@m--shea
Shea's Domain
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Last update
2020-01-29 04:34:35
    snow-fury-deactivated20170226

    Boys, protect girls. Call people out when they make offensive jokes. Stand up to those who treat girls like objects. Walk a girl home if she feels unsafe. Listen to them and be considerate of their feelings. Destroy that myth that women are inferior.

    Girls, protect boys. Call people out when they make fun of a boy for showing emotion. Stand up to those who tell boys to ‘man up.’ Support boys who enjoy feminine things. Destroy the myth that men can’t be victims and that women can’t be predators.

    Boys, protect boys. Protect your bros from violent relationships. Comfort your bros when they need somebody. Stand up for your bros who are ridiculed for not wanting/liking sex. Destroy the myth that two men can’t be close without it being “gay.”

    Girls, protect girls. Defend sisters who enjoy having sex. Stand up to those who define sisters for what they wear. Don’t judge your sister’s worth from how many boyfriend’s she’s had. Destroy the myth that girls have to constantly compete with each other.

    Protect everyone from the patriarchy. 

    lascumz

    Hallelujah.

    zodiac--signs

    Fucking important. Idc.

    Highlights:

    [The] dilemma extended far beyond the well-publicized abusive working conditions at Foxconn, the Taiwanese manufacturing giant that assembles Apple’s iPhone, along with countless other consumer electronic devices. Labor and environmental abuses are endemic throughout the global electronics industry, from the mining of the minerals used to make the basic components, through their assembly and all the way up to (and beyond) the disposal of last year’s obsolete model. There’s no getting around the hard truth: right now, there is no such thing as an “ethical smartphone.” Or, for that matter, an ethical flat-screen TV, digital camera or any kind of personal computer.

    there is “no ideal solution.” For every smartphone manufacturer, “the model of globalized production is fundamentally similar.”

    So if you are looking for shopping recommendations, you will be disappointed. But that doesn’t necessarily imply despair — or that there isn’t any chance at all of improving working conditions for electronics workers around the world. If enough people organize and apply pressure, anything’s possible. And ironically, billions of people around the world are now in possession of the most powerful tools for facilitating grass-roots organization ever invented: ethically compromised smartphones!

    At the website for MakeITfair, a “European project” dedicated to exposing labor abuses and environmental problems in electronics manufacturing (the “IT” stands for “information technology”), curious visitors can delve as deeply as they like into reports documenting woes at every step of the global supply chain. Mistreatment of coltan miners in the Congo. Labor abuses in the production of game consoles in China, mobile phones in India, and digital cameras in Vietnam. To close out the cycle, there is even an investigation of the health hazards involving in dumping old computers and other e-waste in Ghana.

    Reviewing the information is a troubling experience. As Auret van Heerden, president of the Fair Labor Association has said, “none of us want to be accessories after the fact in a human rights abuse in the global supply chain.” But escaping from the crime scene is hard. No matter how enlightened a consumer you might intend to be, outside of retiring to a cave and subsisting on a diet of nuts and berries there is virtually no way to avoid getting trapped in the web of global exploitation complicity. Phones, video games, TVs — heck, there’s a non-negligible chance that your coffee maker has a circuit board connected to Congo coltan mining profits that subsidize rape and murder in Africa and sweatshop child labor somewhere in Asia. How’s that for a wakeup call?

    [bolding and underlining added]

    It’s an unfortunate fact that there’s basically nothing you can do in today’s world that doesn’t benefit terrible people that exploit others, not even put on clothes or eat. But now that it’s been brought to your attention, there are steps that you can take to reduce how much misery you’re personally subsidizing. 

    For electronics (like the ones you’re using to read this), you can use this 2016 Free Ethical Electronics Guide. It includes a simplified version if you don’t have the time to spend on the more comprehensive one. 

    For products in general, you can use the Ethical Consumer website, which can be personalized “in a way that accurately reflects the issues that are most important to you - be that animal testing, climate change, sweatshop labour, GM crops, nuclear power or whatever.”

    Hopefully, now that it has been brought to your attention, you will actually change your shopping habits in a way that can reduce these kinds of horrible behavior.

    gingah-ninjah

    Seriously tho Did everyone just conveniently forget that James Deen is a rapist or wtf…????

    the-ladythc

    Yeah I’m getting real tired of seeing his shit on my dash. Esp when people post his rape fantasy porn. And it’s always women I see reblogging it. Like “look at this rapist pretending to rape someone on camera,” fuck I don’t want to see that…

    mirahxox

    I HATE rape fantasy to begin with but like People I follow are working with him and I’m like ??????????? WHY???????? Why would you work with a promote a rapist?? Fuck that.

    the-ladythc

    Yeah it honestly blows my mind that he’s still doing porn. He should be ostracized from the porn community, what the hell…

    mirahxox

    I completely agree ESPECIALLY by other GodsGirls, I feel like.

    And I’ve seen a few people be like “but he’s so attractive” and I’m like …….and????

    juicy--kitty

    He also wasn’t stripped of his 33 nominations and was visiting the Adult Entertainment Expo where Stoya was supposed to host a panel on consent but she opted out on going (wonder why) so the consent panel was cancelled as well. It’s really disheartening that there hasn’t been enough repercussions for what he’s done, even though from mostly what I’ve read he can’t get a contract with any other company so he’s only really left to work with his company now so I guess there is that??????????? But he still won two awards out of the 33 and everyone is just okay with someone who’s been a predator on many content creators is still being allowed in the community and at expos.

    m--shea

    I’m honestly unsure if it’s the right thing to do, but my current mindset can be summed up as: he’s a terrible person, and he’s not getting a penny of my money, but why should I let the fact that he’s scum get in the way of otherwise great pornography? I just shift my focus and mentally blot his face out of the scene, as with any number of other distracting and distasteful details in pictures. 

