they/mew/vamp, all prns, safe space, POC

Last update
2021-11-17 05:22:59

    ❗WARNING❗: This is a rant post, you are not obligated to read this but just know that if you do I am not responsible for the feelings you get from it.

    Okay, so can we just take a moment to talk about fanfics and their character/ oc development? Today I looked at a fanfic and I saw an oc character sheet, yknow the normal stuff you see when you start reading someone's story. Now this this what ticked me off, it said in the abilities section of the bio "Able to control air and oxygen and any water around him. " now if that wasn't bad enough in the weakness portion of the chapter it said "There's not really a weakness to their abilities". I don't know about you but your dear old pal here HATES overpowered characters with a ridiculous stat ratio. Now this is where the rant starts so excuse anything offensive I say because I'm mad as hell. EXCUSE ME? I'm sorry but if your damn character has the abilities of a whole god and their drawback is a HEADACHE then your oc is just bad. No I'm not kidding, I'm 100% certain on what I'm saying and listen to me when I tell you this, your oc has to have character development and having an op ability set just takes away the whole purpose of that and leaves no room for anything interesting to happen in your fanfic. Have you ever thought of why you lost motivation if your fanfic? Or maybe it hasn't gotten the spice you want in it? IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOUR OC HAS A TRASHY PERSONALITY WITH THE LEG ROOM OF A DAMN OCTOPUS. I'm not gonna sit here and read your story when your oc is all like "Everything is so boring, everyone is so stupid for not seeing that attack coming. You guys are so annoying and I'm better than y'all. I'm just not gonna say anything or contribute to the plot because I know everything already 😩" FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT🤡 I wanna cry so bad because I just can't believe these people really looked at their oc, approved it, then had the nerve to say "He's rude but is really kind" I'M SORRY? Kind???! W H E R E??? PLEASE I BEG OF Y'ALL BALANCE YOUR OCS OUT!!

    Okay but seriously if you want some advice here's what's I actually recommend for this type of stuff:

    Take a moment and stop what you're writing. I know you have a lot of ideas of what you want in your story but just stop worrying about the plot and think about the oc's your inserting there.

  • Study your character, think about anime references or other anime characters you want to base your oc off of and get inspiration from that
  • Next I would recommend to really think about what type of person you want your oc to be and think to yourself "what would I do (or how would I react, ) if I came across this type of person irl?" because to you this character might seem cool but if you look at it at a realistic standpoint they're probably a really horrible/ toxic person.
  • When you think about your oc's backstory I want you to think about your fandoms universe. What are the basic things that apply to this fandom? What is okay and reasonable enough to fit in this fandom? How would this tie into your fandoms lore? (this also really important because if your fandom is about a highschool anime and your oc is "the demon lord from hell" it wouldn't fit and it just disregards the structure of the anime.) I really want y'all the do some research on the fandom you're inserting your oc into, don't just go in blind.
  • Another thing would your oc's appearance, face claims are okay. I'm fine with that. But if you don't use face claims and your description of your oc is "black hair, yellow (left) and blue (right) eyes, scars everywhere, bandages everywhere" I'm going to assume your oc is an emo wannabe with an attention problem. Sorry not sorry, hehe~ 😜
  • Oh, another thing I want y'all to take into consideration is your oc's abilities. I really want you guys to know that it is okay if your oc is "normal". You don't have to give them the backstory of a broken king, you don't have to give them trauma and you don't have to make them "special". Your character is the mc for being themselves, they don't need all of that fancy stuff because even if they're bland they stand out against the original protagonist of the anime. You don't have to make them super edgy or super important because there's a thing called character development. The abilities your oc has (in my opinion at least) must start small. Then as the story continues and as the oc makes more important relationships between themselves and the people around them it gives them time to think about certain things in a new light and that pushes them to want to work hard. (1)
  • Let's say I have an oc named Oscar or something and they're an insert to the anime My Hero Academia. By me giving them the ability to see the future (please don't take any ideas from this istg) it also means they see the USJ attack and if they predict that very important plot point and inform the main characters about it that basically means that attack wouldn't happen the way it does in the anime. Now there are a lot of factors to be considered in this such as, lida doesn't run to get the pro heroes, All Might doesn't save class 1-A, and Izuku doesn't get the determination he gets to work more on OFA because he doesn't have to worry about All Might being pushed to his limit as severally as he does in canon. Please, I advise you to think about these things. (2)
  • Thank you for taking your time to read my whole post and let's hope I don't lose followers for this, these types of things need to be thought about and I feel like no one actually takes their time to and just throws whatever character they can come up with in a story. Um... Have a cool pic I guess...

