chorus, they/them, autistic system, adult

Last update
2022-08-18 23:36:58

    i think the worst form of ableism is definitely “everyone around them has it worse.”

    it’s when you look up “how to cope with delusions” and the top 10 articles are how to cope with someone else’s delusions. here’s Google’s chosen result, if you dont believe me look it up yourself! (and btw - “how to cope with my delusions” and“how to cope with my own delusions” come up with the same Google’s chosen results.)

    this stupid shit has made me believe that no matter how traumatizing my delusions could ever be to me, the people who love me have it worse because of my own mental illness. no matter how scary it is for ME to actively lose my memory, it’s more inconveniencing to other people can it ever could be to me. how DARE i lose my fine motor skills, what about my loved ones and how they feel about it? how the fuck is this an acceptable way of viewing mental illness and disability? the top results for how to cope with ANYTHING should never be from an outsider’s view looking in. 

    i do not exist to be silenced by guilt and a non-psychotic’s need to feel comfortable around me. 

    i could say more but that’s enough anger out of me tonight


    Introducing: The Guide to Bottom Growth

    Quick warning as I will be using anatomical terms, and I will include anatomical diagrams.

  • What is bottom growth and what does it look like?
  • Bottom growth is a common term for the enlarged clitoris, after taking T.

    When you take testosterone, it induces growth in the clitoris. The growth can be pretty significant. When it grows, it comes to resemble a cis penis, on a smaller scale. It has a shaft, retractable foreskin, and head.

  • The clitoris and the penis- how are they related?
  • So, when a fetus is growing, they all start out female. The clitoris is the same bit as the glans or "head" of a cis man's penis. The growth into a penis is influenced by testosterone.

  • Can I prevent bottom growth?
  • No. Whether it grows a lot or a little is dependant on genes and your dosage, but it will happen.

    It is also irreversible. While some have claimed that it has shrunken after stopping T, this is unusual and may be dependant on your genes.

  • What are some other names for bottom growth?
  • This is all up to you, based on your personal preference. Some people stick to calling it their clit or clitoris, some call it a T-Dick, some call it their bottom growth and some refer to it as a cis man would, using terms like dick, cock, penis, etc.

  • How big does it get?
  • It varies, just like with penis size. On average, most people end up with around 1-2 inches. Some people can end up with more than 3 inches! Like cis penises, they get bigger when aroused.

  • Can I stand and pee from it?
  • No. Your bottom growth is located above the urethra. While some people have enough growth to guide the flow of urine along the bottom of the shaft, this is highly dependant on your personal anatomy and can be really messy!

    A surgery like *metoidioplasty can be preformed in conjunction with a urethral lengthening, which would then allow you to stand to pee using your bottom growth.

    *Metoidioplasty, or meta, is a type of bottom surgery that releases the bottom growth from the labia minora. It is typically preformed with urethral lengthening, scrotoplasty and a vaginectomy. However, not everyone chooses to have each of these surgeries.

    Below- Metoidioplasty, credits:

  • Can I use it for sex?
  • Yes. You can preform oral sex on bottom growth, just like with a cis penis. You can use toys on it- vibrators, fleshlights, strokers, etc. Whatever works for you.

  • Can I use it for penatrative sex?
  • Short answer: yes. If you have enough growth, you may be able to penetrate a vagina. However, to my knowledge, anal penetration is not possible with just bottom growth.

  • Do I need to clean it?
  • Yes. This can be done easily by pulling the foreskin back and cleaning any buildup out with a wet q-tip. This area may be sensitive- clean at your own pace.

    Below- Bottom growth diagrams, courtesy of

    Image 1: A is pre-T, B is post-T

    Image 2: Depicts the clitoris pre-T, low dose/flaccid bottom growth, and large/erect bottom growth

    As always please feel free to ask questions, I will answer to the best of my ability.


