@m--shea
Shea's Domain
Posts
10329
Last update
2020-01-29 04:34:35
    snow-fury-deactivated20170226

    Boys, protect girls. Call people out when they make offensive jokes. Stand up to those who treat girls like objects. Walk a girl home if she feels unsafe. Listen to them and be considerate of their feelings. Destroy that myth that women are inferior.

    Girls, protect boys. Call people out when they make fun of a boy for showing emotion. Stand up to those who tell boys to ‘man up.’ Support boys who enjoy feminine things. Destroy the myth that men can’t be victims and that women can’t be predators.

    Boys, protect boys. Protect your bros from violent relationships. Comfort your bros when they need somebody. Stand up for your bros who are ridiculed for not wanting/liking sex. Destroy the myth that two men can’t be close without it being “gay.”

    Girls, protect girls. Defend sisters who enjoy having sex. Stand up to those who define sisters for what they wear. Don’t judge your sister’s worth from how many boyfriend’s she’s had. Destroy the myth that girls have to constantly compete with each other.

    Protect everyone from the patriarchy. 

    lascumz

    Hallelujah.

    zodiac--signs

    Fucking important. Idc.

    poppypicklesticks

    I wonder how feminists will react to this

    Probably ignore it then go back to making male tears mugs and gifs 

    spiderkiss

    Actually this is a very common idea among feminists

    It’s something feminists have been talking about for years it’s called toxic masculinity and it’s one of the common threads among the topic of ‘Patriarchy hurts men too’. If fact the first time I read about toxic masculinity was on a feminist blog.

    If you actually read things feminists talk about instead of straw manning them you might know this but OH WELL

    failisuck-deactivated20151124

    I was inspired by several articles about the Tampon Tax recently and some of the protests against the categorization of tampons as “luxury items,” so I made this up. It’s funny because it’s true.

    profeminist

    Tampons are a “luxury item”

    gehayi

    Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women’s bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren’t necessary.

    I found out why after I’d been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. He wanted to know why. I told him.

    He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies’ room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I’d just been told and there could be no possible argument.

    “If I don’t go,” I said in an overly patient tone, “the blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I’m sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That’s why I need to go to the bathroom.”

    His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered, “Wait, you mean that if you don’t go, you’ll just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!”

    I thought, You have got to be kidding.

    Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn’t. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn’t know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries.

    And that’s how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen.

    doctorpsycho1960

    #American Sex Education  #American Politics  #Tampons and Sanitary Napkins  #Luxury Items  #Choosy Patriarchs Choose GIF

    dismantlethefeminism

    I do not understand this “male privilege" bullshit.

    What. Fucking. Privileges. Do. Men. Have.???????

    Name them. I swear, I challenge you to name these “male privileges" and be able to prove them. 

    Come on, I fucking dare you. 

    Name them!

    cosmic-kleptomaniac

    Oh boy. Well, as a man, I’ll tell you my male privilege.

