False Assumptions & Beliefs about KInk

    People, and  tumblr porn make assumptions about Kink, Femdom, and BDSM all the time.   Here are the ones that drive me nuts. ( if you don’t agree.. rant on your own blog) 

    1. It’s not about sex, It’s all about sex.. .. It’s about service, it is about anticipating your dominants needs before they express it,  its about sex, however, actually having it is solely at the Dominants discretion.  It is about adoration, protection, and honoring your partner for what they give, and what you take..  

    2, We all wear fetish clothes!  We do not need to be dressed in Latex and leather to dominant someone, nor are we typically.  Those outfits are typically uncomfortable, and not conducive to play, and reserved for parties and such.   Being dominant and having a fetish for  certain types of clothing are two different things and are mutually exclusive, and often don’t go together. 

    3. We all look like supermodels.. Hmph.. Really, have you been to a kinky party, club?  Most of us are average looking folks with every body type under the sun.  In fact the model images you see on Tumblr are rare to see in reality. 

    4. Everyone in Chasity, has a small dick, and never ever gets to fuck...   BULLSHIT!    They are at the beck and call of their owner to do whatever they want… and many get out to be fucked a hell of a lot. 

    5.    You have to deny  your submissive sex and have a side lover. C'mon folks.. many people are content with their primary partner, and many aren’t.. Who cares.   This originates in the notion that being submissive is unmanly and undesirable, and it total rubbish.  Submissive men make excellent lovers, because they take direction.  If your not wanting to advocate and speak out for your own pleasure and enjoyment to them ladies, perhaps you are not that dominant.   Men can’t read minds,  tell them how you like it,  if you don’t know.. experiment until you do!  this leads to……

    6.  That Mistresses should never be vulnerable or let their subs make love to them of fuck them.  I do not understand why people chose to deny themselves pleasure and happiness.  It is ok to be vulnerable, you are human, having/expressing emotions does not make you a submissive, anymore than fucking makes you dominant.  

    7. That all dominant women are male hating female supremacists, who need to micromanage all the little wanking men..  Fuck that!.. I love men….. and most are good guys.   If you feel that you have to micromanage and monitor someones activities of daily living.. I’m sorry, but they are not submissive.   

    8. That men who cross-dress are gay, fags, and really want to be dominated by men, crave BBC and real women don’t consider them desirable, because they are not man enough….  BULLSHIT!  Many women I know have husbands and lovers that cross-dress for the humiliation aspect of it, at the direction of their wives..  or for simply the fetishistic enjoyment of the clothes, or to be our lesbian lovers for the evening.   They still have times when the are in boy mode, and/or girl mode.. it depends on the dominants mood.  

    9. That being a sadist means you have to leave a person looking like hamburger meat..  Please.. you can  torment a consenting individual with just a thought, and a few well chosen words.  One of my biggest gripes is the unsafe and unhealthy sadistic scenes I see depicted in images.  This scares off the newbies, and make people question exploring kink.   

    10. That everyone can be kinky..  you can’t make someone kinky,   Kink isn’t easy, in fact it is harder than most vanilla relationships, because it order for it to be good and work, you have to be able  to compatible outside of the kink and within the kink. If you really want your needs to be met you have to focus on the other persons needs above your own.. at the same time you must be completely free to honestly express & communicate your own needs and desires..  If both people are doing so, and one take the leads and the other follows, you have a symbiotic relationship that is healthy.   You should be able to laugh together, drink a cuppa tea, and cuddle,go out the dinner with friends, come home and   fuck, peg, be locked up in chastity, teased and tormented, worshiped and adored.  ..  Is it easy? NO!.. It is hard enough to find compatibility outside of kink, let alone within in. and many of us do what we can to get what we need, and for some that is Tumblr




    This is refreshing and very encouraging!

    I needed to hear this big time right now.

    Too bad the OP is deactivated, sigh.


    Quite simply @chastityandheelsqueen … ourvanilla! 💋🔒


    Nice reminder.


    December 17th - a rescue plan

    Some good news, I’ve been talking to two developers now and got them working together, we just had a meeting with the guys behind an existing large (millions of users) site similar to Tumblr, with a vibrant and open-minded community, and more importantly, it has open-minded owners who believe in free speech. They think we can get something done here to rescue the whole community.

    I’m not allowed to reveal the site name yet. I can tell you it’s mainstream, open to everyone, open-minded and welcoming. (It’s not WordPress or any site owned by Facebook or Twitter. It’s not Pillowfort, that’s in closed beta. It’s not Ello, that’s mainly for artists. It’s not kinkspace or fetlife, those are too specialist. It’s not jux, that seems to be closed. It’s not Soup, that seems still in development and too small.)

