Why ‘female-presenting nipples’ matter

    When I was 10, my mom made me wear a bra and it felt like a punishment for being different.

    When I was 10, I took the bra off when changing for gymnastics and accidentally dropped it in the school hallway. A teacher picked it up and said, “Oh, this must belong to you” and handed it back to me in front of everyone. I quit gymnastics.

    When I was 11, I thought maybe the boobs would be okay so long as they didn’t get any bigger than would fit in my hand, so I kept measuring it, but they did.

    When I was 12, I started wearing two or three sports bras to smush them down, until one day a classmate said, “Are you wearing two bras?!” while laughing.

    When I was 13, a boy told me he wanted to squeeze my boobs “until they popped.”

    When I was 14, I got cast in a play as an older character and a classmate told me I got the role because I had boobs.

    When I was 17, my mom told me to return a swimsuit because it would be too distracting for my boyfriend’s father.

    When I was 21, I got properly fitted for a bra and everyone felt the need to tell me how much better my boobs looked.

    When I was 26, I got pregnant and my immediate fear was that my boobs would get bigger.

    When I was 28, I got shamed for trying to feed my screaming baby in public without a cover.

    When I was 28, people asked me “why are you bothering to use a breastfeeding cover?”

    When I was 30, people gave me weird looks that I wasn’t yelling at my kid for putting their hand on my boob.

    When I was 31, I avoided going to the beach or pool because I didn’t want to have to deal with boobs in a swimsuit.

    When I was 32, I got asked, again, “why don’t you get a breast reduction?”

    When I was 33, I watched a 5yo girl get shamed for running around in sweltering heat without a shirt on and had to reprimand a bunch of tween boys who thought it was okay to shame her for doing something they do all the time.

    When I was 34, my kid kept patting my breast and saying “Mommy’s squishy breast!!” They will never see me express any shame about tits, because I want them to have a different mindset than I had. Yes, boobs are nice! They’re squishy! They’re fun! That’s the end of that.

    I’m 35 and no longer give a fuck. I don’t care anymore. As a teenager my tits were covered in stretch marks. They’ve been engorged with milk. My nipple changed shape with pregnancy. Give it another couple decades and my breasts will probably be all wrinkly. It’s sexual when I’m using it sexually. I don’t fucking care, and I won’t be ashamed anymore. 

    Every time a policy or cultural hangup treats people with breasts differently, it fucks us over. 

    Tumblr’s new policy makes an active choice to participate in this culture of shame. By classifying “female-presenting nipples” as explicit material, Tumblr has taken a stance that any chest or breast that differs from a male default is worthy of shame and unavoidably sexual. The idea that breasts are shameful and unavoidably sexual is exactly what fucked me up for so much of my life.

    Stop shaming people for having bodies. 

    17 December - a rescue plan

    Some good news, I’ve been talking to two developers now, just had a meeting with the guys behind an existing large (millions of users) site similar to Tumblr, with a vibrant and open-minded community, and more importantly, it has open-minded owners who believe in free speech. They think we can get something done here to rescue the whole community.

    I’m not allowed to reveal the site name yet. One of the reasons is they don’t want a “land grab” where people take the names of current popular Tumblr users over there (cyber squatting). So they are looking at ways for existing Tumblr users to keep the same names on the new site.

    More info over the days to come.

    The plan is, broadly:

    1. By 9 December, announcement of the new site and how to secure your username there

    2. By 10 December, an online tool for bloggers to copy their existing content to the new site automatically, with the same tags and captions.

    3. Bloggers will need to copy their content across between 10 and 17 December if they want to use the automatic tool.

    4. My understanding is that after 17 December there will be no public access to any “flagged” posts on Tumblr, but the original poster will still be able to see the flagged post (for a short time at least). Therefore, the original poster may still be able to manually download a post to their own PC or phone, after 17 December, and manually upload it to the other site. But if you have lots of posts that will take a long time, it will be better to use the automatic tool before 17 December.

    Please understand that these dates are approximate and may change for technical or other reasons.

    There may be a few rough edges or not so perfect looking site design at first. Everyone is doing their best, the main goal here is to help as many people as possible preserve access to their content, in the short space of time Tumblr has allowed us, and preserve as much as possible of the Tumblr community spirit somewhere new.

    The new site will cater for photo, GIF, text and html posts. It will not offer video and audio posts, due to cost reasons - maybe in future, but for now you will need to preserve video and audio content yourself in some other place.

    If your Tumblr blog has a mixture of original content and reblogs, or all reblogs, all of that can be copied over to the new site. Reblogs will become “your” original content if nobody else posted them yet, otherwise they will be shown as reblogs. The devs are looking at ways to preserve attribution of reblogs back to the original Tumblr poster, if that person also moves to the new site.

    Important: your Likes cannot be copied from Tumblr to the new site. You will have to go find the same posts again on the new site, and like them afresh.

    (Similarly, existing reblog comments, asks, messages and other user interaction on Tumblr cannot be copied to the new site - that’s just too much to do, in the short time available.)

    If you want to preserve any of your existing Liked posts on Tumblr, you will need to either: (1) download the post to your own PC, or: (2A) reblog it now to your own Tumblr blog, and then (2B) use the automatic tool, before 17 December, to move your whole Tumblr blog across to the new site.

    If you have Liked a lot of posts here on Tumblr, the Gridllr.com webapp should be able to help you do steps 1 and 2A quickly, I mean download or reblog.

    (Someone complained to me today about the appearance of Gridllr on a phone. It’s best to use Gridllr on a PC, Mac or Tablet with a large screen.)

    If you have liked a post here on Tumblr and the original poster decides to delete it, or even to delete their entire blog, some time before 17 December then that post will be permanently lost. So if you want to be sure to preserve any of your Liked posts, you should best download or repost as soon as possible.

    Obviously, you will lose access, after 17 December, to all past posts you have liked, if Tumblr has flagged them as NSFW. Again, the steps (1), or (2A) and (2B) covered above will be the only way to hold on to these posts.