    • My odds of being hired for a job, when competing against female applicants, are probably skewed in my favor. The more prestigious the job, the larger the odds are skewed.
    • I can be confident in the fact that my co-workers won’t think that I was hired/promoted because of my sex - despite the fact that it’s probably true.
    • If I ever am promoted when a woman of my peers is better suited for the job, it is because of my sex.
    • If i ever fail at my job or career, it won’t be seen as a blacklist against my sex’s capabilities.
    • I am far less likely to face sexual harassment than my female peers.
    • If I do the same task as a woman, and if the measurement is at all subjective, chances are people will think I did a better job.
    • If I am a teen or an adult, and I stay out of prison, my odds of getting raped are relatively low.
    • On average, I’m taught that walking alone after dark by myself is less than dangerous than it is for my female peers.
    • If I choose not to have children, my masculinity will not be questioned.
    • If I do have children but I do not provide primary care for them, my masculinity will not be questioned.
    • If I have children and I do care for them, I’ll be praised even if my care is only marginally competent.
    • If I have children and a career, no one will think I’m selfish for not staying at home.
    • If I seek political office, my relationship with my children or who I deem to take care of them will more often not be scrutinized by the press.
    • My elected representatives are mostly people of my own sex. The more prestigious the position, the more this is true.
    • When i seek out “the person in charge", it is likely that they will be someone of my own sex. The higher the position, the more often this is true.
    • As a child, chances are I am encouraged to be more active and outgoing than my sisters.
    • As a child, I could choose from an almost infinite variety of children’s media featuring positive, active, non-stereotyped heroes of my own sex. I never had to look for it; male protagonists were (and are) the default.
    • As a child, chances are I got more teacher attention than girls who raised their hands just as often.
    • If my day, week or year is going badly, I need not ask of each negative episode or situation whether or not it has sexist overtones. (Nobody’s going to ask if I’m upset because I’m menstruating.)
    • I can turn on the television or glance at the front page of the newspaper and see people of my own sex widely represented.
    • If I’m careless with my financial affairs it won’t be attributed to my sex.
    • If I’m careless with my driving it won’t be attributed to my sex.
    • I can speak in public to a large group without putting my sex on trial.
    • Even if I sleep with a lot of women, there is little to no chance that I will be seriously labeled a “slut,” nor is there any male counterpart to “slut-bashing.”
    • I do not have to worry about the message my wardrobe sends about my sexual availability.
    • My clothing is typically less expensive and better-constructed than women’s clothing for the same social status. While I have fewer options, my clothes will probably fit better than a woman’s without tailoring.
    • The grooming regimen expected of me is relatively cheap and consumes little time.
    • If I buy a new car, chances are I’ll be offered a better price than a woman buying the same car. The same goes for other expensive merchandise.
    • If I’m not conventionally attractive, the disadvantages are relatively small and easy to ignore.
    • I can be loud with no fear of being called a shrew. I can be aggressive with no fear of being called a bitch.
    • I can ask for legal protection from violence that happens mostly to men without being seen as a selfish special interest, since that kind of violence is called “crime” and is a general social concern. (Violence that happens mostly to women is usually called “domestic violence” or “acquaintance rape,” and is seen as a special interest issue.)
    • I can be confident that the ordinary language of day-to-day existence will always include my sex. “All men are created equal,” mailman, chairman, freshman, he.
    • My ability to make important decisions and my capability in general will never be questioned depending on what time of the month it is.
    • I will never be expected to change my name upon marriage or questioned if I don’t change my name.
    • The decision to hire me will not be based on assumptions about whether or not I might choose to have a family sometime soon.
    • Every major religion in the world is led primarily by people of my own sex. Even God, in most major religions, is pictured as male.
    • Most major religions argue that I should be the head of my household, while my wife and children should be subservient to me.
    • If I have a wife or live-in girlfriend, chances are we’ll divide up household chores so that she does most of the labor, and in particular the most repetitive and unrewarding tasks.
    • If I have children with my girlfriend or wife, I can expect her to do most of the basic childcare such as changing diapers and feeding.
    • If I have children with my wife or girlfriend, and it turns out that one of us needs to make career sacrifices to raise the kids, chances are we’ll both assume the career sacrificed should be hers.
    • Assuming I am heterosexual, magazines, billboards, television, movies, pornography, and virtually all of media is filled with images of scantily-clad women intended to appeal to me sexually. Such images of men exist, but are rarer.
    • In general, I am under much less pressure to be thin than my female counterparts are. If I am over-weight, I probably suffer fewer social and economic consequences for being fat than over-weight women do.
    •  If I am heterosexual, it’s incredibly unlikely that I’ll ever be beaten up by a spouse or lover.
    • Complete strangers generally do not walk up to me on the street and tell me to “smile.”
    • Sexual harassment on the street virtually never happens to me. I do not need to plot my movements through public space in order to avoid being sexually harassed, or to mitigate sexual harassment.
    • On average, I am not interrupted by women as often as women are interrupted by men.
    • On average, I will have the privilege of not knowing about my male privilege.

    And lastly, I am taken as a more credible feminist than my female peers, despite the fact that the feminist movement is not liberating to my sex.

    This is male privilege.

    acureforbrainwork

    THIS. THIS IS HOW YOU BE A MALE FEMINIST. 

    tkayleighb

    Whew. He asked for one and got a nice, abbreviated version. Priceless.

    virginiaisforhaters

    Men believe the family is their domain but when it comes to watching the children or doing chores suddenly it’s not their responsibility

    socialistlesbian

    “If hoards of men started taking their wives’ surnames, it would be an unfortunate and perhaps irreversible step towards a matriarchal goddess culture, which blows for guys because those cultures used to routinely kill male infants and treat males like slaves. In a world where there are already very few incentives for men to get legally shackled, this is one slippery slope I wouldn’t want to slide down.” - Ricky, 27

    I’M SORRY BUT WHAT IS HAPPENING TO FEMALE CHILDREN AND WOMEN AROUND THIS WORLD??? OH YES, JUST THAT.

    geekandmisandry

    Ricky is full of shit, there is no conclusive evidence that a matriarchal culture has ever existed so he’s just flat making shit up.

