I'm The Forrest Gump Of Memes

Nicole. 23. I don't know what the fuck this blog is anymore.

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    I am 100% convinced that “exit, pursued by a bear” is a reference to some popular 1590s meme that we’ll never be able to understand because that one play is the only surviving example of it.

    Seriously, we’ll never figure it out. I’ll wager trying to understand “exit, pursued by a bear” with the text of The Winter’s Tale as our primary source is like trying to understand loss.jpg when all you have access to is a single overcompressed JPEG of a third-generation memetic mutation that mashes it up with YMCA and “gun” - there’s this whole twitching Frankensteinian mass of cultural context we just don’t have any way of getting at.

    no, but this is why people do the boring archival work! because we think we do know why “exit, pursued by a bear” exists, now, and we figured it out by looking at ships manifests of the era -

    it’s also why there was a revival of the unattributed and at the time probably rather out of fashion mucedorus at the globe in 1610 (the same year as the winter’s tale), and why ben jonson wrote a chariot pulled by bears into his court masque oberon, performed on new year’s day of 1611.

    we think the answer is polar bears.

    no, seriously!  in late 1609 the explorer jonas poole captured two polar bear cubs in greenland and brought them home to england, where they were purchased by the beargarden, the go-to place in elizabethan london for bear-baiting and other ‘animal sports.’  it was at the time run by edward alleyn (yes, the actor) and his father-in-law philip henslowe (him of the admiral’s men and that diary we are all so very grateful for), and would have been very close, if not next to, the globe theatre.

    of course, polar bear cubs are too little and adorable for baiting, even to the bloodthirsty tudor audience, aren’t they?  so, what to do with the little bundles of fur until they’re too big to be harmless?  well, if there’s anything we know about the playwrights and theatre professionals of the time, it’s that they knew how to make money and draw in audiences.  and the spectacle of a too-small-to-be-dangerous-yet-but-still-real-live-and-totally-WHITE-bear?  what good entertainment businessman is going to turn down that opportunity? 

    and, voila, we have a death-by-bear for the unfortunate antigonus, thereby freeing up paulina to be coupled off with camillo in the final scene, just as the comedic conventions of the time would expect.

    you’re telling me it was an ACTUAL BEAR

    every time I think to myself “history can’t possibly get any more bananas” I realize or am made to realize that I am badly mistaken

    Not just an actual bear. A polar bear cub.

    Imagine a fully grown man running offstage to be “killed” by a baby polar bear.


    My mum has six brothers. They all live in Pakistan- as does the rest of her family. I went there recently after ten years and saw them all. For the first time in my life, I believe I’ve seen true and undeniable love. All of my uncles are deeply in love with their wives, masha’Allah.

    But one of my uncles in particular stood out to me. He is quiet and has a simple life; he lives in a modest home and has six children- four of whom are under the age of seven. They have goats and chickens in their courtyard, and there is constant hubbub. It took me time to realise his commitment to his wife because he is quiet and modest in that too. Slowly I realised that he never ever eats a meal without his wife. He will wait and wait and allow his food to become cold as she runs around and fusses over their children. His eldest daughter, Safiya, will often ask him to eat anyway but he refuses until his wife can eat with him because a meal is not enjoyable without her. He smiles and says ‘I’ve not eaten a roti without her for sixteen years and I don’t intend to start today’. Safiya rolls her eyes and brings her mum over then takes over whatever task her mum was doing.. but it’s evident that she has no problem doing this. The relationship her parents have is something she is very proud of and I know this because of how often she fondly spoke of it.

    One night, she made me some chai over a small fire and we chatted until the early morning. She told me about her parents and how much her father values her mother. She was glowing with admiration and pride, and I couldn’t help but feel the same. Every morning before taking the children to school, he tells her mother she is as beautiful as a sparrow and every day she blushes and ushers him away- ‘jao!’ She says as she giggles. Their life is not easy though and Safiya explained to me that her mother can become silent and slow for days, unable to muster much joy. People talk about her in the village she says, but her father focuses only on his wife. In those times, he will ask his eldest children to look after the younger ones while he spends time alone with her. The two of them leave on his motorcycle, her arms wrapped tightly around him and her head resting gently on his shoulder. And then they come back and she slowly recovers.

    Safiya told me many things; that she’d never ever heard her father raise his voice to her mother. That every Eid her father takes her shopping to pick a gift for her mother. That he agonises over it like it’s the first gift he’s ever gotten her. That her mother will call her husband at work every day at his lunch time, just to ensure he’d eaten. The list went on. She had a look of still contentment on her face the whole time she spoke of them. My heart surged and in my head I begged Allah to preserve and protect their love.

    You know, I once read that the best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. But it was so significant to see the impact first hand. My cousins will know what kind of love they deserve after seeing it in their parents. It does not have to be loud and showy. It doesn’t need to be littered with big gestures.. it can be as tender and as simple as wanting to eat every possible meal together.