    sal fisher - passing notes (chapter 2)

    summary: junior year comes to a close, your hopes to meet your soulmate dwindle as each day passes. with the rest of your friends having met theirs, don't you think it's time you've met yours?

    a/n: LOLL HIII chapter twooo is here i hope you enjoy (: more angst im sorry. maybe after this series ill write a fake dating au… Lol. the passing notes part starts now........

    warnings: NOT BETA READ or edited, curse words, angst, unrequited (?) feelings, secret writers, kind of a pity party from the reader, repetition (kind of)

    pairings: soulmates!sal fisher x reader, sal fisher x ashley campbell, (very light) ashley campbell x reader, todd morrison x neil, ashley campbell x undescribed soulmate

    word count: 5.1k! (:

    Your eyelids opened to the sound of your alarm, sun flooding your room into the early morning.

    Seeing color was beautiful.

    It was so much more than you had ever imagined, and each new color you saw just filled you with a warm feeling that consumed you.

    It changed your perspective on everything around you.

    Shifting onto your stomach, you peeled out the window, watching the sun slowly filter into your room.

    Sunsets were one of your favourites. They changed all the time, but every color in them seemed to capture your attention like no other.

    Seeing color was far better than whatever writing you had read describing a sunburn.

    Seeing yourself, the world around you, the clothes that rested in your closet for the first time in how they were supposed to be seen was everything you had hoped it would be and more.

    Your favourite color was blue, though.

    Your bed sheets that wrapped around your frame were a pale blue. The sneakers you had stuffed in the back of your closet were an excruciatingly bright blue that you were sure you were never gonna wear again and—

    His hair. His hair was blue.

    That had been the only thing you could focus on in the past days.

    How before you ran out, his hair was blue and it was in twin braids and how the rubber bands he used to tie them were pink and–

    How heartbroken you had been feeling for the past two weeks.

    Sunburns were supposed to be everything to a person. Was it even possible for a person to disregard it? Did he even feel your emotions as strongly as you felt his?

    Maybe he did with the way guilt crept up on you whenever that day crossed your mind.

    The last two weeks were hell. You hadn’t even shown up to school for two days, showing up the third day into the school week with a lame excuse about how you were sick.

    The next couple of days were then proceeded by avoiding each other, regardless of having the same class. Yet, even without Sal talking to you, you could feel his eyes on you whenever you were deep into thought.

    And when you looked back at Sal, it was as if he knew exactly what you were thinking (which if anything, he definitely did).

    It affected your relationship with everyone else, even if they hadn't fully noticed.

    You wouldn't hang out with Larry, the blue haired boy attached to the hip with him. And hanging out with Ashley was out of the question, no matter how much she meant to you.

    Sal had tried to talk to you once during the second week, but the feeling you gave him had him stunned with silence, that much you could tell. You couldn't even wait for his confidence to peak out like usual, deciding you had to distance yourself. After the attempt, it seemed he was hesitant on asking for your attention around other people.

    It was almost pathetic. Here you were crying over your best friend’s boyfriend while smiling in her face during last period. Pretending you were okay with her and Sal, forced laughter to come out to mask whatever envy you were feeling towards her.

    It wasn’t her fault, so why did you just wish for something bad to happen to them already?

    Ashley was a sweet girl, you had really met her in middle school after you had complimented her art skill during class. The way her cheeks flushed, a smile dazzling her face almost made your knees buckle. A quick, Thank you! That’s so sweet’, started what seemed to be a lifelong friendship.

    You couldn't blame her for choosing Sal, or vise-versa. It was hard not to fall for Ashley, you guessed. At some point, it seemed you had too.

    Glancing at your bedside, the time had already passed for you to start getting ready for classes. Pushing yourself up from the bed, you continued towards your bathroom to start the day.

    You picked up your toothbrush, watching yourself through the mirror as the bristles scraped your mouth.