    Also props to the “male feminist” who clearly knows jack shit.

    dreamingdarkly

    Seems a bit unfair of whoever edited this to trim out the 3/15 who were all for it, and only show the those 4.  (the other 8 weren’t all neutral, there were a few more against, came out to something like 3/5/7, which isn’t great, but still).

    Yeah, this is still a big hurdle, it’s true.  I know a few husbands who took their wives last name, I’ve been around more than a few times when other people found out and reacted.  And I’ve seen all kinds of reactions.  Oddly enough, it’s mostly women who act the most negatively.

    Guys mostly seem to be “Well I personally wouldn’t want to do it, but could care less what those people do”.  90%+ of the Women though…  Seem to be utterly Horrified.  I really don’t understand why.  Some seem to assume the wife forced the husband to do this somehow “Oh god!  How could you DO that to him?!” , Some seem to think it will damage or confuse the children… Which makes especially little sense to me.  Have you seen the rates of children lacking a father entirely?  Almost all of them have their mothers last name, but people don’t literally do a spit take in response to hearing about it (yes seriously, saw one woman spit out her coffee)

    I just don’t get it =/  I could care less either way really.  But then I have zero attachment to my name, so perhaps I’m not the best judge… 

    scifiscribbler

    Apparently not all guys are blase - see these three and the others quoted.

    On the other hand… one of the reasons gender coding in society has been so successful has been getting women to police themselves.

    It’s why men don’t give a shit if we turn up to a party in the same clothes, but many women do actually feel awkward.

    It’s why rom-coms tend to have a message saying “Hey, women, settle for this guy and set your dreams aside” despite being aimed at women.

    Traditionally, many cultures have assigned the role of policing these values to women, then quietly educated them that this small, informal power is the only power they wield.

    And so it’s grabbed eagerly; it’s Chinese women who’ve drowned their female children so they can have sons, feet binding is often left to the women, and over here, stuff like reinforcing a patriarchal gender structure has been sold as women’s chance to express power.

    So, yes, women have been taught that certain things emasculate men, and then to go after women who emasculate men.

    Asking yourself on a rational level based on C21st mores how we GOT to this society doesn’t work; it was a power grab sold emotionally; rational processes don’t break it down well, and context matters.

    rosalarian

    Feminism is having a wardrobe malfunction.

    Does your brand of feminism remove barriers for women, or simply move them around? Does is expand options for women, or does it just shift them? You don’t liberate women by forcing them to choose option B instead of option A. What is comfortable for you might not be comfortable for someone else, and it’s entirely possible that what you see as oppressive, other women find comfortable or even downright liberating.

    Before you think the girl in the middle is a strawman, let me tell you I used to be her, back in my misguided youth. I considered myself the standard to which other people should adhere. But that was stupid. It’s not up to me to tell people how to dress, and it’s much nicer to let everyone choose for themselves.

    Some women would feel naked without a veil. Some women would find it restrictive. Some women would feel restricted by a bra. Some women would feel naked without one. Some women would feel restricted by a tight corset. Others love them. Some wear lots of clothes with a corset. Some only wear the corset and nothing else. What makes any article of clothing oppressive is someoneforcing you to wear it. And it’s just as oppressive to force someonenot to wear something that they want to wear.

    hypnovoyeur

    Some people need to learn this…

    Mom pens beautiful letter to Anna Duggar: “I’ll raise [my girls] to think they breathe fire.” 

    Jessica Krammes Kirkland is not a celebrity. On her website, she self-identifies as “a mother of two young daughters” who is “a passionate advocate of education and empowerment for women and the idea of raising strong girls.“ On Thursday at 9:16 p.m., however, Kirkland’s public profile began to rise after she posted a long message on Facebook about Josh and Anna Duggar. In five days, the post has been liked more than 428,000 times and shared more than 235,000 times — upon reading the whole thing, it’s easy to see why.

    micdotcom

    Here’s what politics looks like if you take out the men 

    Out of the 22 people running for president in 2016, only two of them are women. Elle U.K. is confronting this imbalance directly through the magazine’s #MoreWomen campaign, launched on Oct. 1 to celebrate women’s global power. Their eye-opening launch video shows how easy it is to make full rooms seemingly sparse.

    greeneyesandbackstitch

    This is a pretty powerful representation of an issue that needs resolving.

    exec2sec

    The New Order, of course, found a very simple and straightforward means of “resolving” the matter….

