That guy, from FF

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Last update
2021-09-19 02:04:30

    i’ve mixed cranberry mikes harder and cucumber lime gatorade into a drink i like to call “the flavor” because like. you drink this shit and your tongue is like “there’s a taste here. you are experiencing a flavor” but when you go to open the door there’s no flavor there. it comes back with an undefined error in the flavor column. it’s the missingno of flavors. it so absolutely and definitely tastes like something and that thing is nothing.


    im going to make this brb


    okay so i found a gas station that had the stuff so i made it

    diagnosis: it tastes?


    I want to be a white dad in a horror movie


    Currently moving my brunette wife and our dejected children into an abandoned ghost factory for a fresh start


    Honey, don't worry about our daughter's new habit of standing in front of the security camera in her playroom and murmuring about bones every night. That's probably just something women do


    Why shouldn't our son play in the pitch black sub-basement that was walled shut with bricks until I started renovations? He's a growing boy


    Finally caving to my wife's irrational fear and typing "ghosts?" into the Google search bar


    I know this is probably more serious but I like to imagine someone at the FTC was just pissed they couldn't get their ice cream at McDonald's


    So it’s McDonald’s sabotaging and extorting franchises and not just lazy workers?


    No, not everything is always lazy workers sorry.


    I’ve asked for a shake at a Burger King and I’ve literally been told they don’t feel like it so I wouldn’t be surprised


    I'm sorry but that's fucking hilarious


    Yeah you don't sound like you deserve a shake tbh




    They’re also chordates, like us vertebrates! Their embryos have basically the same anatomy as ours, but the notochord, the part that becomes our spinal column, just remains a notochord until they’re ready to become a jelly bag forever. Then they digest the notochord as well as their own brain because they won’t need either of them.


    So fucking jealous right now these little bastards get to just live their best life meanwhile I gotta drive 40 miles to work each morning and pay taxes


    “Why do people like a character who’s committed war crimes but hate this other character just because they’re annoying” because it’s fiction Susan, and being annoying in fiction is a greater sin than being a supervillain, because it won’t make me want to read about them. It isn’t difficult to understand


    “It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.” (Oscar Wilde)