The Birthday Meal: And Many More

    Words: @engeorged

    Artwork: @badoobers

    Dean sat at his table alone. The cool evening air was refreshing after a warm and uncomfortable day in his office. He’d walked past this place twice a day for the last three years and had longed to go inside but he’d could never think of a reason to. Not until today. Although, it wasn’t quite a happy occasion, it was his birthday. Today was the day he turned 30. He had been a bit anxious about turning 30, but that was more down to the fact that he didn’t have a boyfriend and he didn’t own his own place yet. But he was a millennial living in the city, who could afford either of those things anyway? His sadness was more because no one wanted to do anything for his birthday. He’d been dropping hints to his friends for weeks and none of them picked them up. His brother Sam, who normally remembers everything, hadn’t even sent him an offensive gif yet. And all his work colleagues turned down after-work drinks. They never turn down after-work drinks! They’re all basically high functioning alcoholics

    He was feeling old and alone and so this time when he walked past the expensive restaurant with the rooftop terrace overlooking the city, he decided to go in. Fuck the expense! You only turn 30 once! He had no hope of getting a table but lucky for him, the snotty maitre-de left the computer unattended for a few moments so he was able to look at the list and blag his way in.

    Normally, he would order a salad of some kind and a glass of water, he’d put on a few pounds in his late twenties and being thirty terrified him so he was desperate to loose the pot belly he’d started to grow. Being tall, he carried it well and you’d probably only notice if you saw him at the gym in the changing room, but he knew it was there. But fuck that shit! Tonight was his birthday, he could eat whatever he wanted! He ordered a whole Camembert and a basket of bread as a starter. It was covered with honey and almonds and was exactly what he wanted to cheer himself up. For the main he’d ordered a 16 oz steak with a side of fries, onion rings and corn on the cob, which he’d eaten with extreme pleasure, helped down with a fruity red wine he’d heard someone else order. To finish, he allowed himself a lavish chocolate and fudge invention that two waiters had to bring over for the theatrics to work. He watched as hot caramel was poured over a smooth chocolate dome which melted to reveal his opulent dessert lathered in cream.

    Sitting back he enjoyed the view and the full feeling in his stomach. He’d taken a few instagram photos which he’d scheduled to be posted in the morning so his friends would feel guiltiest when they realised they’d forgotten.

    Making his way home he began to think about his life. He’d been a big deal in college, the first openly gay captain of the schools team. There was a lot of interest in him back then. He was a good looking guy, dark hair with piercing blue eyes and a jawline you could fold paper on. A lot of male attention, some public and some private. Quite a few girls tried to turn him straight as well, but with no luck. But it had all gone downhill from there. He ended up in an office job in the city after graduating with hopes of doing much grander things but that had been where he had stuck. Maybe now he was thirty he should hand in his notice and go take a night class or something? Retrain as a chef? He fancied himself as a bit of a foodie. Maybe now was the time to do it?

    Arriving home, he fumbled with his keys in the lock, the bottle of red having gone to his head a little more that he had anticipated. The lights were off, which was strange? He had programmed his Alexa to turn them on as he got close by? He patted his hand along the wall, trying to find the switch. He makes contact with it and pushes. The room lights up to reveal his brother, flanked by 30 of his closest friends and colleagues!

    ‘Surprise!’ Balloons and streamers fly everywhere as they all spontaneously burst into a very out of tune birthday song.

    His brother grabbed him and pulled him in for a tight hug.

    ‘Didn’t think we forgot did you dick face?’ He wraps his arm around his beach and messes up his hair affectionately

    Dean pulled his self out from his brothers arm and smooths his hair back. ‘No of course not!’ He lies. ‘I knew you’d do something like this!’

    ‘Well that’s not the only surprise!’ His brother explains! ‘We know you think you’re a bit of a foodie,’

    ‘Foodie wanker!’ An old team mate yells in the background, to much laughter from several other team mates.

