that is the face of a man worried he will be next


    Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.


    crane husband.....


    this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.


    (WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

  • Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  
  • As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  
  • It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  
  • Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  
  • The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.
  • They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   
  • Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  
  • Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  
  • Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  
  • It worked!  
  • Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  
  • However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)
  • Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  
  • thesylverlining

    Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

    she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

    His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

    the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

    "chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

    chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"


    just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

    well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.


    Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes


    the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was


    World Heritage Post


    in my most recent game of team defense fort 2 i was banned from a 24/7 hightower pony rp server for screaming ‘incoming gamer!’ into my mic every time i respawned or charged as demoman. and i have to say, nothing really prepares you for the sensation of hearing a grown man say with no hint of irony in his voice, ‘mr sex goblin, if you dont stop saying that im banning you from ponyville forever’


    Mister sex goblin… if you don’t stop saying that, I’m going to have to ban you from Ponyville.


    Incoming gamer.


    if you're a goy that thinks Jewish culture and history and religion is interesting but don't want to intrude upon a closed religion, the answer is academia!! study Jewish academia oh my goodness the sheer volume of freely accessible literature written by Jews about Jews is genuinely staggering. please


    some random goyim out there: wow, i find Jewish culture and history very interesting, but i've determined that it isn't because i'm interested in converting. i just think that Judaism is fascinating, but i'm also aware that because i lack the cultural context of a Jewish person, i could easily misunderstand and disrespect this religion/closed cultural group as an outsider. if only there were a way for me to respectfully engage with specific aspects of Judaism outside of a conversion context........

    every Jewish academic i've ever met in my life, absolutely frothing at the mouth: if somebody doesn't read my 900 page dissertation and six full length books about this specific niche aspect of Jewish culture written to be accessible to a goyische audience, i'm going to throw myself into the sea


    I also like it when they're like hey what's up or something personal/natural instead of the welcome to wherever how can I serve you bit.


    I also like it when they are sitting down or listening to music they clearly enjoy


    There is something so nourishing about walking into a place of business and immediately thinking "huh, I wouldn't have guessed this place would be playing this kind of music" only to see an employee absolutely head-banging along because today is their day to pick the CD and they are living


    Despite what capitalists might think, I do not want to roleplay being royalty in the presence of slaves when I seek professional assistance in obtaining my basic human needs.