Last update
2022-01-12 17:23:18

    How to Cuckold Your Husband


    Turning your husband into a cuckold can be one of the most rewarding things you ever do. A successfully cuckolded husband will be completely submissive. He will satisfy all your sexual cravings, manage all the mundane chores of your life, allow you to sleep with whomever you wish, subject himself to any amount of humiliation you desire, and of course, love you unconditionally.

    But be warned, cuckolding can also be one of the most challenging things you ever do. The process is long, complicated, energy consuming, and by no means sure of success. The strain on your marriage will be unbelievable, and it may be weeks or months before you succeed. In the end though, it will be worth it.

    Hopefully this will help educate women on how to begin the wonderful journey of female domination and to hopefully relieve some of the apprehension that might prevent a woman from ever trying. After reading this it will be clearer that cuckolding your husband is not as hard as it seems, and that accomplishing this feat is more possible than you thought.

    The most common reason a women doesn’t cuckold her husband is that she thinks he’ll never go for it - that he’s not the type. This is such a myth that it must be dispelled immediately. Many cuckolds begin as ordinary husbands. Your husband may even be as manly as men come, but don’t worry, cuckolding is often a just a matter of helping your hubby discover his submissive side. Take heart in the fact that underneath all his machissimo and pride, there is a cock loving wimp that is begging you to force him to do all sorts of nasty things. 

    First train yourself

    Think of cuckolding as an expertise. For the wife who decides to cuckold her husband, she must have complete mastery of certain skills. Much like in any profession - she must go to school, read, and practice. So like a professional, before you ever begin training your husband, you must first train yourself. You’re about to go on an incredible journey; you want to be prepared, right? 

    The world of cuckolding is unlike the normal world. It has various rules and customs that are different from everyday life, of which you must be aware. You must immerse yourself in this new culture. To begin, start reading erotic stories that deal with cuckolding. Many women before you have cuckolded their husbands and recorded their experiences. Also many men have written about their decent into female domination. Learn from them. Reading stories will acquaint you to the new world of cuckolding and will prevent you from having to reinvent anything. Beyond stories, you may want to read books on female domination, and buy videos of dominatrixes humiliating men. 

    You must also train yourself to be sexually independent. If you want to control your husband you need to not need his penis. In the future you will need to deny your husband the pleasures of your body and this will be only possible if you are strong enough to abstain from sex. Sex between you and your hubby is probably pretty vanilla anyway if you’re thinking about cuckolding him, so it shouldn’t be too hard. Masturbate often. Splurge on vibrators, dildos, lotions, clothing, and pornography. Have fun! Visit your local sex shop and ask for ideas. You may also want to think about buying toys that, after using on yourself, you can also use on your husband once he’s properly trained. The key is whenever you really have the urge for a fucking, train yourself to seek satisfaction from a source other than your husband. For example, when you’re horny, take out your vibrator. 

    A good way to help your training along is to change your appearance. Make it your goal to become a hotwife. The prime focus of a hotwife is expressing her sexuality in all manners, from the type of shoes she wears to the way she shaves her pussy. A hotwife wears tight fitting clothes as much as she can. She wears short skirts, perfume, and high-heels all the time. She does her hair and wears makeup daily. At night she wears sexy lingerie. She goes to the gym often. When she goes to the grocery store she doesn’t wear underwear. If you start doing thing like these, not only will you be sending a signal to your husband that you’ve changed, but you’ll be sending a signal to yourself. Because you look like a hotwife, you’ll think you’re a hotwife, and then you’ll be a hotwife! The advantages to being a hotwife are numerous. You’re husband will lust for you much more, even if he doesn’t show it, other men will croon over you (this will increase your confidence), and your sexual energy will increase, all of which you can channel into power.

    Also feel free to start flirting. It’s probably been a long time since you’ve flirted with another man, so you’ll need practice. Look men in the eyes and smile. If you drop something in the office, bend over without bending your knees. At night go out with girlfriends that like to party. Make it a goal to flirt with at least one man a day. The key is to increase you’re confidence. Not only will it be very satisfying to know that there are other men out there who are interested in you, but in the back of your mind you can use this knowledge as leverage against your husband.


    Once you’ve properly educated yourself in the art cuckolding, freed yourself from your husband’s dick, and increased your confidence, it’s time to begin.