    ’Well, most of us have brought along a meal which is special to you. Like something we’ve eaten together in the past or something you cooked for us that we liked!’ Sam beamed with excitement, clearly proud of his idea.

    ‘Ah bro. That’s so lovely.’ Dean was touched at the gesture, but the three course meal suddenly felt very present on his stomach. How much food is there? He wonder.s

    ‘Hope you’re hungry!’ He brother takes him to the kitchen where there are dozens of carefully and lovingly prepared plates of food all piled up on the counter. Dean’s heart dropped.

    One of his work colleagues, Marvin, was the first to approach him. ‘Hey man, Happy Birthday! I can’t stay long cos I’ve got to go relieve the babysitter but here’s my meal. It’s the jerk chicken my wife made when you came round that time to fix our computer! We were so grateful!’ Marv takes a napkin and picks up a big piece of the chicken and hands it to Dean and waits expectantly. Dean remembers the chicken, it was the best chicken he’d tasted and Marv’s wife had sent him home with a Tupperware full of the stuff. He raised the chicken to his lips and took a bite. It was as good as he remembered and spicier! The juices flowed into his mouth as he ate. ‘Mmm, so good’ he gestured to Marv who was waiting for his reaction. He clearly expected him to eat the whole thing so he obliged. Soon the chicken had joined the steak in his stomach, leaving a firey taste in his mouth and his lips burning. Marv clearly pleased shook his hand and left for home. The pleasant feeling of fullness was beginning to take hold. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. Just a mouthful of all these dishes would be ok? He thought hopefully. As long as he could pace himself.

    He didn’t have to wait long before a steady queue of people had arrived to wish him happy birthday and explain their food. He soon realised he couldn’t get away with just one mouthful of food. People had spent time and effort over these meals and they were all expectant to see him eat. A thick European stew with dumplings, some belly pork and a home made scotch egg, all decent portions, now added to the volume of food in his belly. A big slice of a home made meat loaf finally pushed him past some barrier, making him feel overfull and bloated. The fullness was no longer a warm gentle experience but was becoming a bit more pressing and much less comfortable. He made an excuse and headed to the bathroom. Locking the door behind him he pulled up his shirt and took a look at his belly. It was very distended and swollen. Pushed out with food and restricted by his belt, which he undid. Angry red welts appeared underneath which he tried to rub away. Looking at himself in the mirror he tried to give himself a pep talk. ‘You can do this, these people love you and have made these meals for you. You used to eat big like this when you were younger all the time. Like a bottomless pit Sam used to say. It’s one night, how bad can it be! Pull yourself together and get back out there!’

    He threw some water on his face and went to button back up his pants which wasn’t happening. He looked in the laundry Basket and found some joggers which he pulled on. Not having the pressure round his waist helped and giving his belly a rub had eased things slightly. He moved back into the party and headed for a sofa where he installed himself. He didn’t have to wait long till Bex, his college bestie brought over her offering. ‘These are actual fish tacos from that food truck we visited every time we went out for a night out!’ She explained! Forgetting how full he was for a second he got super excited. They truly were the best fish tacos he’d ever had! ‘How the hell did you get these?’ He asked. Bex smiled smugly ‘I know a guy!’ She said in place of an explanation. She handed him two loaded tacos and sat down, waiting for him to eat them. Dean obliged and took a bite. They were as good as he remembered and didn’t take long to eat. He’d already ignored his ‘just a few bites’ policy but these were definitely worth it. He shifted his weight in the chair as he finished and Sam handed him a beer which he gratefully took. He drank it whilst him and Bex caught up for ten minutes which gave him a little respite.

    The next hour, Dean faced a steady stream of nostalgic calorie laden meals. Pacing himself, he managed some chicken panang, a creamy chicken pasta dish, A thick beef dansak, a pile of bbq pulled pork, some sliders and a large slice of chicken and mushroom pie. Everyone had made their dish with love and was keen to see Dean enjoy it. No one offered him a one bite portion, they all dished up a fairly decent taster for him, some were more generous than others. He fell into a sort of eating trance, just nodding and smiling and chewing and swallowing. Mouthful after mouthful sliding into his expanding stomach. Sitting down seemed to help, he was able to prop himself slightly reclined which didn’t add any pressure to the swell, but he was definitely blowing up. He could feel his shirt beginning to become tight around his middle and the relief offered by the joggers was a thing of the past. His ballooning belly was now pushing against the elastic.

