ambercipher.tumblr.com

i'm nothing without this suit

ankle-beez

Disney: alright. Let’s put out our new first lgbt character wth half a minute of screentime. Everyone’s gonna freak out ad they’re gonna be so pleased. This is all we can do

Sony Animation: our main character has a pride button on her at all times

Disney: WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN DO THAT???

ankle-beez

when will Disney ever

ankle-beez

A lot of people in the notes are saying this is the same as the performative shit Disney’s doing and I’m like….. not really tho? I feel like constantly seeing a character with a pride pin throughout a 90 minute movie is more meaningful than a fucking gay cop that’s in one easily removable scene or an easy-to-miss gay kiss that lasts two seconds and gets censored easily in other countries. Katie has a pride pin and it’s not made a big deal out of it. It just exists in her person. Also you can’t go frame by frame inan animated movie and erase a pin, that’s shit hard

twinklecupcake

Speaking as a gay woman, I will always consider a character wearing/owning a rainbow or flag-color item to be better representation than someone who only appears for five seconds saying “girlfriend” or standing close to someone of the same gender.

space-finally

Also, the MAIN, CENTRAL CHARACTER of a movie!? Hello? Not a single vague throwaway line or a 2 second blink-and-miss it background character. The main character! HUGE difference.

peter p: but mr america sir, aren’t you technically only 33? are you sure you qualify for this?

steve, taking a senior citizen parking spot and claiming his 15th senior discount of the day: shut your mouth you’re like 5

underoosstark

broke - the team mocking steve for being ‘old’

woke - steve trying to get into a zoo for free because “fuck it i was born in 1918 I deserve the fucking seniors discount”

writemeasandwich

I mean yes sure he could just take the military discount and save just as much but it’s the principle of the thing dammit.

thwndryrs

pool employee: sir, Mr. Captain America, this is a seniors water aerobics class.

steve: I was born in 1918 am I not a senior citizen?

exaspertated pool employee: yes, but why d-

steve: some of my friends are in this class just let me take it with them!

bucky, yelling, already in the pool: just let him in susan! you let me in!

cartwheelandfaceplant

Susan (whispering): he’s old? I let him in because I thought he was homeless and sad.

Just trust me on this

107652 notes

thebootydiaries

*black people with guns*

white people: criminal thugs!!!!!!

*arab people with guns*

white people: terrorists!!!!!!!

*white people with guns*

white people: well you know, that’s our second amendment right. so…

teachers calling roll 15 years from now: john, samantha, julio (deep sigh)... sasuke

Batman: I have 800 costumes because I must be prepared for any eventuality

Wonder Woman: I have 1200 costumes because I’m 6,000 years old, I like a little variety, it’s important to dress for diplomacy, and Hephaestus doesn’t get much commission from anywhere else these days

Superman: I have one costume because my moms made it. No I will not get a new one and fuck you for suggesting it

galahadwilder

I originally meant “Lara sent the fabric and Martha made the costume” but now I can’t stop thinking of a Superman AU where Jor sent his wife along with his son and Martha and Jonathan happened upon this Space MILF™️ and went “throuple?” so Clark Kent grew up with three parents

graaaaceeliz

Have you seen the post about Bruce thinking Butler was the third parent? Because Bruce and Clark being pitying together is a brilliant image.

Diana: my mother-

Clark: singular?

Diana: I - yes.

Bruce, pitying: I bet you don't have a butler either.

Diana, confused:.... No?

Clark and Bruce: oh you poor thing.

galahadwilder

Excuse you Diana Prince has 800 moms she was the only child on the entire island of Themyscira you honestly think they didn’t all take a hand in raising her

graaaaceeliz

That's an extremely valid point and I cant believe I forgot that.

Revised version:

Diana: My mother-

Clark: singular?

Diana, louder: My mother number two hundred and twelve-

Spidey-Petey

Superheroes Are Dorks

25265 notes

A List of Instances that have occurred while I was writing

Me, at the grocery store: wow this watermelon is the same weigh as a severed human head!

My dad, two feet away: what

Me: what

My brother walking in to the room: …what are you doing

Me, crying: T-posing to assert dominance over the characters in my own story

My brother: wow, what page are you on?

Me, a writer: 32

My brother: wow you write really fast

Me, a writer, who has not managed to write a single sentence in a full week: Right.