    Were you just not enough?

    And even though deep down you knew Sal Fisher had never thought about you in a light other than pure kindness, you couldn't help but let it sink within you.

    It seemed it sunk within him too as within seconds of feeling your stomach churn with envy, it became guilt. Deep and heavy guilt. The kind of guilt that consumed your chest.

    It was a pattern that you would never get used to.

    He had tried to make amends, but you weren't ready. How were you even supposed to prepare for that conversation? What was he even going to say?

    Sal seemed to not mention anything to Ashley, both of them sat together whenever they got the chance. They laughed– he laughed, as if he hadn't taken your heart and completely stomped on it.

    At first, you had been angry. So angry that whenever you thought about your friend with the pretty blue hair and soft pink painted nails, your chest ached. It was an anger you insisted would last a lifetime, an anger to get you through the year without having to talk to Sal Fisher.

    Yet, a week passed and it had just turned into sadness. Rejection. Lost hope.

    During lunch you’d sit at the end of the table, silently eating your food, then getting up and spewing an excuse to get away from the table. ‘I have an English quiz to make up, or ‘Just going to do some studying for the final,’ seemed to convince everyone mostly as your figure would speed out of the lunchroom fifteen minutes into the lunch period.

    Throwing on a pair of run-down converse you had owned since freshman year, you glanced at yourself in the mirror before letting out a long sigh.

    It was going to get easier eventually, right?

    The trip to school was music filled and quiet, a polite thank you,’ to the bus driver was the only thing muttered within the ride. After walking from the stop to your school, you watched as cars filed into the lot from the entrance. Spotting Larry’s beaten car pulling into a lot, you quickly moved through the doors to reach homeroom.

    You had an inkling Larry knew what had transpired between you two. He and Sal were the closest, so it only made sense he would've been told about what transpired, yet– Larry said or made no move to let you know he knew. He acted as he always did around you, no mention about what had gone down between you and his best friend.

    Closing your locker after shoving your jacket inside, you continued your trek to homeroom as more students filled the hallways.

    You turned the corner where your class was, until you dragged into a small closet nearby the turn.

    As you let out a yelp of surprise, the lights clicked on and you should have guessed who was going to drag you into the janitor’s closet at 8:00 A.M.

    His bangs covered the top of his mask, a hand moving to push them away. You stared at him in silence as his fingers remained latched at your wrist.

    “We need to talk,” Sal’s eyes finally reached yours as he sighed. “Please.”

    Your stomach churned with anxiety, slowly moving your arm away from his grasp. Your eyes moved to your shoes as he waited for your response.

    What did he expect you to say? What were you supposed to say?

    Your breath hitched, “I– I have to get to class.”

    Sal took a step towards you, his fingers twisting the rings that rested around them.

    Please.” Fingers threaded through his hair as he pushed back his bangs again. “You're one of my best friends.”

    Best Friends.

    Your eyebrows furrowed as you felt his anxiety creep into your chest. Couldn’t even call you his soulmate. Maybe it was unfair of you to assume he would even label you as such, but the anger flaring in your chest ignored it.

    “Again,” You shook your head, starting to turn away from him. “I have class.”

    And with that you quickly sped off to the bathroom, tears brimming your eyes as you rushed into one of the stalls.

    This was gross and so small and you just wanted these feelings to go away.

    No guilt followed you this time, overwhelming sadness from both sides consumed you, tears flowing freely down your face as you sat in the empty bathroom.

    Was he even sorry? Was he going to say sorry? It was a jump to think he was, especially after what he had said to you two weeks before. Hope. Hope had a grasp on you that you couldn't shake, no matter how unlikely whatever you wished for to happen was.

    Besides that, you weren't ready. And you just had to hope that Sal understood that you weren't going to be ready to just be around him for a while.

    Avoiding him like a plague wasn’t a good idea on your side either, but what else could you do in moments when you looked at him and only saw the rejection?

    The bell to first period rang and being late had already been decided in your head as you exited the stall. Splashing water on your face, you wiped the drops quickly with the brown paper-towels stacked next to the sink. A deep sigh left you as you walked out of the bathroom, feet moving to first period as fast as you could without catching any attention.

    The day continued awfully, a lingering feeling of sadness mixed in with your now simmering numbness.

