love is life
Last update
2014-09-20 21:50:03

    sick and tired of not being understood, always being to blame and never being taken seriously. My feelings should matter and they simply don't to anyone and everyone takes it for granted that i'll be fine just because I have a solid life and it sucks at times. Always left feeling upset


    It's both scary and amazing how reliant a person can be on another. I have been with my girlfriend, Hannah, (otherwise known as cowardlyelephant) for over 3 and a half years now. We've had one hell of a journey but right now is the time I feel more towards her than ever. She is the only person in my whole life I can always rely on to make me smile, to make me enjoy life & experience things I never would experience if she wasn't here. She makes me a happier and better person and It's a cliche but, I do not know what I would be without her. I mean that. People say it and don't mean it, but I do. I don't know how to express it anymore and I feel like right now is a very very shit point in my life yet the next day it is absolutely amazing... because of her. It really is all because of her. Yes I have a good family, good friends, a good job, plenty of things to keep me entertained, but I wouldn't EVER enjoy these things If I didn't have her. When she's sad, i'm sad. When she's angry, i'm sad that she's angry. When she's happy, I'm ecstatic that she's happy. I feel like she is a part of me and what she feels I feel, and that if she isn't happy, it's impossible for me to feel the same. All I want is for my girl to feel loved, safe, and most of all, above ANYTHING... i want her to be happy.

    I wish I could talk about problems I have but I always feel it's a massive breach of trust and privacy so for that reason, I keep everything bottled up and I am always down. She is the only one I feel comfortable talking to everything about and sometimes that isn't even achievable which is terrible because then i'm alone and trapped with no one to talk to yet sit by myself and worry, panic, be upset.

    Don't get me wrong, things are good. We've spent our first holiday together this summer in France with my family and it was amazing. It was great to give her an experience she'd never had, going abroad. One thing I love above all is being the one to give her a first-time experience. I want her to experience new things with me, and for us to experience things for the first time together. Ultimately, I just want to be together.

    I've known for the entirety of our relationship that this girl is the one I want to be with for the rest of my life, whatever anyone wants to make of that. I don't believe in you being 'too young for love' because I have experienced it and I know it's possible. Obviously there is a limit, but I was just shy of 14 when I got with Hannah and yes, the early days of a relationship are 'immature' and innocent but I KNOW that what i feel now stems from that.

    I want to publicly speak of this because I am proud of my girl, i'm proud of who she is and what she's done to me. I'm thankful of who she's made me and the confidence she has given me. I love you Hannah, I hope you can see this & know this, i love you x