Erotic Humiliation vs Degradation

I would like to explain what I believe is the difference between erotic humiliation and degradation. Both are psychological acts, not physical ones. How you make your submissive feel during any activity determines if that activity is abusive, not the activity itself.

His body can be covered in bruises and welts, but it doesn’t necessarily mean he was abused. Conversely, he can be severely abused without a single mark on him or without being touched at all.

Erotic humiliation will make him feel silly, weak, powerless, and humiliated, but in a loving and cared for way. No matter how humiliating the activity, he is still able to feel good about it, even sometimes craving these feelings. He feels that he is doing it as an act of service, for your pleasure and/or amusement. This is especially true if you are making him do it, and not something he did on his own.

Degradation will make him feel silly, weak, powerless, and humiliated, and rejected at the same time. It creates negative feelings that make him feel bad about himself, that he is hated, pathetic, and unlovable. It can strip his self worth from him creating a psychological downward spiral of self loathing, that unchecked, could eventually lead to suicide.

I will show what I mean in a few different scenarios. The activity is the same but what is said to the submissive is different.

Scenario #1  Caging him

erotic humiliation: “In your cage sweetheart, Good boy. I need to know you are safe and secure under my lock and key while you are so helpless. You are too precious to me to be left running free. I love knowing you will be right where I left you. I’ll come check on you in a while. Call if you need me. Bye baby.”

degradation: “Get your ass in that cage. I’m so sick of you following me around like a lost dog and you’re getting on my nerves. Look at you. What kind of man allows a woman to lock him in a cage like a dog? A loser, that’s what kind. You’re pathetic. If you’re lucky, I’ll remember you exist and let you out later.

Scenario #2  Cuckolding him

erotic humiliation: “I’m about to head out for my date. Are you sure you are okay with this sweetie? Good boy. Just because I want to date men with bigger cocks doesn’t mean I love you any less. Understand? That’s why I keep you in strict chastity. I don’t share my toys. You’re my property and will remain so forever. I’ll call you when we get back to his house to ensure you are alright. See you in a few hours. Bye baby.”

degradation: I’m about to head out for my date with a real man. If you weren’t such an inadequate loser I would stay home and fuck you. But you are pathetic and your dick is totally useless. That’s why you are in chastity and will never be inside me again. Stop crying wimp. I hate it when you cry. It’s not like I’m leaving you, well not yet anyway. Don’t wait up for me, I might not be home tonight.

Scenario #3  Crossdressing him

erotic humiliation: “There you go sweetie, all dressed up and pretty for me. I love seeing you in your high heels and stockings. It makes your legs and bum look so sexy and I love listening to the click of your heels as you walk around. Tonight you will be my lesbian lover. With you locked in chastity, You can’t make love to me like a man anyway. That’s okay baby-girl, your tongue is amazing.”

degradation: “Ha Ha, don’t you look silly! All dressed up like a girl, definitely not a pretty one. You love this don’t you? I saw your pathetic cock trying to grow in it’s little cage. Probably wishing you were a real girl so you can take some cock. I bet you would make a great cocksucker! Would you like that faggot? You’re disgusting.”


As you can see in these scenarios just the words you use can change things from loving to totally toxic. I use erotic humiliation in my relationship with my husband. While I don’t cuckold him, I do lock him in a cage and cross-dress him weekly.  I also at times make him wear diapers, drink from baby bottles, and make him beg, among other things. I ensure he feels loved and wanted anytime I use humiliation on him as I maintain the inequality of our relationship. I know there are those out there that actually want degradation as part of their relationship dynamic, and that’s fine if they can handle it, but I will never want it or use it myself. There is enough cruelty in the world already without me adding to it. Let your humiliation come from a place of love.