@bronxterror
WHAT IS THIS?!
Posts
147261
Last update
2021-06-19 11:44:09
    moth-ee

    I wish this feeling upon everyone who wants to wear a dress, its really the best

    ghostlynblm

    this makes me so happy as a fat hairy guy who likes skirts and dresses i never get to see guys like me in dresses it’s always skinny twinks this makes me so happy 🥺🥺

    prismatic-bell

    If you are a larger gentleman, and wish to partake of the dress-wearing experience, please accept these tips to help fit your first dress!

    1) You want something with stretch in it. Dresses are (often) built for people with boobs, and until you get familiar with how they fit your specific body, trying something super-stiff will 100% end in tears. I promise you, I am 32 years old, I have been wearing dresses all my life, and I still get pissed at dressing room mirrors because who the fuck designs some of these. There are fitted, tailored dresses designed by sane people who expect that their clothes will be worn by human beings, and they will make you look fine as fuck, but make your life easy and don’t start with them.

    2) Dress sizes were designed by sixteen ferrets on crack and are not consistent between brands, styles, or vintage vs modern. Use them as a guideline, not a rule, and don’t let them upset you. Very often they’re adjusted in order to target a specific audience.

    3) Lauren by Ralph Lauren is an amazing plus-size brand. Both of my fitted dresses are Lauren dresses, and that isn’t because I’m a label snob, it’s because I try on a dress that I think looks good and I go “YEEEEEEEEEESSSSS” and then pull it off and look at the label and go “ … . why am I surprised?” When you’re ready to branch out into fitted dresses, I strongly recommend finding your local Macy’s or Nordstrom and checking out their Lauren section. Even if you don’t buy anything from that section, it will give you a much better idea of how fitted dresses should look (flattering!) and feel (comfortable!).

    4) Empire waists are your enemy. Those are the ones with the raised waistline that, on someone with boobs, sits right beneath said appendages. They will 1) ride up and 2) make you look pregnant, and without breasts to fill out the cups it’ll look like you don’t know how to fit your size. It does not matter who you are or how tall you are, if you’re above like a size four, empire waists are not going to be comfortable or give you the look you want. Just save yourself the time.

    5) Arm holes on a sleeveless dress do not fit like arm holes on a tank top. They’re cut differently. Before you buy, MAKE SURE you cross your arms over your front and give yourself the biggest hug you can. Then put your arms behind you as far as you can. If you feel the fabric snag or chafe, you will end up wasting your money because the dress will be stupidly uncomfortable. You might be able to fix this by getting the same dress one size up, but if you choose to try one size up, prepare yourself for disappointment first. It’s often a sign of poor design or craftsmanship.

    6) Part of trying on your dress should be SITTING DOWN. If this isn’t a dress you plan to wear with tights or leggings, you need to make sure it covers the backs of your thighs. (Either that, or you need to resign yourself to peeling yourself off chairs, and that fucking hurts.)

    7) If you wear a mix of different underwear types, make sure you wear boxers when you go to try on dresses. Nothing will suck more than throwing on your dress and realizing you can see your shorts very easily underneath.

    hours-of-minutes

    Reblogging for tip #2

    cipheramnesia

    eShakti is also good for custom sized dresses.

    donnasweett

    making tags easily viewable through the mobile app was a mistake “EVERYONE STOP TAGGING THIS WITH THEIR FANDOM SHIT!!!!!!” girl you are on the Fandom Shit website

    senshimeshi

    I saw someone complaining that there’s too much cringe shipping on tumblr and I was like. Sir this is literally THEE cringe website of choice move to Instagram or bear with it like the rest of us

    terrible-ass-always

    If you go to a circus, don’t piss or whine over the fact theres clowns good sir

    you must strive to follow the takamiya honoka school of wisdom

    step 1) Accept ludicrously powerful and evil goddess into yourself by selling your soul to her to save someone you just met

    step 2) really piss off the immensely powerful kitsune that was trying to do that herself

    step 3) subconsciously make the goddess look like this

    image
    image

    step 4) go on mind journeys with her

    image

    step 5) ?????????????????????

    step 6) enter a global war with multiple mage factions while said kitsune (who also takes the form of a seven foot tall woman) works herself up into a hate-lust frenzy over your existence because she’s fucking nuts and makes her doppelganger servant take your form on the regular for “”mysterious”” purposes while you adventure with her daughter

    image

    I wanna be one of those characters that’s so ridiculously useful that they could solve the problem the plot revolves around in a few seconds by themselves so the narrative has to either A) bend over backwards and jump through contorted hoops to keep them plausibly out of the scenario/depowered or B) unceremoniously kill them in a manner that is so out of left field it’s just comical a la Chaika getting Fred killed because she sucks at dark souls

    hasmashdoneanythingwrong

    Wait no Igraine was the mother of both Morgan and Artoria, which means Igraine is actually the origin of the Saberface.

    Fuck, Saberface Uther isn’t likely.

    unit-zero-two

    All British nobles just look like that. Gorlis and Uther? Both Saberfaces, no relation.

    Not sure what is funnier, Igraine being the OG Saberface, or we see this woman and she looks nothing like her children.