the stories that your lips tell
Last update
2018-08-19 03:16:02

    It has been so long since I have logged onto this account, but I just need to release some thoughts and complaints somewhere.

    The school year has barely began for the elementary school I worked at, but yesterday I got involved in this situation that made me quite speechless.  Well, I'll start by saying people shouldn't be so quick to judge teachers or any school staff when it comes to bullying.  People need to understand that any school staff can't simply take a student's words as the truth.  There needs to be observations made and documented to prove that a student is being bullied.  There's so much to it.  Well, I'm saying this because yesterday a fourth grade boy lied about getting bullied.  I was quite shocked at the lies he was telling.  This boy immediately told his dad that these two boys were bullying him when his dad came to pick him up.  I was pulled aside since I was the staff supervising them, so while my supervisor was questioning this boy whether he was playing with the other two boys or not, he actually told him, 'no,' even though I was watching them play together the entire time.  Then he lied that one of the boys pushed him to the ground even though he was the one who purposely collapsed onto the ground all by himself.  I also witnessed him walk straight up to one of the boys and purposely stepped on the boy's shoe, but he claimed he did it by accident and didn't see the boy's shoes.  I was in complete shock at the fact that this boy was trying to get these two other boys in trouble for 'bullying' when it never happened.  Luckily, his dad wasn't one of those parents who would throw an entire scene just because of their child's words.  I understand that parents want to believe their children can do no harm, but children are capable of lying for whatever reason.  Everything isn't black and white.  Sometimes you have to truly dig to find out the truth, so you can't just blame the school for not taking immediate action because not every child tells the truth.  I understand that there are schools that do absolutely nothing to help a child, but remember that is not always the case.  I don’t know why this boy wanted to get those two boys in trouble.  Maybe he was scared he was going to get in trouble because he actually wasn’t listening when I told him to stop misbehaving.  I don’t know.  But I’m quite upset at the way the situation was handled.  My supervisor actually took that boy’s side and made the other boys apologize even though I said the boy was lying.  That’s basically showing me that my supervisor is choosing to not believe my words and would rather believe this boy who looks like he can do no harm.  Ugh.  I’m upset about it and think I need to talk to someone in a higher position about this because I don’t understand why that boy lied.  And my supervisor isn’t showing that he is competent enough to lead us to work with young children.  At least I know I need to keep an eye on this kid now in case he does something like this again.

    I work as a tutor in an elementary afterschool program.  It has always been my dream to make a difference in young children’s lives because we don’t know which one of our children needs the extra love and support.  And I’m not sure how well I’m doing, but I like to believe I am doing something right. 

    I work directly with kindergartners, but I have gotten to know a lot of other students in the program.  There is a specific group of 4th grade boys who often find themselves in trouble, but whenever they’re with me, they don’t give me any trouble.  Two of them actually asked me if they can stay in my class forever.  When I asked them why.  They told me that my class is always fun and I’m the nicest tutor in the program.  Hearing that from them made me really happy.  Every child is special, but hearing that from boys who can be more difficult than other students made it more touching for me. 

    There’s another 4th grade boy who often gets in trouble.  Usually my supervisor would send him to my class whenever he’s in trouble.  I don’t know what he does wrong because it’s something kept between my supervisor and his direct tutor, but I always wonder what it can be because I find it hard to understand why he’s always in trouble.  He’s always such a happy and friendly boy whenever I see him.  He actually kept bothering me for some time last semester to be in my class, but that wasn’t up to me.  However, he did end up staying with me for a couple of weeks since he showed better behavior with me.  Never gave me any trouble.  And when I asked him why he wanted to stay in my class. He simply told me that he liked my class which also made me quite happy.  I always feel like I need to improve more to make my class more fun, so to hear these “difficult” boys tell me that they like my class makes me relieved and happy.  If they like my class, then maybe I am doing something right.