    1. hates donald trump
    2. got his ear pierced at claires because why not
    3. legit asks people to beat him up in action scenes EVEN NOW AS AN OLD MAN
    4. is arguably one of the most iconic star wars characters yet couldnt give less of a crap abt star wars
    5. the universe tried to kill him (or at least permanently incapacitate him) twice in 2015 and it only mildly inconvenienced him
    6. flies helicopters in search and rescue missions
    7. was in his 40s for the majority of the indiana jones series which is insane when you think about all the stunts involved
    8. quote “the director yells cut and harrison cracks open a beer and then builds a fucking shed”
    9. arguably sexy
    10. points angrily and its super effective

    11. is just a really sweet person
    12. no really my dad worked with him on firewall as the tech advisor and he was just a really swell guy
    13. got my mom’s birth date from my dad and sent her flowers
    14. he sent my mom flowers for her birthday
    15. he didn’t even know her he just wanted to be sweet

    this was a beautiful and necessary edition to this post thank you oh my god


    Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

    When he was asked to be in Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” video, in which he pulled up alongside them in a car and gave Jimmy a little wink and an air-kiss, when he showed up at the set he looked kind of put out. Kimmel was afraid he wasn’t down with what they were asking. But he just said, “I don’t know, this wardrobe…don’t you have anything mesh that I could wear?”

    When he was filming “Witness” he rented a small farm from a friend of mine. At the end of the filming my friend went and checked out the property as usual. He noticed the barn door had been leveled so it no longer would swing open on it’s own. Went into the house and saw the closets had been redone, in the kitchen the cabinets had been replaced and all the drawers now opened really well. Turns out that there were thousands of dollars of work and materials put into fixing up everything at the place.

    My friend called Ford and asked him how much he was asking for the work. Ford told him doing that kind of thing helped him relax and stay sane when he was filming. Would not take a dime. Plus he paid for a new water heater and got the sewage system cleaned out.

    And he paid rent to live there the entire time.

    Local Carpenter Stumbles Into Stardom, Worries This May Interfere With His Carpentry

    My step sister was driving through Wyoming once, near Ford’s ranch. She stops for gas, and as she’s filling up, this huge motorcycle roars in behind her, scared the pants off her. The rider, dressed in all black steps off, and she yells at him “who do you think you are blasting in here like that, you Darth Vader looking motherfucker?”. He takes off the helmet, and it’s Harrison Ford, and without missing a beat he says

    “Hey! I’m not Darth Vader, I’m Luke Skywalker”

    From the co-production designer on The Force Awakens, Darren Gilford:

    “The Millennium Falcon was the first thing we were actually building. I had been in London and I came home back to L.A. for Christmas. So I go to Sports Chalet to do some last-minute shopping; I get there early, run to the back of the store, get what I need. I’m coming back through the store, and I just happen to pass this person holding up a pair of ski pants, and it’s Harrison Ford. I look at him, he looks at me and puts his head right down. I can tell he doesn’t want to be bothered; I’m sure from the look on my face he knew I knew who he was. 

    So I walk past him, and after about 10 feet I think, ‘If there’s ever a time to say hello to Harrison Ford, I’m building the Millennium Falcon!’ So I turn around very hesitantly and go, ‘Harrison, I’m sorry to bother you. I’m co-production designer on the new Star Wars, I’m just back from London, and I’ve been building the Falcon.’ A big smile came across his face, he put his hand out, and we had such a great conversation — he couldn’t have been sweeter. 

    As I’m walking away, he goes, ‘Darren!’ and calls me back. He goes, ‘The toggle switches.’ I go, ‘Toggle switches.’ He goes, ‘The toggle switches on the Falcon. When they built it the first time, they bought cheap toggle switches without any springs in them. Every time I threw a toggle switch, it fell back; it wouldn’t hold. It drove me crazy. Please, make sure the toggle switches are fixed this time.’ I go, ‘No problem! I’ll take care of it!’ 

    So months go by, I’m back in London, we’re getting close [to principal photography], and I get a phone call saying J.J.’s headed down to check out the cockpit, and Harrison’s with him. I run down there and I see J.J. in the passenger seat and Harrison in the pilot seat. They’re just giddy; they’re having so much fun. And then I see Harrison look up, and he just starts throwing all the toggle switches: boom, boom, boom, boom. [Laughs.] And I remember thinking, ‘Phew, minor victory. Take solace in that and move on. Next task.’ That’s my favorite story.”


    Don’t forget about his Halloween costumes

    Harrison ford is a chaotic-good-aligned cryptid, confirmed



    anyway animal rights activism will be inherently disingenuous and indeed actively harmful unless y’all recognize that 1) not every country has industrialized the consumption of meat to the extent that the west has 2) you absolutely need to prioritize human beings over animals given that basic humanity isn’t even afforded to a large fucking portion of the human population 3) your experiences are not universal and humans have been living off the land sustainably for literal millenia 4) capitalism is your enemy not poor people & people of color 5) stop fucking making slavery/holocaust anaologies. those are actual human beings. thanks





    still fuckin hate that “bee-free honey” that’s made from……… apples. bitch who you think sexed up those apples

    A farmer, by hand and with love and care

    wild bees still sexin em up when he’s not looking

    old mccuckhold had a farm it seems





    why limit yourself between choosing between a pretty feminine aesthetic or a dark one? if persephone can be the goddess of spring & queen of the underworld at the same time so can you

    This is both against the gender roles that God put forth and in favor of the worship of pagan God’s. This is blatant satanic blasphemy

    frollo has logged tf on

    Reblog if you too are against the gender roles that God put forth and in favor of the worship of pagan Gods.