@taenavia
Taenavia

  松雪 菫水  (stage name coined by gaurhoth♥)

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18889
Last update
2020-07-08 09:31:09

    One thing I love about this episode is when Haru tells Yuki he’s “weak and kind’ and it’s a deliberate call back to Ayame telling Yuki he “values his weakness and kindness”. This is honestly one of the first times I’ve seen weakness to be portrayed as something positive, something dear. 

    I play a crap ton of otome games, and I think this sentiment applies way more heavily to female oriented media than other media, as well as more heavily for female characters than male ones because idk fandoms hate women. But there’s always a push that characters need to be “strong”. When we justify our love for certain characters, we often try to portray them to be strong. When we tear down characters we hate and rant about why we think they’re bad characters, it’s often because they’re “weak” (hello, hello, Tohru haters?) We treat weakness and strength as a very strict dichotomy with a strong divide between. And yet Yuki’s character very perfectly demonstrates that not only is that not the case, but also that it’s okay to be weak, and that weakness has inherent value to it that shouldn’t be shunned or frowned upon. Yuki is very weak. He constantly second guesses himself, has no confidence, and always needs other people supporting him to stand. And yet his kindness, and the way he constantly makes strides to better himself while wearing his vulnerabilities on his sleeve, makes him so beloved and dear to those around him because rooted in these painful shortcomings is Yuki’s compassion and empathy for others, that others can see in him and appreciate. Yuki is weak, but his weakness isn’t separated from his strengths, rather his weaknesses are the foundation for his strength. 

    tldr, down with typical cut and dry portrayals of “strong” characters. Give me weak characters. Give me characters who struggle to do anything alone. Because that struggle will always be more compelling than a character who has it all at the beginning.

    “Plutôt mourir !” “Jetez ça aux oubliettes” “Je n'aurai qu'un mot à dire : nul” “Comment avez-vous pu pensez que j'aimerais ça ?!” “Certainement pas” “Beurk” “Non, non et non” “J'aime pas du tout” “Débarrassez-moi de ça !” “Inintéressant” “Quelle horreur !” “Hors de ma vue !” “Argh ! Mes yeux !” “Pas ma tasse de thé” “Faisons comme s'il ne s'était rien passé” “Je n'aime pas ça” “Vous avez rien de mieux ?” “Pas question” “Plus jamais ça” “C'est pas mon truc” “Ne laissez aucune trace de ce truc” “Direction poubelle” “Et puis quoi encore ?”

    Tumblr, jamais dans l'intensité quand on ne veut pas voir un post suggéré dans le feed.

    Since you guys liked the last one so much, heres a part 2 of what you can do when you’re understimulated.

    Tactile:
    -shaving your face or your legs and touching the smooth skin
    -brushing your hair
    -putting on some heavy/cold jewlery
    -putting on makeup (especially powder fondation and blush)
    -washing your face/splashing water in your face
    -putting a heating pad on your back or feet
    -putting a cold/hot wet towel on your forhead
    -doing sexual activities (I know this is not for everyone but its still a good way to get a lot of sensory input at once)
    -putting your (clean) hands in a bag of dry rice or pasta

    Auditory:
    -dumping some salt in your hands and rubbing it on your palm with you fingers
    -putting on a show while doing something else
    -sitting near a clock and focusing on it (bonus: getting two clocks that are a few milliseconds appart and focusing on the sound)
    -getting a small and holow object (tupperware, shell, cup) and putting it on your ear to “hear the ocean”
    -listening to some rain and thunderstorm sounds (can be found on youtube and spotify)
    -sitting right next to an outlet that has a lot of electronics plugged into it and listening to the electricity
    -holding a tissue by two corners between your thumbs and pointer fingers and shaking it (super great sound 10/10)
    -shaking a plastic rapper
    -cracking your knuckles
    -putting your hands on your ears and humming

    Olfactory (smell):
    -washing your sheets and burying yourself in them as soon as they comme out of the dryer
    -putting on some perfume
    -smelling one of those car air fresheners (be careful because those are really powerful)
    -taking a sniff of each of the spices in your spice cabinet
    -smelling fresh ground up coffee beans
    -smelling your books (this is one of my favorite scent)
    -buying scented crayons

    Gustatory (taste)/oral:
    -putting your mouth on stuff (Ciramic mugs, metal ustensils, plastic cups, ect. The world of oral stim is yours to discover) (this was suggested by @blobking)
    -munching on dry pasta
    -chewing gum
    -moving around your tongue and your mouth and making silly noises and sensations
    -getting those trendy tiktok popping fruit jelly candy (those are fucking great, as gustatory AND oral stim)
    -bitting into a lemon
    -eating/licking a lolipop
    -making salt dough (also can be both gustatory and oral, or could also be a tactile stim)

    Visual:
    -playing a simple and colorful game on your phone
    -watching a candle, a match or a lighter
    -looking at your hands while you’re stimming with them
    -applying makeup (especially bright eyeshadow and lipstick) while looking at your face in the mirror and actively focusing
    -reading a graphic novel or a children’s book
    -drawing something
    -coloring something
    -putting some clear glue on your hand and pealing it when it dries (could also be a tactile stim)
    -watering your plant(s)
    -doing a puzzle

