Shea's Domain
Last update
2020-01-29 04:34:35

    “When life gives you more than you can stand, kneel.”

    This appeared on my Facebook news feed, and, much to the chagrin of the original poster I’m sure, it brought on a completely different connotation for me.

    I wish I had a fun photo to accompany the dirty thoughts I had when I saw this….

    But see, the thing is, this platitude holds up with my adaptation as well.

    “When life gives you more than you can stand, kneel.”

    When I feel my world crashing down around me, one thing that keeps me from crashing with it is getting on my knees in front of my sir.


    A reminder that I am not my own. I am his.

    In front of him, his arms around me, I am not alone.

    In his arms, I know this amazing person has chosen me to submit to his desires.

    He has chosen me because I am unique, capable, and strong.

    This wonderful man deserves nothing less than that.

    And I deserve nothing less than this man who recognizes me for who I am because he is, in the most complementary fashion, unique, capable, and strong himself.

    In his arms, I am reminded of how superb of a human being he is.

    And how superb of a human being I am to deserve his dominance and his love.

    When life gives me more than I can stand, I kneel.

    (Dammit, I meant for this to be a funny post, and I’m crying now. )


    BDSM: Isn’t That A Sex Thing?

    it’s also a respect thing 
    it’s also a consent thing 
    it’s also a love thing 
    its also an honest thing 
    it’s also a personal expression thing
    it’s als
    o a communication thing  
    s also an acceptable thing 


    It’s also a friendship thing


    A post about romantic relationships

    so I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now. And I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into a room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you’d be so happy to live together you’d sleep on a double bed with each other every night.

    And its not really like that, at least not to me.

    You stop getting the butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When youre in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesnt feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.

    You don’t sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight its hard to tell where yours begin and theirs end.

    Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arm, or stroke their hair as they fall asleep. There are nights when my boyfriend, in his sleep, reaches around me and pulls me to him, like a child with his teddybear, like I am his comfort.

     In the wee hours of the morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and you see through cracked eyes, you curl into their chest and inhale their scent before drifting back to sleep. 

    Kisses aren’t always romantic and firey anymore. But there are so much more of them now. There are cold kisses when you’re eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day.

    There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses. There’s quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when its loud and you gravitate together, when instead of having your own personal space and their own personal space, its both of yours together, and you step into their chest to take up less area together. 

    You don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like you used to, because that’s a given now, and you’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life youve built together. You share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, your own little world against the outside one. 

    Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start.

    But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not a fire in your soul, but one in your hearth, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drowsily drift into sleep.

    And I love that.




    This is everything and more


    im not crying, you’re crying


    Been reading ur blog. U need to stop calling urself a dom. All this lovey crap makes real doms sick. A sub is not for respecting and loving. A sub is for using and thats what they like. Its fine that u love ur girl, just dont call urself a dom. Real doms show dominance, use there sub and leave her laying like the cunt slut she is. Bein all sweet, and all that does is give her power over u, which makes u not a dom.

    Hi there, Anon. I almost didn’t even dignify this with a response, but I think you’ve actually given me a good opportunity to say something that new doms need to know, so kudos to you. 

    First and foremost, let’s establish something right here and now: You don’t get to tell me what I am, and you are damn sure not the leading authority on what does and does not constitute a dominant. For the record, I didn’t wake up one day and decide to be a dom. I never even thought of myself that way until I met belovedsangi 10 years ago. I always had the characteristics of a dom, sure, but I didn’t ever put that title on myself. That title was given to me by my submissive. SHE is the one who wanted to call me Master, and Sir, and sometimes Daddy. I never told her to do these things. But of course, you probably think I am making my point for you and that if I were a REAL domly dom, I would’ve demanded those things. 

    And that’s where you have a fundamental issue understanding the meaning of the title. So let me help you with that. 

    A dom does not demand respect. He conducts himself in such a way as to be worthy of respect. 