    The first submission of your husband is the most challenging phase of the process. Even if he wants to be your slave, he will resist. There are many reasons he will do this like gender stereotypes and the years of routine between you, but first and foremost will be that he wants to save-face. Not only can he not admit to you that he wants to be your bitch, but he can’t admit it to himself either. He will never just give you power over him even though he wants to. This would violate his manhood. You need to take it from him - it’s the only way. 

    During this time, the power in your relationship will be in flux. Neither of you will be sure where the other stands. This uncertainty will be uncomfortable for both of you because it is human nature to order the world. You will have doubts such as, “Am I being too hard on him?” “Was this a good idea?” “Did I ruin our marriage?” These are completely normal thoughts, but you must never share them with your husband. It will have to be your own private burden. Sharing thoughts of uncertainty will only insert doubt in his mind and show weakness. His uncertainty will be twice that of yours, so you must be the guiding hand for him. 

    Broaching the Subject

    You’ll definitely want to let him know what’s going on. If he doesn’t, how can he play along? Remember, you husband wants to be cuckolded. You only need to break the ice. For example:

    Has your husband ever mentioned how you’d feel about a threesome, swinging, or anything extramarital? This may be a good place to start if he did. First make your husband really hot in a way that still allows you to talk to him, like by giving him a hand job. Once he’s near orgasm ask him, “Hey honey, remember that time you mentioned having a threesome? Do you still feel the same about it?”

    Judge his reaction. His eyes may light up or his heart may start beating faster. He’ll try to hide his excitement of course.

    He’ll ask, “Would you really consider it?”

    And you can say, “Well I’ve been thinking about it. It might be fun to make some changes.”


    If you suspect your husband masturbates often, try to catch him in the act. Then you can give him hell.

    “Honey, I’ve had it with you! This is the last time I catch you masturbating. It’s disrespectful and disgusting. Things are going to be changing around here!”

    These are just a few examples of how to broach cuckolding with your husband. Note the range in ways. Also note cuckolding was never mentioned. At this early stage there is no need to be specific. The only thing you need to be concerned about is the main message: “Things are going to be changing.” Of all the stories you’ve read about wives cuckolding their husbands, choose the method you are most comfortable with. 

    Being Mean

    After you’ve let him know that things will be changing around the house, you have to follow through. Remember, he won’t just give you control, you have to take it from him. Basically you’re going to have to be mean to him. If you were raised right this will probably not be easy for you. You were taught to treat everyone with the same respect you wish to have. This is one of the hardest parts of cuckolding because you’ll be breaking the golden rule, but once you get used to it, it becomes natural.

    Start by taking aspects of his life away from him. One of the first things you can do is to take is his identity away. For example, feminize your husband’s name; Jack can become Jackie, Dan can become Danielle. Or childize his name; John can become Johnny, Bill can become Billy. You’re main objective is equate him with weakness - historically women and children. Actually have a conversation with him about this. Let him know that you will be calling him something new from now on.

    Also don’t let him call you by name anymore. Only equals can call each other by name. Force him to refer to you as “Mistress” or “Goddess.” When you ask him a yes or no question, make him respond with “Yes, Mam” or “No, Mam.” This will help condition him as a subordinate.

    On the same lines, you can call him nicknames like, “Little One” or “Tiny.” And refer to his penis as a “dicklet.” This will strike his insecurity with his penis size, and if he never had an insecurity, it will create one. 

    Other examples of being mean to your husband are to take his free time away by giving him chores, his money and possessions away by demanding he be frugal, and his sex life away by withdrawing sex. Start small, but be firm. You want him to get used to submitting, and you used to dominating. For example, make him make the bed every morning from now on instead of you. Even something as inconsequential as making the bed will have a submissive effect on him and it will be something to build on later. For example, when you feel the time is right you can add to his responsibilities, “Honey, since you’re doing such a great job making the bed everyday, I’m going to have you clean the entire bedroom every morning from now on too.”

    Take you time being mean. It’s more important that you are comfortable with the process than the actual process. You are training yourself to be the beautiful and terrifying wife whose husband begs to please you. Be strict with the rules you make. If your husband doesn’t take out the trash let him know your displeasure. Punish him with real consequences if he messes up. 

    Punishment may be many different things depending on your style. You can be passive aggressive by withdrawing sex. You can be very aggressive and spank him. You can force him to do something perverted like eating his own semen. Just make sure you communicate with him at the time of his infracture that you are displeased with him, and that there will be consequences. 

