having a friend sleep over when you were 10: omfg lets stay up until 4 am and prank call people and watch movies and gossip about everyone from our school and go on a sugar high omfg we're so cool

    having a friend sleep over when you're 16: shut the fuck up faggot i'm trying to sleep if i hear you breathe one more time i will fucking end your existence seriously do you want to fucking sleep outside

    A guide to US states and cities

    New York City: tourists, gay, tourists, peanuts, FUCKING TOURISTS

    Idaho: Potatoes

    Michigan: that lake place

    Florida: DISNEY WORLD and those other parks

    San Diego: gay, Princess Diaries, That's So Raven

    Wisconsin: cheese

    Montana and the Dakotas: population of cows exceeds that of humans

    New Jersey: garden state my ass

    Vermont: Canada on drugs

    Dallas: stereotypical south

    New Orleans: alcohol, fried donuts, jazz music (the place to be)

    Philadelphia: Cream Cheese, beat anyone who calls it "the city," fair chance of being mugged

    Oklahoma: why


    Los Angeles: traffic not worth the possibility of spying a celeb

    Kentucky: not enjoyable at all, two stars would not recommend

    Maine: how are you even a part of the US?

    Chicago: everyone has a gun so don't piss us off

    Minnesota: t-shirts and shorts when it's below zero

    Pennsylvania: Hershey chocolate, no we're not all Amish, liberty bell, constitution, declaration of independence, will smith, ben franklin

    Seattle: If you look to your left, you will see a Starbucks, and if you take a look to your right, you'll also see a Starbucks.

    Denver: Yes pot is legal, everyone has a dog and no one is fat. Also, Manning.

    Iowa: Corn field, corn field, corn field, cows, Ashton Kutcher lived here, corn field, corn field

    California: Disneyland, beach, surf, Disneyland, mexicans, bleach blondes, Disneyland

    Me: I think I'm gonna go to sleep now.

    TV: lol but good shows are on.

    iPod: sleep? Is that a new app?

    Sleeping position: lol I'm not gonna be comfortable.

    Mind: what's the meaning of life though?

    Temperature: lol it's too hot and too cold.

    Noises: oh, you said be louder? Okay.

    Body: Lol time for itches.

    Person I like: Hey