    I don’t know, perhaps I’m just rationalizing.

    mirahxox

    Well first of all you should be paying for all of your pornography so this doesn’t really work at all? Secondly, I don’t know how you rationalize porn as “great” if it involves a rapist.

    m--shea

    @juicy--kitty: Fair enough.

    @mirahxox: I suppose that I should have clarified. I do not go out and pirate pornography--all of the porn that I was referring to is on Tumblr. I’m having trouble finding a phrasing that doesn’t sound defensive or pissy, but generally speaking, people do not pay for porn that is posted on Tumblr (unless you want content behind paywalls, commissioned stuff, etc.) so if I reblog posts that have him in it, it does not feed him money. Do you object to all of the free pornography posted on Tumblr? As for your second point, I said “otherwise great,” as in, “I’m quite enjoying the picture until I notice his face.” Again, I’m having trouble with non-aggressive phrasing, but I was pretty explicitly saying that the pornography is great except for his presence. (Also, I’m human. We can--and do--rationalize all sorts of crazy and stupid ideas. Just look at America’s current political clusterfuck. That doesn’t make it okay, hence my uncertainty above, but it does make it more understandable.)

    gingah-ninjah

    Seriously tho Did everyone just conveniently forget that James Deen is a rapist or wtf…????

    the-ladythc

    Yeah I’m getting real tired of seeing his shit on my dash. Esp when people post his rape fantasy porn. And it’s always women I see reblogging it. Like “look at this rapist pretending to rape someone on camera,” fuck I don’t want to see that…

    mirahxox

    I HATE rape fantasy to begin with but like People I follow are working with him and I’m like ??????????? WHY???????? Why would you work with a promote a rapist?? Fuck that.

    the-ladythc

    Yeah it honestly blows my mind that he’s still doing porn. He should be ostracized from the porn community, what the hell…

    mirahxox

    I completely agree ESPECIALLY by other GodsGirls, I feel like.

    And I’ve seen a few people be like “but he’s so attractive” and I’m like …….and????

    juicy--kitty

    He also wasn’t stripped of his 33 nominations and was visiting the Adult Entertainment Expo where Stoya was supposed to host a panel on consent but she opted out on going (wonder why) so the consent panel was cancelled as well. It’s really disheartening that there hasn’t been enough repercussions for what he’s done, even though from mostly what I’ve read he can’t get a contract with any other company so he’s only really left to work with his company now so I guess there is that??????????? But he still won two awards out of the 33 and everyone is just okay with someone who’s been a predator on many content creators is still being allowed in the community and at expos.

    m--shea

    I’m honestly unsure if it’s the right thing to do, but my current mindset can be summed up as: he’s a terrible person, and he’s not getting a penny of my money, but why should I let the fact that he’s scum get in the way of otherwise great pornography? I just shift my focus and mentally blot his face out of the scene, as with any number of other distracting and distasteful details in pictures. 

    I don’t know, perhaps I’m just rationalizing.

    What I Mean When I Say I’m Sex-Positive

  • I think freedom of sexuality is something that we all need and very few of us have
  • I think sexual pleasure is a legitimate thing to want and ethically pursue
  • I do not judge people for the (consensual) sex that they have or want
  • I will not tolerate slut-shaming
  • I will not tolerate hatred of people based on gender or orientation (including asexual)
  • I will not tolerate hatred of sex workers
  • I believe comprehensive, honest, non-judgmental sex education is necessary for public health and happiness
  • I think understanding of sexual consent–what it is, why it matters–is sorely lacking in society and crucially important
  • I reject preconceptions of what kind of sexuality a person should have, whether these preconceptions are based on gender, age, culture, disability, survivor status, or basically anything else
  • I value people’s individual freedom of choice in determining their sex lives (including the choices not to have sex)
  • What I Don’t Mean

  • Everyone should have sex
  • Everyone should have kinky, non-monogamous, exhibitionistic, pansexual sex
  • Accepting someone’s sexuality means you have to participate in it, watch them engage in it, or hear about it in detail
  • Nothing related to sex is ever hurtful for anyone
  • Feminism should be all about sex
  • Sex fixes everything
  • thinkivykink-deactivated2019121

    Guys, Stoya just basically put everything on the line here. I really admire her courage, and I know what’s ahead for her is going to suck like crazy.

    It’s scary to me that people can hide behind pretending to be progressive and feminist, can use these labels as a disguise for some fucked up stuff. I’ve encountered two people in my kink experience that have wound up to be rapists masquerading as feminists, and it’s not only fucking terrifying, but it’s even harder for survivors’ experiences to be viewed as legitimate. It’s also profoundly fucked up that people, like Deen, use feminism as a tool to get victims to trust them.

