Tell Me I'm an Angel, Take this to my Grave
Last update
2023-02-02 02:49:45

    Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

    My cat: Father is…evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.


    The spiritual successor to Miette


    May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit


    Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children


    I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from “i can has”. Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they’re talking about.


    My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

    Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

    My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

    Me: ksst!

    My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she’s been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

    Me: ok

    My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang


    Can haz snackytreat


    This post is the most reblogged post of the year! Congratulations!


    you’re absolutely correct it was


    deer after almost 150 years of cars: maybe if I stand really quietly here in this exposed area, right in front of this thing that barrels directly towards me at unfathomable speeds it won't see me.

    seagulls after 20 years of smartphones: the exact moment when the human glances at their rectangle is the best time to swoop in and snatch the shit from their other hand.


    Reblog and see if you get a color.

    PURPLE: We near never speak, but I do enjoy your presence on my dashboard.

    FUCHSIA: I wish I could become your best friend through the internet.

    GREY: You leave me with jumbled words.

    RED: I’m in love with you.

    PINK: I have a crush on you.

    TURQUOISE: You’re hot.

    CHARTREUSE: I sincerely wish you would notice me.

    TEAL: We have quite a lot in common.

    BLUE: You are my Tumblr crush.

    ORANGE: I dislike your page.



    GREEN: I find you cute.

    BLACK: I would date you.

    BROWN: I dislike you.


    character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!

    the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!


    I love seeing dogs and wolves in movies because they’re acting so vicious but also their tails are wagging so hard unless the post-processing guys specifically edited out the tails (which is slightly less obvious but also hilarious in a different way once you spot it).


    This is why I love the dog in the original casting of The Thing so damn much. I have never seen an acting dog move with such a deliberate, calm intent. It was like every single motion and gesture this animal made was intentional.


    Apparently, according to the behind-the-scenes documentation, this dog was just fuckin like that. Almost never, if at all, looked at the camera crews and production teams. Never excitedly wagged his tail on set no matter how much of a good boy he was being. If he did, it was the same deliberate motions.

    His name was Jed, and even though he’s a dog, he deserves an oscar. He was an exceptionally good boy.

    Mabel on the tumblr account she made immediately after turning 13: one of the most important things to remember about boybands in that they’re very social! most members can’t make it solo. this is why you should always give them a sleeping area that fits all of them at once, so if one of them wakes up in the middle of the night he has the others to pose with and comfort him back to bed. if he still won’t go back to sleep you can try rocking him to simulate the gentle motion of a tour bus too!

    Everyone else on tumblr: haha funny joke *10k notes*


    Tumblr asks

    asks: how many people do you follow?

    blog: how many mutuals do you have?

    dashcon: have you ever been involved in discourse?

    followers: anything in your drafts?

    like: do you have any sideblogs?

    mutuals: how many posts do you have?

    notes: what is your favorite post you’ve made?

    posts: have you had other URLs? What were they?

    reblog: describe your blog in five words

    staff: how long have you had tumblr?


    What people think why i became a bookbinder: Oh she wants to explore her artistic horizon with those pretty leather bound books of hers. She even gives them out as gifts to her friends. It most likely helps her with anxiety or maybe she just wanted a more special costume made notebook.

    Why I actually became a bookbinder: I just illegally downloaded and printed out several of my favourite fanfics and books and started binding them into books cuz I love reading them but looking at screens for too long gives me headaches.


    op youre fucking big brained oh my god


    If you want to i can send you a link to some of the Tutorial videos i started binding my fanfic books.






    @laughuntilourribsgettough @starduststyx upon request: A tutorial playlist for my personal favourite bookbinding methods

    • Longstitch binding


    2)Japanese Binding


    3) Belgian Binding


    4) Coptic stitch binding


    5) Case Bookbinding



    MUSIC ASKS these are actually pretty hard but why not.


    1: A song you like with a color in the title

    2: A song you like with a number in the title

    3: A song that reminds you of summertime

    4: A song that reminds you of someone you would rather forget about

    5: A song that needs to be played LOUD

    6: A song that makes you want to dance

    7: A song to drive to

    8: A song about drugs or alcohol

    9: A song that makes you happy

    10: A song that makes you sad

    11: A song that you never get tired of

    12: A song from your preteen years

    13: One of your favorite 80’s songs

    14: A song that you would love played at your wedding

    15: A song that is a cover by another artist

    16: One of your favorite classical songs

    17: A song that would sing a duet with on karaoke

    18: A song from the year that you were born

    19: A song that makes you think about life

    20: A song that has many meanings to you

    21: A favorite song with a person’s name in the title

    22: A song that moves you forward

    23: A song that you think everybody should listen to

    24: A song by a band you wish were still together

    25: A song by an artist no longer living

    26: A song that makes you want to fall in love

    27: A song that breaks your heart

    28: A song by an artist with a voice that you love

    29: A song that you remember from your childhood

    30: A song that reminds you of yourself


    me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

    mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

    me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU


    Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?


    decay exists as an extant form of life


    That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day





    Bill Nye for most of his career: Imma do science for kids. Science without politics. Nice, tame science for the kiddos.