    Note: It might be possible, with finasteride, to prevent or reduce bottom growth, because the specific kind of hormone your body turns T into that causes bottom growth is the same hormone that causes hair loss, so taking finasteride can potentially prevent bottom growth, since it stops your body from turning T into that hormone. It's not super well documented though!


    i think grossness is a vital aspect of life btw and we all experience it and i think its important to represent in art and i think oversanitization of popular media is 100% our downfall. things are gross and disgusting and yucky and thats life we cannot deny ourselves this


    training yourself to be calm and curious in the face of disgusting things is one of the biggest favors you can do yourself

    maggots in the trash can? calm down. clean it up. free bird food.

    nasty porn? calm down. scroll past. shrug it off.

    assholes leaning on dehumanizing rhetoric to get away with hateful behavior: calm down. think about why they want you so shook up.

    when you’re disgusted, you’re reacting. you’re not thinking. you don’t wonder things, you don’t plan, you don’t learn anything. you just wince away, stomp the bug, ban the books, bully the freak.

    decay is a form of life. rot is inherent in the act of creation. things are made into other things. corpses become flies become corpses. filth is its own intricate ecosystem. things that are gross have an inherent worth and dignity.

    and sitting with your own revulsion, sticking your fingers in the dirt, listening quietly to the way the world digests itself: this is going to improve your experience of life so much. please try.


    something about these tags from roach really got me in the feelings


    So the popular “high school mean girls become nurses” refrain originated as anti-union astroturf. Wack.


    To expand somewhat, since this post seems to be gaining steam:

    There are patterns in social media activity that correspond to the introduction of House bills H.R.2581 and H.R.3165 (Nurse Staffing Standards for Hospital Patient Safety and Quality Care Act of 2019 and 2021, respectively). That sounds vague, I know. I’m sorry, I can’t say much more at present.

    Hiring an adequate number of nurses and providing higher quality care could cut into hospitals’ profit margins, so there’s intense and well-funded opposition. This includes efforts to prejudice the public. These efforts, it’s important to note, dovetail into a broader tried-and-true strategy of delegitimizing workers whose organizing power poses a threat to the right-wing agenda, including public sector workers and teachers in addition to nurses.

    One of a number of current tactics, e.g., is to try to get young people on the left to link nurses and teachers to cops. Watch for it on social media and you’ll see it sooner or later. Black women are often targeted—and moreover impersonated—to this end, as seems to be standard operating procedure for internet ratfuckers lately.

    The 2019 bill died in committee; this session’s version most likely will, too. Next time around I’m sure there’ll be even more of this crap.

    A similar initiative in Massachusetts was defeated by a massive industry push in 2018. California is currently the only state that mandates safe staffing ratios.

    National Nurses United has some good background information on ratios here.


    Look at anything talking about deliberate short staffing in hospitals or how dangerous it is for nursing staff and patients alike, and you’ll see people saying a) it’s not a problem because travel nurses are getting paid for their labor and b) nurses are all Mean Girls.

    And of course, the ten positive experiences they had in a hospital stay don’t count towards nurses, but the one nurse who didn’t get their pain meds in time because they’re horribly over ratio? Proof nurses shouldn’t be adequately paid and also that they’re cruel females who feed on suffering.

    Are there nurses who don’t care about their patients or who abuse their power? Of course. But ‘most nurses are mean girls’ is obviously nonsense and the timing of it all—during the pandemic, when nurses were speaking out the most—is…..


    Taking this out of the tags: Yes, that one mean girl you knew a decade ago in high school did become a nurse. She was also a fifteen year old child. But the other mean girl works at target, the other one works at the bank, and the other one became a SAHM. It’s confirmation bias.

    Falls go up when staffing is bad. Our nurses have been running 8:1 on bad days or 7:1 on “good days” when pre-Covid it was 5:1. It was also 5 techs for sixty two patients, about twelve each. Now, it’s not uncommon to have one tech for the whole floor of 60ish patients, with the nurses 8:1. Other days it’s ‘better’, the average day is 2 techs for the floor (~30 ea) with nurses at 7:1.

    This means prior to Covid, that averaged out to about four patients for each one worker, not including the charge nurse or unit secretary. Now it’s about seven patients to each worker.

