ultimate simp

she/her | genderfluid bisexual | autistic | Pl/Eng | multifandom

Last update
2021-10-22 04:51:05

    You ever think about how they made the minions immortal so that they wouldn’t have to explain how they reproduce


    ?? they made the minions immortal???


    Yeah it’s like the same 200 minions forever


    They also trapped them in the Arctic for a long time so they wouldn’t have to show them working for hitler because canonically they’re evil and serve the most evil master around and they’re clearly ok with serving dictators because they were depicted helping Napoleon so the solution to keep hitler out of the story was just to trap the yellow blobs on an iceberg.


    So these things have been alive since the dinosaurs and are basically minor spirits or gods that exist to serve the side of evil and during that whole time they remained grossly incompetent.

    Does the universe in despicable me want evil to fail or win? Or are these stupid yellow sexless idiots meant to keep a balance of some kind? Because they do not seem to have a niche in any ecosystem that I know of so their origin must be divine somehow.


    since the minions are technically the last of their kind (since they seem to not be able to reproduce) does this mean that they are a protected species?


    See, I don’t think that they’re a species. I think that they’re something else. Because everything else in that universe seems to follow ordinary rules of evolution but the same however many hundred minions keep changing their appearance and not dying. I think that the minions were intelligently designed.


    Roman, my guy, are you really saying that minions are evidence of a god in despicable me lore?


    Not god per se but… something.


    Evil vs good. Evil made minions, good made them stupid yellow blobs


    So are you positing that maybe they came to be because of some primordial yin/yang type battle between energies in the ocean or something?


    But they have to reproduce somehow, there are way more minions in the Despicable Me movies than the Minions movie


    there's a blueprint hanging on a wall in the first movie that shows Gru developed a way to create minions out of corn kernels


    please i don’t want to learn these things


    This is the only tiktok you’ll ever need, I’ve made about 13 of these and I’m not stopping anytime soon


    I’m reblogging again because I did it myself and added pictures for those who have trouble learning from the video.

    First take a standard rectangular piece of paper (I used one from a small notebook which I ripped out then cut the holes off)

    Then fold in half touching the shorter side to the opposite shorter side.

    Fold again making the new shorter side touch the other new shorter side

    I did this one more time, but this time I unfolded it right after to get back to where it was only folded twice. It should have left a crease in the paper.

    Using this crease, fold the corners up alongside it to look like this

    This are also going to be unfolded, but this time you’re going to push in alongside the triangular folds you just made and undid.

    Doing this once will result in this

    Hold tight because tumblr won’t let me add more pictures. I’ll reblog will the rest of the instructions


    Continuing on,

    Do the other side of you haven’t already to get this

    You’ll open these newly created flap to change which parts are touching

    Leaving you with this

    Then you start pulling the top “tabs” down

    Do both sides to get the final folded form

    Decorate as desired.

    Hope this helps!


    Ratio for the rectangle size is 2:3

    So 6 cm by 9cm


    I uh, lost an evening:

    Thanatos knows that I hecking love cute origami, and moths, so really, what was I supposed to do, scroll past and not take the opportunity to make butterfly and moth page markers???


    I was waiting for the night bus at 1am the other night, eating fries, when a dude, high as fuck, tried to harass me. It took several “I don’t want to talk to you, please go away” for him to finally move, but I think it helped that another man was giving him the death stare and clicking his tongue at him. He then checked I was okay and whether I knew the guy or not. Good dude.

    Shout out also the man who silently switched places with me on another night bus to be a buffer between me and a guy who had threatened me. Thank you


    Men: this here? This here is what you need to be doing as allies. The men who harass and insult women are not likely to take our complaints about it seriously. But you, another man, they will listen to. 


    I was pumping gas at like 10 PM one night, and these bunch of drunk guys came walking up to the gas station, and one of them yelled over to me if I wanted to see his dick.  His friend says to him, “You don’t have anything she wants to see.” and apologized.  It was pretty awesome.


    this is all we want from men. to recognize the wrongs done by other men, and acknowledge it. not give us shitass defense like, “not all men do that”


    this is proper chivalry

    been thinkin about this lately and i think i want a small life. not a BAD life n not an ISOLATED life n not a CLOSED life but just. small. with defined boundaries. i want a job that will sustain me that doesn't require exhaustion to survive. i want a place to live that's big enough for me to choose every part of it; just enough shelf for mugs i love, just enough cabinet for a neat set of paints, just enough closet for clothes i actually like wearing not just ones i tolerate. i want to do little routines and make small batches of things and be a regular somewhere. i just want to have something contained and clear that's mine, mine, mine





    »»» And thus, ZenithClan rose from the ocean like a molten phoenix.

