The Noise Inside
Last update
2023-01-15 14:31:51

    Millions of Years of Immutable Evolutionary Law:“Cats shall have litters of many offspring at one time. Some will be weak or stricken with disease--they will perish to allow the stronger siblings to escape, and to satiate other predators in order to reduce competition and encourage the existence of more capable adults.”

    Human Beings:

    “This is where I started to learn something very very important from David [Duchovny]. If you watch the show carefully, he plays this very very simply, he doesn’t go overboard, and there’s a moment coming up here where he’s gonna see his sister. And in the script and in our tone meeting we discussed that he holds her and he cries, that he realizes he’s seeing the spirit of his sister and she is in fact dead. And when we shot the scene which is coming up here shortly, David called me and said ‘I’m not gonna do anything,’ and I argued with him, I thought ‘oh, this is the culmination, this is the closure, this is what this whole hour of television is about; this whole journey to find your sister and you finally do,’ and he said, ‘no, I’m just going to keep it simple’. 

    And when we shot this scene, Mulder doesn't cry but the director sitting behind the monitor and
    I had tears rolling down my face and I learned at that point, you know, sometimes you just gotta go with an actor’s instinct, it breaks your heart how simple he just holds her.”

    Manners, DVD commentary for “Closure” 


    positive press? for tumblr???? my gd.......


    we fucked up its getting more profitable


    I've been on Tumblr for well over a decade no idea when I found posts back before 2010


    which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?


    y- you were putting it in cold water?????


    Radish. Answer the question radish.


    yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason


    You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???


    [ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ?????” /End ID]

    why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it


    Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove


    Its takes less than a minute


    Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun


    How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove


    Like seven minutes


    Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…


    Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ???? On medium heat???? Ur stove is enchanted


    Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic


    Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief



    RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

    Of diff'rent flavours gained by simple act

    Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

    MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

    FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

    RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

    Without the guide of others I assumed

    That heat was merely added for the sake

    Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

    Half a decade I have spent, or more,

    Not questioning this worldview I had made.

    In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

    That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

    Might have a patience of sufficient stock

    To wait until a pot of water boils.

    FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

    The microwave will beep when it is done!

    CATS'N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

    Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

    FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

    That I have not the patience, like our Root,

    To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

    CATS'N: It takes less than a minute!

    FROG: On what plate?

    Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

    CATS'N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

    Of boiling but a single cup alone?

    FROG: In minutes?

    CATS'N: Yes!

    FROG: I counted seven, once.

    CATS'N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

    If on a middle heat you place the cup

    You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

    Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

    Or even less, if you should have a pot.

    FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

    You place upon the iron stove a mug?

    A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

    How do these flames, though medium in height,

    Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

    Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

    With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

    (The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

    KING: Ev'ry single person in this group must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.


    who else remembers the entire Doctor Who crew dancing to 500 miles with David Tennant because it’s the purest thing you’ll see today


    Not only did I remember this—although it is INSANELY better than I remembered—every time I listen to the song I have to march at the chorus. I feel like David Tennant would be very happy about this.


    Black cats are lucky. (vialeahweissmuller)


    MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!


    “See him face”

    I sure fucking do see him face


    Reblog him face for good luck in 2021


    Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)


    Reblog him face for good luck in 2022!



    I used to work for a call center and I was doing a political survey and I called this number that was randomly generated for me and the way our system worked was voice-activated so when the other person said hello you’d get connected to them, so I just launch right into my “Harvard University and NPR blah blah blah” thing and then there’s this long pause and I think the person’s hung up even though I didn’t hear a click

    And then I hear “you shouldn’t be able to call this number.”

    So I apologize and go into the preset spiel about because we aren’t selling anything, etc. etc. and the answer I get is

    “No, I know that. What I mean is that it should be impossible for you to call this number, and I need to know how you got it.”

    I explain that it’s randomly generated and I’m very sorry for bothering him, and go to hang up. And before I can click terminate, I hear:

    “Ma’am, this is a matter of national security.”

    I accidentally called the director of the FBI.

    My job got investigated because a computer randomly spit out a number to the Pentagon.


    This is my new favourite story.


    When I was in college I got a job working for a company that manages major air-travel data. It was a temp gig working their out of date system while they moved over to a new one, since my knowing MS Dos apparently made me qualified.