    #Exec2Sec  #Demotion Fetish  #Women in Power  #Women Out of Power  #Elle UK

    m--shea

    It really is quite stark, when shown like this. 

    theoncomingcapaldi

    Things were so much simpler before women started stealing all of my favorite things from me. I don’t care what anyone says. Women aren’t and will never be true fans of Doctor Who, Star Trek or any of that. You jumped in because you wanted attention. You became “fans” because suddenly liking sci-fi shows and fantasy became popular. You only want guys to drool over you because you’re girls who “like” geeky stuff. Kindly go jump in a lake and die.

    thetrekkiehasthephonebox

    A woman organized the letter-writing campaign to NBC to save Star Trek when it was on the verge of being cancelled after the first season, and thus enabled the show to continue on for three seasons allowing it to go into syndication and gain the following it did in reruns.

    A woman organized the first ever Star Trek convention, and convinced NASA to donate a truckload full of stuff for said convention thus starting the tradition of Star Trek conventions featuring space for modern science.

    A woman greenlit Star Trek while acting at the head of a major studio, and consistently fought pressure to cancel the show. This same woman was the person who greenlit Mission Impossible and was the first woman to head a major studio.

    A woman wrote many of the most famous TOS episodes, and went on to write on to write episodes of The Animated Series, The Next Generation, and Deep Space Nine.

    Learn your history.

    You think women stole your favorite things? If it weren’t for women, those things wouldn’t even exist, but you probably don’t even know the names of the women who made that possible.

    So much for “infinite diversity in infinite combinations”…

    Who is the fake now?

    donotlookatthedogpark

    i’m just laughing so hard right now bc it’s hitting me that there are geek guys who think that women would actually pretend to like this stuff to cater to guys. like it never really occurred to me the depths of how absolutely fucking stupid that idea is.  ”we appear to have common interests but you still don’t like me so that must mean we don’t actually have common interests and you are not a real fan”. oh my god i just can’t right now. i want to feel offended by the fact that there is an idiot out there trying to tell me what i can and cannot like but i’m just too busy laughing.

    kiriamaya

    Also, a lot of the current fandom terminology we take for granted originated in the Star Trek fandom, specifically Star Trek fanfic. And who were the major driving force behind Star Trek fanfic? Women.

    jhameia

    Earliest spec fic texts in the English-speaking Western world were written by Thomas More (Utopia), Lady Margaret Cavendish (the Blazing World), and Mary Shelley (Frankenstein). Note that there are two women among those names.

    I am so sick of these Fake Geek Guys who don’t even understand the history of the fandom they claim to want to protect.

    startedwellthatsentence

    A WOMAN WAS THE FIRST PRODUCER OF DOCTOR WHO.

    A WOMAN CREATED THE THEME TUNE FOR DOCTOR WHO.

    Are you fucking kidding me? So we can create your favorite things, but it’s impossible for us to be fans of them?

    actuallyalivingsaint

    AHAHAHAHAHAHA YES

    scifiscribbler

    OK, OK, I’m going to let the previous responses deal with the sexism of this.

    THEY HAVEN’T STOLEN SHIT FROM US.

    We can still watch it. If you don’t like the new stuff, you still have the old stuff.

    Which, as noted, women heavily involved.

    You wanna know why you don’t like the new shit so much? Because times have fucking changed. Things WERE simpler then. We didn’t worry about this kinda shit.

    And that’s not a good thing. Give me complicated. Complicated is interesting. Complicated engages. When I’m tired of complicated for a bit I can still go simple.

    micdotcom

    Rose McGowan was fired by her agent for criticizing Hollywood sexism 

    On June 17, McGowan tweeted a casting note for Adam Sandler’s next film. It told actresses to wear a “form-fitting tank that shows off cleavage.” A week later she tweeted she’d been fired. Worse though, is that few have spoken up in her defense. Only The Princess Diaries’ Heather Matarazzo defended her publicly.

    note-a-bear

    Blessings on Rose for outing Sandler

    badass-bharat-deafmuslim-artista

    This is exactly why so many women (especially women of color) in Hollywood are very afraid to speak out against sexism and racism–because they’d get fired (and even blacklisted). Look what happened.