    A temporary respite came and he took advantage and stood took up for a toilet break. On the way to the bathroom a few large empanadas were literally pushed into his mouth which he obligingly took, swallowing down heavily. Reaching the bathroom he locked the door and leant against it. He pulled his pants down under his growing bulge and peeled his shirt back, noticing he’d popped a button at some point without realising. He belly was rounded out and tight to the touch. Looking in the mirror he saw the damage. His belly was huge, the biggest he’d seen it. He was feeling guilty about being so mean to everyone in his head when he thought they’d forgotten his birthday. And he was very much regretting the three course meal he’d enjoyed a few hours earlier. Without that, he would have still struggled but it would have been a lot easier! He’d have ended the night as he was now rather than what’s to come. He knew there was food he’d not tried yet and there was no way he could turn any of it down. A moment of panic hit hmt as he remembered the photos he’d scheduled to be posted at midnight to make his friends feel guilty. If they went live they’d know he’d already eaten and he would be the one ending up feeling guilty. He needed to find his photo and stop them. Pulling his shirt down was hard so he grabbed a polo shirt from the basket and sprayed some deodorant on. The shirt used to be loose which it definitely wasn’t right now but at least it wasn’t painted on like his work shirt. The joggers had to stay where they were, under the curve of his belly but they were covered by the shirt so that should be ok. He flushed the toilet and washed his hands, grabbing some painkillers for the ache that was beginning to grow in his belly.

    Leaving the bathroom he began to look for his phone. He found a beer and swallowed that down, hoping it would numb the pain a little. The belches helped which was good. His apartment was full of people and he was struggling to find it. As he was looking he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned and saw Yolanda from his work beaming holding her offering. A big steaming plate of bunny chow in the traditional bread bowl. She’d made it for him when he started and it was delicious. She handed it to him and gave him a spoon. It was a whole portion. She clearly expected him to eat the whole thing. He reluctantly started spooning the curry into his mouth, it was the perfect temperature and consistency and went down easily into his distended stomach, adding to the swell. She beamed as he ate and so not wanting to disappoint her he shovelled it down. When he’d finished the curry she nodded at the bread bowl . ‘I made that too!’ Proudly. ‘I’m sure you did’ signed Dean as he tackled it. The curry was easy to eat but the bread was now dense and saturated with the sauce. As delicious as it was, it was heavy going and pushing it into his stomach felt difficult. He eventually managed the whole thing, but it left him feeling super overloaded. ‘Thanks so much’ he said, giving her back the plate. She left looking happy and he continued the search for his phone. He found it by the door and belching softly he found and deleted the pics. Phew. That was close.

    Moving back into the apartment and trying to stay discreet is difficult when it’s your party and you’re carrying a large food baby round. The bunny chow had pushed him into uncomfortably full and he was concerned about eating much more food. He just wanted to lie down and rub his belly till he fell asleep but that probably wasn’t an option. Sam sees him and heads over. ‘You enjoying the party bro?’ He sees Deans bloated stomach and pokes him in the belly button. ‘Ooof’ Dean wheezes, belching hard in response. ‘Yeah it’s great thanks. I’m so full.’ Sam grabs his belly and gives it a shake, although it doesn’t move that much. Turning to the room Sam announces. ‘Anyone who’s not given their food to Sam better hurry up before he pops!’ Laughing a few people head to the kitchen to grab their meals. ‘Thanks Sam’ Dean says sarcastically and heads back to the armchair to accept his fate. He sits down and makes himself comfortable and just allows whatever comes next to happen to him. The next barrage of culinary memories begins to make its way to him: A bowl of gumbo, a sausage casserole, a pile of samosas, some Chinese dumplings: all become stuffed down into his now substantial gut. Joining the vast quantities of already consumed food. Now it’s the end of the evening, the desserts start coming too, a heavy sticky toffee pudding, an Apple strudel and some delicious cream cakes all end up in his belly. He’s no longer enjoying or tasting the food, he just feels like an eating machine. He knew Sam was joking when he said people needed to get in before he popped but he was now worried that that was a possibility. He stretched stomach was huge and the skin was sensitive and tight.

