@ambercipher
I want to shave the sides of my head

Trick | Icon by @maydayparkers! |side blog is @subatomic-tonic-train | Bi | HoH/tinnitus | ADHD | biracial | genderfluid | AFAB | he/she/they | Audio, no audio, weird audio and loud audio tagged | ACAB | BLM

Posts
18855
Last update
2020-10-22 21:35:36
    keuhkopussirotta

    cat: hey you gonna eat that?

    human: uh, that’s a rat. They’ve been showing up ever since we started harvesting grain. We don’t eat them, they eat our food.

    cat: free game then. Cool.

    human: be my guest.

    cat: hey is this spot free? It looks warm and I need a place to have my litter.

    humans: this is my house. Feel free, I guess, just don’t get stepped on.

    cat: hey can you watch my kittens for me? I need to hunt and I don’t want predators finding them.

    human: holy shit these buggers are cute. Nothing will happen to them.

    cat: I am going to climb on your lap now and you are going to love me.

    human: I’m ok with this.

    sailor--spoon

    HEY JUST TO REMIND EVERYONE: CATS DOMESTICATED THEMSELVES AND WE ARE JUST LUCKY THAT THEY CHOSE TO HAVE US IN THEIR LIVES

    microcroft

    kinda mad because op managed to summarize the domestication of cats in a single post what it took me a 10+ page research paper to explain

    closet-keys

    a lesbian: I love being a lesbian and thinking about how I’ve always been a lesbian even before I knew, and thinking back on memories as a kid and how I’ve always liked girls

    other lesbians: this is relatable and really true for me too

    chanting people in the notes: Don’t Forget: Sexuality Is Fluid- So You Might Change Your Mind. Change Your Mind. Change Your Mind.

    aestheticsadtrash

    As a bi person also super relatable

    spideyandnova

    school: make time for your interests and hobbies!

    school: oh btw we're going to keep you here for about 6 1/2 hours. and after that, we're going to give you hours of homework.

    school: eat 3 meals a day!

    school: you don't have time for breakfast if you want to get here on time, though. and here's lunch, it's cardboard.

    school: school is free!

    school: oh, but you have to pay for any ap classes, textbooks, folders, supplies, and materials for projects :)

    school: you earn the grades you get!

    school: what do you mean this teacher gives you bad grades because they don't like you? that's ridiculous!

    school: respect your teachers.

    school: oh, but they don't have to respect you. even if you don't know the answer they can still call you out in front of the whole class. and don't forget, if you correct them, we'll lower your grade.

    school: everyone is an individual!

    school: here's a standardized test to figure out how smart you all are.

    school: balance your social life and academics.

    school: but you also have to do homework and study for the rest of the day.

    school: we accept all love!

    school: stop kissing and hugging eachother. that's gross.

    school: bullying is bad!

    school: but our teachers won't help you if you don't say anything.

    school: it's okay to be out sick.

    school: but the teacher won't explain it to you if you were. that's /your/ fault that you were sick.

    school: act like adults.

    school: but we're going to treat you like children.

    People allergic to peanuts: keep peanuts as far away from me as possible or I'll die

    People allergic to shellfish: no shrimp pls I don't wanna die today

    Lactose intolerant people:*while eating ice cream* the weight of my sins drags me closer to hell but I sit in a throne higher than God's

    marvel-lous-things

    BuzzFeed quiz: find out which avenger is your soulmate

    Me, spending 6-8 minutes on each question to carefully think about and then choose each option so that it aligns perfectly with Tony and Tony alone: hm

    BuzzFeed quiz:

    BuzzFeed quiz: you got Tony Stark

    Me: haha rad

    scarletmanuka1

    *Me, carefully pondering my choices.

    How do you eat toast?

    • Patriotically
    • Angrily
    • Using bots you built as a child prodigy
    • In Soviet Russia, toast eats you.
    marvel-lous-things

    5. No toast for the unworthy

    6. Caw caw

    Lila: dad. I need to tell you something important. Please don’t freak out.

    Clint: Lila. Honey. Listen to me. This is a judgement free household, okay? You don’t have to worry about me reacting in any way negatively to what you’re about to say. You are who you are, and I’m more than willing to accept that. You might have trouble believing it, but I want you to know that I’ll always love you no matter what, straight or otherwise, and-

    Lila: I prefer guns over arrows

    Clint:

    Clint, frothing at the mouth: get the fuck out of my house right now

    Headcanon: Bruce likes to use slang words because he knows it makes Dick uncomfortable - he even does it when they team up after Dick becomes Nightwing

    Batman: *swings onto the rooftop* What's hip and happening homie?

    Nightwing: Please stop

    Batman: Why you all up in my grill?

    ---------------

    Bruce: You snuck out when I specifically told you not to - that's not very kush

    Dick: Why are you doing this?

    ---------------

    Bruce: The pizza rolls didn't get burnt! *dabs*

    Dick: *starts crying*

    ---------------

    Wally: Is that your dad?

    Bruce *in the distance*: What up boi

    Dick: No no, fuck no

    ---------------

    Nightwing: You're saying they usually meet at this warehouse?

    Batman: Fo' sho'

    Nightwing: I will punch you

    ---------------

    Nightwing: Riddler is escaping into my city - I'll take him down and bring him back

    Batman: I guess I can pop lock and drop this case

    Nightwing: This is why I left you for Blüdhaven