He sees her again on a December night. The soft light of street lamps and chistmas lights makes everything look slightly vague, the trees, the buildings - the people. Their faces are all blurred around the edges. But hers isn’t. Her cheeks are flushed from the cold and her eyes are glowing - those brilliant eyes of hers that once made him feel things he’d never felt before and were the perfect place to get lost in. She doesn’t notice him at first. Her arm is slung around her friend’s shoulder and she’s laughing, loud and over the top and exaggerated, not caring what anyone nearby thinks. Like she used to laugh with him. But then her gaze locks on his and he thinks how idiotic he must look: standing on the corner of the street, staring at her as though she’s the brightest star in the sky, letting other people shove past him and shoot him glares for standing in their paths. But she is the brightest thing to look at. She is and she always was and he didn’t see it before and he let her go, he let her slip through his fingers when he should have held on, when he should have fought for her to stay. Now all he can do is stare, stare at her smile and her messy hair and the way the corner of her lips turn up when she nods at him. All he can do is commit the sight of her being so happy to memory and to hold on to it. To accept that he’ll never get more than this again, randomly running into her and being glad that she noticed him. Being glad that she found a way to laugh without him. Because it’s all his fault. He let her get away. More than once he let her go when he should have been her reason to stay.

    The one that got away
    n.j. (via ninasdrafts)

    Did you eat and drink today? Your body needs food as fuel so it can live and function, so please eat ❤️

    If you forgot today, you didn’t feel hungry and couldn’t get yourself to eat, or you didn’t have the spoons for food it’s okay. Self care isn’t always easy and sometimes it might be impossible but please try, for me and you and everyone who loves you. Tomorrow you will have the space for improvement, please eat the food you need.