Kol | 22 | he/they | a dumbass

Last update
2020-05-23 17:28:07

    It’s okay to be a beginner at the things you are interested in. There is no reason to feel intimidated by people more advanced than you are, because they too were in your place at one point. Keep learning and growing and expanding in whatever it is that you love and let nothing and no one stop you. You don’t have to be at the same stage as someone else. You can just be at your stage and that one is okay too.

    i had a very illuminating conversation with a guy about 10 years younger than me that really put this change into perspective, which is this:

    i have a very distinct memory, in my childhood, of the moment of my disillusionment.  i believed that grown-ups knew what they were doing, and that the things that seemed so obvious to me had to be obvious to them, too (things like DON’T GO TO WAR IN IRAQ, for example).  i believed that, and had that belief pulled out from under me, so my disillusionment comes with a sense of betrayal.

    a mere 10 years younger than me, this guy has no such moment or memory.  he never believed grown-ups were fundamentally competent, or good, or reasonable.  he never lived in a world where things didn’t feel constantly careening wildly out of control.  there’s no betrayal in his sense that the government has failed him - of course it has, it was always going to.  he doesn’t remember a time pre-bush, or pre-9/11, or pre-iraq war.  this is just what the world has always looked like for him.  so it’s not really a sense of “disillusionment,” actually - his generation never had any illusions to lose.  they’ve just been in this world so long it’s all they’ve ever known.