    Being Nice

    The beauty of being mean to your husband isn’t in its direct benefits, but in how it redefines being nice. Things that used to be normal for him are now special treats. He used to be able to have sex with you whenever he wanted, but because you’ve withdrawn sex from him, you’ve made it a rare event - something to behold. By being constantly mean to you husband, you’ll lower his standard of what is considered nice. 

    Use this concept once you’ve established a baseline of meanness, which will probably take few weeks. Once being mean has become the norm you can start. For example, let him know a reward will follow his future good behavior. You can say, “I’ve decided today that if you’re a good boy all week and do all your chores, I’ll give you a blowjob at the end of the week.” A blowjob only a few weeks ago was not worth doing an entire week of chores for, but because you’re mean now, a blowjob’s value has greatly increased. Being “nice” like this you give your husband an incentive to follow your rules – further deepening your control.

    It’s all about sticks and carrots. Reward him for good behavior, punish him for bad, and most importantly, remind him that he’s lessor to you.

    Your Pleasure First

    Once you’ve mastered being mean to him, you can progress to a new lesson. Train him to subordinate his pleasure to yours. His new reason for being will be solely to please his mistress. Let him know this. Things like the new car he was planning on buying make off limits. Nights out with his friends, no – he has to stay in and clean. Fishing? Nope, he’s got to do laundry. 

    Not only will this degrade him, but it will give you more free time. Take advantage of this and enjoy it! Go to the pool and relax, go out with your friends at night, go on dates with other men. You won’t have to worry about the kids anymore because your husband is watching them. And because you’ve forbidden him from buying that big ticket item he’s been saving for, go shopping! There’s plenty of money now, right? This the time to be a hotwife – go for it.

    If you don’t do these things by deciding you’d rather be nice to him, it will be to your determent. It’s up to you to fill the void of your husband’s powerlessness. If you only force him not to buy the car, but then don’t spend the freed money, you’re sending him an incomplete message. Spend the car money on yourself, and let him know, “I, your wife, don’t care about your pleasure because mine is more important.” Make sure you fill the void; you don’t want all your hard work wasted. 

    Changing the definition of sex

    This lesson is especially important. Definitely no more blowjobs. The blowjob is the epitome of giving him pleasure. Don’t even have sexual intercourse with him. Intercourse equates both of your pleasures, not exactly the message you want to send him either. If he insists on sex, have him fuck you with your favorite dildo. Make sure to mention how much bigger it is than his penis and how much you enjoy having a “real cock” in you. If you absolutely must have sex with him a good idea may be to make him wear one or two “long lasting” or numbing condoms. This will greatly reduce his pleasure. The best thing you can turn sex into is him eating you out, period. You may want to squat on his face and force him to eat your pussy, or lay on your back and make him beg to eat you. Either way, he should soon learn what you mean when you say, “Let’s have sex.” For him, at most, let him masturbate afterwards and only if he did a good job.


    From here you can take things further. A good way to do this is with conditions. A condition is basically a trade. For example, “Okay wimp, I’ll let you cum tonight, but you have to cum in your hand and eat it afterwards,” or “Alright bitch, I’m going to be nice tonight and let you fuck me, but afterwards you’re going to have to eat your cum from my pussy.” By using conditions, you can bring him to higher levels of submission voluntarily. This is more than worth the momentary pleasure you trade him.

    Once you’ve gotten your hubby to do a degrading act for the first time with a condition, the subsequent times become much easier. Let’s say it had been a month since you let you husband stick his dick in you. Then one night you offered him the chance to fuck you as long as you got to fuck him afterwards. He was so desperate to feel your soft, warm pussy, he jumped at the chance. That night you give him a good cum, then put on your strap-on dildo and stuck it in his ass for the first time. You’ve now made it much easier to fuck him in the ass for a 2nd time by breaking that initial barrier. You probably won’t need to bargain with him again, just force him. Using a condition at every major cuckold milestone is recommended. For example, when you bring another man into the relationship. This is a big step for him, so you’ll have to coax him along with rewards.

    Don’t use conditions forever. They are just a tool to use in the beginning stages of taming your husband. After a while you will have amassed so much power, there will be no need for them. You can just make him do whatever you want. Once you’ve reached this point using a condition will actually make you look weaker. 


