Disney: alright. Let’s put out our new first lgbt character wth half a minute of screentime. Everyone’s gonna freak out ad they’re gonna be so pleased. This is all we can do
Sony Animation: our main character has a pride button on her at all times
Disney: WHAT THE FUCK YOU CAN DO THAT???
A lot of people in the notes are saying this is the same as the performative shit Disney’s doing and I’m like….. not really tho? I feel like constantly seeing a character with a pride pin throughout a 90 minute movie is more meaningful than a fucking gay cop that’s in one easily removable scene or an easy-to-miss gay kiss that lasts two seconds and gets censored easily in other countries. Katie has a pride pin and it’s not made a big deal out of it. It just exists in her person. Also you can’t go frame by frame inan animated movie and erase a pin, that’s shit hard
Speaking as a gay woman, I will always consider a character wearing/owning a rainbow or flag-color item to be better representation than someone who only appears for five seconds saying “girlfriend” or standing close to someone of the same gender.
Also, the MAIN, CENTRAL CHARACTER of a movie!? Hello? Not a single vague throwaway line or a 2 second blink-and-miss it background character. The main character! HUGE difference.
peter p: but mr america sir, aren’t you technically only 33? are you sure you qualify for this?
steve, taking a senior citizen parking spot and claiming his 15th senior discount of the day: shut your mouth you’re like 5
broke - the team mocking steve for being ‘old’
woke - steve trying to get into a zoo for free because “fuck it i was born in 1918 I deserve the fucking seniors discount”
I mean yes sure he could just take the military discount and save just as much but it’s the principle of the thing dammit.
pool employee: sir, Mr. Captain America, this is a seniors water aerobics class.
steve: I was born in 1918 am I not a senior citizen?
exaspertated pool employee: yes, but why d-
steve: some of my friends are in this class just let me take it with them!
bucky, yelling, already in the pool: just let him in susan! you let me in!
Susan (whispering): he’s old? I let him in because I thought he was homeless and sad.
*black people with guns*
white people: criminal thugs!!!!!!
*arab people with guns*
white people: terrorists!!!!!!!
*white people with guns*
white people: well you know, that’s our second amendment right. so…
teachers calling roll 15 years from now: john, samantha, julio (deep sigh)... sasuke
Batman: I have 800 costumes because I must be prepared for any eventuality
Wonder Woman: I have 1200 costumes because I’m 6,000 years old, I like a little variety, it’s important to dress for diplomacy, and Hephaestus doesn’t get much commission from anywhere else these days
Superman: I have one costume because my moms made it. No I will not get a new one and fuck you for suggesting it
I originally meant “Lara sent the fabric and Martha made the costume” but now I can’t stop thinking of a Superman AU where Jor sent his wife along with his son and Martha and Jonathan happened upon this Space MILF™️ and went “throuple?” so Clark Kent grew up with three parents
Have you seen the post about Bruce thinking Butler was the third parent? Because Bruce and Clark being pitying together is a brilliant image.
Diana: my mother-
Clark: singular?
Diana: I - yes.
Bruce, pitying: I bet you don't have a butler either.
Diana, confused:.... No?
Clark and Bruce: oh you poor thing.
Excuse you Diana Prince has 800 moms she was the only child on the entire island of Themyscira you honestly think they didn’t all take a hand in raising her
That's an extremely valid point and I cant believe I forgot that.
Revised version:
Diana: My mother-
Clark: singular?
Diana, louder: My mother number two hundred and twelve-
A List of Instances that have occurred while I was writing
Me, at the grocery store: wow this watermelon is the same weigh as a severed human head!
My dad, two feet away: what
Me: what
My brother walking in to the room: …what are you doing
Me, crying: T-posing to assert dominance over the characters in my own story
My brother: wow, what page are you on?
Me, a writer: 32
My brother: wow you write really fast
Me, a writer, who has not managed to write a single sentence in a full week: Right.
My dad: hey we’re gonna watch a movie as a family in a few hours. You want to join us?
Me: i was planning on writing a bit today.
My dad: well then, maybe when you’re done?
Me, sweating: i dont think you know how this works.
