ghost queen

anyway, I could have loved you endlessly.

Last update
2022-09-28 05:06:54

    β€œIn an experiment revealing the importance of having friendships, social psychologists have found that perceptions of task difficulty are significantly shaped by the proximity of a friend. In their experimental design, the researchers asked college students to stand at the base of a hill while carrying a weighted backpack and to estimate the steepness of a hill. Some participants stood next to close friends whom they had known a long time, some stood next to friends they had not known for long, and the rest stood alone during the exercise. The students who stood with friends gave significantly lower estimates of the steepness of the hill than those who stood alone. Furthermore, the longer the close friends had known each other, the less steep the hill appeared to the participants involved in the study. In other words, the world looks less difficult when standing next to a close friend.”

    β€” my new favorite psychological study, done by Schnall, Harber, Stefanucci, and Proffitt and published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

    May you find someone who is gentle to you. May you get a person who sees you and figures you out, only to be consistently kind and understanding to you. Someone who finds it easy not to prod you where it hurts, and to respect that some things are uniquely painful to you. Someone who has the patience for all of your triggers, without trying to fix them. Someone who lets you take all of the steps in your recovery on your own, but cheers you on, on every step of the way.


    I think we should normalize going to periods in our life where we do not have any friends. Feel like it will happen to everyone at some point in your life. Doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. It’s just your turn now and it will pass


    Maybe you got bullied in primary school and had no friends because of it. Or you changed schools during middle school and find out you didn’t fit in with your new class all that well. You make a cross country-move or go through a divorce. Losing friends and the loneliness because of it can happen to anybody at any age. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and many of us will go through it

    I hate that the stock response for "I'm lonely/I feel undervalued by my loved ones/I want a romantic partner" is "well do you value YOURSELF? You need to learn to enjoy being alone!" as if lonely people aren't very intimately familiar with being alone. Self esteem and love are important but they're not substitutes for companionship or friendship or romance and pretending that loneliness is a personal failure that can be fixed by self-improvement feels not only delusional but pretty cruel