penstab

i have a horrible misogynist rooster who only likes blonde hens so i always have to make sure i have 2-3 yellow hens around so he doesn't run anyone ragged. i didn't know this was a problem someone could have but i've had macklemore for eight slutty, slutty years and he's been overly obsessed with the blondness level of his lady friends for the entire time with no sign of slowing down so, like. props to him for sticking to his guns.

SIR, PLEASE,

penstab

YOU CANT JUST CASUALLY LEAVE THIS IN THE REPLIES AS IF THIS ISNT A CRUCIAL ELEMENT OF THIS HARROWING STORY

SIR!!!!!!

vespertineflora

[ID: a reply from m4mothman: the thrilling accompaniment: he thinks my golden retriever is the absolute pinnacle of beauty. his romantic white whale if you will. he has been trying to court her, pulling out all the stops and doing MANY fancy dances, since i got her five and a half years ago]