    So I stand with Stoya.

    beggingforpermission

    I’m so sorry to hear this happened to her :-(

    m--shea

    This is still so horrifying. 

    mysterywriteher-deactivated2016

    Please don’t compare me to James Deen anymore

    The sick thing was, I was about to make a new post last night. The gif featured James Deen. Then I read Stoya’s tweet and felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t make any posts last night after reading that. It might take a while to write any posts at all, honestly. I want to go through and delete every post that I’ve made with Deen in it …and that would be a lot of posts. 

    And the other thing that made me sick last night? I saw a lot of rape fetishization on my dash. I saw guys use the word rape as an adjective for sex, writing horrid captions under their gifs. I saw tons of reblogs for those captions. I saw women speak affectionately for that kind of language being used, wishing it was being done to them.

    I don’t care of it’s fantasy talk or not. Don’t fetishize rape. Don’t wish that on yourself and don’t talk about doing it to others. Don’t normalize it. Don’t sexualize it. It’s unnecessary. Use your imagination. Use other words to describe rough sex. In the very least, make sure to indicate that you’re writing a scene speaking to a particular fetish – consensual non-consent. Because otherwise you are a terrible, horrid human being that supports one of the worst crimes that can be committed. If I see it, I’ll report you, drop you and call you out for being an asshole. There aren’t any excuses for this. Say whatever you want – if you are actively participating in this kind of behavior, you’re normalizing and sexualizing one of the worst things you could possibly do to someone, which pretty much makes you the worst type of human garbage imaginable. Stop.

    countyfairkindofrare

    I appreciate that you are speaking up for what you believe is an important cause. Most of this post I agree with.

    However, as a victim of sexual assault, I choose to participate in rape-roleplay within the confines of my relationships to help me cope with what happened to me. I will do whatever it takes (as long as it isn’t at the expense of others, obviously) to come to terms with what multiple people have done to me. It isn’t your place, any man’s place, or any woman’s place to tell me how to cope with that trauma. I will not stop and I am most certainly not human garbage because of how I choose to handle the emotional scars I’ve been left with as a result of multiple sexual assaults. 

    Except for one person, the people who have assaulted me have been men. There isn’t a fucking chance in hell I would take advice from another man about how I’m handling my body and my sexuality in an inappropriate manner. 

    It isn’t your business what I or any other woman do with their body, during sex, or within their sexual relationships. You don’t get to tell us we aren’t using our bodies in a way you do not approve of. Our bodies are not for you to approve of. The sexual activities we choose to engage in or not to engage in are not for you to approve of. It matters not one bit whether you like it. A lot of people might think that sounds harsh, but that’s because women aren’t supposed to be forthright with men. We’re supposed to just nod or tell them what they want to hear. The fact of the matter is, how other people fuck is none of your business so long as it isn’t hurting other people. None. Of. Your. Business.

    How about you speak up about men raping and the silent approval rapists get when other men laugh at rape jokes or make objectifying comments about women without their consent? How about you spend more fucking energy not dictating how women should be having sex and instead make this about what men need to be doing to improve the current rape culture climate? Maybe take a few moments to talk about the sanctity of safe words and consent directed at the men in the lifestyle who seem to have a difficult time grasping those concepts? How about you not make sweeping generalizations about what is morally acceptable and unacceptable about something you don’t seem to be all that educated on? Morality is not always universal. 

    You’ve not lived my life. You were not present in my body and mind and heart during those sexual assaults, therefore, you do not get to tell how to cope.

    mysterywriteher

    Morality may not be universal, but we can all agree that rape is wrong, yes? And that our society does not do enough to prevent rape from happening, prevent it from being normalized. Right? And that spreading the concept of rape as normal in a public form like Tumblr is something that needs to be dealt with carefully. If not, it goes beyond sexualizing rape and normalizes it to an unhealthy degree.  I’m sorry you felt that my response was critical of you and your sexuality, but please note that I did not condemn rape roleplay in the slightest in my post, nor was I dictating how you or any woman should express your sexuality or deal with your abuse. In the very least, that was not my intention.  What I was attempting to do was call attention to the gross amount of sexualization concerning rape on Tumblr, a majority of which comes from men and a majority of which I’ve seen is bent strictly towards male rape fantasies.  If you’re roleplaying rape, you’re not sexualizing it in the same way as these posts I’m talking about. The posts are undoubtedly making light of real rape, sexualizing real rape. Maybe that wasn’t clear because I failed to provide specific examples (I don’t wish to provide these posts with any traffic). But as I said before, indicating that the intent of these posts is roleplaying is the very least one can do because it makes a clear distinction between fantasy and reality. I don’t believe that’s too much to ask and I don’t believe that’s me, as a male, dictating your sexuality. If the only way you can get off is to spread the belief that the sexualization of rape is a normal, positive thing? Too bad. It’s wrong, it’s gross and I have no sympathy for you. That’s not what you’re talking about, though. You’re talking about sexualizing the roleplay and power dynamics that come with consensual non-consent. All I’m saying is that for that sexualization to be a healthy one in the confines of a public forum like Tumblr, that distinction needs to be very, very clear. 

    ranirati

    MWH has spoken about many of the things the commenter mentioned before on his blog quite a bit, and he always makes an effort to help people who have suffered rape or sexual assault and to help people identify and avoid it when it seems apparent but not for certain. Given the circumstances though, I understand why the commenter would respond the way she did. She’s right; no one has the right to dictate what she does in her bedroom as long as it’s legal and consensual. And he’s right; the existence of consensual non consent has made an even larger grey area in the topic of rape and sexual assault for some, while showing others the nuances of that distinction, and it does need to be clarified for those who are confused or who are wrongfully taking advantage of that grey area.

