@homebrewr28
Homebrewr

40 something year old male that's into BDSM kink.

Posts
14
Last update
2022-04-27 01:16:53
    femdomfemme

    Giving Aftercare to Doms

    I’ve seen a lot of writing on aftercare for subs, but never seen anything about Dom drop or the kind of aftercare that D-types need. Consequently, many people assume that aftercare is only necessary for subs, and many people don’t know what kind of aftercare to ask for or provide.

    It’s natural to feel guilty when you’re inflicting pain or cruelty to someone you care about. And like with everybody, a lack of adequate aftercare can be discouraging or even dangerous. Here’s some aftercare talking points I tend to like hearing from my subs that you can use as jumping off points:

  • Reassure your Dom that everything they said and did during the scene was wanted and consensual. Go over and discuss anything that ended up being less than pleasurable or any sore spots that they hit if not.
  • If the scene went smoothly, reassure them that you are capable of saying no and/or using your safe word. Reassure them that despite roleplaying a loss of control, you know that you still were able to consent during your scene.
  • Reassure your Dom that you aren’t actually scared of them; and reassure them that you don’t feel like you’re being taken advantage of, nor do you think that they will.
  • Reassure your Dom that you trust them, you know that they are a responsible dominant, and that you don’t feel afraid that they will abuse their power over you.
  • Reassure your Dom that they are a good person, and that they are not evil or bad for exercising restrained and consensual cruelty during a scene.
  • Reassure your Dom that they don’t need to feel guilty for enjoying themselves when they are dominant with you, and that you enjoy your scenes with them as much as they do.
  • And some other things to keep in mind regarding aftercare as a whole....

  • Make sure you end the conversation/evening properly. Even if the Dom doesn’t experience Dom drop immediately, it’s very easy for Doms to feel used or like pleasure machines if they feel like they’ve been left hanging.
  • ^^ Especially if you’re sexting or doing BDSM long distance! Do not stop responding without giving closure and reassuring your Dom that you’re okay! If you disappear without saying anything, it’s very possible that your Dom will get anxious and worry that they’ve upset or hurt you.
  • Check in later. Aftercare doesn’t always have to take place immediately after a scene, especially if they felt like they didn’t need much aftercare afterwards or you’ve had an informal scene and decided to skip it. Dom drop can still settle in a while after a scene has ended, so don’t ever assume you’re automatically on the same page and that care won’t be needed.
  • Make sure to always offer regardless. Nobody should ever have to ask for aftercare! Don’t assume that your Dom is okay and needs nothing just because they’re in control during your scenes.
  • And finally, Doms: don’t be afraid to ask for reassurance on the specific points you worry about! Subs can’t read your mind, and they can’t always know if the aftercare they’re giving is enough unless you tell them. You will not lose your submissive’s respect by asking for aftercare as long if they are committed to engaging in conscientious kink.

    Stay safe, take care of each other, and practice kink responsibly! ♡

    femdomfemme

    Another quick addition: accept aftercare and check ins when it’s offered to you. You may be tempted to brush off your Dom and explain that you don’t need them to give you so much reassurance or to check in so frequently, and you might even feel like your Dom doesn’t trust you to speak up to set boundaries if they do it too often. Either way, don’t shut these check-ins down. Active consent goes both way and isn’t just for the sub’s reassurance and communication, it’s also a big part of preventing dom drop in the middle of a scene by making sure that your Dom doesn’t feel like they’re taking things too far.

    Kink tumblr etiquette:

    Because there's a lot of fresh faces on this blog and some people aren't getting this.

  • Consent is mandatory. If you interact with someone's post and they tell you you've made them uncomfortable, oblige them and remove yourself from the situation, take down your post, unfollow them, etc. Your kink is not above someone else's comfort. Follow up: if you see "men DNI" or "women DNI", etc. clearly listed and you belong to said group, do not fucking interact
  • Put your age in your bio. I don't know how many times you people have to see that before you do it. If you are not forthcoming with your age, you do not get to interact with adult content. People can't consent to you if you don't say how old you are. If you're actually a minor, leave. You're endangering people by being here.
  • Do not impose your kinks on someone else's post. Especially on non-sexualized posts and ESPECIALLY if you do not know them.
  • Do not send unsolicited sexual messages. Especially with people who you have never interacted with before. It's creepy. And with people you do know? It still needs to be solicited, bucko. Ask them first.
  • Treat online kink like you would treat kink in person. If you ignore consent, boundaries, and comfort in a real kink community, you are no longer welcome in that community.
  • If it says don't reblog, don't reblog. Respect people's privacy.
  • Am I missing anything major? I might keep this updated.

    playfully-sadistic

    DO NOT INJURE THE SPINE OR KIDNEYS! Impact play should never ever take place in those areas!!

