I don't know what all this really is, but its fun, so I'll stick around!

Last update
2020-07-07 07:47:20

    I do manual labor for a living (usually either agriculture or landscaping) and am a size 24. If clothing manufacturers are to be believed, I do not exist.

    My coworkers are out here in moisture-wicking breathable work pants with cargo pockets and reinforced seams and I am slogging away in Torrid jeans.

    They’re perpetually damp if not fully wet and somehow manage to be both too tight and too loose. I literally do not have a full range of movement AND they fall down every ten seconds. I can’t stress enough how important it is to be flexible at a job where I’m always crouching, bending, climbing, kneeling, hopping, running, or crawling.

    Yes, I have a belt, but it sucks because plus size belts are a fucking joke.

    So far I have found no outdoor work pants or shorts that come in a 24 or 26. None. Dickies used to make a great work pant that barely fit me in a size 24, but they discontinued it because of course they did.

    This is something that affects me every single day, and every single day my resolve to send Carhartt straight to hell grows stronger.

    The only reason that I do not have appropriate outdoor work attire is that people think that fat women couldn’t possibly need it.

    Fat people work.

    I know this is a controversial statement to thin people who need to see us as lazy so they can pretend their privilege is earned.

    Fat people work.

    I am constantly pushing myself harder than everyone else just so I don’t seem like a lazy fat woman. I take fewer breaks, I monitor how much I’m seen sitting or leaning, I run when others are walking, and I volunteer to carry that last bale of hay. And I have to do it in wet jeans because the world thinks I’m lazy.

    That last paragraph hits the most.

    what really gets me about the argument that “americans are so selfish they can’t even care about others enough to stop the virus” is that we fucking did. the vast majority of americans, at great personal and financial cost to ourselves, went inside and distanced and took precautions and isolated and changed our lives to slow the spread and keep our loved ones and strangers safe. we did that for months, even when the government offered piss poor assistance and unemployment skyrocketed and food bank lines lengthened and the death counts climbed and parents with young children reached a breaking point, we still did it. the polling still shows that the vast majority of americans are more worried about easing restrictions too soon even if it hurts the economy. americans give a shit. we care. we made the sacrifices to give our government the time to figure out and implement a plan — to find a way to keep us safe and as healthy as possible and to use the power of the federal government to protect small businesses and feed our children and put a roof over our heads and create education campaigns to get people to socially distance and wear a mask for fucks sake. we did that, and at the end of months of sacrifice they decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble and have left us at the whims of our governors and local officials, left us at the mercy of our employers, left us to die.

    americans aren’t selfish — our minority-rule government is — and it’s left us to die.

    what an amazing lady!

    Trans people have always existed 🌈

    I asked my kids if they’d prefer a secret garden or a secret library and my son shook his head and was like “I don’t trust the secret gardeners and librarians”

    Me: what if there aren’t any gardeners or librarians.

    Son: there’s always a librarian. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they aren’t there. And it’s a garden, there has to be someone taking care of it or it isn’t really a garden.


    Me: this was supposed to be lighthearted

    Daughter: don’t trust the secret librarian.

    Son: any librarian who hoards a library to themselves is hiding something.

    Daughter: /nods seriously/

    Me: why are you two talking as if from experience should I be concerned

    The kids are right Jazz

    But what if I want to be the secret librarian?

    <>Me: what if you were the secret librarian?

    <>Son: wouldn’t be a secret library. I have nothing to hide.

    <>Daughter: so not a secret librarian. A <>good librarian.

    <>Me: you two are on a wavelength I can’t understand

    What a way to find out your kids went on a whole-ass portal fantasy adventure at some point.

    types of writing sessions

  • got on computer, looked at document, was like “fuck this shit” and got off
  • wrote like 150 words that consist of bloating the existing useless conversation or scene even more
  • wrote SO MANY WORDS but it was because you were so desperate to escape the Bad Part
  • wrote SO MANY WORDS but it was because you were so desperate to get closer to the Good Part
  • got on your document, ran into research issue, spent like an hour on Wikipedia, ah shit
  • the somewhat satisfying “fixing everything I hated about the scene I wrote the day before” session
  • decent amount of progress that took like 3x longer than it should have because you were repeatedly distracted
  • In The Zone and completely absorbed, just BLAZING through a few thousand words, probably close to the ending, probably listening to playlist
  • Not actually a writing session, just listening to playlist
  • the session where you write like a paragraph, suddenly realize the unfixability of your current plot predicament, and cry
  • that weird session where you don’t have much time and you’re super tired and you write like a page but you reread it the next morning and holy shit these words came from the fingers of god why is it so good
  • that session that is purely just navigating the boring shit of getting from one scene to the next and it sucks but you leave off on the cusp of something interesting and it feels good
  • the satisfyingly exhausting session where you write the Good Part and you’re confident it came out pretty well and you’re full of thoughts and stuff about where things are going next but you need to let them rest
  • get on computer, write exactly one sentence, get off computer. Now you can say you wrote today
  • For me there’s also:

  • open document, spend an hour reading what you already wrote, exchange exactly one word for a synonym, close document
  • And even better:

  • open document, add one comma, close document
  • All in a day’s work.