    All of that said, the news about James Deen shook a lot of people. It triggered a fear in me that I didn’t expect. James Deen is a professional in an industry where consent is key. It always is, but when your work consists of having sex with people, it’s that much more important that you explicitly understand and respect it. Stoya was previously raped and was actually forced into sex work, which I’m sure he knew. They were in a romantic relationship together and she trusted him with more than just her body. And he betrayed that and knowingly took advantage of her. There are no excuses to be made here for him. He is disgusting and cruel and heartless and a criminal.

    And yet, a lot of people are saying she deserved it, or calling her a liar, or bringing up the fact that she’s a porn star as if that means constant and implicit consent. So I’m glad MWH decided to make this post because some people clearly don’t understand what rape is and what rape does. He’s also the only one of the 20-30 porn bloggers I follow, some of whom enjoy consensual non consent, who took the time to address this. I appreciate that.

    leatherlacedbassblocklist

    @daddyandana - he’s a predator, gross :/

    Holy shit why is a 40 yr old with someone who’s 15 oh my god thanks for pointing that one out @dirtylarge @blockunderagelittles @whotoblock @keeping-kinksters-safe this needs to be stopped

    queerkinkykitten

    This literally made my heart stop. This is why underagers should not be allowed in the community, to protect them from these types of predators.

    queerkinkykitten

    Oh my god and if you actually scroll down he’s encouraging her drug abuse and i believe an eating disorder someone needs to help this poor girl

    leatherlacedbassblocklist

    Minors don’t know better clearly. They’re young,impressionable, and trusting. They think ppl like that actually have their best interest in mind like no the opposite child…

    They also steal photos which in this case is the least of our worries. That blog is scary and manipulative and detrimental someone please out this “couple”

    m--shea

    What the fuck.

    loganmcowen

    Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

    Of fucking course

    What sick bastard doesn’t

    xaldien

    “You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.

    loganmcowen

    Yowch, disgusting.

    khaleesinotprincess

    That pain is no less relevant when it’s felt by man.

    kittencrush

    Anyone who says men can’t be abused or just need to ’ man up’ I have a message for you. You have OBVIOUSLY never felt the pain that they go through and you need to just shut your mouth.

    masterprofessor-deactivated2017

    Professor, I'm a new sub and found a Dom really quickly. But Sir wants more than I'm ready to give Him. At least right now. During our last session I got scared enough I used the safe word. He went a little longer and then asked me if I was sure I wanted to say that. I told Him yes, and then He made me feel pretty guilty so I did what He wanted but I don't know it just doesn't feel right. What should I have done?

    Okay, so there’s a lot I want to say here, and I think it’s best to do so by recording my thought process as I read through this message:

    “Professor, I’m a new sub and found a Dom really quickly.”

    I can’t say I’m surprised, especially if you got on Fet, CM, Tumblr, or whatever and said anything remotely like “So I’m a new sub ~gigglez~ and I need a Dom.” That’s like throwing chum in the shark tank. The beasts love fresh (innocent and ideally ignorant) meat. So yeah, I have no doubt a predator … ahem, sorry, an eager “training Dom” … found you quite quickly indeed.

    “But Sir wants more than I’m ready to give Him. At least right now.”

    At this point, dear anon, your dashboard should probably be lighting up with warning lights. I know mine is on your behalf. If you’re not ready, you need to tell him. And he needs to respect that. You then move forward in open and honest communication.

    “During our last session I got scared enough I used the safe word.”

    I’m sorry that it got too intense for you. Even with a very experienced Dom and plenty of preparation this kind of thing can happen. Emotions can surge, memories can flood out in surprising ways, or any number of other unexpected events can occur that require the application of brakes. It happens. It’s okay. It need not be the end of anything but that momentary exchange of power. So don’t stress it. The really good thing here is that you were able to use a safe word and thereby put an immediate stop to what was happening …

    “He went a little longer —”

    Wait, what?

    No.

    Oh hell no.

    Safe word doesn’t mean “pump a few more times.” A safe word means stop. Now. Period. End of sentence. Non-negotiable. Crank the emergency break. Pull the parachute. S-T-O-P.

    This is not a gray area. This isn’t subject to discussion. … Oh shit please don’t tell me he tried to talk you into continuing …

    “— and then asked me if I was sure I wanted to say that. I told Him yes —”

    Atta girl. But he’s a total douchebag for making you repeat it. You should never need to repeat a safe word. You should never need to defend its usage. It is your word of power, and when spoken it should be as the voice of whatever god or gods y’all believe in.

    “— and then He made me feel pretty guilty —”

    … so you grabbed his John Thomas and gave it a Silly Putty stretch. Or you squeezed his balls until you felt something pop. Please tell me that’s how this ends. Please. Because at the very least someone needs to kick this manipulating fucker in the testes. Submission is a gift, not a blank check.

    “— so I did what He wanted but I don’t know it just doesn’t feel right.”

    Fucking hell. Of course it doesn’t feel right. Because it is NOT right. Not at all.

    Listen, what separates BDSM kink from physical abuse and sexual assault can be summed up in a single word: CONSENT. And some dickhead’s “I bullied her into yes” is in no fucking way the same as consent.

    “What should I have done?”