    Sometime around this point you will have reached a milestone in which you can say you’ve officially conditioned your husband to be your cuckold. Usually it occurs after you’ve forced your husband to do something so depraved that he has no self respect anymore. It may be the night you take his anal virginity, the night you come home from a bar and make him eat another man’s cum from your pussy, or the time you force him to suck another man’s larger penis. All the hard work you have done training yourself and your husband culminates here. For afterwards the change in your relationship will be so apparent that both of you will never be able to go back. He will be stricken with terrible shame and embarrassment, and you will have finally tasted the ecstasy of pure power.

    Also remember that with great power comes responsibility. You are now responsible for another human being. You will have to make many more decisions because he has deferred authority to you, his dominatrix. You have changed his life purpose from the pursuit of happiness to the pursuit of your happiness; you must give him every opportunity to fulfill this new mission and he will be grateful to serve you.

    Now relax, you’ve made it! Enjoy the lifestyle perks that cuckolding has to offer. Live a life of leisure. Have you husband take care of all the mundane things. Make him do all sorts of nasty and perverted things. Sleep with other men and bring them home to play. Whatever you choose to do with your cuckold, enjoy the luxury of having the choice…:)

    ow that you’ve cuckolded your husband, your job as mistress is only beginning. From now on you have full control and you’ll need to use it. Your husband will need a strong hand to guide him. You’ll be telling him what to wear, what to eat, and how to spend him time and his money. His only purpose will be to serve to you. Here are some ideas on how to keep up the dominance. 


    On the surface your husband’s semen can seem like an annoyance. It’s messy, it tastes bad, and it stains linens. But actually it is a great tool for dominating him. The most common way to use it is to force him to eat it. Normally after a man ejaculates he wants to just relax and not think. He wants nothing to do with sex for a while. So having him deal with his cum after an orgasm is something unnatural to him. He absolutely won’t want to do it. Therefore it will require a command from you and an act of submission from him - great practice for more advanced cuckolding. This is great training since he will be doing many more “unnatural” things later. 

    Do this by making the rule, “From now, on every time you cum, you have to eat your semen.” If you let him jackoff, make him lick it up. If he’s wearing a condom, pour its contents into his mouth. If he cums in your pussy, make him eat a creampie. You can get creative too, like making him cum in a glass then drink it at dinner. Or save each one of his cums in the freezer to eventually make a cumsicle for him. 

    He doesn’t have to necessarily eat it either. If you really feel like humiliating him, you can make him cum all over his face and then not let him wash for a while. As his semen slowly dries on his face, he’ll become uncomfortable and wish he had never cum.

    Another related rule to make is that you no longer want his cum touching you. Say, “It’s dirty”. The contrast of him eating and wearing his own cum while you refuse to even touch it will speak volumes. You’re obviously too good for his lowly seed.

    His Penis

    Another seeming headache for you will be you husband’s penis. It’s small, it cums too fast, and it doesn’t give you pleasure. If you’re smart though, it can be a useful tool in humiliating him.

    Feel free to openly make fun of his penis. Call it demeaning nicknames like “Dicklette,” or “Pee-pee.” Don’t call him by his real name either, refer to him by his penis, like, “Come here, Tiny”. Let him know constantly that you think his cock is inadequate. Contrast this to praising your dildo. Let him be in the room with you as you masturbate with it. Let him know how good it feels to be fucked by a “real cock.” Make sure to cum real hard on it. After you’re finished pleasuring yourself, show him you used and pussy and tell him, “This is what my pussy looks like after a real cock has been in it.” Then make him lick the dildo clean and to treat it like a holy object.

    He will always want to be using his penis too, either by fucking you or by pleasing himself. It will be easy to deny him sex, but him secretly masturbating will be a problem. If you let your husband masturbate, he won’t crave for your pussy and therefore the sexual power you have over him will be reduced. His release must be only through you. Forbid any self pleasure. Let him know that his penis is your property and that he’s not allowed to sexually touch it without your permission. Definitely realize that he will masturbate no matter what you do unless you put him in a cock cage (see below).

    Be openly suspicious about his masturbation. Constantly ask him if he’s jerked off and let him know that you’re on the watch for mischief. Also don’t be afraid to spy on him to make sure he is obeying you, even if you don’t suspect anything. Men are notorious for hiding masturbation. Setup a secret camera pointing at the computer, buy a program that will track all websites he visits, even look through the trash for sticky tissues. If you catch him, severely punish him. Masturbation is explicitly prohibited, his penis belongs to you and he is not allowed to use it. 