    Vestibular/proprioceptive:
    -putting one or multiple books on your head and trying to walk while balancing them
    -spinning while holding a heavy object and moving your hands up and down slowly to feel the pull of the object
    -doing a cartwheel
    -getting upside down in a handstand or putting your body on the edge or your bed and letting your head dangle
    -trying to walk on an imaginary thin line by putting one foot in front of the other (bonus: tape a line on the floor)
    -rocking your head and torso back and forth really fast (go as low as you can when moving forward, like you are trying to dry your hair) (be careful because this one can make you dizzy or give you a headache real fast)
    -riding your bike (bonus if you go really fast to feel the wind or if you go in circles and loops)
    -tightening all the muscles in your body and holding it for a few second before relaxing
    -inhaling by filling up your belly, your rib cage and then your chest, and then exhaling by emptying your belly, your rib cage and then your chest. doing it again and again (this is also a super great technique for calming anxiety or falling asleep faster)

    If no one has told you today:

    🌻 I’m so proud of you

    🌻 Just concentrate on your breathing, it will be okay

    🌻 You deserve happiness

    🌻 You are not your mental illness

    🌻 You deserve to recover

    🌻 I’m super proud of you

    🌻 I love you

    🌻 If I could, I would hug each and every one of you

    🌻 Please eat something today and make sure to drink some water. If you are tired, take a nap

    🌻 Please look after yourself

    🌻 You deserve love

    It doesn’t make you unlovable or a horrible person if you don’t have many friends. It can be difficult to meet new people if you’re shy or quiet or have anxiety. It can be difficult to stay in touch with people if you can’t find the time or energy to remain in contact. It can be difficult to make new friends if you struggle to find people you click with or who are interested in the same things as you. None of those things mean you’re unlovable. 

    how to draw fat bodies from me.. im by no means an expert on anatomy but as a fat person i just have some nitpicks ^_^. love handles and fat rolls and double chins are all things we have and they deserve to be drawn..

    [ image: a comic with tips on how to draw fat bodies. the first panel shows one body, exaggerated hips and flat stomach. “chubby people aren’t flat and smooth what the fuck” the second body, shows the same body muffin a muffin too and love handles, instead of the flat and fetishized hips. the second panel shows a body with rolls and a stomach - but the waist is impossibly cinched. “waists don’t work like this” the second body pictured is the same as the one before, but the waist is proportion to the body. the third panel shows a body from the side, illustrating how to stomach and breasts are pulled down by gravity. “remember gravity exists thus pulls fat down!” next to it, there’s a picture of a sitting body, with stomach rolls. “ROLLS! ROLLS! ROLLS! even skinny people have rolls don’t forget rolls!” the fourth panel shows two more “masculine” bodies, with rounder stomachs and less hips and hour glass figures. “men have less of a waist and hips!” the last panel shows several smiling people, all with double chins. “remember double chins too!!”. ]

    anonymous

    Hey, firstly I just wanted to say thank you for answering this (and happy pride month)! Also, I'm cupio(bi)romantic. I just want to know, is it normal to feel bad about not feeling romantic attraction? I sometimes really want a girlfriend but at the same time, a lot of aspects of romance really make me uncomfortable (kissing mainly). I think I'd want a girlfriend in the future, but would it be a relationship if I don't like a lot of romantic things like pet-names or kissing at all? Thank you!

    Happy pride month!

    It sounds to me like you have some internalized arophobia about not feeling romantic attraction. Lots of aros (including me) have felt this, and I find that one of the best ways to deal with it is to acknowledge it and talk about it. Society hypes up romance so much, as this magical moment, this happy ever after, so if you’re aro, that sort of rhetoric can be really alienating and hurtful. But you’re not missing out on anything, because it’s usually overhyped, it’s not magical, it doesn’t lead to happy ever after. In a way, romantic attraction is kind of like sports: some people experience it and some people really like it, but there’s nothing wrong in acknowledging that it’s just not for you. 

    Have you heard of queerplatonic relationships (QPRs)? QPRs are a type of interpersonal relationship that can be a bit vague and confusing, but they’re nonromantic in nature and can (but don’t have to) include behavior one might find it romantic relationships like cuddling, living together, filing taxes together, raising children together, retiring together, etc, in addition to more “traditionally platonic” behavior like hanging out a bunch, trusting each other with secrets, etc. If you find that you’re kind of looking for a romantic relationship without the romance, you might find the idea of a QPR helpful. QPRs aren’t as widely known as romantic relationships, but they are just as “real” or official as romantic relationships, even though amatonormativity says otherwise.

    Lastly, it’s not my place to tell you what labels to use, so no matter what, if you want to keep calling yourself cupioromantic, that’s fine. At the same time, if you found the idea of a QPR really helpful, and you decide that you want a QPR but not a romantic relationship, and this decision leads you to stop identifying as cupioromantic, that’s fine too. 

    Hope that helps, as always feel free to ask for clarification/any follow up questions.