    You went through your classes in a daze, only to snap out of it as Todd approached you to head to lunch together. His words filtered through your ears, a smile forced onto your face whenever he made a quip about something that had annoyed him during class or a nod whenever you thought was appropriate.

    You barely remember the trip to the lunchroom as you sat next to Todd, who sat between you and Neil.

    Neil turned to you after greeting his boyfriend, a big grin adorning his face as he welcomed you.

    Larry was next to join you guys with a hand rustling your hair, a small smile appearing on your face afterwards. Chug and Maple soon entered after and sat at the other end of the table, greeting you all before becoming engrossed in a conversation between themselves. Ashley quickly gave you an excited kiss on the cheek as she rounded the table to greet everyone, then sitting to recount an exciting story in Literature.

    The last person to join the table was Sal, bag dropping as he sat across from you at the end of the table. His eyes met yours, small bouts of anxiousness filled your stomach as he stared at you from across the table. Your eyes didn't leave his figure as his fingers drummed the tabletop; Ashley’s story simmering to dull noise as you watched him.

    As fast as the moment had started, it ended just as quickly as Ashley bumped shoulders with Sal, ready to retell her story to him.

    You were going to be sick.

    You muttered a rushed excuse and quickly jumped out of your seat with your bag as your group of friends watched you practically run out of the lunchroom.

    Your feet moved at their own accord, not realizing where you were heading until you were practically jogging to the complete opposite end of the building.

    The library doors creaked as you pushed past them, body pulling through the shelves. Three other students, who sat at the tables that remained at the front of the room, stared as you rushed past the seats.

    You had only realized where you led yourself once you were seated on the ground, too overwhelmed to move at that point.

    Of course, it had to be here. Where else would you have gone? Yet, somehow sitting in the place where it all had started, where your saddest and angriest moments had gotten their root from, it felt like peace.

    Like for once, you could lean back and deal with whatever was running through your head, your heart.

    And as the bubbles of guilt from your counterpart continued to grow, you finally let yourself relax. Let the tears that needed to be shed, fall. Your back against an old, rickety bookshelf that had barely aligned with the one next to it, keeping you grounded.

    This was okay.

    Maybe okay was what you needed.

    As your hands wiped the stray tears, your small cries shortened to sniffles as the time for lunch ticked by slowly.

    You couldn't go back to the lunchroom like this god forbid, you show up to class like this.

    As your brain raced over how to avoid any of your friend looking a mess, shuffling between the shelves soon caught your attention.

    You watched quietly as corner-by-corner appeared and once all of it passed through the wooden shelves, a small folded piece of paper fell onto the ground.

    You crawled up to the gap between the shelves, only to be met with the fluorescent lights barely peeking through. Anything on the other side was barely visible to you.

    You called shakily, Hello?”

    A shush from the front of the library reached to the end of the shelves. Damn librarian.

    Nimble fingers picked up the note slowly, you mentally prepared for whatever the note was going to say.

    You braced yourself for shitty high school comedy, but was met with, ‘doing okay?’

    Shit. Maybe you were crying a little loud.

    Your eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the words, teeth pulling the skin at your lips trying to decipher whether or not this was some kind of joke.

    It couldn't have been, right? After you had stopped actually crying it had only appeared, so maybe, just maybe, there were some sweet people at your school.

    You unzipped your backpack to grab a pen, yet once uncapped and positioned at the page your stomach reeled with worry.

    Who was this? Was this one of your friends? Someone making fun of you? Someone who possibly just was nice?

    Maybe it was a leap to take a chance on the latter, but you were going to do it. Scribbling a quick, not very well ): what about you?’ you folded the page back and slid it between the crevice.

    The page barely spent more than two minutes on the other side before popping up on your side of the ground. You quickly moved to grab it to see how likely your suspicions were, only to be met with an actual response.

    ‘could be better. friend group drama. are you ready for summer?’

    Your eyes looked suspiciously onto the page as you read through the polite words, attempting to find anything that trailed slightly with malice.

    Your lips tilted upwards as you scribbled your response, ‘that sucks ): I'm not sure what grade you’re in but i’m excited for the senior reading list if that isn't too dorky!!!’

    You shoved the folded paper through again, already preparing for a quick reply unlike yours had been.