    We support you, Rose.

    conceptblogfromaconcepthuman

    Re-identification of Viking corpses has revealed that half of their warriors were female.

    the best part of this article is how archaeologists used to assume every corpse buried with a sword was male

    dreamerinsilico

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

    m--shea

    The above article is okay, but it contains a link to a different article that’s better, in my opinion:

    image

    We Have Always Fought: Challenging the 'Women, Cattle and Slaves' Narrative

    It links to the same study that this article does, and is much more comprehensive besides. 

    Everyone remember this one?

    Men’s Involvement in Feminism

    There’s a divide among feminists on the issue of men’s involvement in the movement. Some people strongly feel that men should absolutely be a part of the fight for equality, while others reject male involvement and claim that men cannot identify as feminists.

    I stand firmly on the idea that feminism is, as bell hooks puts it, for everybody. I believe that anyone who wants to stand up for gender equality and protect the rights of women and trans folk can be feminists if they choose to identify as such. Others take the identity of a “feminist ally,” which is a compromise for some men who want to help the movement, but not lead it. My belief is that, without men, the feminist movement is going to face more struggles in succeeding. With men involved and actually informed and passionate on these issues, we stand more of a chance to gaining respect and making progress. My ideal for feminism is total inclusion for all groups of people in order to achieve social equality.

    So, what are some things men need to focus on in the movement? Well, cis men experience many different consequences from the patriarchy than women or trans individuals experience, but there is a lot they can do within feminism to help themselves and others live happier and more fulfilling lives. Some of the key aspects of men’s involvement are outlined below.

    Check Your Privilege

    Privilege and oppression can coincide and are not completely independent ideas. A cis man can have gender privilege but face racial oppression; a trans woman can have racial privilege but face gender oppression; a cis woman can face gender and racial oppression but have a class privilege; etc. 

    Privilege is not a dirty word. Most of us have some form of it and the first thing we need to do is recognize our privileges. We need to be able to evaluate what this does for us, and how life would be if we did not have these privileges. Only after recognizing it can we begin to learn the perspectives of others.

    Men’s first step into feminism means taking a look at their social context and recognizing that they benefit from the oppression of others. This should be done without guilt, but also without question or excuses. Privilege is not something to be blamed for, but it needs to be realized in order for any insight to others’ oppression. Men need to recognize that we do live in a patriarchy that generally values men over women, but also has confines for men, as well. More on that later.

    Learn About Enthusiastic Consent

    Consent is rarely focused on in public sex education and unless a man is friends with women or other feminists that discuss the idea of “enthusiastic” consent, there may be some confusion on what consent really is.

    Consent is a sober and enthusiastic agreement of an adult in a sound and stable mindset. Let’s break that down further:

    Sober:Some people honestly don’t know that sex with an intoxicated person is a crime. It is. The law defines consent to be within the legal limits of intoxication. This means if a person is drunk or on illegal drugs, they cannot consent to sexual activity. Without getting into the ethical conversation behind intoxicated sex, consider just the facts in order to protect yourself. If a partner is saying “yes” to sex, but is intoxicated, that does not remove your responsibility to abstain. In addition, consent cannot be given prior to intoxication since it is an on-going concept. This means that if you have sex with an intoxicated person–even if they agreed to it before hand or say they want it at the time, it is still legally considered rape. This means if that person wake up the next morning and decides to press charges, you can be arrested and convicted of a crime.

    Long story short, don’t have sex with drunk people. For your own sake, if anything.

    Enthusiastic:Men are often socialized to “listen for the no” when it comes to sex. The idea is that if your partner says “no,” they are not consenting. However, consent is a little more complicated than this. 

    An absence of a “no” does not equal a yes. Many times, when we’re nervous or don’t want to disappoint our partners, we will stay quiet instead of saying “no” out of fear or anxiety. As a sexual partner, we all have the responsibility to check in with our partners in any time of doubt. If they seem upset or unusually quiet, ask explicitly, “Do you want to do this?" 

    Instead of only listening for the "no,” also listen for the “yes!”. Communication is super important and even taking the time to check in with your partner is going to mean all the difference to their well-being. When it doubt, don’t have sex. You should always have a clear and explicit green light for sex to take place.

