@blazichu
Death by Grammar

| she/they | ISFJ | ♐ |

Currently playing: Phantasy Star Online 2 (!!!!)

"GIMME A TOASTER, OR GIMME DEATH."

Posts
124973
Last update
2020-07-09 14:45:20

    Turnabout Sisters

    <>Edgeworth: I wonder which defense attorney am I going to defeat in court tomorrow? Seems like our defendant has yet to fill up the paperwork.

    <>Gumshoe: Oh! Maya Fey's lawyer! I know who that is! I met him snooping around the crime scene! You don't need to worry at all, Mr. Edgeworth, he seems like a total novice.

    <>Edgeworth: Wonderful.

    <>Gumshoe: His name was... Ha-no wait, LARRY, Larry Butz!

    <>Edgeworth: *chokes on his tea* W-WHAT LARRY BUTZ ARE YOU SURE DETECTIVE???

    <>Gumshoe: Yes, I mean.... no. No, I think I got it wrong.

    <>Edgeworth: Of course, yes. You got it wrong. That only makes sense. (Why would one of my old childhood friends be a LAWYER on this case don't be silly, Miles.)

    <>Gumshoe: His name was Phoenix Wright!

    <>Edgeworth: *Falls off his chair*

    there’s nothing better than griffin mcelroy completely apathetically and deadpan doing a bit while his brothers literally choke on their breath screaming with laughter in the background

    oh sorry sorry but this is FALSE—patently FALSE—information because i’m pretty sure what’s better is Justin struggling to get through what is probably not even a very good bit while his brothers shout over him and also each other in the background

    what’s REALLY good is when Travis and Griffin are deadpan bouncing back and forth with a bit while you can hear Justin animorphing into a whistling teakettle in the background

    what’s also good is when Justin is possessed by a Voice and suddenly he’s an unstoppable juggernaut of comedy while his brothers cry for mercy

    what about Travis being posessed by a train of thought so thoroughly ADHD that no mortal can comprehend it causing Griffin and Justin to have a breakdown

    yaboybigbadguzma

    what about when Justin is just so thrilled by a bit he is losing his shit before it’s even finished and it’s just so pure because Griffin is baffled and Travis cannot believe this shit.

    When Travis says something OFF THE WALL to a question and his brothers go “Uhhhh?!” In tones of awe/horror and he just very calmly replies “yes?”

    so is everyone saying that the solution is to vote tr*mp out gonna acknowledge that ferguson and baltimore happened under the obama admin or are we gonna keep doing this dance until we die?

    Voting out the bastard isn’t The Single Solution, but that doesn’t mean it’s pointless.

    The US is a forest fire. You have the choice to dump a plane load of water on it. Is one load of water going to put out a forest fire? Haha, of course not. There’s far, far more work to do.

    I’m tired of convincing people that fighting the fire is worth it even if you can’t put it out completely yet, and I’m tired of firefighters who dump one load of water and declare the job done.

    to extend the metaphor further, it’s completely unhelpful to be that person pointing out that the forest shouldn’t even be on fire, that poor forest management is the cause of this fire, and that other countries manage their forestry service in such a way that fires of this magnitude don’t happen

    yeah okay that’s all true but the forest is on fire now and people are burning, so grab a fucking bucket

    <>I am the greatest earthbender in the world! And don’t you dunderheads ever forget it!

    <>AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER (2005 - 2008)

    Toph’s arc is actually so important, and is often overlooked. It’s not as outspoken as Zuko’s and Sokka’s, but it’s still a great character arc.

    As a blind girl, she’s often told she can’t do something, she’ll never be able to live a normal life, she’s fragile, she’s their little girl. She’s been underestimated time and time again. Toph overcame every struggle they threw at her, and she came out more powerful. Toph showed that it’s okay to stand up to your parents, and that even though parents do something out of love, it can still be very harmful to you. Toph showed that it’s okay to be a girl without being explicitly feminine. Toph showed that your handicap isn’t all you are, it’s only part of who you are.

    Toph’s arc deserves more appreciation, because it’s just as important for kids to see as Zuko’s redemption and Sokka’s development.

    Sorry, I could never be a capitalist, I suffer from “wanting humans to have their basic needs met” disorder, where I care about people who aren’t me.

    Someone once asked me if, assuming we got universal healthcare, I would be okay with the rise in “healthcare tourism” where people who are sick come to our country to get their medical bills taken care of and life-saving medical treatment cheaper than in their home countries. I was just like, yeah thats fine, I’d actually prefer it if 0 people died from preventable causes kept behind a paywall for no reason.

    part of what makes tragedies tragic is the story being preventable from the outside but unpreventable from the inside

    imagine you’re walking down the street on an early, rainy morning. you just got yourself a cup of hot coffee. you’re thinking about work. there’s a bumpy part of the sidewalk, and you trip....what do you do? you brace yourself with your free hand, of course. you balance yourself with your dominant foot, naturally. you catch yourself while holding your drink high above your head, nothing is spilled, you don’t get hurt, you keep walking. but as you read this, you aren’t even standing are you? you’re likely reading this while lying in bed, sitting on the couch, or sitting at your desk. you don’t consider how slowly your brain works behind early-morning fog. your sense memory of a rain-slick sidewalk beneath misplaced feet is vague at best. you don’t consider how instinct takes over logic when you’re scared. you don’t have to avoid getting hurt while maintaining balance from where you read this.

    but i’m sure you wouldn’t fall in real life. you wouldn’t crack your chin on the sidewalk, you wouldn’t spill coffee down your shirt. you’re a reasonable person. you wouldn’t kill the random traveler on your way to thebes. you would’ve just talked to the creature you made, formed formed from corpses. you would’ve just talked it out before making a harsh decision. you’d wait a minute to see if your lover woke up before killing yourself. i’m sure of it.

    Every night when I tell the pup it’s time for bed, he sprints to his crate and sit<>s so politely — expectantly, even

    But he’s not expecting food, nor pets — nor even praise

    No

    <>He‘s waiting to be tucked in

    I forgot, one night — I was tired and I didn’t remember to wrap him in his blanket before I went upstairs

    Not half an hour later, he started barking and crying and I couldn’t figure out why

    But now I know

    <>He was waiting to be tucked in

    Sir, I accuse you of <>baby

    <>YOUR GUILT IS CONFIRMED

    <>YOU ARE B A B Y

    sleep paralysis is honestly the most bullshit part of being a living thing. sometimes my brain just occasionally screws up and goes ????? uhhhh . cant move.  here’s a demon 

    I’ve been having sleep paralysis for over 10 years now. One time I was laying there like “well at least I’m not hallucinati–” and suddenly heard the 2010 world cup vuvuzelas blasting at full volume and was so angry I actually broke out of it