    Movie category of the week: Disney Renaissance movies

    The Disney Renaissance refers to an era from 1989-1999 during which Walt Disney Animation Studios returned to making more musical animated films that were mostly based on well-known stories, and it allowed Disney’s animated films to become powerhouse successes at the domestic and foreign box office; making much more profit than most of the other Disney films of the past eras. (x) (x)

    The animated films released during this period include:The Little Mermaid (1989), The Rescuers Down Under (1990), Beauty and the Beast (1991), Aladdin (1992), The Lion King (1994), Pocahontas (1995), The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996), Hercules (1997), Mulan (1998) and Tarzan (1999).

    So today I went to the clinic to get my immunizations.  It's my first time there, so I was going to meet my doctor for the first time.  As I was waiting alone in the room, I kept hearing a male voice talking to a patient next door.  I figured it was the doctor, but I thought to myself, 'he sounds kind of young.'  All the doctors I have ever met are old.  A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door and the doctor walks in.  To my surprise, he IS young AND cute.  I'm cool about it though because he's my doctor and I'm just his patient.  He asks me how to pronounce my name and then tells me his, but honestly I didn’t even catch it...I was a bit distracted.  So he makes some small talk, asking if we've met before because I look familiar, but I'm just thinking to myself, 'No, we haven't met because I don't ever leave my house.  And I'm a new patient here.' (I'm an introvert, so I love staying home.)  Anyway, then he proceeds to just go over the information I provided and then when it gets to the part about my period, his entire face turned red for whatever reason.  I just stared at him, pretending I didn't notice his face was red as he asked some questions about my period.  There are no feelings at all or any type of strong attraction, but damn, I never expected I will get a cute doctor.


    Motivation is overrated. No amount of motivation would’ve gotten me through hours of my accounting textbook. No “vision” is enough to keep me awake til the crack of dawn on an essay that I don’t even know if the professor will check. Discipline is what determines how far you go. On those days when your cute little list of #goals and vision of yourself 5 years from now aren’t enough, discipline will pull you out of bed and get you to work. I wish I knew this in high school because I thought I couldn’t work without motivation. I wasted so much time trying to find purpose before I realized that working now, albeit blindly, will ensure that I could chase any purpose I discover in the future. Sure, motivation is crucial, but it’s not consistent. It’s not reliable. You can only rely on yourself and your grit. 




    The brain is an organ. Mental illnesses are illnesses of that organ. Brain scans show that there is a physical difference between a healthy brain and a sick brain. Telling someone “You’re not really sick. It’s all in your head.” is like telling someone with asthma “It’s not real, it’s all in your lungs.” The brain is an organ that can malfunction as much as any other organ.




    I talk about this with my brothers because mental illness is serious and people need to stop overlooking it.  Just like other illnesses, it needs to be looked at and fixed.  It shouldn’t make people uncomfortable.  It shouldn’t be looked at as though it’s something shameful.  You don’t look at someone with asthma or cancer as though it’s shameful.  Mental illness doesn’t make a person weak or crazy.  It’s an illness and people with them need help just like everyone else.

    As an early childhood education major, my professors often put an emphasis on the importance of attachment between a child and adult.  People who work in an early childhood environment must create these attachments to build trust between them and the children.  I’m not working in the field yet, but last semester I took a class that required the students to observe a specific child 3 hours weekly to assess their developmental level.  An important part of the observation was to build a trusting relationship with this child.  To be honest, I felt that the child I chose liked my company, but I wasn’t sure to what extent.  I always felt I was a bit lacking because I only got 3 hours a week to get to know her better and the observation only lasted for about 12 weeks.  So after the semester was over, I just thought...it was nice to get to know that precious, young child, but she probably won’t remember me if I went there again.  Well, I did go to that same classroom recently to do another observation for a different class.  The girl I observed wasn’t there when I arrived.  Then the children soon left the classroom to play outdoors while I stayed inside to fill in my workbook.  When the children came back, I was standing near the door, but out of their way.  The girl I observed last semester walked in and when she saw me, she smiled and ran to give me a hug.  The last time I saw her was at the end of November 2016, but she actually remembered me.  And honestly, that was so rewarding, like I just felt I was actually able to create a relationship with this young child which is something I just didn’t feel confident about because I am still a bit self-conscious with acting silly with children when other adults are watching.  I was happy that she recognized me and that hug I received from her has helped me feel a bit more confident with what I’m doing as an early childhood education major. :)