    One of the reasons for delaying the announcement for next few days is they don’t want a “land grab” where people take the names of current popular Tumblr users over there (cyber squatting). So they are looking at ways for existing Tumblr users to keep the same names on the new site.

    More info over the days to come.

    The plan is, broadly:

    1. By December 9th, announcement of the new site and how to secure your username there

    2. By December 10th, an online tool for bloggers to copy their existing content to the new site automatically, with the same tags and captions.

    3. Bloggers will need to copy their content across between December 10th and December 17th if they want to use the automatic tool.

    4. My understanding is that after December 17th there will be no public access to any “flagged” posts on Tumblr, but the original poster will still be able to see the flagged post (for a short time at least). Therefore, the original poster may still be able to manually download a post to their own PC or phone, after December 17th, and manually upload it to the other site. But if you have lots of posts that will take a long time, it will be better to use the automatic tool before December 17th.

    Please understand that these dates are approximate and may change for technical or other reasons.

    There may be a few rough edges or not so perfect looking site design on the transfer tool. Everyone is doing their best. The main goal here is to help as many people as possible preserve access to their content, in the short space of time Tumblr has allowed us, and preserve as much as possible of the Tumblr community spirit somewhere new.

    The new site will cater for photo, GIF, text and html posts. It will not offer video and audio posts, due to cost reasons - maybe in future, but for now you will need to preserve video and audio content yourself in some other place.

    If your Tumblr blog has a mixture of original content and reblogs, or all reblogs, all of that can be copied over to the new site. Reblogs will become “your” original content if nobody else posted them yet, otherwise they will be shown as reblogs. The devs are looking at ways to preserve attribution of reblogs back to the original Tumblr poster, if that person also moves to the new site.

    Important: your Likes cannot be copied from Tumblr to the new site. You will have to go find the same posts again on the new site, and like them afresh.

    (Similarly, existing reblog comments, asks, messages and other user interaction on Tumblr cannot be copied to the new site - that’s just too much to do, in the short time available.)

    If you want to preserve any of your existing Liked posts on Tumblr, you will need to either: (1) download the post to your own PC, or: (2A) reblog it now to your own Tumblr blog, and then (2B) use the automatic tool, before December 17th, to move your whole Tumblr blog across to the new site.

    If you have Liked a lot of posts here on Tumblr, the webapp should be able to help you do steps 1 and 2A quickly, I mean download or reblog.

    (Someone complained to me today about the appearance of Gridllr on a phone. It’s best to use Gridllr on a PC, Mac or Tablet with a large screen.)

    If you have liked a post here on Tumblr and the original poster decides to delete it, or even to delete their entire blog, some time before December 17th, then that post will be permanently lost. So if you want to be sure to preserve any of your Liked posts, you should best download or reblog as soon as possible. If it’s reblogged to your own blog it is safe from deletion, at least for next few days.

    Obviously, you will lose access, after December 17th, to all past posts you have liked, if Tumblr has flagged them as NSFW. Again, the steps (1), or (2A) and (2B) covered above will be the only way to hold on to these posts.


    Count me in .. seems like a Great Plan !!!

    Looking forward to december 18th !



    Thank you for sharing this! 

    I am all for this! Sounds like an ambitious plan with a lot of work in the short time provided. I, for one, Appreciate the efforts you and others are making to keep this community together. 

    I hope it works and hope to see everyone in the Next Dimension! 


    Another option presenting itself. Sounds quite promising.


    NSFW Apocalypse of 2018

    So now that Tumblr has officially announced they’re no longer supporting blogs that feature adult content, many of us have one month to move out.

    Let’s strike up a dialogue regarding Plan B & discuss alternative options. We’d love to hear from other content creators & couples blogs like ourselves as well as the thousands of awesome adult content consumers such as you who like & share your hearts out💕

    Where should we move the masses of displaced users & why? Comment below👇🏻


    This site called is welcoming us with open arms. It isn’t up yet but it has been recommended to me several times now


    Here’s another


    I’ve also heard of a place called


    Okay at first glance looks pretty cool. Tumblr like layout for the login page. I’m going to take a look into this.




    I might sign up here under the same name if people are interested 🤙


    Going to look at these


    Nearly weekend time again, and this weekend Mistress Natasha is off work so I'll be used and abused hard. Still locked in my cock cage, but I'll be getting pegged hard as well as tied and whipped, all for Mistresses pleasure. I'm such a lucky bitch

    #luckyslut #femdom #strapon-femdom