    »»» After moons of war between the two Clans, and cycles worth of dissatisfied whispers and rumours, BarkClan and MarrowClan have splintered into a new Clan: ZenithClan, a group of religious tricksters and artists. They have established territory next to the sea, taking a large chunk of previously neutral land. While the other two Clans may doubt their ability to stay together, let alone expand, StarClan clearly has other ideas, as their leader was given nine lives…

    »»» A bloody squabble over leadership created a tumultuous start for ZenithClan. In the end, Lunestar emerged as leader of the new Clan, with Hollowhawk as his deputy. With a surprise attempt on the Star’s Fall while the other Clans fought one another, they seized the disputed territory as their own. However, their numbers are small and have not yet been tested in true battle; their strength in the coming moons remains to be seen. As the war between BarkClan and MarrowClan escalates, will ZenithClan thrive in the chaos, or shatter beneath it?

    »»»   Warriors of the Zodiac is open for applications again from October 15th to November 1st! Warriors, monarchs, and elders alike will be welcome this application period, as well as oracle openings for each Clan! Oracle apprentices are open for BarkClan, MarrowClan and ZenithClan. ZenithClan also has an opening for a fully fledged oracle.

    »»» We are a discord based roleplay with fantasy elements and three original Clans: BarkClan, MarrowClan and ZenithClan. The Clans have unique lore and practices, being based on astrological and Western pagan beliefs. This roleplay has original Zodiacs made especially for it, so even those with no previous knowledge of astronomy and astrology can join!  

    »»» Warriors of the Zodiac strives to let members drive the plot and be involved in any random event; we want everyone’s input to matter. Gatherings and half moon meetings alike are done on a monthly basis.

    »»» Information and the application can be found in the reblog, and the description of this blog!


        » LEARN MORE «                                                 » APPLY «


    literally who CARES if straight cis men are wearing skirts for ‘clout’!!! I want to live in a world where being gnc is desirable to them rather than one where they make bigoted jokes about it. it’s GOOD that people with the privilege to do so are normalising gender non conformity and i dont give a shit if they have deliberate political intentions or if they’re just having fun you guys are all so annoying


    we could be using the tiktok boys to kickstart a movement around men wearing skirts that would benefit gnc and trans people but you guys want ideological purity before u want results


    When I was in middle school, way back in 1994, we had An Incident. A few popular boys dared each other to wear skirts to school on Monday. To, in their own words, “See what it was like to wear skirts, lol. Why shouldn’t we?”. It wasn’t anything fancy, they just pulled some long hippie skirts over their jeans in the bathroom and giggled their way to class.

    I want to go back a bit here. It was 1994. There were no out gay people anywhere near our school. Certainly no trans people. A few celebrities on TV, sure, but mostly in jokes. And not everyone had access to MTV or cable. The internet didn’t exist for us. Only a few kids had ever even heard of Rocky Horror Picture Show, which would be my first brush with gender fuckery that came close to positive rep in the media. Our city and state had a measure on the ballot almost every year since the mid eighties attempting to criminalize even mentioning the word gay. AIDs was still a looming specter over everything. It was dangerous to be seen as gay or gender nonconforming.

    So these boys. They weren’t trying to make a statement. They weren’t even making a gay joke. They just thought it wold be silly to wear skirts. They wanted to see what it felt like. They were experimenting. The teachers flipped out. The boys wear marched into the principle’s office, their parents called, they were sent home for the day, a school announcement was made about inappropriate clothing and being lewd in school. Again, long loose skirts over pants. “Skirts aren’t for you. It’s wrong for boys to wear skirts. Stay in your straight boy box”. In response we, the students, responded with “Fuck the police!”.

