teen wolf characters as john mulaney quotes
stiles: NO! that’s the thing i’m SENSITIVE about!
scott: i was like, top three colleges? i thought i would be dead in a trunk sticking my head out the tail light by now
lydia: i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day i’ll die
allison: hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?
derek: and they go, no! in fact, we’re gonna frame you for murder!
isaac: i’m new in town, and it gets worse
boyd: brush your teeth and drink orange juice. that’s life
peter: we gotta think of some weird slow activities to fill the day
liam: i am so horny and angry all the time and i have no outlet for it
kira: remember being 12, when you’re like, no one look at me or i’ll kill myself?
jackson: i will pepper in the fact that i’m gay
cora: i’m really sorry about last night, it’s just that i’m mean and loud. it probably will happen again
erica: i was in connecticut recently doing white people stuff
mason: i look back on being 17 and think, oh my god, how did i not die?
malia: thanks for asking! well... you know how i’m filled with rage?
theo: and i said ‘no!’, you know, like a liar
chris: shut up, you’re all gonna die! street smarts!
corey: was there ever really a ghost, or was the dead victorian girl you saw just me all along?
sheriff: he was a man most acquainted with misery
melissa: you know those days when you’re like, this might as well happen? adult life is already so goddamn weird