    Once the paper filtered back through, you quickly read through the words, a small smile on your face as you held back a chuckle.

    ‘definitely dorky, but english isn't a favorite of mine…’

    You scribbled, what are you? some kind of math nerd?’ And sent the paper back with a smile.

    The last rotation between you two had almost sent you into a fit of giggles, but the fear of being thrown out by the librarian far outweighed finding anything humorous. His note came back with something along the lines of embarrassingly agreeing and a farewell and you continued to sit there as the next bell rang.

    You let out a sigh, one deep and buried in your chest, and relaxed your shoulders as you prepared to get up for class.

    You could get through this.

    As the summer season dawned onto your little town, classes breezed by as final exams were given during the last weeks of school.

    With a week left, you realized how shittily this school year had ended; yet you had things to look forward to.

    Senior year was only months away, college just out of your reach. You were turning eighteen soon and could do whatever your heart desired legally now. And had made a friend, even if you didn't know who they were.

    The notes were inconsistent, but letters between the two of you became common after you both hadn't been at the library at the same time again. Pages tucked between shelves in the back row of the library were traded between you two, at different times and different days.

    The letters assorted from talking about shows and movies, to comforting one another without having to talk about what was bothering either of you.

    Your soulmate situation felt personal and you knew once any of your friends found out about it, they’d dig you until you spilled something you couldn't handle talking about yet. It's not that you didn't trust them, it was just a messy situation you didn't want to bring up so late into the year.

    But with the letters, you didn't have to give an explanation for your feelings– a simple, ‘friend stuff ):’ sufficed and your letter-writing-counterpart understood fully.

    Your friend stuff” situation had been hard to avoid, especially since you were all friends, but the excuse of working for college and programs for senior year seemed to work pretty well when avoiding Sal.

    It was hard to be around Ashley too. Wherever she was, the rest of the group was, including him. You didn't want to seem like you were avoiding her, but it was hard when you couldn't not think of the blue-haired boy around her.

    Your eyes flickered to the clock as you refocused on class, second to last period before art with Larry and Ash. Your teacher had been silent for the most part, study hall wasn't as special as Literature or Physics, which was honestly good. The bell rang no later than five minutes after, and you stood with the rest of the teenagers in your classroom to rush to the last period.

    On your way there, you turned your head to meet Ashley’s smile as her arm looped with yours.

    Ashley tilted her head, “We’re still up for shopping today, right?”

    You glanced away from her stare as she tugged you closer to herself, bodies practically mushed as you headed to Art. She was hard to say no to, especially when you knew she didn't deserve your avoidance like you had the past weeks.

    “I just feel like we haven't seen each other outside of school in forever,” Ashley met your eyes, her smile softening. “I miss you. Neil and I have been forever waiting to do this.”

    You returned a smile at her, even if it wasn't as bright and nodded. This was the least you could do.

    You glanced away hesitantly, “Yeah, no worries. I’ll be there, dude.”

    The two of you entered Art, bee-lining straight to your table with Larry, who let out a shout of your names as you crossed the room.

    Art class continued how it always did, Larry poking fun at you and jokingly snide comments back at him, even Ashley cracking a joke about both of you in the midst of it. As the bell rang signaling school was over, you rushed out a quick, Meet me at the doors in like, five minutes!’ Before running off into the direction of the library.

    Ashley watched you dart of the classroom, turning to Larry with an eyebrow raised. He let a small smile take over his face and shook his head.

    “No clue, dudette. No fuckin’ clue.”

    You slowed your pace as you reached the doors, keeping your head down as you walked past the librarian’s desk. You slid past a couple of other students to reach the back row, excitement bubbling in your stomach as you reached towards the new letter.

    Between the shelves rested yellow notepad pages, folded and staples together. You bent down to reach for them, lips curling into a smile already as you unfolded the paper.

    Hello, library Weirdo,

    I took your advice and tried dipping fries into my milkshakes. You’re so gross but….. it was really good.

    This weekend I'll hopefully get to hang out with my friend during the summer. (the one i wasn't really talking to anymore.) Still no luck with them. No courage really built up, all of it is kinda rough.

