Not particularly active lately. The doom subsided and I had an autumn walk a few weeks ago just for the hell of it. I tend to forget the reasons why I do it when I’m down and just see all the negativity. When I’m up, the opposite applies and I remember how integral the feeling of being totally full and uncomfortably desperate is. Also I find it interesting that it’s very hard to mentally picture the tsunami of stink that occurs immediately after an accident. It’s always the case but when I’m considering a walk, that huge factor rarely enters my overall analysis of whether to go ahead with it or not. If I’m down I’m just not interested in any of it. But even if I was down and forced myself to have an accident, I’m pretty sure it would immediately put me back in the mood for it just because of those two factors. Desperation, epic relief and then the sudden, overpowering and all confirming stink.
I randomly picked this from the summer. Just because it shows what happens if you have a pretty big accident without reinforcing your underwear leg bands. I usually use tights snipped above the knee and pulled up tightly to meet the underwear edges. It creates an obvious panty line but that really is the least of my worries considering the purpose. I hate leaks like this. It just flops further and further down your legs as you walk and eventually soils your socks and footwear. Keeping everything contained within my underwear is essential for a sustainable walk.
2020, the cretinous little deviant obviously deserves to mess itself humiliatingly in front of everyone, but despite the doom I generally somehow ended up having some truly epic incidents. Having to wear face masks made me feel more stealthy along with many shopping centres having awfully organised toilet systems resulting in long and very awkward queuing incidents. Nothing new there but somehow it felt more exciting being relatively confident that desperation would win all on its own if I was forced to wait up to 10 minutes just to get into a toilet. I haven’t bothered with any write ups yet. I’ll probably do one or two from this year over the winter when I’m hibernating but a few of the most epic trips were very similar to other awkward shopping posts. It isn’t easy to be original here. I pooped myself. I messed myself again. Oh look what happened this time I pooped myself in identical circumstances to previous posts again. Guess what, oh, you guessed already.
I hope everyone is managing to stay on top of their own mental war zones. I’m lucky to have private escapes like this, supportive friends and creative outlets but I do worry for those who’s lives are above 50% social. Isolation with just loved ones I don’t struggle with at all being a fairly epic introvert. The extroverts must be so starved of their social life blood. And it must be nearly impossible for all the poor teenagers and students who’s lives are more often than not over 70% social. I really hope the recent vaccine developments yield some positive results on the overall picture next year. People need a chance to exhale for longer than a few brief summer months where everything is very strict and weird.
Lots of love and happy pooping x