    Adult:This one is pretty simple–obey the law and don’t fuck anyone under the age of consent. In the US, this ranges from ages 16-18 depending on what state you’re in. It differs in other countries, as well. Check your local laws on the age of consent to know for sure.

    If you’re unsure of how old someone is, ask. If they look young or you suspect they’re lying about their age, don’t have sex with them. You do not want to risk a felony charge on a one-night stand with a minor who lies about their age.

    Sound/Stable Mind:If someone is upset or mentally impaired in any way, don’t have sex with them. Having sex with someone in distress is really crossing a line, even if they say they want it. If they’re genuinely upset, this isn’t a healthy time for sex. Work out any problems before engage in sexual activity to avoid unstable reactions and crossing unwanted boundaries. It’s pretty easy to tell if someone is in a sound mind or not. Use your best judgement to determine if they are stable enough to consent to sex–and again, in times of doubt, don’t have sex with them. Be supportive of them instead, help them work out their issues, clear their head, and maybe revisit the idea of sex when they are in a healthy mindset.

    Challenge the “Man Box”

    The “man box” is the unwritten regulation of masculinity–the confining standards that men must live up to that is policed by patriarchal system we live in. It’s the phrase, “Real men don’t cry.” It’s the fear of being seen as gay–or worse, as a woman.

    It’s difficult for men to break out of this box because everyone participates in adhering to these standards. Women and men alike perpetuate these ideas and keep cycling the confines of masculinity. However, once a man is able to stand up to these norms, it is easier for other men to follow and a domino effect can take place.

    Challenge the way you convey your masculinity. Stand up for the right to express your emotions or to enjoy stereotypically “feminine” things. Talk to your friends about health, mental health, and consent. Have discussions about feminist issues and challenge the ways people react to your behaviour. Don’t use words like “pussy” or “faggot” to describe signs of weakness. Rather, recognize that you might have your own weaknesses and you should be able to talk openly about them in a safe environment with friends instead of trying to prove your gender by demasculinizing someone else.

    Be a good bystander! This is so important. If someone is getting shamed for acting in a “feminine” way, defend them! Stand up against sexist jokes or racist comments. Don’t let your friend take that drunk girl home from the bar. Be actively supportive of friends who come out as LGBT. Be a good listener to friends who need your help. Look out for your friends in a way that helps everyone break out of these gender roles. Validation within groups of men is so important when dealing with emotional problems. Having a support system of other men that can discuss problems openly can lead to a decrease in violent behaviour or other harmful consequences of keeping emotions bottled up inside this “man box”.

    Have Resources Available

    Having resources for those who need them is super important. In addition to national hotlines, you should also keep track of local organizations in your area. Keep a post-it note of these contacts in your wallet in case someone comes to you with something you cannot resolve on your own. Being a good resource is really useful to those in need, regardless of gender.

    Some important numbers to look up:

  • Local police station.
  • Sexual assault crisis centers in the area.
  • Closest Planned Parenthood or sexual wellness centers.
  • University numbers, if you’re on a college campus (campus police, wellness center, health center, women’s center, LGBT center, etc.)
  • Domestic violence hotlines or centers.
  • Contacts for support groups in the area.
  • Rehabilitation centers.
  • LGBT organizations.
  • Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-7233

    Sexual Assault Hotline (US): 1-800-656-HOPE

    Understand that in order to be a good feminist, you don’t need to have all the answers, but you should learn how to be a good resource for people who need emotional support. provide unconditional support to those you suspect have suffered a trauma. 

    Learn how to identify signs of domestic abuse and sexual assault, and let them know you believe them, are here for them, and will do anything it takes to get them help.

    Be Aware

    Be aware of your effect on women. No, not your radiating glow of irresistible masculinity–quite the opposite.

    Consider the term “Schrödinger’s Rapist”. Schrödinger’s Rapist is the idea that women who walk alone at night have to be suspecting of strange men around them. We are conditioned to carry our keys or our mace and be prepared for an attack. Since we cannot see into your mind or know your intentions, we have to assume you are a risk in order to protect ourselves. This is nothing against you, this is just the way we have learned to act due to the alarming rates of sexual assault, unfortunately.

    This means that things you may consider of good intention can be perceived as dangerous to women. Perhaps you see a woman walking home alone in the dark and want to make sure she gets home safe. If you follow her, you will only alarm her more. Maybe you want to offer a ride home to your coworker and they refuse. Understand that maybe they don’t feel totally comfortable and they would rather take care of themselves. 