    Bill Nye now:


    BILL, BILL, BILL!!!!


    And let’s not forget


    I’d never seen that last one, but my life is better for it




    NOTHING but absolute RESPECT for the world’s substitute science teacher


    NOTHING but absolute RESPECT for the world’s substitute science teacher


    Wanna be nosy. . . here's your chance

    0: Height

    1: Virgin?

    2: Shoe size

    3: Do you smoke?

    4: Do you drink?

    5: Do you take drugs?

    6: Age you get mistaken for

    7: Have tattoos?

    8: Want any tattoos?

    9: Got any piercings?

    10: Want any piercings?

    11: Best friend?

    12: Relationship status

    13: Biggest turn ons

    14: Biggest turn offs

    15: Favorite movie

    16: I’ll love you if

    17: Someone you miss

    18: Most traumatic experience

    19: A fact about your personality

    20: What I hate most about myself

    21: What I love most about myself

    22: What I want to be when I get older

    23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

    24: My relationship with my parent(s)

    25: My idea of a perfect date

    26: My biggest pet peeves

    27: A description of the girl/boy I like

    28: A description of the person I dislike the most

    29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

    30: What I hate the most about work/school

    31: What your last text message says

    32: What words upset me the most

    33: What words make me feel the best about myself

    34: What I find attractive in women

    35: What I find attractive in men

    36: Where I would like to live

    37: One of my insecurities

    38: My childhood career choice

    39: My favorite ice cream flavor

    40: Who wish I could be

    41: Where I want to be right now

    42: The last thing I ate

    43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

    44: A random fact about anything


    🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶✨


    I'm an idiot and I deleted the original question. I'am sorry. Thank you @pyreneese

    1. Two — sleeping at last

    2. All I want – Kodaline (i like the cover by Ha Hyun Sang)

    3. Run away – Ben Platt

    4. Dernière danse – Kyo (the cove by Pomme is perfect)

    5. Because of you – Kelly Clarkson

    I will tag (? @sakuranomai @my-one-true-l @queen--of--maggots @marilxrants @transasahi @wereana @gracetoldmeto @himbo-kronk-stan @balsemicvinegar @cherrygirl-28 sorry! this way is easier and faster. Feel free to ignore.


    1. Cigarettes Out of the Window – TV Girl

    2. Wrecking Force – Voxtrot

    3. Lay All Your Love On Me – ABBA

    4. Unfucktheworld – Angel Olsen

    5. Take Me To Church – Hozier

    Thanks so much for tagging me! @mgksemogorl @whenyoureoutonyourown @shootingsun @aroantic @rlydsntmttr

    • Montreal - Penelope Scott
    • life waster - CORPSE
    • Welcome to Castle Irwell - Crywank
    • Autotheist - Baby Bugs
    • Knee Deep at ATP - Lovejoy

    Thanks for the tag Vinny! @ohmeowmy @octal-wizard @mxoreo @bambiefangirl

    Late tag, dont know if this will work: @mansplain-manipulate-malewife @imhavingdifficulties @girlmicrowave

    Queer is a word ment for everyone who doesn't fit in.

    We are queer.

    People keep saying 1%.

    But how many "1%" identifies

    Can we have before they realize

    Queer is bigger then one percent.

    The world is not 99% cisgender heterosexual neurotypicals.

    We are Gender non conforming, it/its or he/him or anything under the sun.

    I hope you understand one day that queer is good for all of us.

    For the transwomen who aren't out yet.

    For the lesbians who aren't out yet.

    For the children who never get taught better.

    For the questioning.

    For the cristian homosexuals who are angry with the bigot hiding behind the bible.

    Fort the trangender people who get spit on and hurt by terfs.

    People of color who are constantly treated as lesser or wrong.

    For mixed kids who are treated as freaks.

    For the small families who got kicked out because they married a white or black person.

    For everyone who's race stereo type made them hurt and inflicted with trauma.

    For the people who have depression, autism, anxiety, ptsd, and more. The people who don't think that exists? They can be crucified in their false beliefs.

    You're important.

    You are not broken.

    You are not deserving of this pain.

    You are not deserving of this burden.

    You are loved by at least one person out here.

    Be it the little girl next door who waves goodbye. Or the friend who buys you ice cream when you are sad. Or anyone who listens and does little things.

    You are good enough, existing, being you, and loving yourself.

    Please love yourself. I promise it will be better sooner or later.

    If you need someone to talk to -

    I will listen. I promised in another post and intended to keep it.

    Listen - let me spill my guts. I need to get this out and a random online person is better than nothing.

    Advice - you tell me the problem, even a math problem, and I will will do my best to help. I won't always succeed, but trying is better than giving up.

    Distract - I will start rambling off about the first thing that comes to mind, so you don't have to think too much.