My name's Taylor. I've spent the past five or so years on this dumb site, and I don't really plan on leaving any time soon. I blog about lots of stuff. Enjoy! -Anon 3 (p.s. my old blog is at moved-2ollux2miindhoney.tumblr.com. it won't be updated anymore because I can't access it, but it's there, with over 100,000 posts accrued over 5 years. I'm proud of it.)

Last update
2020-07-03 02:58:19

    The only version of a Princess Bride remake I would maybe kind of accept (aside from a Muppet version): the framing story is this extremely meta exploration of the fact that they’re remaking The Princess Bride.

    Like, it’s a bunch of actors at the table read, and the main story would be the “movie footage” of those actors in the remade film, but the film would periodically cut back to those actors during the table read, who are skeptical of certain points, or fangirling over moments in the movie, or wondering how they could ever live up to the original version. Everyone has different opinions about the movie and the characters and the other actors and it’s about seven different levels of chaotic meta and character dynamics. For extra fun,these different opinions about the movie and the characters are reflected in the “movie footage”. Like, say, Buttercup’s actress objects to the fact that she’s less than useless during the fire swamp scene, so they play the scene with Buttercup walloping ROUSes with previously unseen martial arts skills. But then someone else objects to how stupid that is, and the next scene has her going back to exaggerated uselessness. Or one actor thinks Humperdinck should be played with mustache-twirling villainy, and another one thinks he should have complex layers of emotional turmoil, so the “footage” pingpongs randomly between those two interpretations.

    And then you could add to the meta by having some of the original cast among the remake cast’s actors–like, they were brought in for nostalgia cameos, but then they have opinions about how the story is supposed to go and start coaching the remake actors. Which leads to things like, suddenly Cary Elwes is in black and “playing the part” of Westley for a scene or two in the “movie footage” with no acknowledgement of the change.

    I’m just saying that, from the first publication of the original book, The Princess Bride has been all about the adaptation process. So if we have to have a remake, let’s live up to that legacy and make it a remake about remakes.

    Zuko is 100% Hakoda’s favorite of the gaang.

     Hakoda was a textbook Cool Parent and on top of that he was a single dad raising the only waterbender in the south pole and Sokka (who is wonderful, but you cannot convince me he would have been easy to raise). We know that Katara and Sokka love and respect him and everything, but we know that Katara has absolutely no qualms about talking back to him and we know Katara and Sokka fought constantly. Hakoda’s the type of parent that would let his kids call him by his first name in an argument. 

    Enter the gaang. Aang is an absolute sweetheart and is, of course, super nice to Hakoda at all times. But he’s also been raised with the mentalities of ‘adults are your friends’ and ‘you’re the avatar and have more responsibility and importance than all adults combined.’ It’s kind of hard to be casual around the Avatar who is also dating your daughter no matter how sweet he is. Toph has absolutely no respect for authority and she likes Hakoda because he’s not overbearing or shitty like her parents, but she’s an independent child who doesn’t want a dad figure, thank you very much. 

    Then we have Zuko: aside from the whole ‘helped bust him out of prison’ thing, let’s be real, this boy would be the favorite. Hakoda was a cool parent and subsequently ended up with two kids who love him but are also The Product Of Cool Parenting Wild Kids. Zuko on the other hand was raised in the ways of Respect Your Elder or Perish By Their Hand (which wasnt good by any means) and as a result is Level 20 polite and respectful to deserving authority/dad figures. This kid would ‘yes sir’ and ‘thank you, sir’ all over the place and Hakoda would be like “a teenager with manners??? sign me the fuck up????”. Not to mention Zuko spent as much time on the sea as Hakoda did and has all that naval knowledge and of course there’s the whole Ending the War upon becoming Firelord thing. 

    Like, Zuko would spend time with Hakoda and be his people-pleasing self and Hakoda would turn to his kids like “why is your friend more polite to me than you guys are?” (in a joking way) and they would be like “FUCK Zuko you gave him standards.” And at first Zuko would be super fucking anxious around the man for several obvious reasons, but eventually they’d all get to the point where Sokka’s getting messenger hawks that say ‘I’m at your house and if you’re not here in 10 minutes me and Hakoda are starting dinner without you -Firelord Zuko’ 

    (meanwhile Hakoda tells Iroh that his nephew is just so gd respectful and polite and Iroh is like “are we talking about the same boy? you were not here for his banishment period.”)