    Look, I wasn’t there. I don’t know if you were in a physical position to be able to boot this fucknut’s fucknuts into his vacant chest cavity — which is the sort of thing he deserves. But we can’t redo the past anyway. So with the usual caveats regarding taking advice from an internet stranger who knows little of the full scope of the situation, here’s what I would suggest you do now:

    Drop this guy like the rotten meat he is. Drop him, seal the bag, carry it out to the curbside bin, put the lid on it when you’re done, and then walk away with your head held high, without a glance back or a second thought.

    He is not a Dominant. He is an abuser who uses the excuse of Dominance to further his abuse of (presumably) young women. He does not respect you, he does not protect you.

    Frankly, this should have ended at “he went a little longer” — because fuck no. The core of D/s is trust, and if he cannot be trusted to stop with the utterance of your safe word, he simply cannot be trusted. That he then guilted a new sub into foregoing her every impulse to stop — that he fucking manipulated you so he could finish whatever he was doing with your body … Just no.

    No no no.

    Not a Dominant. Not a human being. Not someone you should be with.

    There are other fish in the sea, anon. It can be hard to find them — I think it’s true that there are more subs than Doms, and it seems like the numbers are getting more lopsided all the time — but the right man, a good man, is surely out there somewhere. Don’t give up your search. Don’t settle for this poor excuse of a parrot dropping.

    And please don’t let this experience taint BDSM for you. It may be that this lifestyle isn’t for you — it certainly isn’t for everyone — but I do not think you can use this very wrong experience to judge it.

    Last, let me reiterate that I am truly sorry you had to experience this. Get help if you are having trouble coping with it. Talking to folks can be scary, but it is almost invariably worth it. If nothing else, connect with some fellow subs in order to share the stories of the road. I’d suggest looking in particular for the intelligent and emotionally mature ones — a number of whom might follow this blog — who recognize that this lifestyle isn’t a kill-or-be-killed rat race, that their victory does not mean your loss.

    Whatever you do, I wish you good fortune and well-being.

    subgirlygirl

    Spot on. Please reblog.

    daddys-bliss

    Exactly! 💋

    sexslavefantasy

    There are so many good lines in here.  lol.

    But seriously, this happens at an alarming frequency.  Sadly there are more subs than Doms (at least in my experience), and there are even fewer good Doms than jackasses like this anon’s ‘Dom’.

    It’s Doms like this that give BDSM a bad name and make a rich, fan fiction writer become, well, rich. 50 Shades did so well partly because this is how main stream society and wannabee doms think bdsm goes…  It’s not…

    You’re better of being a single sub than having a bad ‘Dom’ (read douchebag abuser)

    sexslavefantasy

    Reblogging because this is so goddamn important.  There are a lot of new subs out there being taken advantage of through no fault of their own.  Please inform new subs they can ALWAYS say no.

    babyfun01

    Very important! ~pet

    thekittencouturier

    This is such an important read for all of my sub customers - stay safe!

    sfwlittlekittydomme

    This may not be sfw but it is tremendously important

    m--shea

    In case you haven’t seen this yet, @toodomforyou

    muffinass

    and in that moment, the entire movie theater burst into tears

    death-limes

    i think this was the moment that made most of us despise umbridge more than voldemort

    castielcampbell

    most of us?! don’t you mean ALL of us?? I don’t think even Voldemort liked this bitch!

    mlletimelord

    No one likes Umbridge.

    iminmypants

    I heard, one time, a dementor kissed her and IT died

    oldfuckingsport

    Voldemort committed genocide, but Umbridge dared to be female while she abused her power. 

    all-four-cheekbones

    The point isn’t that Umbridge was worse than Voldemort; it’s that everyone hates her more. And I think it has nothing to do with her being a woman and everything with being the sort of cruel most of us have actually experienced.

    I mean, look at Voldemort. He’s basically Wizard Hitler, which is, obviously, an incredibly terrible thing to be. But most people—especially the younger people in Harry Potter’s target audience—have not had their parents murdered by a xenophobic cult leader. Nor have they fought for their lives against giant snakes, been kidnapped for dark rituals, or watched numerous friends die in front of them. Voldemort’s crimes are numerous, but they’re distant and fantastical, like hearing about a serial killer on the news.

    But they have had that one teacher who inflicts extra punishments just because they don’t like you. They’ve complained to parents and authorities only to be ignored. They’ve sat through pointless classes and been silenced when they criticize. Umbridge is that teacher we all hated because she made our lives miserable and we were powerless to stop her. And as we grow out of school, there are still people in positions of power who act like her. The manager who denies your schedule requests and penalizes you for invented infractions. That customer who complains to corporate because their scam didn’t work, and the corporate decision to listen to their story. Cops performing illegal searches because they know you don’t have any proof.

    Yes, torturing and killing numerous people is worse than terrorizing a handful of schoolchildren, but Voldemort is the bad guy in a fairy tale. Umbridge is personal.

    beccabummie

    *drops the mic*

    fuchsimeon

    Voldemort is the villain we never hope to face.