    Cock Cages

    A cock cage is a chastity device that denies a man the ability to become erect, though he can still urinate and wear normal clothing. Most look like a little plastic cage that locks around the penis. It’s impossible to keep your husband from masturbating without one, even if you could watch him 24/7. Men, if horny enough, can masturbate in seconds. You’d never know. In order for you to completely control your husband’s sexuality you’ll need this device. 

    To start, try to catch him in the act of masturbating. If you can’t do that, find some porn on his computer. All you have to do is search for “Jenna Jameson” or search the cookies for porn sites. You should already have a rule that he can’t masturbate, so once you catch him, you’re perfectly inline to confront him, and then punish him with a cock cage. Tell him, “Since you can’t control yourself, I’m going to do it for you”. Once he’s in one, you should control the key by at the very least hiding it. A great idea though is to keep the cage’s key on you at all times as a necklace. The symbol of your dominance, right there, dangling in his face, is a great way to taunt him. If anyone asks about it, you can say your hubby gave it to you as the “key to his heart”. Let him out for a cum every 3-4 days if he’s been good and 5-7 days if he’s been bad. Don’t keep him locked up forever. The point of a cage is control, not torture. 

    Your Pussy

    While you are busy making your husband’s penis inconsequential, you should be doing the opposite with your pussy. Let him know the new center of his universe will be your vagina. His life should revolve around pleasuring it. He will be eating your pussy constantly and let him know it. Even if you don’t feel horny have him lick your pussy. Have him talk to it, compliment it, and explain why it’s so beautiful. After a long day out have him soak it and caress it. When you come back from the gym shove his face into it for a good long whiff. Let him know you’ll no longer be using an alarm clock because you expect his tongue on you every morning. 

    The contrast of how he treats your pussy (the alter on which he worships you) to the way you treat his dick (something useless and to be forgotten about) will speak volumes.


    A strap-on penis can be a great tool to use while cuckolding your husband. Nothing quite says, “You’re my bitch” like fucking him hard in the ass. Buy one that you are comfortable with then bring it home and show your husband. Tell him, “Since I’m man of the house now, I figure I should have a penis to fuck you with.” Prepare him with butt plugs for a few days before to make him ready for a sizable one. Let him cum when you’re fucking him, at least for the first few times. Even encourage it. You want him to equate getting fucked by you, i.e. being your bitch, to being a pleasurable experience. When you fuck him, make sure you use lube. 

    If you really have a need to get fucked, you can put the strap-on on him, over his penis. Then you can either ride him or have him on top. Doing this will satisfy you while driving him completely insane because all the other sensations of sex will be there. He’ll be able to smell the sex in the air, he’ll feel your hot body, and sense the passion in your orgasms, but he won’t be able to feel anything down there. This will leave him extremely horny and frustrated.

    The bathroom

    Of course the house is now your domain, but this is one area you might have forgotten about. Allow him absolutely no privacy. Require him to keep the door fully open at all times when he is in there. If you have opaque shower curtains, get clear ones. Make him pee sitting down like a woman. If he takes a shit, make him apologize for the smell and if he doesn’t apologize before you have smelled it, punish him. If you’re feminizing him, he should be shaving in your full view.

    Future lovers

    One of the more challenging aspects of bringing home another man is picking the right one. Try to pick a man that is younger, good-looking, and more well-endowed than your husband. You want him to struggle with some jealousy. Before you chose one, sample a few. Inspect not only their obvious traits like penis size, strength, and stamina, but also their personalities. You want a man that is not to hot and not too cold, that is, he has the will to take control of you and your husband at home, but won’t cross the line. He should be physically more prow than your husband in all ways and you should enjoy having sex with him. 

    To start, be honest with your lover immediately. Let him know you are married and that your husband is a huge wimp. Don’t be completely honest with your husband though at first. You’ll always want to keep him guessing. When you go out, allude to your husband that you’ll be fucking someone else, but don’t actually say it. Say, “I’m going out tonight with some friends, I might not be back till late…” When you don’t come back until late, or not at all, his imagination will run wild. All sorts of emotions will run through him, concern, anger, lust, helplessness, etc… While you are out on the town flirting and dancing with other men, your husband will be at home in a state of mental anguish.

