@bootyh0lic
eternally confused

still very Gay and very Tired

Posts
80313
Last update
2020-07-13 17:52:21

    Sometimes people like to write things about florist’s shops.  Here are two things you need to know, the most egregiously wrong things.

    1. It makes no fucking sense to sketch out a bouquet before you make it.  Every individual flower is different in a way that cannot really be adjusted the way other building materials can be adjusted, and each individual bouquet is unique.  Just put the fucking flowers together.

    2. No one — in months and months of working at the flower shop — has ever cared what the flower/color of the flower means.  No one’s ever asked.  It’s just not something people tend to care about outside of fiction and it’s certainly not something most florists know.  You know what florists know?  What looks good and is thematically appropriate.

    Here’s an actual list of the symbology of flowers, as professionals use it:

    <>Yellow – for friends, hospital<>s
    Pink – girls, girlfriends, babies, bridesma<>ids
    Red –<> love
    Purple –<> queens
    White – marriage and death (DO NOT SEND TO H<>OSPITALS)
    Pink and purple<> – ur mum
    Red, orange, and yellow – ur mum if <>she’s stylish
    Red, yellow, blue – dudes a<>nd small children
    Blue and white – rare,<> probably a wedding
    Red and white – love for fancy bitches

    Here are what the flowers actually mean to a florist:

    The Fill It Out flowers:

    <>Carnations – fuck u these are meaningless filler-flowers, not even your administrative assistant likes them, show some creativit<>y
    Alstroemeria – by and large very similar to carnations but I like them bet<>ter
    Tea roses – cute and lil and come several to a stalk, a classy filler f<>lower
    Moluccella laevis – filler flower but<> CHOICE
    Delphinium – not as interesting as moluccella but purple so oka<>y I guess
    Blue thistle – FUCK YEAH, some fucking textural variety at last!  you’re getting this for a dud<>e, aren’t you?
    Chrysanthemums – barely better than carnations but bett<>er is still better
    Gladiolus – ooh, risky business, someone understands the use of the Y-axis, very good

    Focal points:

    <>Long-stem roses – yeah whateve<>r
    Lilies – LBD, looks good with everything, get used as often as possi<>ble
    Hydrangeas – thirsty fuckers, divas of the flower world and rightly so, treat them right and they make you look<> good
    Gerbera daisies – the rose’s hippie cousin, hotter but no one <>admits it
    Peonies – CHA-CHING, everybody’s absolute favorite but <>you need guap
    Orchids – if this isn’t for a wedding you’re probably trying too hard but they’re expensive so keep ordering them

    You know what matters?  THE CUSTOMER’S BUDGET.  THAT’S TELLING.

    <>-$20 – if you’re not under 12, fuck off, get your sugar something e<>lse
    $30 – good for bouquets but an arrangement will be<> lame
    $40 – getting there, there’s something that can be done with that.  you can get some gerbs or roses with that and not have them look stup<>idly solo.
    $50 to $70 <> tolerable
    $80 – FINALLY.  It sounds elitist but this really is the basic amount of money you should expect to spend on an arrangement that matters.  That’s your Mother’s Day arrangement.  You’re probably not going to <>spend $80 on a bouquet.
    $90 to $130 – THE GOOD SHIT, you’re<> likely to get some orchids
    $130+  – Weddings and death.  This amount of money gets you a memorial arrangement or a handmade bridal bouquet.  Don’t spend this on a Mother’s Day or a Babe I Love You arrangement, buy whosits a massage or something.

    Miscellaneous:

  • Everything needs greening and if you don’t think that you’re an idiot. 
  • As a new employee, when you start making arrangements, you can’t see the mistakes you’re making because you’re brand new and you’re learning an art form from the ground up.
  • With a few exceptions customers don’t have a clear plan in mind.  They want you to develop the bouquet for them.  They want something that will delight their little sweetbread but you’re lucky if they know that person’s favorite color, let alone flower.
  • Flower shops don’t typically have every kind of flower in every kind of color.  Customers generally aren’t assed about that.  Most people don’t care about the precise shade of the rose or having daffodils in July, because they’re not boning up on flower language before they buy.  That would imply that they’ve got a clear bouquet in mind and, again, they don’t.
  • Being a florist is essentially a lot like what I imagine being a mortician is about. <>You’re basically keeping dead things looking good for as long as possible.  You keep the product in the fridge so it doesn’t rot and look horrible by the time the family gets a whack at it, and in the meanwhile you put it in a nice container.
  • Anyway that’s flowers.

