With October just around the corner, NASA has released its latest Galaxy of Horrors posters. Presented in the style of vintage horror movie advertisements. As fun and creative as all three posters are, they're based on real phenomena. 🎃

    Can you hear this exoplanet screaming?

    As HD 80606 b approaches its star from an extreme, elliptical orbit, it suffers star-grazing torture that causes howling, supersonic winds and shockwave storms across the planet. Its torturous journey boils its atmosphere to a hellish 2,000 degrees Fahrenheit every 111 days, roasting both its light and dark sides. HD 80606b will never escape this scorching nightmare.

    This bone-chilling force will leave you shivering alone in terror!

    An unseen power is prowling throughout the cosmos, driving the universe to expand at a quickening rate. This relentless pressure, called dark energy, is nothing like dark matter, that mysterious material only revealed by its gravitational pull. Dark energy offers a bigger fright: pushing galaxies farther apart over trillions of years, leaving the universe to an inescapable, freezing death in the pitch black expanse of outer space.​

    Cygnus X-1 Presents:

    It’s Dinner Time and You’re The Meal!

    Lurking in our galaxy, approximately 6,000 light-years from Earth, is a monster named CygnusX-1. This black hole, which has about 14.8 times the mass of our Sun, will stretch and squeeze anything it captures in its immense gravity. Cygnus X-1 is waiting, snacking on its neighboring star. Don’t get too close, or you’ll become its next meal!

    This chillingly haunted galaxy mysteriously stopped making stars only a few billion years after the Big Bang! It became a cosmic cemetery, illuminated by the red glow of decaying stars. Dare to enter, and you might encounter the frightening corpses of exoplanets or the final death throes of once-mighty stars.

    Something strange and mysterious creeps throughout the cosmos. Scientists call it dark matter. It is scattered in an intricate web that forms the skeleton of our universe. Dark matter is invisible, only revealing its presence by pushing and pulling on objects we can see. NASA’s Roman Space Telescope will investigate its secrets. What will be revealed?

    In the depths of the universe, the cores of two collapsed stars violently merge to release a burst of the deadliest and most powerful form of light, known as gamma rays. These beams of doom are unleashed upon their unfortunate surroundings, shining a million trillion times brighter than the Sun for up to 30 terrifying seconds. No spaceship will shield you from the blinding destruction of the gamma ray ghouls!

    These doomed worlds were among the first and creepiest to be discovered as they orbit an undead star known as a pulsar. Pulsar planets like Poltergeist and its neighboring worlds, Phobetor and Draugr, are consumed with constant radiation from the star’s core. Nothing but the undead can subsist in this most inhospitable corner of the galaxy.

    This far-off blue planet may look like a friendly haven – but don’t be deceived! Weather here is deadly. The planet’s cobalt blue color comes from a hazy, blow-torched atmosphere containing clouds laced with glass. Howling winds send the storming glass sideways at 5,400 mph (2km/s), whipping all in a sickening spiral. It’s death by a million cuts on this slasher planet!

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    i love halloween

    whencartoonsruletheworld

    [ID: Screenshot of tumblr tags reading “please op i am desperate for the context.” End ID.]

    Sure, here ya go:

    • Lord George Gordon Byron was an English poet in the early 1800s.
    • He wrote several narrative poems that influenced the gothic genre and was a HUGE fucking slut. HUGE. This bisexual mess slept with so many fucking people it was insane, no gender was safe. Unfortunately that “no one was safe” mentality did not work out well for him bc there were a LOT of rumors that he impregnated his half-sister.
    • His only child from a legitimate marriage was from his wife, Lady Anne Isabella Noel Byron, who straight-up left him after a year. You know how divorce was uncommon in the 1800s? His wife was just so fed up with him that she did not care and left when her daughter was five weeks old.
    • This daughter was named Ada and would become known as Ada Lovelace.
    • Byron signed the separation papers and then left the country to have sex elsewhere and would later die when Ada was eight.
    • During that time if a couple divorced, usually the Dad would get full custody, so just in case he tried anything Lady Byron made sure to play the devoted and overattentive mother.
    • Lady Byron was absolutely paranoid that her daughter would become an insane gothic mess like her dad so she decided the only thing to do would be to make sure she did not become a Poet™. So she heavily encouraged Ada’s interests in science and mathematics.
    • Around the 1830-40s, Ada met Charles Babbage through a mutual friend and he showed her his prototype for a mechanical calculator. She got absolutely obsessed with this machine and began helping him out with it to the point where her notes on it became more extensive than his.
    • She also added notes to a translation of a paper on this engine that is considered to be the first published algorithm.
    • These notes on the engine and translation became the basis for computer programming.
    • She’s considered The First Computer Programmer™

    So, because Lord Byron was a little slut and his wife wanted their daughter to Not Be, we now have to deal with tumblr discourse. Thank you and goodnight.

    autisticexpression

    Vampire fiction and science fiction as we know it today also exist as a direct result of his friends being stuck in a cabin with him during a storm so there’s that as well. Hot vampires and sci-fi nerds are also his fault.

    airyairyaucontraire

    She was one of the people stuck in the cabin (well I think it was more of a 19th century Airbnb that the group of friends rented for a holiday that was then ruined by the weather) with him. Since they couldn’t do any outdoor activities they decided to write spooky stories and read them together instead. She wrote Frankenstein, kicking off the science fiction genre, and Dr John Polidori wrote… I’ve forgotten the title and it might just be “The Vampire” or “Vampyre” or something like that but anyway he did that. Dracula is much more influential now but that was the first big vampire novel. Byron didn’t create either genre but arguably motivated their creation by being an annoying horndog so they wanted to stay in their rooms writing instead of hang out with him.

    ender-the-intern

    It’s also worth mentioning that the summer they were stuck in that cabin is referred to as the Year Without Summer and was directly caused by the eruption of Mount Tambora in Indonesia the year before. It is also blamed for failed crops and mass famine on almost every continent, and the explosion could be heard something like 1600 miles away. The eruption of Tambora and the subsequent lack of summer worldwide is estimated to have killed anywhere from 100,000 to many millions of people. If all the deaths from diseases such as cholera and typhoid that found perfect conditions to spread rapidly during the famines are included, the total death toll could be estimated around 40 million people worldwide, which would put it on par with world war one.

    TL;DR: Byron being a goth slut led directly to his daughter inventing computer programming, and being stuck in a cabin with him during crazy weather patterns caused by the largest volcanic eruption in modern history on the other side of the globe directly led to the invention of the genres of science fiction and gothic horror

    brightlotusmoon

    Tumblr dragging Lord Byron is similar to its dragging of Ea Nasir, but more verbose and maundering and blunt and intense, which also describes Lord Byron.

    uwuplasmiusuwu

    Byron is the Byronic hero? How ironic.

    linkedsoul

    To be more specific, Byron wrote and abandoned a vampire novella called “Fragment of a Novel” during this “ghost story night”, and after parting ways with him because they couldn’t stand each other anymore, his physician John Polidori took Byron’s novella concept and wrote his own novella called The Vampyre, often considered THE first work of Western vampire literature, the beginning of the Aristocratic Vampire, an iconic piece of homoeritic vampire lit, and the dangerous, debauched, homoerotic vampire of which is considered as being totally inspired by Lord Byron himself.