My dad: hey we’re gonna watch a movie as a family in a few hours. You want to join us?

Me: i was planning on writing a bit today.

My dad: well then, maybe when you’re done?

Me, sweating: i dont think you know how this works.

Me: what if i wrote this quick one shot and finished something for once in my life

Also me: what if i turned this quick one shot into a multichaptered fic with lots of angst and pinning and never finished it ever

Brother: hey are you okay? You look upset

Me: im fine!!

Dad: are you alright? You look sad–

Me: im cool!

Boyfriend: hey are you doing okay?

Me: yeah. Im good i promise.

Sister: are you doing alri–

Me: I SWEAR IM FINE. IM MAKING THESE FACES BECAUSE IM PLOTTING A STORY IN MY HEAD AND ITS SUPER DRAMATIC. IM ACTUALLY QUITE CONTENT RIGHT NOW. PLEASE GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

Me: alright i have a debate tomorrow to prepare for, a midterm the day after that for a class im barely passing, homework due, a lab report that needs to be done, another lab to get ready for, and i need to get at least eight hours of sleep this week and eat sometime before next Thursday.

Also me: and thEN THEY WERE ROOMMATES AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED

Me: alright! Time to do my homework!

Me, six hours later with two pages of an au written and no homework done: how the fuck did i get here again

https://youtu.be/a_LZ-BWhH_Q

Me: *writes a scene where any character has their jaw gently turned up so they can look in anothers eyes*

Me: is it just me or is this super intimate???

Me: ….

Me: *googles “how to tell if you’re touched starved”*

wow-very-emo-such-bands

What people think why i became a bookbinder: Oh she wants to explore her artistic horizon with those pretty leather bound books of hers. She even gives them out as gifts to her friends. It most likely helps her with anxiety or maybe she just wanted a more special costume made notebook.

Why I actually became a bookbinder: I just illegally downloaded and printed out several of my favourite fanfics and books and started binding them into books cuz I love reading them but looking at screens for too long gives me headaches.

ghost-maybe

op youre fucking big brained oh my god

wow-very-emo-such-bands

If you want to i can send you a link to some of the Tutorial videos i started binding my fanfic books.

cyanidevamp

PLEASE SEND ME THE LINK I WANT TO DO THIS SO BAD

alexstyx

PLEASE SEND LINKS OP PLEASE I BEG YOU

wow-very-emo-such-bands

@laughuntilourribsgettough @starduststyx upon request: A tutorial playlist for my personal favourite bookbinding methods

Longstitch binding

2)Japanese Binding

https://youtu.be/j-r6c_trSxY

3) Belgian Binding

https://youtu.be/w-oct9Ttp1g

4) Coptic stitch binding

https://youtu.be/TdHo8NtDOXc

5) Case Bookbinding

https://youtu.be/Av_rU-yOPd4

saxifraga-x-urbium

op I appreciate these links so much but like you don't 'illegally' download fanfic, the links are on ao3 SO that people can dl it

kurapikasweeddealer-deactivated

and also pirating from smaller creators is kind of a shitty thing to do. try sticking to the big corporations

Spidey-Petey

Everything Emo And Gay!

117263 notes

Don’t let the serial killers get you down

Me: Has several fanfiction WIP’s

Me: Has 2 novel WIP’s

Me: Has a hundred different fics I need to finish reading

Me: Needs to sleep

Me: Has to be up early

Brain: Let’s give her another WIP idea

Me: Oh my GoD, that’s brilliant!

Me: Is up until 5am writing a new fanfic

Me trying to wake up the next morning: I made a grave mistake

me: *sees a bee* I respect you

bee: *starts flying toward me*

me: *runs away shrieking*

Spidey-Petey

320321 notes

Welcome to the Disaster Zone

thebootydiaries

tumblr's draconian meme dictator: and this weeks overly passionate meme is *spins wheel* COLE SLAW!

the citizens of tumblr, thirsty for the meme and chanting in unison: COLE SLAW COLE SLAW COLE SLAW

The true reason for destroying the spider marriage

Person: marvel undid the spider marriage because–

Me: they hated Mary Jane. That is the only real reason.

Person: but…they said they did it because being married would age Peter!

Me: and yet they allow Sue and Reed Richards to stay married and have two children, allowed Scott Lang to have his daughter and even advertised the fact Scott is a single father. As for “aging”, they gave Peter a job as a scientist and as a company owner aka more “adult” career than freelance photography for a newspaper.