    Educate yourself, folks! It’s a shame how many fake doms are out there, claiming they’re such good doms when in reality they put their subs in immense danger.

    partlycontrolledbeast

    Indeed! Of course, not knowing stuff doesn’t make you a fake Dom, it just makes you ignorant (I use the word in its literal sense, without judgement) and inexperienced; everyone has to start somewhere. But claiming greatness when you’re putting a sub’s life in danger does. It may be easy for me to say this as a switch, but honestly, if you’re starting out, consider getting someone you can trust to show you the ropes, so to speak, and of course read around online (stuff like this) as much as possible. We’re in 2018 now; anybody can be ignorant, but continued ongoing ignorance is a willful choice. It might go without saying (but won’t, because I’m going to say it), that if you’re doing anything with all but the very lightest and gentlest of BDSM, you should have respectable first aid skills also.

    A few additional things that can easily kill or at least severely injure a sub:

    Any kind of tie that tightens itself, and many that don’t. This includes places other than the throat, and definitely includes thigh ties that necessarily cross the femoral artery.

    You can still do them! But keep close watch for signs of swelling and/or discolouration, and be ready to quick-release (knives are sexy, but not the best tools for cutting rope in an emergency, you want shears) and gently massage. Aspirin will also help (beyond its analgesic properties, it is a blood thinner and will reduce clotting; don’t mix it with blood play, though, or it’ll look like Quentin Tarantino directed an episode of Dexter in your bedroom).

    Anything that leaves somebody suspended upside-down for more than a short while. Time to death varies widely based on individual and circumstantial specifics. Cause of death is generally brain haemorrhaging.

    If you’re going to do that sort of thing, go to rigging classes, learn from an expert, and know your partner’s limits well. Start small and work up. As with all bondage, but especially this, do not leave the sub unattended. That works only in porn, not in reality. 

    Bloodplay

    If you’re going to do this, you need to know anatomy well. There’s a difference between looking like an Anne Rice scene (trickle of blood over skin) and looking like a Japanese dolphin slaughter (blood everywhere, on everything, and a lot of hot wet red death), and that difference is measured in millimetres.

    CBT (Cock and Ball Torture, not Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)

    On a related note, watch what you’re doing there too. While everyone’s focussed on the nerves available here, do remember there’s some pretty major plumbing here as well, and if everything’s going well, it’s going to be under very high pressure. You can cause a lot of (harmless) pain without causing injury if you respect both anatomy and physics.

    Hair-grabbing

    Wait, what? This is basically vanilla pseudo-kink fluff, right? Well, it can be, but just watch out for one thing; grabbing a handful of hair and yanking powerfully aside can snap someone’s neck, or at least severely injure it. Unlike in movies, even a broken neck is generally not an instant kill (because the spinal cord is actually quite robust, so if it wasn’t severed by bone cutting through it—as in certain intentional neck-break techniques—then life will go on), but your sub will probably be wearing the wrong sort of collar for a very long time, and/or could be paralysed. So by all means grab, and by all means pull, but don’t yank suddenly.

    beautyinthekink

    So very important! Be safe be informed!

    daddydomdisaster

    Words of Wisdom. ♥

    thejazzdaddy

    Obligatory safety post cuz some of y'all aren’t wising up

    scratchmeowt

    I see SO MANY pics and gifs of clear marks to the spine and kidneys. even people who come across on tumblr as “experienced” doms do this. DO NOT EVER EVER EVER HIT PEOPLE IN THE SPINE OR KIDNEYS PLEASE!