    It’s dangerous. It results in falls, medication errors, higher rates of UTIs, more skin break down, more pressure injuries, more missed symptoms. Med passes being delayed, including Parkinson’s meds. More patients in ICU—as soon as an ICU bed opens up. If an ICU bed opens up.

    It’s dangerous. And the worse it gets, the more nurses leave because they’re risking their physical safety, their license, and frankly many are feeling depressed and even suicidal. Then, the more who leave, the worse the staffing is.

    It’s a crisis.


    Okay here’s the thing.

    Maybe I’m just in a totally different corner of the internet than y'all, but it feels disingenuous to just leave out the main context and reality to this discussion, which is “people, especially disabled people, talking about how nursing involves holding power over other people at their most vulnerable, and how abusers thrive in this position.”

    Like that’s a real thing. It’s not made up, it’s not a conspiracy, it’s a real, serious thing.

    This doesn’t mean nurses shouldn’t be able to unionize. I’ve never actually seen someone say that nurses “deserve” bad working conditions. (???) I’m sure the horrible state of things for nurses makes everything worse by making sure the compassionate people collapse under burnout and trauma. And obviously everyone is getting worse care when hospitals are understaffed.

    But it’s not as simple as “this thing was made up to demonize a profession so they couldn’t unionize,” that’s like, a hop skip and a jump away from conspiracy theory crap, and uhhh…

    …Have y'all missed out on the posts discussing the ins and outs of the legality of nurses filming patients in distress without their consent in order to mock them on TikTok?


    my take for the day. being edgy (and i mean shadow the hedgehog, 2005 mcr, scene kid edgy. not 4chan edgy) is in fact very good and i’d say even important 


    genuine expression of your emotions, especially your negative ones, is incredibly important to keep your mental health in check. doing it through music (listening or creating), clothes, makeup, poetry, etc is a safe and healthy way to do it 

    bottling up your emotions is never good. if listening to bring me the horizon helps you process your views on the world, do it. if smudging your eyeliner feels like you’re matching your inside to your outside, do it. if drawing bloody characters makes you feel better, do it. who cares if some boring loser thinks it’s cringe. do it for yourself 

    Hi so my computer, which is what I use for work, finally shit itself and doesn’t turn on anymore. Getting it repaired would cost more than just replacing it so I’ve been looking at some towers people are selling and found a good one but I don’t have the funds to cover it while also being able to afford my groceries for this week. If anyone out there can throw some spare change my way so I can get this tower and continue doing my job I would really appreciate it.

    This is the tower I want, plus the cost of the guy delivering it to me the total is $105. If 9 people were to send $10 and 3 send $5 I could cover this. thanks for reading this far and if you’re able to please reblog this. I know a lot of people are having hard times lately so please a simple reblog is the most help you can do for me.


    edit: 88/105


    i think that either being completely taken apart and having all my pieces gently washed and then put back together OR being crushed under a hydraulic press would fix me. i'm not picky about which one.


    alternatively if the above are too unreasonable then i think that if you were to cut open my skull and take out my brain and replace it with a large green grape that that would also fix me.


    i think that if you were to melt my entire body down into a goop and hand me off to the chocolate sculpture dude and he made a giant crab out of my goop that that would fix me.


    Its butch appreciation day appreciate ur local butch <3


    I wasnt kidding btw


    [ID: A screenshot of a google search result for "butch appreciation day". The result is the words "18 August", and then a link from reading "Happy Butch Appreciation Day--here's to all the butches!" A snippet from the site reads "Butch Appreciation Day, 18 August, is a day to celebrate butches everywhere, along with all that they do for us." End ID.]

    Help me get my anti depressants & get to work

    Hey y’all, my last post lost traction so here I am. I am broke like usual and I need help getting my medications. My dosage was just moved up and I desperately need to go get them. With my anti anxiety meds it comes out to 60$

    Any little bit helps and if you want nUde pics or vids in exchange for ur $ just DM me

    V*nmo: @Irradiatedcutie$Honeysucklecutie