    He looked up and there was no one waiting, he hoped it was over. He looked pregnant, there was no other way of putting it. He gingerly touched the bloated flesh of his abdomen, it was hot and turgid, so full of food. He felt like he’d swallowed a bag of cement which was slowly beginning to set.

    Suddenly the lights dimmed and out of the darkness appeared a glow of light. Sam ventured out with a huge chocolate birthday cake covered in candles. The room began to sing to him and he tried to sit up, pinned under the mass of food lodged inside of him. Sam moved the cake down for him to blow the candles. Dean leant to the left to blow and instead dislodged a belch that burst out of him and blew them out anyway! The room went quiet except for a few muffled laughs from the back. Sam covered it up

    ‘Thank you all for coming to celebrate my little brother turning 30! As you can see he’s very much enjoyed all your food!’ Pause for laughter as the eyes of everyone turned their attention to Deans massive engorged belly. ‘Anyway, let’s hope he has room for cake!’

    To Deans horror, Sam cut a huge slice of the decadent cake and hefted it onto a plate which he popped on top of his swollen belly shelf. The room went quiet, all eyes on him as he lifted a bite to his lips. Forcing it into his mouth, the chocolate goodness packed a punch. Rich and creamy. He chewed just a bit and managed to swallow it down but the room was still watching. He relented and began to shovel the heavy cake into his throat, literally feeling every mouthful push his belly out that little bit further. His stomach was so big now the polo was stretched over its surface. A small sliver of his furry belly peeking out from underneath it. But he was past caring about how he looked, he just wanted to be done. The last mouthful was a struggle but somehow he managed it to a big round of applause.

    He was done. Finally. Totally zoned out he stayed int he chair for the rest of the evening, all his energy focussed on digesting his food. Sam kept him supplied with beers which did numb the pain of the bloat but probably added to it as well. He wouldn’t have been able to see it but his belly rounded out as the food was redirected round his body. His belly changed from being top heavy to watermelon round in a few hours. As people began to leave, he was able to smile and thank them for coming. In the end there was just him and Sam who had finished tidying up.

    ‘There’s tons of leftovers if you get hungry in the night!’

    Dean jokingly gagged. ‘Don’t talk to me about food!’ He said

    ‘Holy fucking shits! You really ate a lot this evening man. Your belly is huge, look at it!’ Sam pointed out helpfully.

    ‘No shit Sherlock!’ Sam retorted. ‘It’s as if someone arranged all my friends to load me up with food for an evening!’ He pulled his polo up, revealing his guy in all its bloated hairy glory ‘look at what you did!’

    Sam laughed and leant over to give it a rub. ‘Don’t worry little bro. You’re thirty now! You’d better get used to the spread!’

    kindahornydude

    *gulp gulp gulp gulp*

    “These ropes won’t hold much more of you back, tubby…”

    The soldier let out a muffled moan and belch as more and more sweet liquid filled his ever-growing gut. He felt stupid for allowing himself to get captured in such an embarrassing way. What would his buddies say about his weight? This stuff was fattening as fuck! The ropes tightened around his juicy pecs and rounded stomach. More, more, more. A never-ending flow continued into the bloated young man. His pants creaked as they struggled to hold him in much longer. The enemy soldiers poked at him and squeezed the fattening soldier. They were fascinated and even aroused at watching another man blow up to such a fattened state.

    “Keep drinking, big boy. Let’s see how big a guy like you can get. Then we’ll let you go…so you bring us more.”

    With that, the growing soldier’s pants bust open…