    The idea here is that you understand that it’s an unfortunate fact that some women have to fear the men around them–even if they know them. Because the rates of sexual assault, even committed by friends or acquaintance, is astronomically high, these hesitations or “unreasonable” fears is not an insult to you, but simply a survival tactic. Understand that your presence around scared women may make them even more uncomfortable, and that approaching people you do not know in dangerous situations may frighten others.

    Accepting Criticism

    This one is really difficult for a lot of men in feminism, and even women of privilege in dealing with race or LGBT-sensitive issues. People don’t like to accept criticism when they honestly believe they are being a good ally. However, often times our own privileges create blind spots to certain issues and cause problems when we try to help.

    If a woman tells you there is a problem with the way you are conducting yourself as a feminist or feminist ally, listen to her. If a trans person tells you you’re being transphobic, listen to them. If a POC is telling you that you’re acting with microagressions that are racist, listen to them. Hear them out and discuss the problem like a mature adult. Don’t deny what happened and don’t make excuses. Listen to what they say and if you truly don’t understand their reasoning, ask them to discuss it further with you. Learn from your mistakes.

    Chances are women, POC, and LGBT folk know more about sexism, racism, and homophobia/transphobia than you do–not because they are better than you, but because they face these issues on a constant basis every day and these problems directly effect them. On this basis alone, you need to hear them out and address their concerns in order to be a good ally. Put their opinions and concerns first–then discuss your own feelings.

    Vote

    Try to educate yourself on political issues around elections and use your best judgement to make electoral choices that benefit those suffering from oppression. Voting for someone who supports access to abortion and birth control, who fights for trans rights, and who is making positive changes in the community for minorities and those of a lower income is really beneficial to the feminist movement.

    If you’re not up to date on politics, talk to your feminist friends about who they’re voting for and what they think the biggest issues are. Get input from different people who face oppression and make a more-informed decision to elect someone who will change the way our society treats gender, racial, and sexual minorities for the better.

    Consider feminist issues when voting in local, state, and federal elections. All facets of the government matter and even voting for a local politician with progressive attitudes can make for great changes in your community.

    xx SF

    anti-feminism-pro-equality

    What if this had been reverse? What if the girl dumped him and then he smashed all of her CDS or her cellphone and laptop? How would society react? By calling him abusive and controlling.

    See, female on male abuse is seen as funny or comical. you see those commercials with the wife throwing the boyfriends stuff out the window. IF the genders were reversed, everyone would see it and call it out for what it really is…abuse.

    Abuse is not funny in any way shape or form.

    This is why we don’t need feminism.

    miso-soup-gyny

    This mother fucker also owes him a fuckton of money.

    johnnysjetpack

    thats more than 600$ worth of games!

    that’s a fucking felony, theft and destruction of property. call the law on the psycho bitch!

    sarcasticallyfabulous

    “This is why we don’t need feminism.”

    Actually, it’s why we DO need feminism. Because feminism isn’t about making women superior and putting men on the bottom. Feminism IS about making everyone equal. The “comedy” behind male abuse is a result of the patriarchy, which is exactly what feminism is trying to destroy. The patriarchy mocks weakness in men, so when men get abused, it’s not taken seriously. It’s a joke, it’s funny, it’s no big deal. “You’re a man, suck it up.”

    That’s not what feminists want. If you think that’s what we want, then you you’re not talking to the right feminists. It’s about equality, NOT just reversing the roles, understand?

    It’s not okay to abuse women, it’s not okay to abuse men, it’s not okay to abuse ANYONE. That’s the fucking point. The point isn’t “whaa it’s time for women to get to be mean you need to lean your place”. The point is gender inequality is stupid and unhelpful to everyone.

    So if you don’t like the way men are treated, don’t hate on feminists. Join them. We don’t like it either.

    mystuffstuff

    Thank you.

    uninhibitedandunrepentant

    It’s not okay to abuse women, it’s not okay to abuse men, it’s not okay to abuse ANYONE.

    socialismartnature

    Rape, By The Numbers.

    sarcasticxfantastic

    everyone needs to see this graphic

    spankmethorin

    I linked this to my guy friends who always use the excuse of “What about the false reports? It’s not fair that innocent men are accused of a crime they didn’t commit”

    2 out of 1000. 0.02% Of all rapes are false.

    m--shea

    0.2%, actually. 

    Still a very tiny proportion, though.