Indelicacy By Amina Cain

Avery. 1995. currently reading: Unworthy Republic: The Dispossession of Native Americans and the Road to Indian Territory by Claudio Saunt.

Last update
2021-01-26 19:44:25

    A woman pours so much hand sanitizer on her hands that it runs off and spills all over the floor. It is pooling at her feet. She continues pouring it. A security guard comes over. Ma’am, you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. The security guard slips, falls. The security guard is covered in hand sanitizer. The security guard is so clean. The woman is so clean. The woman’s hands are so clean.


    the hell did I just read


    today my therapist told me that sometimes negative feelings like guilt, anxiety, self loathing, etc are like the hiccups. they’re uncomfortable, we don’t like them, there’s no way to turn them off; they can even be incapacitating for a while. we don’t always know where they came from or when they’ll go away, so sometimes instead of focusing on why we feel a certain way we need to get better at recognizing its temporary nature, keeping perspective, and enduring discomfort. i feel like a lot of self-improvement rhetoric is about pinpointing specific causes for negative thoughts/behaviors so you can eradicate them, but people with chronic mental illness really need to work on allowing themselves to experience these feelings without going into a downward spiral.


    with the caveat that mindfulness isn’t for everyone, it can be useful here. “oh crud, I’m feeling X again. well, there it is. this sure is happening right now.” acknowledging without interrogating or trying to draw conclusions.

    what I like about it is it gives me room to feel the feeling, but also to step back one and say “yep, that’s a feeling I’m having,” which is better than “I am this feeling and this is forever.”

    (how much time have I wasted trying to figure out WHY I’m feeling something when it was really just the equivalent of a random muscle cramp?)


    This is very accurate. So much of 20th century pop psychology is about finding the hidden cause of your moods and problems, so you can properly DELVE into them. But honestly, especially if you have a mental illness/mood disorder, it’s just your brain experiencing a temporary glitch. Determining triggers can be helpful for learning to manage your life, but also sometimes shit just happens and you have to learn that it is temporary and not something you need to do deep soul-searching about. It doesn’t necessarily say anything about YOU.

    🌟 I’m pleased to  unveil my latest piece, Les Jardins de Nuit (Night’s Gardens). This piece is part of a series I started with « The Rise ». When I met Psyche, we wrote a short story called Night and Dawn. Les Jardins de Nuit is an allegory of the gardens in the mind of Psyche (Night). I like to imagine that each of us could be represented by an enigmatic landscape. An entire universe as a mirror of our lives, with its trees, its diaphanous temple, its flowers, its ruins, its skies and its path to the stars⭐️.

    This piece will be part of the exhibition Midnight Garden, in the Modern Eden Gallery. An international Group Exhibition curated by Beautiful Bizarre Magazine. 

     We will be releasing a  fine art print enhanced with gold leaf in the coming weeks. 

     For those of you who participated in my kickstarter campaign, “Les Jardins de Nuit” will be included in all the editions of my artbook Forgotten Gods, and gilded with golden stamping in the Lustratio and Celestial Editions. 

     Model : Psyché Ophiuchus