    Umbridge is the villain we face every day.

    relahvant

    thank you all-four-cheekbones some people on this website need to realise not everything is a matter of sexism or gender discrimination omg

    sazquatch

    Yeah forget all this bullshit. Snape was abusive, and petty, and small. He was a villain of the sort we are faced with in schools, in hospitals, in the workplace. He was genocidal. He was discriminatory, and he took pleasure in expressing cruelty towards those he didn’t like, and elevating pupils he favoured. That is relatable, and common in unpleasant people we have to deal with in our everyday lives. Despite all of that, half the fandom fawns over him because he was in ‘love’ (more like pathetic, selfish infatuation), anyway whatever. We are expected to forgive him, to find him a hero. We are expected to think he’s brave, when he was an abusive liar. The point is, the fact the whole fandom hates Umbridge, but gives Snape a free fucking pass, proves that yes, this is about sexism. This IS about how female villains are demonised far more than their male counterparts. This IS about misogyny, and this is a problem. So shut the fuck up with your dismissiveness.

    nankingdecade

    I respectfully disagree with the feminist interpretation. Umbridge is such a despicable villain not because she’s a woman who dared to abuse her power, but because of the banality of her evil. She is the Eichmann to Voldemort’s Hitler, the petty bureaucrat who makes genocide possible. We discover that she is motivated not by ideology (Voldemort) or revenge (Snape), but by institutional loyalty. We can almost imagine her defense before she’s sent to Azkaban for her crimes against humanity: “I was just following orders.” That is infinitely more terrifying than a mopey middle-aged man who hasn’t outgrown his emo hair.

    m--shea

    I’ll add an entry from somebody else before my own words, even if I dislike the language in the last line:

    justsjwthings

    It might also be due to the fact that we are only told about the horrible things Voldemort has done: Umbridge does all of them onstage, making sure you hate her. We are told what Voldie does, but we are SHOWN what Dolly does. PS the one who tortured Neville’s parents into catatonia and insanity was Bellatrix Lestrange, who is probably the most popular of all the Death Eaters, besides Voldemort herself: most of her villainy (her treatment of the Longbottoms, her torturing Hermione) was also offstage and we are only mostly told about the horrible things she has done: hell the narrative doesn’t even say that she was the one who murdered Tonks (another thing Jojo revealed in an interview afterwards, apparently no one has ever told her to show not tell). But please, tell me how the only reason to hate a woman ever is because she has a cunt, not because she is one.

    As for my own view:
    Snape is given redeeming situations and qualities, he’s a pathetic bully but (assuming that the memories presented to us are true) he’s a bully that works hard on the side of the light. Umbridge is given none of that, none at all, and in fact she’s set up to be brutally gang-raped by centaurs by Hermione, who later mocks her for it and then giggles over her traumatic flashback, all of which is played for laughs.

    They’re both terrible people, but their treatment and presentation by the author herself is very different. Don’t just blame the public for taking in the lesson presented in the book.

    The year is 2015, and you still have to explain to adult men AND women that there’s no such thing as a “tight” or “loose” vagina, because it’s a muscle that expands and contracts depending on a variety of reasons. Or that a woman does not pee out of her vagina. Or that reaching an orgasm during sexual assault does not mean the person enjoyed it. Or that abortion is not the destruction of a fetus, but is of a clump of cells. That the length of a penis has NO relevance to the ability to preform well sexually, since the average vagina is only 3-4 inches long. That pubic hair is not unsanitary or gross, it actually helps protect the sex organs against bacteria, and shaving actually increases chance of infection, abscesses and rashes. But no, we don’t need comprehensive sex ed in America, we’re doing fine!

    deeperinmypower

    Love and Affection, not Anger and Aggression

    This weekend, the news has been rather depressing.

    Murders in the US, far-right victories in Europe. I know the MC fetish has dodgy connotations. I feel guilty about that often. Very guilty, and I know that none of what I put here is helping, probably. But, it bears repeating, everything you see here is purely fantasy.

    In reality, and in every part of life, women deserve our utmost respect, awe, and just being treated right, equally and properly. As a man, I feel ashamed that others of my gender feel it’s appropriate, in reality, to treat women as objects, and especially, to cause violence towards them when rejected. 

    For me, this whole fetish has always, really, been about experiencing that feeling of love - making someone fall in love with you, that feeling of a true soulmate, a friend, as well as a lover. And yes, I know that the whole thing of ‘making’ someone fall in love with you is a) a fantasy and b) misguided - stop wishing for that, and instead live your life so that people do fall in love with you, I guess :-/ 

    Yes, there’s the times when, in fantasy-land, you do just want the more primal state of things, but that’s 5% as opposed to 95% of the time.

    Anyway, I’m rambling here. I wanted to say something, lest staying silent was seen as approval of the misogyny and hatred out there.

    Let’s cheer each other up, and have enjoyable, sexy fun, OK?

    m--shea

    While I would not go so far as deeper has, above, in saying that I interpret MC stories as expressions of love, I do share the sense of guilt at times--Double Standard: Rape, Sci-Fi is in full effect, when I’m nauseated by sexual assault stories that are potentially possible but most definitely am not naeuseated when it comes to impossible things like Mind Control. 

    It’s something to worry about, I think, but remembering that it’s all fantasy would make it at least a little better. 

    That’s all; please carry on. 

    Men’s Involvement in Feminism

    There’s a divide among feminists on the issue of men’s involvement in the movement. Some people strongly feel that men should absolutely be a part of the fight for equality, while others reject male involvement and claim that men cannot identify as feminists.

