Fort Badass Unicorns

Rising from the depths of the college dorm blanket fort of an anthropology major with far too much time and a plan for world domination.

Blinger. Taemint. Closet MVP.

Last update
2020-10-29 03:54:04

    so Rumspringa is the time in an Amish person’s life as a teen/young adult when they are encouraged to experiment with non-Amish stuff and I know in shows and movies it’s all like sex and drugs, but in real life it’s usually like learning to drive & going to movie theatres & like playing video games. Anyway my hometown is surrounded by a lot of amish communities so I know a lot of Amish ppl and it’s pretty normal to talk to someone who’s in rumspringa so whatever. Usually they wear non Amish clothing etc.

    But last fall while I was in town I went to petco and while I was outside waiting for my friends to check out I saw an Amish girl who Had to be just getting into Rumspringa still in her Amish dress, bonnet, shoes, etc., walk up to some guys vaping outside the store and with the utmost confidence say “hey can I do that,”

    And they were so mystified they were just like “uh. Yes. Absolutely.” And she hit their vape and looked super considerate for a moment and then said “hm. Nah. Thanks” and walked away.

    I think about this a lot. The confidence. The resolution.


    the alternative is she was NOT in rumspringa hence her dress and was just Ike “you know what. I wanna see what vaping’s all about.” Equally good.


    Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam


    I’d also like to point out that my sister has a really hard time staying present (I can’t remember the term because we’ve always called it Tethered at my house) and whenever she’s feeling Untethered my mom has her knead bread and make syrup because they’re repetitive and easy things to do that ground her


    Now that I’m thinking about it- my brother has days where he doesn’t talk and doesn’t eat unless he’s prompted, and on those days my mom sits him down in the fish pond in the backyard and plays Mozart and because he’s so used to that being his wake up he always comes back in after like an hour rambling about random things


    Oh yeah and when it rains my mom has a required hour where we all have to go outside and run around and whoever finds the most worms for the garden wins and then we go inside and my mom makes us tea and we watch Studio Ghibli movies


    Wait!!! When one of us has a bad day at school we make a fire in the backyard and roast homemade sausages and my mom tells us stories until we laugh and then she tucks is in bed like we’re five again and sings us songs


    Uh.... wait guys is my mom a witch raising a bunch of fae kids hold on-


    your mom is very definitely a witch raising a bunch of fae kids, please tell her i love her in the abstract way one can love a complete stranger.


    The dude is trying to sabotage his wife’s career when he’s such an asshole he can’t get a job because he causes issues with multiple potential employers. The dude is letting his jealousy turn him into a man child.

     The comments show why women need feminism.


    Ok dude is obviously the asshole but the comments? This is why I seek out other women, especially feminists, to talk about women’s rights with. I didn’t know how much control men had over their wives’ accounts and finances, even into the 90’s and apparently, according to one comment, NOW. We should teach this to our children. This is some handmaid’s tale shit, we need to make sure this isn’t forgotten.

    It’s like when making Hocus Pocus they told Bette Midler “this is camp just do whatever the fuck you want,” they told Sarah Jessica Parker that she could either drop acid or do a line of coke before every take but she had to do one, they told Kathy Najimy that her character is just an evil golden retriever, and then they told all the actors playing the kids that this was a very serious horror movie and if they didnt take all of this seriously they’d be in trouble


    Poland just made it legal to torture women.

    abortion law in Poland was already the strictest in Europe, abortion was allowed in only 3 cases:

    • if the pregnancy was a result of rape or incest
    • if the mother's health was at risk
    • in case of foetal defects.

    another problem is that there is something called "conscience clause" among Polish doctors which means that they can deny a patient certain treatment if it's against their conscience or beliefs (yes, it mostly applies to conservative, catholic doctors). some doctors went as far as not telling women about foetal defects until it was too late to terminate pregnancy. what's more, abortion in case of rape happens very rarely, since it's difficult to prove rape in the eyes of Polish law.

    in 2019, only 1100 legal abortions took place in Poland, a country populated by 38 milion people. 98% of these abortions happened because of foetal defects.

    on October 22nd 2020, Poland's top court ruled abortion due to foetal defects inconstitional, basically making abortion illegal.

    Polish women will be forced to give birth to children with basically no chance to live. they will be tortured physically and mentally. rich women will be able to visit neighbouring countries to have abortion there but there are plenty of women who will have unsafe, illegal abortions, endangering their lives.

    there are protests happening all over the country. not for the first time though, we've been protesting abortion ban for few years now. there's a sense of solidarity among us but the truth is, we're afraid.

    this is how catholic extremism looks like. Poland is becoming a real-life Gilead and it's fucking terrifying.


    Any Polish woman who has to go through this is free to come to Hungary and I'll escort them anywhere there's help for them!


    finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

    like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you



    humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

    evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 


    Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

  • Periods
  • Bad backs
  • Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
  • Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
  • Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
  • Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
  • Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing
  • durzio

    •Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

    •Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

    •Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

    •knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.