SIMPLE PLAN PLAYED WHATS NEW SCOOBY DOO AT EPCOT
The Des Moines Register, Iowa, March 28, 1916
I be checking my phone like I mean something to somebody lmao
valykas
theboycourtOk but how did they make it look like he was driving
cali-cocaine
2002bapeYOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.
totallynotmishaplease read this whole thing.
srsfunny
official-liberty-primeImagine being rushed into the ER and reading this as they push you through though
celticpyroAt least it means you’re the speed reading champion and the world is about to lose an icon.
during sex
girlfriend: why are u laughing
me: thought of a meme
orzesc
cannon-fannonTHIS SPEAKS TO ME ON A MOLECULAR LEVEL RIGHT NOW.
rtahuniverseYou are witnessing a broken human being
mauridianhallowThis is actually me like constantly now
queensarcasrnThe older I get the more I identify with this when I come across it
spock-sockI just got a new humidifier and I am fuckin’ pumped
flowerinaflame
kadijah-applebum
carbonated-milk-deactivated2016hey if ur ever feelin shitty use this
azkabanescapeeHoly shit I’m trying not to cry.
the1975-bastillei really needed this one tonight
gingerb3ardomfg
i-guess-im-okayDo it!!!
quitebisexualReblogging because this is great for anyone needing support rn
i’d probably join a gang if it meant free fruit roll ups
sixpenceee
steezegoddessBILL BILL BILL BILL BILL BILL
ninemoons42HOLY SHIT
when ur heart does the !!!!! thing when someone texts you and youre like fuck…prolly gonna fall in love with them
You can’t change a person who doesn’t see an issue in their actions.
(via words-of-emotion)
(via words-of-emotion)
Something I wish more people would understand…
reyskywalker
periru3I just went from having 0 feelings either negative or positive about Taylor Lautner and after watching this and with no other knowledge of him as a person I fully believe that he is a gift to humanity if for nothing other than this single contribution.
thatsthat24I… I want Taylor Lautner… to be friends with me.
fitjynI loved him before but now I’m 12x deeper
Just because I don’t talk to you, or text you first, doesn’t mean I don’t miss you. I’m just waiting for you to miss me.
@sexual-texts (via sexual-texts)