Person: but…they said–

Me: being in a relationship is bad for Peter? And yet they keep forcing relationships with him and women other than MJ like Carol Danvers and even introduced Carlie Cooper right after destroying the marriage so that she can replace MJ. Let’s also not forget how they romanticized Gwen Stacy to angelic levels to try and push the “one true love” thing.

Person: well…how can you prove that they hated MJ?

Me: in nearly every comic after OMD, they try to write her out the story, have scenes that insult her intelligence and have had writers of those books talk about how she’s “anti-marvel” for being a conventionally attractive woman, say that she’s lesser for being a model and not a scientist like Carlie or Anna Marie and even retconned it so that SHE was the one that guilt tripped Peter into making the deal with Mephisto when it was originally the other way around. Let’s not forget how in “house of M”, an event about year before civil war and OMD, they tried their hardest make it that Peter’s “true desire” was to be married to Gwen Stacy instead and have a child with her and not MJ.

Person: ….

Me: Yeah, marvel is full of bullshit and ruined spider-man just because they hated that he married Mary Jane instead of Gwen Stacy. Even when MJ developed into a great character over the years, they still couldn’t get over it.

Quentin: *threatens to kill the people that work for him when a drone goes missing, is willing to murder children and thousands of other to maintain his image as a hero, took advantage of a grieving boy’s kindness and, again, was willing to let thousands die because he thinks the bigger the casualties the more heroic he’ll look*

Tony Stark: *calls Quentin’s hologram tech “BARF” and uses it to help those struggling with trauma. Also fires the clearly insane man that seemed disgusted that Tony used his invention as a therapy device, making you wonder what Quentin wanted that tech used for*

Tony antis: Tony Stark is the real evil one here.

series: *male and female character make eye contact and smile*

me: oh no. oh god no please

richie-rambling

sir for the good of the country stop tweeting

220467 notes

thebootydiaries

My friends(don't have tumblr): have u seen this meme lol, it was on the 'best of tumblr' facebook page, tumblr is so funny

Me, a tumblr gremlin: haha yeah lol, think i've seen that one before lol

Me (what I really mean): you fools. I am plugged into the mainframe, wired to the primary source. Of course have seen that meme, and all 5000 of it's variants, 3 and a half months ago. I have seen the rise and fall of that meme, the boom and bust, the drama, the pain, the shitposting, oh god, the shitposting. I have seen this meme in it's rawest, freshest, unpasturised, most primal state. Do not insult me with these rank, stale puddles, that sit at the very base of the meme trickle down economy.

After suffering through watching the first 41 minutes of the lighting thief I’ve realized something about the strong dislike towards the pjo movies...

It makes them sound better than they actually are

So if you ever for one second considered watching the pjo movies, here’s my ongoing narration of what I was able to get through as a I not-so-slowly became more annoyed that no one asked for;

(Kind of in order but not really)

(I’m talking to the creators btw. That’s how I complain express my unbiased opinions )

What do you mean there’s no “I never wanted to be a half-blood”?

We’re not even starting with Percy?

Those are supposed to be Zeus and Poseidon?

Oh yeah just go on and spoil the movie no prophecy or confusion, ok I guess, just tell me the whole problem like that.

So we’re just going to start with Percy sitting there doing nothing?

Look I understand you’re trying to express the point that he likes water but um, it’s been a while.

He was in the water for seven minutes and didn’t realize anything at all?

Ms. Dodds is not supposed to be a substitute it’s a key point people forgetting her.

Is that how dyslexia works? I mean I can’t really say much about it.... I’ll let that one slide.

Poseidon just speaks in Percy’s mind like that. All right then.

Poseidon’s whole existence in this movies botters me so much can you not.

Why is Grover’s head uncovered? Him having a cap is also key point, it wouldn’t have been mentioned that much anyways.

Also these do not look like sixth graders did you just straight up make them high schoolers?

I need Percy’s narration so bad you have no idea.

Honestly I pictured Gabe as a lot worse than that but I can deal with that.

I do not believe that’s how reading Ancient Greek works.

That’s not how the Percy-Gabe relationship works but you do you.

So Percy didn’t casually overhear Grover and Chiron talking, they talked in front of him like everything was ok.

