Living in a Dream
Last update
2022-10-04 23:57:43

    since that gifset of nick yesterday and your comment, i have been thinking about him and his guilty conscience, or lack of. and to me his eyes looked particularly watery on that quick scene where you see him call out tommy's name. could be the light, could be he actual felt a tiny bit of remorse, and it doesnt actually change the fact that he still named poor tommy. but, i always did prefer my villains to be more human and not the mustache twirling kind. but, yeah, really did wish we saw how he went from that to him in 1994.

    yeah, I get what you mean about liking your villains to be more humanized than full on evil like Voldemort or something. And that’s part of the reason why I find Nick so intriguing and baffling (and why I’ve written so much about him and Ziggy). I didn’t know what to make of Nick in 1994 part one, but after I watched ‘78 I was genuinely convinced he was a good guy and that him and Ziggy would get their happily ever after/reconciliation moment, and then bam he was evil the whole time. 

    And it just got more fascinating to me the more I rewatched ‘78, because Nick does genuinely seem to be trying to help (I mean that doesn’t mean much considering he’s the reason they’re all in danger in the first place). Like we see him rounding up all the Shadysiders and Sunnyvalers and doing it with a sense of urgency. We see him throw up when he sees all those bodies. What’s even more odd is that he seems genuinely disturbed by it - I think for Nick part of him didn’t think the pact was real or was hoping that it wasn’t (possibly?). At the very least he wasn’t entirely convinced it was the right thing to do, but he did it anyway. 

    My head canon is that throughout the massacre Nick was trying to convince himself that he could somehow get himself out of this or redeem himself by saving Ziggy and then being with her afterwards like the whole Judy Blume bookclub thing. But then he sees Ziggy and Cindy dead and he brings her back and she’s talking about Sarah Fier, and he realizes he’s too far gone already. 

    For me the moment he makes this realization is when Kapinski asks him what happened and he hesitates for like a second and then says Tommy Slater. From then on, it was just full on corruption because there’s no chance he can redeem himself. However much Nick deludes himself about the sacrifice being noble or necessary or whatever bullshit he comes up with, I think deep down he knows it’s just evil. Him in 1994 is just reacting to that finally being pointed out to him. 

    Like Nicky, you didn’t have to say a name. You could have told your dad and satan to fuck off like a normal person. You could have gotten to date Gillian Jacobs and Sadie Sink. All of this mess is because he’s too much of a coward to live his life authentically and break the status quo. 

    Anyway, apologies for the rant, I just have a lot of different feelings about this–


    indistinctmumblings: no need to apologize, i feel almost exactly the same way! rewatching the movies does bring a lot of things into perspective tho. i remember reacting very strongly at how he doesn’t even hesitate to shield ziggy with his body, still do, but then again they’re in that situation bc of him lol idk, i like that he’s a mess, that he ruined his own life and happiness and has no one else to blame but himself. i find it all very compelling lol

    fkevin073: yeah right? It’s that conundrum of like yeah he threw himself in front of Tommy’s axe without a second thought, but the reason poor Tommy is possessed is because of him. And I strangely like that Nick has to live with that reminder every day for the rest of the life with his limp. Like Nightwing leaving a physical effect on his body. And I find it compelling too! Like even Nick slipping that note to Ziggy in ‘94

    fkevin073: The other gif set revealed that he originally wrote “you were right” in addition to its happening again. Like why would he write that? And why would he hesitate to knock? It doesn’t make any sense. Well, not to anyone except Nick, anyway

    indistinctmumblings: i’m a big fan of the limp and all its implications. i love that whole bit with him standing outside her door even if it’s so frustrating, and also the scene in the cruiser when he finds out ziggy is seeking him out and he literally stops the car, bc there’s SO MUCH going on his face on both scenes (ashley really did so much with like 10 mins of screen time lol) and it does make you want to figure out what was going on in that head of his bc it’s a such a contradiction.

    fkevin073: yeah I think he did a great job as Solomon too. For me perhaps the most disturbing scene in the entire series is when Solomon and Sarah are fighting and he’s like I love you don’t make me hurt you and it’s just so disturbing to me. I wish we’d gotten to see more of Nick as an adult tho Ted did a great job in ‘78 laying the foundation for his character. Ashley and Gillian had so much chemistry in just that one scene

    But you didn’t have to cut me off
    Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
    And I don’t even need your love
    But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
    No you didn’t have to stoop so low
    Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
    I guess that I don’t need that though
    Now you’re just somebody that I use
    d to know 

    - Somebody I Used To Know by Gotye 

    Ziggy & Nick

    No one compares to you
    I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the other side
    Every time I close my eyes, it’s like a dark paradise
    No one compares to you
    I’m scared that you won’t be waiting on the o
    ther side*

    - Lana Del Rey, “Dark Paradise”

    *or in Ziggy’s case, she’s scared he will be waiting on the other side.


    Do you think Ziggy wanted Nick to try to get back with her by 1994?

    Yeah, I think, in a vague way. Like she’s not actively hoping for/banking on it, but enough time and radiating devil magic energy have softened the feelings of anger and betrayal, and she’s gained perspective that Nick was a scared kid (reader, *we* know he’s not but she doesn’t hence her telling the Johnsons like yeah I get it now, he was Prince of Sunnyvale and it was a lot of pressure and I know why he crumbled I just wish he hadn’t :/) So yeah she’s def open to reconciliation and we know they both never got over each other and I think with the note she was like: yeah okay I want to see him again, those feelings have gone nowhere. She does still implicitly trust him which is why she calls him and I think in the back of her mind she kept the possibility opened and liked having it. So the conclusion really brutally crushed that.