    I stand firmly on the idea that feminism is, as bell hooks puts it, for everybody. I believe that anyone who wants to stand up for gender equality and protect the rights of women and trans folk can be feminists if they choose to identify as such. Others take the identity of a “feminist ally,” which is a compromise for some men who want to help the movement, but not lead it. My belief is that, without men, the feminist movement is going to face more struggles in succeeding. With men involved and actually informed and passionate on these issues, we stand more of a chance to gaining respect and making progress. My ideal for feminism is total inclusion for all groups of people in order to achieve social equality.

    So, what are some things men need to focus on in the movement? Well, cis men experience many different consequences from the patriarchy than women or trans individuals experience, but there is a lot they can do within feminism to help themselves and others live happier and more fulfilling lives. Some of the key aspects of men’s involvement are outlined below.

    Check Your Privilege

    Privilege and oppression can coincide and are not completely independent ideas. A cis man can have gender privilege but face racial oppression; a trans woman can have racial privilege but face gender oppression; a cis woman can face gender and racial oppression but have a class privilege; etc. 

    Privilege is not a dirty word. Most of us have some form of it and the first thing we need to do is recognize our privileges. We need to be able to evaluate what this does for us, and how life would be if we did not have these privileges. Only after recognizing it can we begin to learn the perspectives of others.

    Men’s first step into feminism means taking a look at their social context and recognizing that they benefit from the oppression of others. This should be done without guilt, but also without question or excuses. Privilege is not something to be blamed for, but it needs to be realized in order for any insight to others’ oppression. Men need to recognize that we do live in a patriarchy that generally values men over women, but also has confines for men, as well. More on that later.

    Learn About Enthusiastic Consent

    Consent is rarely focused on in public sex education and unless a man is friends with women or other feminists that discuss the idea of “enthusiastic” consent, there may be some confusion on what consent really is.

    Consent is a sober and enthusiastic agreement of an adult in a sound and stable mindset. Let’s break that down further:

    Sober:Some people honestly don’t know that sex with an intoxicated person is a crime. It is. The law defines consent to be within the legal limits of intoxication. This means if a person is drunk or on illegal drugs, they cannot consent to sexual activity. Without getting into the ethical conversation behind intoxicated sex, consider just the facts in order to protect yourself. If a partner is saying “yes” to sex, but is intoxicated, that does not remove your responsibility to abstain. In addition, consent cannot be given prior to intoxication since it is an on-going concept. This means that if you have sex with an intoxicated person–even if they agreed to it before hand or say they want it at the time, it is still legally considered rape. This means if that person wake up the next morning and decides to press charges, you can be arrested and convicted of a crime.

    Long story short, don’t have sex with drunk people. For your own sake, if anything.

    Enthusiastic:Men are often socialized to “listen for the no” when it comes to sex. The idea is that if your partner says “no,” they are not consenting. However, consent is a little more complicated than this. 

    An absence of a “no” does not equal a yes. Many times, when we’re nervous or don’t want to disappoint our partners, we will stay quiet instead of saying “no” out of fear or anxiety. As a sexual partner, we all have the responsibility to check in with our partners in any time of doubt. If they seem upset or unusually quiet, ask explicitly, “Do you want to do this?" 

    Instead of only listening for the "no,” also listen for the “yes!”. Communication is super important and even taking the time to check in with your partner is going to mean all the difference to their well-being. When it doubt, don’t have sex. You should always have a clear and explicit green light for sex to take place.

    Adult:This one is pretty simple–obey the law and don’t fuck anyone under the age of consent. In the US, this ranges from ages 16-18 depending on what state you’re in. It differs in other countries, as well. Check your local laws on the age of consent to know for sure.

    If you’re unsure of how old someone is, ask. If they look young or you suspect they’re lying about their age, don’t have sex with them. You do not want to risk a felony charge on a one-night stand with a minor who lies about their age.

    Sound/Stable Mind:If someone is upset or mentally impaired in any way, don’t have sex with them. Having sex with someone in distress is really crossing a line, even if they say they want it. If they’re genuinely upset, this isn’t a healthy time for sex. Work out any problems before engage in sexual activity to avoid unstable reactions and crossing unwanted boundaries. It’s pretty easy to tell if someone is in a sound mind or not. Use your best judgement to determine if they are stable enough to consent to sex–and again, in times of doubt, don’t have sex with them. Be supportive of them instead, help them work out their issues, clear their head, and maybe revisit the idea of sex when they are in a healthy mindset.

    Challenge the “Man Box”

    The “man box” is the unwritten regulation of masculinity–the confining standards that men must live up to that is policed by patriarchal system we live in. It’s the phrase, “Real men don’t cry.” It’s the fear of being seen as gay–or worse, as a woman.

    It’s difficult for men to break out of this box because everyone participates in adhering to these standards. Women and men alike perpetuate these ideas and keep cycling the confines of masculinity. However, once a man is able to stand up to these norms, it is easier for other men to follow and a domino effect can take place.

    Challenge the way you convey your masculinity. Stand up for the right to express your emotions or to enjoy stereotypically “feminine” things. Talk to your friends about health, mental health, and consent. Have discussions about feminist issues and challenge the ways people react to your behaviour. Don’t use words like “pussy” or “faggot” to describe signs of weakness. Rather, recognize that you might have your own weaknesses and you should be able to talk openly about them in a safe environment with friends instead of trying to prove your gender by demasculinizing someone else.

