Text Messages from Hot Wives
Last update
2020-10-13 05:02:53

    By the Way, if You’re a Cubs Fan...

    And you wish to volunteer yourself (or volunteer your wife, if you happen to be the male half) for duty on my new Level 5 Conquest, adult “action adventure” game, you should know that:

    You’re probably only suitable for a hate fuck! Bwahaha

    Go Cards!

    Evidence of Willpower

    I was offered sex with a beautiful 21 year old girl yesterday. In exchange, I was asked to promote some sort of all-purpose cleaner. Being of strong moral character and willpower, of course I declined. In fact, I would say that my willpower and character are every bit as strong as new Ajax with Bleach, which offers powerful cleaning at a great value and a scratch-free rinse. By the way, did I mention that it's now available in lemon scent?  Satisfaction guaranteed! Order today for half off your next container.

    If This Pisses Some of You Off and Causes Me To Lose Followers...

    so be it!  I just have to get this little rant off my chest.

    Guys with foot fetishes are fucking weird.  God gave women boobs, butts, lips, pink pussies, and long legs that can wrap around you and pull you into her... and you guys want to look at some fucking feet? For real?

    C’mon man! What the fuck is a sweaty, smelly foot with toe jam and sock lint going to do for you that some girl’s tight ass or soft, warm mouth isn’t?  Feet? Fucking feet? 

    Get the hell out of here with that! I’ll take a chick’s hand over her fucking foot any day; I mean at least she can actually grip you with that. And ain’t no bitch going to do that with her feet unless you’ve been dating some chimpanzee looking broads with fingers like toes and an opposable thumb on the side of her mother fuckin’ foot!

    And don’t be asking for no gosh damn “hot feet text messages.” They ain’t happening, and you best not be fucking typing your request to me with your toes either you little bitches!

  • For the record, no this issue isn’t that serious.  I’m just having some fun.  But if you can’t laugh or were genuinely offended, then you genuinely are free to stop following.
  • And now for something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.  Brought to you by yours truly!  Hopefully you will get a good laugh out of it. If you do, please nominate it for “Best of Craigslist.”

    So I Just Finished Talking to a Friend of Mine...

    He was complaining to me about how horrible his wife is and going on and on about nothing in particular.  So I ask him, "What exactly is so horrible about her anyway?"

    He's like, "Everything man.  You just don't understand."

    "So then make me understand.  What's going on?" I quiz him.

    "She sucks dude," is his response.

    So I'm like, "So what are you complaining for?"