    Kinky Would You Rathers

  • Would you rather be given an enema or have a urethral sound used on you?
  • Would you rather give oral while being fucked or receive oral while being whipped?
  • (Female) Would you rather sleep with a vibrator in both holes or with nipple clamps suspended the the ceiling so you can’t roll over?
  • (Male) Would you rather sleep with a vibrator in your ass and a vibrating cock ring on or with nipple clamps suspended the the ceiling so you can’t roll over?
  • Would you rather be bent over and fucked or pushed against a wall and fucked?
  • Would you rather be fucked by five people continually all night or be denied any sexual action for a month?
  • (Female) Would you rather use a dildo or your fingers to give yourself an orgasm?
  • (Male) Would you rather use a pocket pussy or your hands to make yourself cum?
  • Would you rather wear a diaper or have to ask to go to the bathroom every time?
  • Would you rather have anal beads or nipple clamps used on you?
  • Have your partner tease you all over your body with hot wax or ice cubes?
  • Would you rather only ever have sex in a bed or only be able to have sex anywhere but a bed?
  • Would you rather sleep in a cage or chained to the side of a bed.
  • Would you rather never give oral again or never receive oral again?
  • Would you rather spend a day sat on a fat dildo or a day in suspension?
  • Would you rather be blindfolded or gagged?
  • Would you rather wear nipple clamps or clamps on the tip of your cock? 
  • Would you rather wear nipple clamps or a clamp on your clit?
  • Would you rather be hit a few times with a cane or lots of times with a paddle?
  • Would you rather be put in predicament bondage for an hour or light bondage for 5?
  • Would you rather be edged ten times or have two ruined orgasms?
  • Would you rather spend the day with a large almost painful plug in your ass or two with a small one that you have to edge yourself with every time you use the restroom?
  • (Males) Would you rather be led around on a leash connected to a locking butt-plug or to a cock and ball ring?
  • (Females) Would you rather be led around on a leash connected to a locking butt-plug or to a clover clamp on your clit
  • Would you rather have two cocks up your ass or one in your ass and one in your mouth?
  • Would you rather be milked dry then given a dry orgasm or be allowed two ruined ones? 
  • Would you rather be denied an orgasm or be given so many it hurts?
  • (Male) Would you rather wear a cock ring and a vibrating buttplug for an hour without being allowed to cum, or a cock ring and large, long buttplug that stroked your prostate for an hour without being allowed to cum?
  • (Female) Would you rather have a butt plug and a dildo inserted for a 3 hours without being able to cum or vibrating ones in for an hour without being able to cum?
  • Would you rather wear a breast harness or a crotch rope?
  • Would you rather have a small soapy enema or a large plain one?
  • Would you rather have ginger placed in your ass or tiger balm on your gentiles?
  • (Female) Would you rather be hit on your anus or your clit?
  • Would you rather be zapped with a wand or touched with stinging nettles?
  • Would you rather spit or swallow cum?
  • (Male) Would you rather have your balls stretched or crushed?
  • Would you rather be made to wear ballet heels all the time or to crawl all the time?
  • postitforward

    Holiday Blues with Tumblr

    Feeling down? Dreading the short days and long nights? Well, this holiday season, Tumblr is here to help you conquer your Sunday Scaries all week long!

    We’ve partnered with amazing yogis, wellness brands, and mental health enthusiasts to bring you Holiday Blues with Tumblr. With a huge shift in the weather, hours of daylight, seasonal affective disorder season, and whatever else the world is throwing at us this week (🐝Murder Hornets just entered the group chat), we want to empower you to participate in some transformational acts of self-care 🤗.

    Don’t worry, we know ‘self-care’ can feel like a chore, not to mention another dent in the bank account. That’s why Tumblr wants to meet you where you are—on your dash.

    How does it work, you ask?

    EASY! PEASY! LEMON 🍋 SQUEEZY! All we need from you is to show up; we’ll take it from there! Over the next six weeks, Tumblr and our partners will host LIVE classes: fitness classes, mindfulness exercises, interactive quizzes, playlists, and maybe even a dance party.

    What if you miss class?

    NO STRESS!! We’ve thought of it all. If you can’t make it to the live class (you will be sorely missed), each class will be available here on Post It Forward or on our Youtube channel.

    Get to the point! When is the FUN?

    Hold your horses — starting November 22nd until January 2nd, here’s what you have to look forward to:

    Mindful Mondays📿

    LIVE morning meditations run by some cool folx

    Wellness Wednesdays 💗

    Mood-boosting tips, tricks & playlists 

    Flex Fridays💪

    LIVE CLASSES and all the yoga 🧘 your heart could desire. All levels welcome—Yoga is for everybody and EVERY BODY

    Self-Care Sundays💆

    Think expressive writing meets self-discovery … with a dash of Dance Dance Revolution. And did we mention, its LIVE?

    ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️

    We will also have reminders for each class…. we told you WE GOT YOU!

