@0paquedreams
ghost queen
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2021-01-18 06:19:57

    “Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome. People cannot abide being around you when you are depressed. They might think that they ought to, and they might even try, but you know and they know that you are tedious beyond belief: you are irritable and paranoid and humorless and lifeless and critical and demanding and no reassurance is ever enough. You’re frightened, and you’re frightening, and you’re “not at all like yourself but will be soon,” but you know you won’t.”

    Kay Redfield Jamison, An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness

    I keep thinking about how we really had teachers yelling at us as children and had to ask for permission to eat or go to the bathroom and couldnt choose who we sit next to until we were 18... and we really were obedient to all these obscure rules... and thinking about how we had our grown ass 50 year old fathers starting arguments with us over nothing and screaming without us being able to yell back??? As children? Our parents making fun of us for normal behaviours and things we cant do anything about like the way we look and genuinely thinking its funny and a good idea to do that? Youre all 50 years old arguing with and getting mad at 14 year old children for being children??? Idk its really hitting me that adults didnt use to see kids as people when we were growing up and they were so wrong for that because now as a grown adult i cant imagine treating children like it used to be normal for me as a child to be treated.... what goes on in your head for you to do that to them.