pink fighter jet]