    A dom does not bark commands. His presence is such that he can seduce and command with nothing more than a glance. 

    A dom does not raise his voice. He is the kind of man who gets what he wants without needing to. 

    A dom is not a braggart. He is possessed of a calm, quiet confidence that is evident in his demeanor, the way he walks, the tone of his voice, and all other aspects of him. 

    A dom understands balance. He knows that while a firm hand and discipline are critical in this type of relationship, knowing when to be gentle and understanding is every bit as important. 

    A dom is a gentleman first and foremost. That doesn’t necessarily mean that he is a fancy man who values the finer things in life, but he does understand manners and protocol. He opens the car door for her. He orders for her if she is having trouble deciding. He treats strangers with courtesy and respect. 

    A dom is a protector. He makes sure that his submissive feels safe and protected at all times. This means so much more than just telling her you will protect her. A dom shows her. He keeps a hand on her shoulder or on her waist in crowds so she doesn’t get nervous. He sleeps on the side of the bed closest to the door so that he is always between his submissive and an intruder. He walks on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street so that an errant vehicle will hit him before his submissive. If anything or anyone should threaten his submissive, he must be prepared to fight for her with the ferocity of an alpha wolf. 

    A dom earns her submission. It is not a thing to be demanded, expected, or assumed. And he continues to earn it, each and every day.  

    A dom values her submission. Fully submitting your will and trusting your body and well-being to someone takes a kind of strength most can’t imagine, and a dom never loses sight of that. 

    A dom understands that being a dominant is 10% privilege and 90% responsibility. He is literally taking her life into his hands. He is accepting the most sacred and important thing she has to give. He is taking her burdens and bearing them as his own, always, every day. 

    A dom is consistent. He understands that he can’t just be her protector, lover, confidant, master, etc. when he feels like it. There will be days when a dom is tired. There will be days when he is stressed. There will be days when he is broken. On those days, it is more important than ever for a dom to show his submissive that he is still everything she needs him to be. 

    So what does it mean, then, to be a dom? I get the feeling that you, anon, would say that it’s all about making her kneel, having your way with her, shouting orders and using her. Helpful hint: Any jackass can buy himself a whip and bark commands. That’s not a dom. Don’t get me wrong, I do absolutely have my way with belovedsangi. I love it when she kneels. I love the kinky, rough, mind-blowing sex we have. I love to dominate her in the bedroom. But for every moment of that, there are a hundred moments of holding her, of talking to her, laughing with her, gaming with her. There are a hundred moments of making her feel safe when she is afraid, giving her confidence when she is unsure, comforting her when she feels troubled. Those are all things that a dominant does too. 

    I love my submissive more than I love oxygen. I love my submissive with a fire that can never be extinguished. I value her and respect her in every way. I treat her like a queen and fuck her like a slave. These things don’t make me weak. They don’t make me less of a dominant. These things make me stronger than you can possibly imagine. There is nothing quite so formidable as a dominant who has found the perfect submissive to fuel his fire. Never will you see anyone love so strongly or fight so fiercely. 

    Bottom line, Anon, is this: you sound like a boy playing at being a man. You decided one day that you were sick of women having willpower and a voice of their own, so you decided to call yourself a dominant and seek out some weak-willed submissive who wouldn’t talk back to you or stick up for herself. You are not a dom. You are a jackass with a whip. Classic case of toodomforyou.


    I don’t often just reblog. But this is big, serious, important stuff. If you’re into what I’m into, and haven’t thought about things like this, do so now.


    What I want...

    I’ve been feeling on and off sick for about two weeks now and it’s making me super needy and thinking about what I want, what I’m missing… 

    I want someone who I can be me with, someone I don’t have to over think things with and worry that if I say the wrong thing he’ll run.  I want someone who can laugh off some of the crazy shit I say and tell me I’m being a silly little girl.  I want to be able to relax and really laugh with him.  I want to be able to cry, for him not to freak out but just to cuddle me, know it’s not a big deal and not think less of me for it or worry that he can’t handle me.  