    2 Days later about 2/3 of boys showed up in skirts, jewelry, and makeup. No girls wore skirts, makeup, or jewelry. Some girls drew mustaches and wore suits. It began as just a anti-authoritarian response to what we saw as a ridiculous over reaction to boys in skirts, but the more we thought about it the more upset we got. Why couldn’t they wear skirts any time they wanted??? Why shouldn’t they paint their nails??? What if they did it all the time??? Yeah maybe some of them did like other boys, so what??? Maybe some of the girls in school never wanted to wear skirts or makeup, didn’t like their boobs, and/or didn’t like boys??? MAYBE IT WAS ALL BULLSHIT

    In about a week a large number of us had become queer advocates without even knowing what that was. And in the face of that many kids, the school didn’t know what to do. Send us all home? We had several days of no free periods allowed, no recess time, lunch was for eating and quiet contemplation. Parents were called and warnings mailed that school dress codes were being updated. Unfortunately for school policy enough parents also thought that enforcing the gender binary was ridiculous that meetings had to be held. And some of the wealthier parents rolled up with lawyers ready to argue that Timmy had every right to wear a long skirt, and you couldn’t suspend Alice because she’d buzzed her hair on Thursday and started wearing mens suit pants and jackets. So it was dropped mostly. Skirts couldn’t be above the knee, no spaghetti straps, no drawing on your face - regardless of gender. But the air had changed.

    Most kids went back to wearing whatever they had before. But, several boys continued painting their nails, grew out their hair, and occasionally wore skirts. Several girls chopped their hair off and wore “boys” clothing. One person, and this was literally unheard of, asked their friends to stop calling them Bridgett and call them Brandon. And they did. I lost track of most of the students, this town isn’t that small, but I know some of them came out as queer later in life. I can’t say that incident was a turning point for them, but it was for me.

    It started as boys being silly. But at least 2 of those initial boys ended up wearing skirts and makeup regularly after that well into high school, and not as a joke. If they’d been shouted down? If other kids hadn’t said, “You know what? Good for you!” I hope they still would have been able to come out, but it probably wouldn’t have been as easy.

    And yes, it did start as a joke. But the response is what matters here. It wasn’t treated as a joke. It was met with anger. Then acceptance. And it made a positive difference.

    So, I see people upset that “straight cis” people aren’t wearing clothes correctly and… Y'all. I just see another instance of some kids playing with ideas and experimenting, pushing the boundaries. And being met with anger. And told to get back in their gender appropriate box.

    “Well well well what if they mean it as a joke???” Tell them they look good and should wear skirts more often, if they want to. Tell them that yellow isn’t their color, but they’d look great in green. Tell them that if they get thigh chaffing to try bike shorts underneath. If you can’t handle that, don’t say anything. Block them and move on. If they’re assholes, block them and move on. But don’t tell them they can’t wear clothing because they haven’t labeled themselves correctly.

    You can’t say you support queer rights and gender nonconformity and then get pissy when people don’t wear pants/skirts in narrow ways you like.

    Stop trying to validate yourself by pushing down other people.

    (I’m using pronouns for people that were used when I last knew them, since I have no way of knowing if they’ve changed)

    EDIT: I do know this situation is specific. It wouldn’t have happened the same at some of the other schools in town. Families trended more liberal, and the popular kids were mostly wealthier. So, we all had adults saying, “gays aren’t evil but also not encouraged, but you can’t say you don’t encourage them”. The parental support was mostly of a “don’t tell my kid what to do” liberal posturing. Very few of the parents actually supported their kid being queer at the time. Brandon changing their name was a secret. We, the students radicalized ourselves on accident, but no one actually came out until years later. Our supporting each other to wear whatever we wanted, joke or not, was influential in coming out though. (my parents basically asked if I wanted to buy a suit to wear to school, also did I want to form a picket line. I did not, but appreciated the idea. Mom told one of the boys he looked very pretty when he wore a dress to graduation. Which was another Incident, and also very funny because they couldn’t punish him at all by then)


    Link for full article below.


    *pretends to be shocked but also maybe this will make people realize that Indigenous People Know What The Hell They’re Doing and Deserve Respect*


    3 other fun/cool facts about the Inuit:

    1. They also invented kayaks and dog booties.

    Dog booties are actually really important for working sled dogs in winter to protect their paw pads from iceburn and keep ice from getting in between their toes and burning them that way.

    2. The traditional Inuit diet is one of the healthiest in the world, and the most balanced for the ratio of Omega 3 to Omega 6 consumption

    Most modern diets consume way too much Omega 6 and not enough Omega 3.

    3. Inuit is a plural noun. When speaking about a single person the correct word is Inuk (always capitalized)

    For example, “This Inuk woman is wearing traditional Inuit tattoos”.


    And she is wonderful


    Never a bad time to remember that indigenous people are wonderful and deserve to have a good day.

    Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”

    and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”

    and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.