One of the most common messages I receive on Tumblr - besides "How do I make my wife a cuckquean?" (and I've written my opinion about that one here before) - is something along the lines of "Your husband is so lucky... I'd love to have a loyal cuckquean wife like you."

Welp, I'm guessing there are countless men out there who'd love to have a "loyal cuckquean wife." I mean, from my biased cuckquean perspective, it's a very hot way to live. However, there are just as many women tapping out on the mere thought of their husbands having free reign to fuck whomever they want. They're not cuckqueans, obvi. And, in my humble opinion, queans are predominantly born, not made. It just takes the right man to coax it out of them, which brings me to my next point...

What I never hear in these messages is what the wannabe cuckquean husband is bringing to the kink table. Sure, I get it... You've spent a number of hours thinking about this lifestyle, jerking off to porn about it, and are committed to finding the elusive quean (and a harem of cakes) to make your life complete. Again, I ask, "WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING TO THE TABLE?"

As I said before, I'm a firm believer that most queans are like me. There was something bubbling under our surfaces for a long period of time. I recall having these thoughts as far back as eighteen years old with my boyfriend at the time, but I never told him. In hindsight, he would have been the absolute worst person to have ever embarked upon this kink with, and I was far too emotionally immature. Put that in context... I lived with these thoughts (through multiple relationships and one prior marriage) before finally confiding in my current husband in my forties.

We probably didn't even have a name for it at the time. I certainly didn't, but there was no internet when I first had these feelings. As a matter of fact, it was searching the internet years later that I was finally able to slap a label on it. But we knew the thought made us all wet and breathless. To this day, cuckquean porn and fantasy is the quickest way to get me all wet and maddeningly horny. However, we were too embarrassed or ashamed to ever release these taboo thoughts into the ether. Eventually, with time and building a strong foundation of trust with our husbands, we finally uttered those words to them. Possibly something like, "Honey, it would really turn me on if you'd fuck other women. You deserve to fuck other women. As a matter of fact, I WANT you to fuck other women. Even better, I'll HELP you find other women to fuck!"

Totally fucking hot, amiright?! Then, once the husband picked his jaw up from the floor, some serious conversations likely took place - or at least should have. This is the part of the story where most men zone out and switch the channel in their brains back to fantasies of countless wanton women spontaneously hiking up their asses for a good pounding from a bored, married man. To me, however, this part of the story is just as titillating. Because, if you truly want a mutually satisfying cuckquean marriage, then like everything else worth having in life, it's going to take work - on both of your parts. But I'm particularly looking at you, men.

You see, you have to be the kind of man who can sustain your marriage while fucking other women on the side. You have to be worthy of this privilege. You have to be open and honest and capable of carrying on a conversation, even when that conversation is about really tough stuff. A man like that is very hot to me. Those are just a few of the reasons I married my husband and felt safe enough to confide what had been going on in my dirty little mind for years.

You see, it's not just your cock and awesome pussy-slaying skillz that you need to be ready to bring to the table. You also have to bring your mind, your heart, your empathy, your understanding, your listening skills, your emotional maturity, and your critical thinking skills. Otherwise, you're just a cheater and will likely destroy your marriage.

And it bears repeating... Cheating is not cuckqueanism. Sure, as a cuckquean, the FANTASY of my husband sneaking around and fucking other women behind my back is hot as fuck because I want him to have access to all the pretty little asses he wants. But the reality of the situation is that him actually cheating would break my heart. And hurting me would hurt him. That's why we have these relationship parameters in place.

Furthermore, you have to be capable of using these skills when it comes to cuckcakes. Believe it or not, there aren't many women into the whole idea of playing around with a married man. It seems to me that cuckold couples have a somewhat easier time of finding bulls, and there's much more material out there for them. It's gaining momentum, but cuckqueanism is still sort of in its infancy. I think that's because of the social taboo and stigma, i.e. "What woman in her right mind would allow her husband to "cheat on her"?? For some reason, it still seems more acceptable when the wife is doing so, but I digress...

Women who outright identify as cuckcakes know the drill. But informed cuckcakes are few and far between, which means you're often approaching women who may initially be suspect of you. When you tell them, "Hey, my wife knows and is cool with this," often times skeevy cheater alarms go off in their heads, and they'll steer clear of you. You may be faced with awkward conversations, needing to get your wife involved to "prove" you're not the aforementioned skeevy cheater, etc. You may also encounter situations where the cake is into dominating, humiliating, and/or degrading a quean. You have to have those parameters set up with your quean from jump. As for myself, I'm not at all into any sort of cuckcake domination or degradation. The only person I submit to is my husband/Daddy. However, Daddy has carte blanche to degrade or humiliate me, so... Again, these are all things you must consider upfront. Of course, relationships can change and evolve over time, so your quean may be more or less willing to incorporate certain things down the road, as may you. But if you're not checking in with each other and communicating, then you're leaving yourselves open to disaster.

You may have to settle for months or years of jerking off to porn and fantasies before you find your first cuckquean and/or cuckcake. You may have to decide if seeing a pro is an option because there don't seem to be many other options in your area. If so, you'll both have to budget for that. You may have to face the uncomfortable task of saying goodbye to a cake because she overstepped her boundaries and got too clingy, or was legitimately trying to destroy your marriage. You have to be capable and prepared for all sorts of possibilities.

But, above all, you must treasure your quean as she treasures you. There's that whole sorta sappy mantra in BDSM that submission is a gift. I believe the same applies to cuckqueanism. It's a wonderful, heady gift that you receive. So, don't be a dick and look that gift horse in the mouth. It really is a satisfying lifestyle when approached with the attention and care it deserves. Take care of all the details, then reap the huge rewards.

Happy Cuckquean Hunting! 💋