    this is magnificent and I love hearing about ppl job feilds

    do y’all… ever think about… uncle iroh going with zuko when he was banished? 

    so iroh is a powerful figure. dragon of the west, war hero, member of the royal family- he must’ve had a lot of influence in the fire nation, a lot of friends in high places. and then the firelord- his brother- hurts a child. hurts his own child, horrifically and publicly, for speaking out in a private council. 

    and iroh can do nothing to stop it. all his power, and he looks away and listens to his nephew scream. 

    but then ozai banishes zuko. and iroh stands up and does something. in a government like the fire nation, speaking out gets you killed. ozais word is law. but iroh can do one thing. he hasnt been banished. he has a life in the fire nation- he has friends, allies, work to do- but he abandons it. he gives it all up. because hurting a child was wrong, and he couldnt do anything to stop that, but he can do something. he can stand with this child. he can step in and show kindness. he can teach this angry, broken child that hate isnt right. 

    and that public act of dissent against the word of the firelord from his own flesh and blood, from a hero, from a Dragon- wouldntve gone unnoticed. 

    fucking uncle iroh man. what a dude.

    Love seeing women with bare faces, short fingernails, practical shoes, comfortable clothing, a full plate, a toothy grin, a relaxed posture. Love love love seeing women comfortable and happy and unselfconscious.

    why does every stupid bitch in the notes HAVE to comment “but theres nothing wrong with girls wearing heels or makeup or shaving” as if thats not what society pushes onto us every fucking day already like shut up already

    i talk a big game about enemies-to-lovers but i’ve only just now begun considering the possibilities of friends-to-enemies-to-lovers. they were friends. there was a BETRAYAL. now they’re enemies. but then… they fall in love… maximum potential for<> pining achieved

    oh…..

    if only they had seen the light earlier.. realized their feelings… just a little bit sooner… but now they’re on the opposite sides of a conf<>lict… how tragic

    friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-friends-to-lovers

    Oh hey I haven’t yelled about voting in a while

    Reposting this because some of y’all need a reminding.

    Another reminder:

    VOTE YOUR WHOLE BALLOT.

    A Democratic President does nothing if Congress is controlled by Republicans. Your local elections are important, too. (It took us 20 years, but you notice we don’t have issues with our sheriff out here in Phoenix now we’ve voted out Joe Arpaio.)

    Don’t skip any. Look up names on your phone while you’re in the ballot booth if you have to. VOTE YOUR WHOLE BALLOT.

    A PSA because a lot of people don’t know this: You CAN take your phone into the ballot booth, no one will stop you. You CAN google names from inside the ballot booth, no one will stop you. The only time you can get in trouble is, in some states, if you take a photo of your ballot. You CAN also take a long time voting. There are lots of booths usually, don’t worry about the line if you need to think about anything. Voting is not a high school exam. You’re allowed to bring your phone. Please do that in case there’s something on the ballot you don’t understand!

    You can also register to vote by mail! That means you can use google and take all the time you need to fill out your ballot! I don’t know how it works in other states but California specifically has made voting by mail extremely easy and hassle free and most people I know vote by mail.

    VOTE GUYS PLEASE GOD

    the signs as glee plot points that were never dealt with again after their introduction but continue to haunt me

    aries: dalton academy spontaneously burns to the ground

    taurus: mr schue’s wife provides all the glee kids with performance-enhancing drugs

    gemini: puck dates his teacher who is also his baby’s adoptive mother who is also idina menzel

    cancer: steampunk adam lambert new regular

    leo: sue marries herself 

    virgo: sue engages in psychological warfare against blaine through means such as cementing his hair to his head, taking out multiple home loans in his name to ruin his credit, and later, putting a live bear in his apartment

    libra:  kurt gets a tattoo that says “it’s get better” changed to say “it’s got bette midler”

    scorpio: mr schue forced all the glee kids to learn to twerk and sang blurred lines with them

    sagittarius: senior-sophomore blaine warbler

    capricorn: brittany’s dad is stephen hawking

    aquarius: mr schue blackmails finn into joining glee club by planting weed in his locker, then finally admits it three years later and finn’s like “ok that’s epic”

    pisces: gas leak puppet hallucination episode