Make Yourself Hard To Kill

| Rachel | ageless flammable gremlin |

The Republican Nuclear Family’s Worst Nightmare

| the lactose intolerant grandpa friend |

Last update
2020-07-12 15:54:02

    *blows a kiss at my knife block* for mai

    *blow a kiss at my planner* for sokka

    *blows a kiss at a kite* for aang

    *blows a kiss at the lightning* for azula

    *blows a kiss at a garbage can* for ozai

    *blows a kiss at the wheat field next door* for Jet

    *blows a kiss at my electric fan* for Suki

    *blows a kiss at the dirt* for Toph 

    *blows a kiss at the rain* for katara

    *blows a kiss at the produce isle* for the Cabbage Guy

    *blows a kiss at a sheet of metal* for the ember island players special effects guy

    From a friend...

    So if you didn’t catch this mornings shitshow, it went basically like this:

    The CDC put out its official recommendations and requirements states should meet before reopening schools.

    Trump went to twitter, shitted on the CDC recommendations, demanding that k-12 schools fully open up in the fall. He threatened to cut federal funding if they do not.

    Then the coronavirus task force held a press conference, minus Fauci, because he’s on the President’s shit list.

    Betsy Devos said she really really really wants kids back in school. She does not know how to do this, offered no suggestions. Just that they need to open, and leaves it up to local officials to figure it out.

    Vice President Pence said children are resilient. Basically made out of cartilage with healthy lungs. They probably won’t get sick, so we shouldn’t worry about them. There is also no disagreement between the CDC and Trump. Trump wants schools to open, and just doesn’t want the CDC’s guidelines to be the reason for schools not opening?

    Yes, he actually said he doesn’t want states to keep their schools closed just because their own CDC says it is not safe to open.

    So the VP says, don’t worry, let’s bring up the Director of the CDC to clarify. -And I could‘ve sworn I heard this guy gulp off camera.

    But the director of the CDC comes up and says he also wants schools to open safely. He said he likes his job and wants to keep it, therefore, he is also in full agreement with Trump, despite the guidelines they released hours before.

    So then Dr. Birx comes on and says half the country has seen a surge of new cases. The country is worse off than it was back at the start of all this. She said they should return to phase 1 and start all over.

    Now, an astute reader may wonder how do half the states return to phase 1, and still expect to open by fall? Good question. ..... And while you were thinking about it, Birx tries to leave the podium.

    But before she gets away, Pence stops her, suggests she ‘talk about that other thing about the children’. She hesitates, then agrees.

    She comes back up to the mic, says most children probably won’t die. Maybe 0.02%. And usually the ones who die were already sick, so you parents at home may want to keep an eye on them. Oh- and we have virtually no data on how transmissible the virus is in children because we’ve barely tested any of them, but let me get out of your hair.

    Pence comes back and says, see, we’re good here.


    So while all that is going Cuomo is holding his own press conference.

    He says I don’t even give a shit what Trump is saying. It’s not worth responding to the clown. States control school openings, and we will do it as safely as possible, end of discussion.

    Other states blew off our warnings, and now they are paying the price. You want to fix your states? Pull your heads out of your asses and follow our example.


    And Fauci has gone total rogue. He has been giving interviews across the media spectrum, politely telling anyone who will listen that following trump’s orders regarding the Coronavirus will lead to certain doom. Death and economic disaster on a scale never seen before. Please turn back while you still can.

    And now you are filled in.


    <>taking any college course on societal issues in the united states is just like: *realizes its bc of reagan* *traces the cause back to reagan* *discovers the original policy came out of the reagan administration* *finds factual inaccuracies ignored by the reagan administration that are then used to push policy* *finds statistics that show the severity of the aids crisis as well as the beginning of mass incarceration of poc were caused by reagan* *hates reagan*

    Not the celebrity news we ever expected to read, but the celebrity news we <>deserve to read.

    While speaking to Slate for an oral history of the cabbage merchant, Sie playfully said, "Of course, now I’m more at the age of what the cabbage merchant was then. I will cultivate that little beard if they need me to. And because my face is quite expressive, I’m perfect for a live-action version of an animated show. I’m ready."

    Please let this guy play the cabbage man

    It's important to me that people know James Sie was also Jackie Chan in the Jackie Chan cartoon

    Concept: there's so much pushback against Zuko marrying someone from the Water Tribe (something about foreign interests idk) that he turns around and says "ok I'll find someone else"

    He turns up the next day, and introduces his new suitor. "This is Wang Fire, respected veteran and citizen of the fire nation."

    He produces all of the legal documents proving that Wang Fire is a citizen, and the council wants to argue that it's just Sokka in red with a beard, but they can't because whenever he shows up in blue, Zuko refers to him as "Ambassador Sokka."

    Maybe they take it a step further (and drive everyone a bit more crazy) Sokka says in a scandalous voice "How could I be married to Zuko when I'm already married to Lee from the Earth Kingdom? You know Lee? Everyone knows Lee with the Good Tea from the Teashop." When he shows proof, it's just a picture of Zuko wearing green holding a teapot.

    And everyone just seethes.

    my favorite, oddly specific trope is when both the hero and the villain know each other’s secret identities and they wind up bumping into each other when they’re in civilian mode, but they can’t throw down (even though they both REALLY want to) because surprise! they have a mutual friend. so they’re just sitting across from each other at the dinner table awkwardly avoiding eye contact and desperately trying to dodge Oblivious Friend’s questions about what they did over the weekend because they can’t very well sit there and be like “oh yeah this weekend was fun, i went to the movies and then i threw a truck at this asshole’s head” or “not great, there was an issue at the bank and before i could make off with the money, THIS asshole threw a truck at my head”

    bonus points if their mutual friend mistakes their awkwardness for attraction and keeps trying to set them up


    more bonus points if it actually fucking WORKS 

    unless one character in the equation is a heinous asshole or something, i am entirely impervious to love triangles. 

    i live by the “____ has two hands” meme motto

    “oh no!! two friends fell in love with the same person, what will they do???? who will have to sacrifice their heart?<>?” NOBODY, BITCH. 

    “a character thought their spouse was dead but they finally moved on and have a new spouse they love… but now the original spouse is back! who will bow out for the others’ happine<>ss??” I MEAN, ALL THREE OF THEM HAVE WEDDING RINGS ON ALREADY…

    “this trio of adventurers have faced hell and high water together and developed incredibly deep bonds with each other during their quest, but now that their quest has come to a close, which two of them will settle down together?<>” COZY COTTAGES IN THE WOODS ARE BIG ENOUGH FOR THREE.


    Kill the love triangle. Normalize polyamory.