Me: what if i wrote this quick one shot and finished something for once in my life
Also me: what if i turned this quick one shot into a multichaptered fic with lots of angst and pinning and never finished it ever
Brother: hey are you okay? You look upset
Me: im fine!!
Dad: are you alright? You look sad–
Me: im cool!
Boyfriend: hey are you doing okay?
Me: yeah. Im good i promise.
Sister: are you doing alri–
Me: I SWEAR IM FINE. IM MAKING THESE FACES BECAUSE IM PLOTTING A STORY IN MY HEAD AND ITS SUPER DRAMATIC. IM ACTUALLY QUITE CONTENT RIGHT NOW. PLEASE GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING.
Me: alright i have a debate tomorrow to prepare for, a midterm the day after that for a class im barely passing, homework due, a lab report that needs to be done, another lab to get ready for, and i need to get at least eight hours of sleep this week and eat sometime before next Thursday.
Also me: and thEN THEY WERE ROOMMATES AND THERE WAS ONLY ONE BED
Me: alright! Time to do my homework!
Me, six hours later with two pages of an au written and no homework done: how the fuck did i get here again
Me: *writes a scene where any character has their jaw gently turned up so they can look in anothers eyes*
Me: is it just me or is this super intimate???
Me: ….
Me: *googles “how to tell if you’re touched starved”*
What people think why i became a bookbinder: Oh she wants to explore her artistic horizon with those pretty leather bound books of hers. She even gives them out as gifts to her friends. It most likely helps her with anxiety or maybe she just wanted a more special costume made notebook.
Why I actually became a bookbinder: I just illegally downloaded and printed out several of my favourite fanfics and books and started binding them into books cuz I love reading them but looking at screens for too long gives me headaches.
op youre fucking big brained oh my god
If you want to i can send you a link to some of the Tutorial videos i started binding my fanfic books.
PLEASE SEND ME THE LINK I WANT TO DO THIS SO BAD
PLEASE SEND LINKS OP PLEASE I BEG YOU
@laughuntilourribsgettough @starduststyx upon request: A tutorial playlist for my personal favourite bookbinding methods
2)Japanese Binding
3) Belgian Binding
4) Coptic stitch binding
5) Case Bookbinding
op I appreciate these links so much but like you don't 'illegally' download fanfic, the links are on ao3 SO that people can dl it
and also pirating from smaller creators is kind of a shitty thing to do. try sticking to the big corporations
Me: Has several fanfiction WIP’s
Me: Has 2 novel WIP’s
Me: Has a hundred different fics I need to finish reading
Me: Needs to sleep
Me: Has to be up early
Brain: Let’s give her another WIP idea
Me: Oh my GoD, that’s brilliant!
Me: Is up until 5am writing a new fanfic
Me trying to wake up the next morning: I made a grave mistake
me: *sees a bee* I respect you
bee: *starts flying toward me*
me: *runs away shrieking*
tumblr's draconian meme dictator: and this weeks overly passionate meme is *spins wheel* COLE SLAW!
the citizens of tumblr, thirsty for the meme and chanting in unison: COLE SLAW COLE SLAW COLE SLAW
The true reason for destroying the spider marriage
Person: marvel undid the spider marriage because–
Me: they hated Mary Jane. That is the only real reason.
Person: but…they said they did it because being married would age Peter!
Me: and yet they allow Sue and Reed Richards to stay married and have two children, allowed Scott Lang to have his daughter and even advertised the fact Scott is a single father. As for “aging”, they gave Peter a job as a scientist and as a company owner aka more “adult” career than freelance photography for a newspaper.
Person: but…they said–
Me: being in a relationship is bad for Peter? And yet they keep forcing relationships with him and women other than MJ like Carol Danvers and even introduced Carlie Cooper right after destroying the marriage so that she can replace MJ. Let’s also not forget how they romanticized Gwen Stacy to angelic levels to try and push the “one true love” thing.
Person: well…how can you prove that they hated MJ?