    Calm your mind with Mindful Monday on 11/22 (add to your calendar)

    Break a sweat with Flex Friday on 11/26 (add to your calendar)

    Pamper yourself with Self-Care Sunday on 11/28 (add to your calendar)

    A Few Gentle Reminders:

  • Make the time for yourself if you think it might make you feel better 🤗.
  • Showing up is the hardest part. You take care of that and we will take care of the rest.
  • This is meant to be fun (and we want to make sure you do JUST THAT here on Tumblr).
  • This is YOUR JOURNEY, so do it your way! Take the classes that make you feel good. Come to the live sessions, or just catch them later. Show up to every class, or do the same class every day for the next six weeks. You do you, boo boo.
  • One LAST thing:

    LIKE, SHARE, and BE THERE!

    We need your help to spread positive vibes as we conquer the Holiday Blues. Use the tag #HolidayBluesWithTumblr to share reflections from Mindful Monday , a sweaty selfie from Flex Friday, or anything that comes up for you after a Self-Care Sunday session.

    staff

    Mark your calendars!

    Hello miss Alexis 💕

    First off, I love your content - second, I was wondering about a post you made, a few days ago, about fake mistresses taking monetary advantage of unknowing boys, as my self, and I was wondering, is there a way to tell the good ones from the bad?

    I reblogged a post about a week ago and since then I've been contacted by maybe ten different mistresses, and some of them I could figure out myself, but some of them seem pretty serious, all of them, however, have asked for a "commitment fee" or an "enrollment fee" for their school of sissyfication. I just wanna make sure that I don't get fooled, cause I really wanna try the sissyfication/feminization out, with a real mistress ♥️

    I hope you have a good day, and I look forward to hearing from you miss ♥️

    Here was my response....

    Ok.... if you are serious here are some pointers...

    1. This is a relationship... You need to actually know one another, truly know one another before you pledge yourself.

    2. A submissive holds all the power and don't let anyone tell you anything different... if you don't submit a Dominant has zero power.

    3. Anyone who immediately addreses you by Slut, Slave etc etc run don't walk.... they know nothing about you.... see yourself as worth more than name calling.

    4. No true Domme/Mistress ever wants money, we are strong independent women who don't need to be supported.

    5. If they give you any demand of any kind without you asking for it... they are an abuser.

    6. Ask questions lots and lots questions

    What will you do for me?

    How will you do it?

    What do you give to me?

    How will you care for me?

    What is after care? ...(this is non negotiable if you don't know what it is Google it)

    If I am emotionally in a bad place how will you care for me?

    Do your homework discover what these relationships truly are.

    I wish you luck.

    A Domme Submissive relationship is truly the most amazing relationship you can ever experience. Don't throw it away on someone who isn't worthy.

    desires-of-a-dominant-man

    BDSM Links And Resources

    I thought I would update the list of BDSM links and resources I posted a while ago, as some links were no longer working and I had several new ones to add, including a list of books. These should be particularly helpful to those who are new to BDSM and looking to explore D/s relationships, as the best way to go about that is to first read everything you can and then read even more! Not only will this allow you to educate yourself, help keep you safe and avoid any potential mistakes or regrets, but also the more you understand something, the less intimidating it will seem.

    If you have anything to add, please don’t hesitate to let me know and I will update this list, in particular if there any books that a submissive might find helpful or informative, as most of the books I have read or included are intended for Dominants.

    Note: For the sake of consistency and readability, I have used capitals throughout this document and have not used lower case when referring to submissives or slaves.

    Websites:

  • Babygirls ‘n’ Daddy Doms: Website dedicated to littles, babygirls and Daddy Doms, with a lot of useful information on the subject.
  • Collarme: A free BDSM dating website and community, that is probably the most popular and a better option than the commercial alternatives.
  • DS Arts: Academy of DS Arts, fairly self explanatory.
  • Evil Monk: Ambrosio’s BDSM Website, featuring many useful articles.
  • Fetlife: An online BDSM community that I would highly recommend and which is perhaps best described as Facebook for the kinky, allowing users to create a profile, publish photos or writing and join interest groups where you can ask questions.
  • Kink Academy: An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.
  • Submissive Guide: As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.
  • The Iron Gate: A general BDSM online resource, with many aticles, essays and even stories on the subject.
  • Dating and Relationships:

  • 10 Principles For Healthy 24/7 D/s And M/s (Source: sexgeek.wordpress.com)
  • Difference of Dynamics in BDSM (Source: the-little-kitten.tumblr.com)
  • Finding Your Dominant (Source: asubmissivesjourney.com)
  • How To Find A Partner (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
  • Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
  • Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
  • Initiating a Discussion About BDSM Interest with a Vanilla Partner Part 3 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
  • So You Want Your Boyfriend To Dominate You (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
  • So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate Her (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
  • The Unfortunate But Common Misconceptions About DD/lg Relationships (Source: a-lolitas-life.tumblr.com)
  • Play:

  • Consent Is Mandatory And Non-Negotiable (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
  • Food Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
  • How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive (Source: domwithpen.tumblr.com)
  • Initial Steps Into Orgasm on Command Training (Source: submissiveguide.com)
  • Rules and Tasks for Building Confidence (Source: themostdangerousplaything.tumblr.com)
  • Tools of Consent in BDSM (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Training in D/s - Why? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
  • Training in D/s - How? (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
  • Training in D/s - Thoughts And Concerns (Source: her-master.tumblr.com)
  • Wax Play (Source: bdsmsadomasochism.tumblr.com)
  • Safety:

  • Basics Of Safe, Sane And Consensual Power Exchange (Source: Molly Devon / the-iron-gate.com)
  • Common Sense (Source: Sean R. Powell / the-iron-gate.com)
  • Emotional Safety (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Offline/Online BDSM Safety Rules (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Ouch Is Not A Safe Word: Safe Words, Limits, and Scene Protocol (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Rules For Meeting Strangers (Source: Jack Rinella / leathernews.com)
  • Safewords and Safesigns 101 (Source: kinkology.tumblr.com)
  • S.S.C. VS R.A.C.K. (Source: Justin Medlin / the-iron-gate.com)
  • Checklists, Communication and Negotiation:

  • BDSM Play Partner Check List (Source: Sovereign House / the-iron-gate.com)
  • BDSM Scene Negotiations (Source: daddyvinnie.tumblr.com)
  • Can I Get That In Writing: Basics of Negotiations (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Communication (Source: submissivesupportgroup.tumblr.com)
  • If I Ever See Another Checklist I Will Scream: An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Negotiation Forms (Source: Jay Wiseman, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction / greenerypress.com)
  • What Are Negotiations Good For? (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Sub Drop and Aftercare:

  • Aftercare for submissives (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
  • Aftercare for Dominants (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
  • Aftercare for Switches (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
  • Emergency Self-Administered Aftercare (Source: Mistress Abode / brairthornblog.wordpress.com)
  • Sub Drop (Source: David Williams / subshelpingsubs.tripod.com)
  • Sub Drop and Aftercare (Source: desires-of-a-domimant-man.tumblr.com)
  • Dominance and Dominants:

  • A Dominant is NOT (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Advice to a Novice Dom (Source: Washington Sexuality University / the-iron-gate.com)
  • Advice to a Novice Dominant (Source: cherhatton.tumblr.com)
  • An Open Letter To A Novice Dom (Source: evilmonk.org)
  • Qualities of A Successful Dominant (Source: Polly Peachum / the-iron-gate.com)
  • Daddy Doms: They’re Not What You Think (Source: edenfantasys.com)
  • Domination for Nice Guys (Source: Franklin Veaux / the-iron-gate.com)
  • How To Spot A Non Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Learning To Be A Dom (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
  • Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 2 (Source: submissiveguide.com)
  • Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • The Dominant (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • What Is A Daddy Dom? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
  • What Makes A Good Dominant (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
  • What Should A Dominant Be (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Submission and Submissives:

  • 10 Considerations For Inexperienced Subs (Source: fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com)
  • A Submissive Bill of Rights (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • A Submissive’s Creed (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • A Submissive’s Ethics (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Introduction To Submission (Source: Kim Debron / kimdebron.tripod.com)
  • Learning to Trust Your Instincts (Source: bewildbetruebekinkybeyou.tumblr.com)
  • Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves (Source: the-iron-gate.com)
  • Some Rules For The Submissive (Source: daddylookingforhisbaby.tumblr.com)
  • Submissive Owner’s Manual (Source: youmadememe.tumblr.com)
  • Ten Tips For The Novice, Heterosexual submissive Woman (Source: Jay Wiseman / the-iron-gate.com)
  • Warning Signs for Submissives (Source: RC Bauer / the-iron-gate.com)
  • What Is A Babygirl? (Source: babygirlsndaddydoms.webs.com)
  • Books:

  • BDSM: The Naked Truth by Dr Charley Ferrer
  • Dear Raven and Joshua: Questions and Answers About Master/Slave Relationships by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
  • Devil in the Details I: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - The Master, The Slave, The Power by LT Morrison
  • Devil in the Details II: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Mastery Refine: The Issues, The Skills by LT Morrison
  • Devil in the Details III: The Art of Mastery, A Mentoring Trilogy - Sustainable Structure and Traning by LT Morrison
  • Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame, Gloria Brame and Jon Jacobs
  • Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams
  • Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert Rubel
  • Master/slave Relations: Communications 401 by Robert Rubel
  • Master/slave Relations: Solutions 402, Living in Harmony by Robert Rubel
  • Protocols: A Variety of Views by Robert Rubel
  • Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny and Raven Kaldera
  • Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillp Miller and Molly Devon
  • SM101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
  • The Control Book by Peter Masters
  • The Loving Dominant by John and Libby Warren
  • The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
  • The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy.
  • The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino
  • This Curious Human Phenomenon: An Exploration of Some Uncommonly Explored Aspects of BDSM by Peter Masters
  • Where I Am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker
  • filthyobediantslut

    Sharing again for those who missed it. Lots of great resources.

    marquiseoftease

    True!

    However, it works both ways. Dominants are no one’s ‘Mistress’, ‘Goddess’, ‘Sir’, ‘Mylady’ etc. either!

    Just like you don’t walk up to a random stranger and call them ‘darling’.

    It’s creepy, because using an unsolicited title implies you assume a position that isn’t yours.

    If we allow you to call us by a certain name, it means you’re special to us.

    realsubmale951

    I get multiple messages every day that open with, "hello slut", or sissy, or pet. And continue with "are you ready to serve me?". Really?

    vforvumbo

    BDSM PSA

    (I have a side blog for this but hey more people will see it here)

    • BDSM does not always involve pain

    • BD stands for bondage and discipline, DS stands for domination and submission, SM stands for sadism and masochism

    • You don’t need all three categories for BDSM although they often overlap.

    • BDSM is not always a sexual act. For example, you can tie someone up and not have sex with them before you untie them. BSDM can be like a stress relieving hobby

    • Not all subs are masochists and not all dominants are sadists

    • Although BDSM relationships can be abusive like any other, dominants are not inherently abusive.

    • Submissive partners aren’t miserable during a scene although they might look that way

    • BDSM scenes aren’t always serious. You can laugh or smile in a scene when you’re having fun. • Dominants take care of their subs. If a sub is crying and begging and looks like they’re in terrible pain, it’s only because the sub has chosen to be in that situation. They are not being abused.

    • You can practice self-bondage, you don’t necessarily need a partner

    • Aftercare is a thing. Picture a D/s pair cuddling and comforting each other after a scene where the D whipped the s. You always care for each other afterwards

    • Dominants are not always cruel

    • Basically BDSM isn’t the violent abusive thing it is often seen as

    • But also don’t just jump into it. Before you try BDSM with a partner or alone, research safe words, different roles, red flags in a D/s relationship, signs your bondage is hurting you, and physical signs that mean your scene needs to stop immediately (like numb hands, blurry vision, etc)

    • Google Safe, Sane and Consensual or Risk Aware Consensual Kink for more info on how BDSM can be a healthy thing that doesn’t hurt anyone

    Hope this helps some people better understand BDSM!

    dirtythingsthatturnmeonposts

    An important message to the newbies and/or curious vanilla folks on here.

    mistressmaye

    All important, especially if you’re new here!

    sexceptionul

    I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

    IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

    1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

    2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

    3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

    4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

    5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

    TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

    Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

    orangeninjadan

    why on earth doesn’t this have more notes

    anniecrestadair

    I actually had to do this once. She lived.

    qelato

    if you scroll past this on your dash you are absolutely heartless.

    natalie-as-herself

    Reblog this!! This can save somebody’s life!

    aika-chan01

    reblog.

    help.

    do not scroll down.

    saiko-the-pillow-child

    I SWEAR TO GOD IF ANYONE SCROLLS PAST THIS WITHOUT REBLOGGING I WILL LITTERALLY FIND THEM AND GIVE THEM A LECTURE

    galaxyhowlter

    may I just update this?

    see the little thing that says help?

    christopherandhisstuff

    Don’t ever scroll past this post. FUCKING NEVER SCROLL PAST!!!

    xcassidy

    🌸🌸🌸

    a-class-things

    OMG i was looking for this ages ago im so glad i have seen it again

    missadreene

    Read and Reblog slave