Not to mention that Percy actually cared about what Chiron taught, he knew what he was doing.

I needed Nancy my-freckles-look-like-sprayed-Cheetos. (Sorry forgot her last name)

“This is a pen” bothers me to a whole new level

No nightmares, no vacation, no get away just, Grover rushing in.

“Brace yourself” a whole movie early but I guess.

That’s not how the Minotaur died.

That��s the entrance to camp half-blood?

Where’s Thalia?

So you’re just going to take away Anabeth taking care of Percy from me and “he’s the one, he has to be” aren’t you?

That��s the infirmary?

Are we seriously not getting the Big House?

That��s the camp?

That��s Annabeth?

The cgi looks kinda... wobbly but I’m not one to speak about that.

You know, what I liked so much while reading the books was that Percy and Anabeth didn’t fall in love the second they looked each other in the eyes. There was actually development. Not that you care anyways.

Just go ahead and throw away Grover’s personality. Why don’t you take the Aphrodite daughter’s too?

“Here’s the place your dad built for you Percy, because we all know who he is, who you are, and it’s ‘rare’ for you to be alive not a major threat or broken promise , no biggie”

Is there a Mr. D in this place?

Seriously are there even cabins here?

Why is everyone so old. There’s a whole demigods-die-young-no-one-actually-grows-up thing.

No Lord of the Bathroom either, huh?

I’m I even getting Clarisse?

How’s Annabeth supposed to ask Percy to be on her team? Oh.

Nice very-noticeable-very-much-existing scar you got there Luke.

No sword fighting lessons that make it hard for Percy to hate Luke afterwards?

I dunno man, it’s been a while but I doubt that’s how the camp ground is supposed to look.

I feel so robbed on Chiron-Annabeth interactions.

Percy just happens to be a great sword fighter cause why not.

Look, the girl who said “You really thought it was gonna be that easy? I’m a daughter of Athena, goddess of Wisdom and Strategic War. Which means I never lose” Did NOT run away from her home when she was seven and live in multiple safe houses with two others run always whilst fighting for survival everyday.

Percy and Annabeth fighting scene. That’s it. You don’t want details trust me.

Annabeth will never celebrate a victory like that.

And there goes Poseidon speaking in Percy’s mind again.

I gotta say, the healing was good, I’ll give you that. One good thing in the whole movie.

I’m still feeling robbed at Percy not getting claimed, just knowing like that.

...and I turned off the Tv.

If anyone cares I’ll try to watch more and maybe keep complaining giving my opinion about it.

Let’s pray Disney knows what it’s doing and this isn’t all the visual content we get.

brain: slartibartfast

me: huh?

brain: that was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?

me: yeah, what about it?

brain: yeah

DM: Time to get out the Monster Manual, or as some people like to call it: the Waifu Catalogue.

Me: WHAT.

blimpyou

Sometimes I smash or pass the whole book

What the fuck guys

ultimatefangirl-exe

I like to smash or pass monsters in DnD and Pathfinder books.

evilassumptions

BugBears are legit.

@celestial-guardian-ragnarok @chika-ann

can we not

cranky-witch-ladygaia

Smash or pass

chika-ann

Heh… that depends… what’s on the list

dogs

there are dogs on that list

you wanna fuck a dog

wait

this is tumblr

don’t answer that

sciencegenius

dogs? pass.

Liches tho……. ;)))

definitelybeholderrpgideas

That’s actually not a terrible entry to thirst after. I mean, you could technically count it as necrophilia, but its consensual necrophilia, so you do you.

What the fuck

definitelybeholderrpgideas

Of all the reblogs and additions to this post, this is the one you’re shocked by?

Consensual necrophilia is not a phrase I thought I’d hear. Then again this is tumblr, so maybe that’s on me

noblevagrant65

Hot take: the term consensual necrophilia also applies to vampires, since they’re undead creatures. Wanna fuck Strahd? You’re in the same boat with the lich fuckers.

However, what I think the real treasure we’re all sleeping on is liches….in love. Just immortal wizard gals being pals.

I am absolutely here for the immortal undead lesbians

tigerboy007

IS IT STILL NECROPHILIA IF YOU’RE DEAD TOO??

This Is Not The Dungeon of Good Decisions

I don’t think so?

dropthebeet-ao3

well its not bestiality is a horse fucks a horse

DropTheBeet

31034 notes