    Since the school is closing and the library is remaining open, do you want to trade letters still? We can trade every other day or something (:

    Did you hear about Ghostbusters 2?? It comes out next week. Might see it with friends for laughs

    The letter continued, but you pushed it into your backpack realizing you had been standing there wasting time. Zipping your bag back up, you headed towards the front where hopefully Ashley and Neil were waiting for you.

    With a skip in your step, you reached the entrance of the school, where the two had been leaning on lockers waiting for your arrival.

    You waved at them, “Sorry, there was a book I had to pick up at the library.”

    Ashley nodded, pushing herself off the locker to reach for your hand. Once she did, she intertwined your fingers and nodded at Neil.

    Ashley started, “How was your day? Can’t believe they're making us do summer work, especially English. Like I wanna write an essay before…”

    Her words faded into the background as nervousness hit your stomach, but not from you.

    Your eyes scanned the lot as the three of you reached Neil’s car, eyes finally focusing on his blue hair.

    Sal’s body faced towards Neil’s car, but from the distance you could barely tell who he was staring at.

    It didn't really matter who he was staring at. It mattered that he was feeling anxious. Did he think you were going to say something to Ashley? And risk your friendship with her for something he should've told her.

    You quickly looked away from him, and hopped into the car as the rest of your tiny group did. You’d deal with that another time, right now was supposed to be fun.

    Neil drove for around half an hour before you all reached the mall, Ashley whooping as he pulled into the car lot. Immediately once you stepped out, Neil pulled you into a tight hug with a smile so bright on his face, you could only give him one in return.

    You turned to them as you started walking towards the huge building, “So? What are you guys getting today?”

    Ashley shrugged, “Clothes. Shit. Shit and clothes.”

    You bursted into a smile at her response before nodding at Neil to go.

    “I don't know,” Neil bit his lip in thought. “Maybe something for Todd. He was talking about getting a new hoodie soon.”

    You nodded as the cold air of the mall hit you, the lights of the mall burning into your eyes as you walked around.

    You had all decided to go clothing shopping for Ashley first since she knew exactly where she wanted to go and was already jumping at getting a new dress for, some boring dinner with family.

    You and Neil stood back as she raked through the racks, pieces of clothes already building up on her arm. Ashley would bring up shirts and sweaters to your neck, smiling as you’d scrunch your nose at them.

    Neil picked up the skirt of the dress, “You’d look really good in this one, Ash.”

    You hummed in agreement, “Yeah, you look really pretty in green.”

    Immediately as the words left your mouth, your chest closed up as the two turned sharply to you.

    Ashley jumped at you, grasping your forearms, What?!”

    Neil smiled, “You met your soulmate?”

    Ashley’s bottom lip jutted out, “And didn't tell us?!”

    You frown deepened as they stared at you expectantly.

    What were you going to say to them? That Sal Fisher had been your soulmate and chose his girlfriend of three months over you, who just so happened to be both your best friend. Who was staring at you excitedly, awaiting for whoever you’d been so expectant for.

    They realized after a moment of silence that the grimace on your face just worsened as your thoughts began spiraling.

    Ashley tilted her head, “So?”

    “We uh–” You cleared your throat, “He doesn’t want to be with me.”

    It was almost comical how fast their faces dropped.

    Ashley went in to give you a hug and Neil put a hand at your shoulder before you forced yourself to give them a smile.

    You glanced at them, “It’s okay. I’ll be okay.”

    “You’ve just been waiting for so long, I’m sorry.” Ashley then put her head on your shoulder as she proceeded the hug.

    Neil wrapped his arms around you both, the three of you an awkward tangle of limbs in the center of the store. A sigh left your lips as you raised your arms to hug them both, but it was more like grasping their arms from beneath them.

    You laughed, “Okay, okay, get off you two. Gross mushiness.

    Ashley turned back to the racks before speaking again, “Did you know that Sal and I aren’t soulmates?”

    You deserved an Oscar at how well you feigned shock.

    Your mouth gaped, “Really?”

    She nodded, then giggled as she thought about her next words.

    “Mhm,” Ashley then turned to the two of you. “I met my soulmate when I was younger on a family trip, but never saw her again after.”

    Neil went to put away some of the dresses Ashley had declined, “Did you ever get a name?”

    Ashley shrugged, “A first name, but who knows where she could be by now, y’know?”