    Be a good bystander! This is so important. If someone is getting shamed for acting in a “feminine” way, defend them! Stand up against sexist jokes or racist comments. Don’t let your friend take that drunk girl home from the bar. Be actively supportive of friends who come out as LGBT. Be a good listener to friends who need your help. Look out for your friends in a way that helps everyone break out of these gender roles. Validation within groups of men is so important when dealing with emotional problems. Having a support system of other men that can discuss problems openly can lead to a decrease in violent behaviour or other harmful consequences of keeping emotions bottled up inside this “man box”.

    Have Resources Available

    Having resources for those who need them is super important. In addition to national hotlines, you should also keep track of local organizations in your area. Keep a post-it note of these contacts in your wallet in case someone comes to you with something you cannot resolve on your own. Being a good resource is really useful to those in need, regardless of gender.

    Some important numbers to look up:

  • Local police station.
  • Sexual assault crisis centers in the area.
  • Closest Planned Parenthood or sexual wellness centers.
  • University numbers, if you’re on a college campus (campus police, wellness center, health center, women’s center, LGBT center, etc.)
  • Domestic violence hotlines or centers.
  • Contacts for support groups in the area.
  • Rehabilitation centers.
  • LGBT organizations.
  • Domestic Violence Hotline (US): 1-800-799-7233

    Sexual Assault Hotline (US): 1-800-656-HOPE

    Understand that in order to be a good feminist, you don’t need to have all the answers, but you should learn how to be a good resource for people who need emotional support. provide unconditional support to those you suspect have suffered a trauma. 

    Learn how to identify signs of domestic abuse and sexual assault, and let them know you believe them, are here for them, and will do anything it takes to get them help.

    Be Aware

    Be aware of your effect on women. No, not your radiating glow of irresistible masculinity–quite the opposite.

    Consider the term “Schrödinger’s Rapist”. Schrödinger’s Rapist is the idea that women who walk alone at night have to be suspecting of strange men around them. We are conditioned to carry our keys or our mace and be prepared for an attack. Since we cannot see into your mind or know your intentions, we have to assume you are a risk in order to protect ourselves. This is nothing against you, this is just the way we have learned to act due to the alarming rates of sexual assault, unfortunately.

    This means that things you may consider of good intention can be perceived as dangerous to women. Perhaps you see a woman walking home alone in the dark and want to make sure she gets home safe. If you follow her, you will only alarm her more. Maybe you want to offer a ride home to your coworker and they refuse. Understand that maybe they don’t feel totally comfortable and they would rather take care of themselves. 

    The idea here is that you understand that it’s an unfortunate fact that some women have to fear the men around them–even if they know them. Because the rates of sexual assault, even committed by friends or acquaintance, is astronomically high, these hesitations or “unreasonable” fears is not an insult to you, but simply a survival tactic. Understand that your presence around scared women may make them even more uncomfortable, and that approaching people you do not know in dangerous situations may frighten others.

    Accepting Criticism

    This one is really difficult for a lot of men in feminism, and even women of privilege in dealing with race or LGBT-sensitive issues. People don’t like to accept criticism when they honestly believe they are being a good ally. However, often times our own privileges create blind spots to certain issues and cause problems when we try to help.

    If a woman tells you there is a problem with the way you are conducting yourself as a feminist or feminist ally, listen to her. If a trans person tells you you’re being transphobic, listen to them. If a POC is telling you that you’re acting with microagressions that are racist, listen to them. Hear them out and discuss the problem like a mature adult. Don’t deny what happened and don’t make excuses. Listen to what they say and if you truly don’t understand their reasoning, ask them to discuss it further with you. Learn from your mistakes.

    Chances are women, POC, and LGBT folk know more about sexism, racism, and homophobia/transphobia than you do–not because they are better than you, but because they face these issues on a constant basis every day and these problems directly effect them. On this basis alone, you need to hear them out and address their concerns in order to be a good ally. Put their opinions and concerns first–then discuss your own feelings.

    Vote

    Try to educate yourself on political issues around elections and use your best judgement to make electoral choices that benefit those suffering from oppression. Voting for someone who supports access to abortion and birth control, who fights for trans rights, and who is making positive changes in the community for minorities and those of a lower income is really beneficial to the feminist movement.

    If you’re not up to date on politics, talk to your feminist friends about who they’re voting for and what they think the biggest issues are. Get input from different people who face oppression and make a more-informed decision to elect someone who will change the way our society treats gender, racial, and sexual minorities for the better.

    Consider feminist issues when voting in local, state, and federal elections. All facets of the government matter and even voting for a local politician with progressive attitudes can make for great changes in your community.

    xx SF

    theunicornkittenkween-deactivat

    You're a whore piece of meat and that's why you got raped.You present yourself as a whore piece of meat and got used for what you are. Holes.

    Just so you all know what sort of vile people are a part of the tumblr community. 

    spankaway

    What an amazingly shitty person. No words.

    toodomforyou

    Fucking fuck, people can be so toxic.

    submissivefeminist

    Kill this with fire.

    What If We Treated All Consent Like Society Treats Sexual Consent?

    June 23, 2015 by Alli Kirkham

    Check it out: You can find a curse word-free version of the comic

    here.

    (Content Warning: Rape and sexual assault)

    Consent around sex is ignored all the time, and it’s not okay.

    These everyday examples of how we give consent for other things shows just how absurd it is to blame sexual assault survivors or to try to justify rape in any way.

    Here’s some much-needed perspective on what consent really means.

    With Love, The Editors at Everyday Feminism