Me: in nearly every comic after OMD, they try to write her out the story, have scenes that insult her intelligence and have had writers of those books talk about how she’s “anti-marvel” for being a conventionally attractive woman, say that she’s lesser for being a model and not a scientist like Carlie or Anna Marie and even retconned it so that SHE was the one that guilt tripped Peter into making the deal with Mephisto when it was originally the other way around. Let’s not forget how in “house of M”, an event about year before civil war and OMD, they tried their hardest make it that Peter’s “true desire” was to be married to Gwen Stacy instead and have a child with her and not MJ.
Person: ….
Me: Yeah, marvel is full of bullshit and ruined spider-man just because they hated that he married Mary Jane instead of Gwen Stacy. Even when MJ developed into a great character over the years, they still couldn’t get over it.
Quentin: *threatens to kill the people that work for him when a drone goes missing, is willing to murder children and thousands of other to maintain his image as a hero, took advantage of a grieving boy’s kindness and, again, was willing to let thousands die because he thinks the bigger the casualties the more heroic he’ll look*
Tony Stark: *calls Quentin’s hologram tech “BARF” and uses it to help those struggling with trauma. Also fires the clearly insane man that seemed disgusted that Tony used his invention as a therapy device, making you wonder what Quentin wanted that tech used for*
Tony antis: Tony Stark is the real evil one here.
My friends(don't have tumblr): have u seen this meme lol, it was on the 'best of tumblr' facebook page, tumblr is so funny
Me, a tumblr gremlin: haha yeah lol, think i've seen that one before lol
Me (what I really mean): you fools. I am plugged into the mainframe, wired to the primary source. Of course have seen that meme, and all 5000 of it's variants, 3 and a half months ago. I have seen the rise and fall of that meme, the boom and bust, the drama, the pain, the shitposting, oh god, the shitposting. I have seen this meme in it's rawest, freshest, unpasturised, most primal state. Do not insult me with these rank, stale puddles, that sit at the very base of the meme trickle down economy.
After suffering through watching the first 41 minutes of the lighting thief I’ve realized something about the strong dislike towards the pjo movies...
It makes them sound better than they actually are
So if you ever for one second considered watching the pjo movies, here’s my ongoing narration of what I was able to get through as a I not-so-slowly became more annoyed that no one asked for;
(Kind of in order but not really)
(I’m talking to the creators btw. That’s how I complain express my unbiased opinions )
...and I turned off the Tv.
If anyone cares I’ll try to watch more and maybe keep complaining giving my opinion about it.
Let’s pray Disney knows what it’s doing and this isn’t all the visual content we get.
brain: slartibartfast
me: huh?
brain: that was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?
me: yeah, what about it?
brain: yeah
DM: Time to get out the Monster Manual, or as some people like to call it: the Waifu Catalogue.
Me: WHAT.
Sometimes I smash or pass the whole book
What the fuck guys
I like to smash or pass monsters in DnD and Pathfinder books.
BugBears are legit.
can we not
Heh… that depends… what’s on the list
dogs
there are dogs on that list
you wanna fuck a dog
wait
this is tumblr
don’t answer that
That’s actually not a terrible entry to thirst after. I mean, you could technically count it as necrophilia, but its consensual necrophilia, so you do you.
What the fuck
Of all the reblogs and additions to this post, this is the one you’re shocked by?
Consensual necrophilia is not a phrase I thought I’d hear. Then again this is tumblr, so maybe that’s on me
Hot take: the term consensual necrophilia also applies to vampires, since they’re undead creatures. Wanna fuck Strahd? You’re in the same boat with the lich fuckers.
However, what I think the real treasure we’re all sleeping on is liches….in love. Just immortal wizard gals being pals.
I am absolutely here for the immortal undead lesbians
IS IT STILL NECROPHILIA IF YOU’RE DEAD TOO??
I don’t think so?
well its not bestiality is a horse fucks a horse
When you see it, REBLOG IT.
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
If you ever want to talk: My Tumblr ask is always open.
Someone: why do u always say u feel sick
Me: because, my sweet dude, I literally cannot determine the line between my mental illness and physical unwellness anymore. I am Literally Always Ready To Die I am in a constant state of uncomfort my guy it always makes me feel like I'm gonna be ridin the queasy train to regretville
Me: haha