My waistline is disappearing faster than my excuses not to go to the gym.

No way you’d catch me lounging in a beach chair today. I’d be far too embarrassed of my pale, blubbery doughball belly, my fat arms and my back rolls that are now starting to creep under my tits.

At first sight of some slender girl half my weight, I’d have no choice but to run blushing up to my hotel room and hide under piles of room service and delivery.