    Before you actually bring another man home though, you’ll have to let you husband in on what’s been going on. Though don’t have a conversation with him about it - show him. Start coming home with hickies, bite marks, or scratches. Have your hair be a mess, and your clothes on wrong. If he asks, feel free to tell him, “Oh that’s from my new boyfriend. He’s a little rough”, but deflect any questions he has about specifics. Then after a while come home late one night, wake him up, and force him to lick your stretched pussy. He’ll know immediately what you’ve been up to, but will not have time to think about it because your pussy will be right in front of his face. He’ll have no choice but to eat you. Once he’s gotten used to that, bring home your pussy filled with cum. Taking these steps will get your husband used to your infidelity and make it less of a shock when you finally bring a lover home.

    Once you finally bring him home, introduce your hubby to him as your boyfriend. By now your husband should know everything about your boyfriend and what you’ve been doing. Let your husband know that he is to be respectful at all times when your boyfriend is here and to do anything he says. Let your hubby know, “Tonight a real man will be fucking me, not you”. For the first couple times, go to the bedroom with your lover and lock out your husband. Make sure you are noisy though. Having him comfortable with the sounds of you being fucked will make it easier for when he has to watch. He might even begin to anticipate watching you. 

    When you finally let him watch, do all sorts of nasty things with your lover that you’d never do with your husband. Worship your bull’s penis, voraciously suck it, deepthroat him, comment on its size and how much larger it is than your husband’s. Let him fuck you roughly, let him cum inside you, give him your ass. Transform yourself into the slut your husband can’t have and let him know that this all could have been him, but he willingly gave up his chance like an idiot. 

    Keep your husband actively involved in his own humiliation. Make him beg your lover to fuck you. Make him suck your lover hard or have him put your lover’s dick in your pussy. Talk to him too, like, “Oh he’s so much bigger than you,” or “This is how a real man fucks your wife”. Whenever your husband is idle, don’t let him touch his penis, a good way to do this is to make him sit on his hands. Once your lover is finally finished with you, have your husband clean the juices off his penis with his tongue. Have him thank your bull for the great fucking he just gave you. Then make him crawl to you and clean up your used pussy….


    Send this to your wife.


    Always a reblog ❤️❤️❤️


    Some ideas … not in the right order and some can only be done slowly, gradually…



    The politically correct answer would be: “My husband is a cuckold, because that is what he is longing for and because he wants me to lead him to a deeper submission. If he wouldn’t, I wouldn’t do it.”

    The answer is correct, and forms part of the reason why I began doing it, but I have to admit, in the presend I make my husband a cuckold because I like it.

    I love making love with a man, and I love that my husband does not have the right to have the same priviledges as I have. I admit. I love meeting men, the whole process from the beginning of the meeting until the conclusion. I love my husband and I keep him up to date of things, because I love his support and his deepening submission, I love it when he feels the humiliation, and because I think it’s the role of man in a marriage.

    It is part of who I am, what I believe. It is not a game but a way of life, and a statement.

    As I said, I love the whole process. I like to flirt, seduce, be seduced by a beautiful man. I like to be asked out on a date. I like to tease my husband about my encounters. I like it when my husband helps me prepare for a new appointment.

    I like to go out. I love the game, and to test a man. I like the kiss (the first kiss!), the first caress, to be in his arms, and yes, I love sex! I like to see my husband before and after, shy, tormented, or otherwise confused. I love this power I feel, and I like what it gives me, and above all I like what it does to my husband.

    And I can tell you, you do not know how it feels to really control a man until he is a cuckold, your cuckold, who knows and who is kept chaste throughout the process.

    The cuckolding process is so much more then having sex. It is liberating and by allowing it my husband accepts his subservient position. It is a total power exchange of the husband submitting to the dominant female.

    It is neither swinging nor wife swapping. It doesn’t happen because my husband craves for it. I would have stopped after the first try. I continued because it increases my pleasure, and because I feel like it. I enjoy every minute of it. Meanwhile, my husband exists to serve me. Everything is for my pleasure, and the frustration of my husband forms part of the pleasure.

    It was my husband who brought it up, more then once. He had to convince me. Before I decided to give it a try, I told my husband that if we would do it, it might be permanent. And indeed. There is no way back.


    Hotwife Lifestyle - Understanding Our Man’s Hotwife Fantasy and How to Use That to Our Advantage

    The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

    Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

    Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

    As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

    He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

    As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

    For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

    The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

    You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

    Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

    So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

    The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

    Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

    We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

    Happy Hotwifing!



    This is 100% accurate. An excellent account of hotwifing from a woman’s perspective and sums up perfectly why many men are into the fantasy.


    WOW! You hitt ther nail on the head! This is a very big part of my feelings….