    The conversation shifted to a lighter topic, but the only thing you could feel was anxiety and guilt from Sal. Of course, in your moment of sadness and nervousness of admitting the truth of your soulmate to your friends, he had caught onto whatever you were feeling.

    Feeling his emotions sometimes was everything you wanted and everything you envied. Whenever Sal felt happy, you couldn't help but get a warm feeling in your chest. He was your soulmate and regardless of what he had done, a huge part of you would always feel attached to him. Yet it brought another wave of sadness as you realized he would never feel that way with you.

    You would never feel him feel that way with you.

    As you continued your mall trip, the three of you had bought only a scarce amount of items, but we're satisfied with what you brought out.

    You turned to Neil as he unlocked his car door, “Hey, you mind dropping me off at the apartments? I promised Todd I'd visit sometime this week.”

    Neil entered the car, “Totally, was gonna head there too.”

    Ashley glanced at the two of you from the backseat, Wow… Makin’ plans without me in my face!”

    The three of you giggled as Neil pulled out the lot, and onto the road to drop Ashley off first.

    The ride was practically the same and quick goodbyes were shared as Ashley ran into her house with a wide wave of her hand.

    As you watched her front door close, you placed your hand on Neil’s before he could pull out of park.

    “You don't..” You glanced away, “You don't mind keeping this shit between us?”

    Neil’s face became serious, and he nodded.

    “Yeah, sure. Lips sealed.”

    You let out a breath, nodding back at him.

    You looked back at Neil, “I just don't want Todd to worry. He worries and then digs and makes it his as well. He shouldn't have to deal with my problems.”

    Without saying anything, he pulled from the street and drove towards Todd’s home.

    The radio filled the silence, the only comments muttered between you two were small nips and jokes as you drove past people.

    Was it wrong of you to ask him to do that for you? Todd was his soulmate, but this was your problem. It wasn't like you didn't trust Todd, you trusted him with your life. He had enough on his plate with all the weird stuff happening around town.

    Neil parked the car down the street from the building, a quick walk to it, then up the elevator to Todd’s apartment.

    You knocked on the door, feet rocking as Todd’s mom opened the door for the two of you.

    She immediately raised a hand to pinch your cheek, a lazy smile rising to her face and she waved you both in.

    Neil said his hellos and a quick greeting from you trailed in the air as you rushed to their bathroom.

    Once the door closed behind you, your face turned into a a deep frown.

    That slip up was big.

    It wasn't like Sal had asked you to keep this a secret, but there was no way you couldn't feel like it because of the situation. They hadn't even pushed either, which made your worry simmer a bit more.

    You had nothing to worry about. This was between you, Ashley, and Neil. They were two of the most trustworthy you knew, they would keep it to themselves.

    Throwing water onto your face, you wiped the drops with your sleeve and exited the bathroom.

    As you pushed open Todd’s bedroom door, quiet mumbles soon completely died out as soon as you stepped in the room.

    Todd turned from Neil, “You've met your soulmate?”

    You looked past him, eyes widening as your shoulders dropped.

    “You said you wouldn't say anything.”

    Neil looked sheepishly between the two of you, a guilty smile from his face.

    “I couldn't help it! He practically felt I was lying-”

    “It wasn't that hard to tell something had been bothering you to begin with.”

    Your frown lightened as Todd spoke up again. Ever so attentive.

    You sighed, “I’m sorry I didn't say anything. I didn't want you to worry. My soulmate and I aren't speaking or together, that's it.”

    Todd’s lips turned into a soft frown, “You didn't have anything to apologize for.”

    You nodded as you walked slowly to his desk.

    Giving him a smile, you leaned onto the desk next to his computer table.

    “What’cha working on, Nerd?”

    Todd rolled his eyes as Neil let out a huff of laughter, and he turned to the screen to explain a bit of the research he was working on.

    a/n: requests are open!!! tell me if u liked this chapter pleaseee and i swear things will get better for the reader



    This way people can see they’re not alone. I have them and this would help me see that.


    I have some on my waist and from the angle they’re at they almost look like claw mark and I fuckin love them bc like what monstrous creature did I fight??? I mean I clearly won, but how??? I wanna know why I cant remember


    i have them on my arms, legs, belly, and chest


    i have some on my thighs, stomach, and back