    I want 24/7, TPE, all that jazz.  At the end of the day, as much as it has everything to do with sex, its also got nothing to do with it.  I want it to be a way of living.  Of course it’s not going to be cages, whips and chains every night of the week. Some nights it will just be sitting in front of the TV, exhausted, a nice big fire and his arms wrapped around me. However, that’s what I’m most interested in. Sitting in front of the TV with him, if he wants food, a drink, whatever, jumping to get/do it straight away. Always being his, always serving, even when it’s not apparent. He doesn’t have to exert the control and power every minute, but that’s because it’s always there regardless. That’s the dynamic, it’s how we work, what we are.  

    I want to serve him, I want my thoughts to center around him, what he wants, what he needs, what I can do to be better for him, to make him happy.  In return I just want to feel safe and loved.  I want to feel like he needs me as much as I need him.  I want him to want me, not this ideal version of me.  He can improve me but I don’t want to have to act like someone I’m not.  I want someone to love me for who I am inside, as soppy as that sounds.  

    I feel sick and I’m lonely, I just want someone to stroke my hair, tell me they care about me and help me fall asleep… 


    This is exactly what i’m looking for, i simply didn’t have the words to truly capture it, but inferior-cunt does.


    This is what I’m looking for


    I forgot about this post! I’m such a sweetheart sometimes =)


    This paragraph:

    “I want 24/7, TPE, all that jazz.  At the end of the day, as much as it has everything to do with sex, its also got nothing to do with it.  I want it to be a way of living.  Of course it’s not going to be cages, whips and chains every night of the week. Some nights it will just be sitting in front of the TV, exhausted, a nice big fire and his arms wrapped around me. However, that’s what I’m most interested in. Sitting in front of the TV with him, if he wants food, a drink, whatever, jumping to get/do it straight away. Always being his, always serving, even when it’s not apparent. He doesn’t have to exert the control and power every minute, but that’s because it’s always there regardless. That’s the dynamic, it’s how we work, what we are.  ”

    That captures it so nicely. Being submissive is not about stopping to think and being used. Or well, yes, it is, of course, also about that. But it’s the whole attitude behind it that I want. Having a submissive who always serves me. Not always actively by being under the table sucking my dick (however nice that may be) but serves me by realising she is my submissive and by thinking of ways to serve, to take care of me, to take away pressure, to make sure I’m feeling good.

    And I want that (and think I deserve that) because that’s what being dominant means for me. Yes, of course it’s about collars and whips (sweet whips…), but those things don’t mean anything if it’s only about those. Being dominant to a submissive for me is to have them on my mind. Because I want to control, but because I want to simply take care of them as well. What’s the cop phrase… “To serve and protect”? That should go for both dominants and submissives actually.

    It’s no fun to have someone who passively undergoes your dominance - at least for me it isn’t. I want someone who willingly undergoes the things I demand, but someone who actively tries to preempt what would make my life easier and fuller and more worthwhile. Someone who will take care of me as I’m taking care of her. That should be obvious to anyone; but it so seldom is obvious…


    I agree, especially with your last paragraph.  That’s my issue with so many d/s type relationships.  For many girls it seems to be an excuse to hide.  They find life too hard to deal with thus, they see an opportunity to surrender.  They turn into these ‘yes sir’ submissives who no longer have two brain cells to rub together.  They think that by giving over control they no longer have to think, they just do whatever he says and nothing more.  They make it all about their needs and stupidity.  Sure, they follow instruction, but so can anything if you programme it correctly.  

    I don’t want to handed a list of things to do and follow them to the letter, as attractive as that notion sounds sometimes.  I want to be given a general guideline and know that I will do it to the best of my ability in a way that will please him most.  I want to take the time to get to know him well enough that I can anticipate what he needs without him always having to tell me.  I want to use my own intelligence, creativity and initiative to serve him, the way he deserves.