    There was no MS Dos involved. Instead, there was a proprietary type-based OS and an actually-uses-transistors refrigerator-sized computer with switches I had to trip at certain times during the night as I watched the data flow from six pm to six AM on Fridays and weekends. If things got stuck, I reset the server. 

    The company handled everything from low-end data (hotel and car reservations) to flight plans and tower information. I was weighed every time I came in to make sure it was me. Areas of the building had retina scanners on doors. 

    During training. they took us through all the procedures. Including the procedures for the red phone. There was, literally, a red phone on the shelf above my desk. “This is a holdover from the cold war.” They said. “It isn’t going to come up, but here’s the deal. In case of nuclear war or other nation-wide disaster, the phone will ring. Pick up the phone, state your name and station, and await instructions. Do whatever you are told.”

    So my third night there, it’s around 2am and there’s a ringing sound. 

    I look up, slowly. The Red phone is ringing.

    So I reach out, I pick up the phone. I give my name and station number. And I hear every station head in the building do the exact same. One after another, voices giving names and numbers. Then silence for the space of two breaths. Silence broken by…

    “Uh… Is Shantavia there?”

    It turns out that every toll free, 1-900 or priority number has a corresponding local number that it routs to at its actual destination. Some poor teenage girl was trying to dial a friend of hers, mixed up the numbers, and got the atomic attack alert line for a major air-travel corporation’s command center in the mid-west United States.

    There’s another pause, and the guys over in the main data room are cracking up. The overnight site head is saying “I think you have the wrong number, ma’am.” and I’m standing there having faced the specter of nuclear annihilation before I was old enough to legally drink.

    The red phone never rang again while I was there, so the people doing my training were only slightly wrong in their estimation of how often the doomsday phone would ring. 


    Every time I try to find this story, I end up having to search google with a variety of terms that I’m sure have gotten me flagged by some watchlist, so I’m reblogging it again where I swear I’ve reblogged it before.


    But none of these stories even come close to the best one of them all; a wrong number is how the NORAD Santa Tracker got started.

    Seriously, this is legit.

    In December 1955, Sears decided to run a Santa hotline.  Here’s the ad they posted.

    Only problem is, they misprinted the number.  And the number they printed?  It went straight through to fucking NORAD.  This was in the middle of the Cold War, when early warning radar was the only thing keeping nuclear annihilation at bay.  NORAD was the front line.

    And it wasn’t just any number at NORAD.  Oh no no no.

    Terri remembers her dad had two phones on his desk, including a red one. “Only a four-star general at the Pentagon and my dad had the number,” she says.

    “This was the ‘50s, this was the Cold War, and he would have been the first one to know if there was an attack on the United States,” Rick says.

    The red phone rang one day in December 1955, and Shoup answered it, Pam says. “And then there was a small voice that just asked, ‘Is this Santa Claus?’ ”

    His children remember Shoup as straight-laced and disciplined, and he was annoyed and upset by the call and thought it was a joke — but then, Terri says, the little voice started crying.

    “And Dad realized that it wasn’t a joke,” her sister says. “So he talked to him, ho-ho-ho’d and asked if he had been a good boy and, ‘May I talk to your mother?’ And the mother got on and said, ‘You haven’t seen the paper yet? There’s a phone number to call Santa. It’s in the Sears ad.’ Dad looked it up, and there it was, his red phone number. And they had children calling one after another, so he put a couple of airmen on the phones to act like Santa Claus.”

    “It got to be a big joke at the command center. You know, ‘The old man’s really flipped his lid this time. We’re answering Santa calls,’ ” Terri says.

    And then, it got better.

    “The airmen had this big glass board with the United States on it and Canada, and when airplanes would come in they would track them,” Pam says.

    “And Christmas Eve of 1955, when Dad walked in, there was a drawing of a sleigh with eight reindeer coming over the North Pole,” Rick says.

    “Dad said, ‘What is that?’ They say, ‘Colonel, we’re sorry. We were just making a joke. Do you want us to take that down?’ Dad looked at it for a while, and next thing you know, Dad had called the radio station and had said, ‘This is the commander at the Combat Alert Center, and we have an unidentified flying object. Why, it looks like a sleigh.’ Well, the radio stations would call him like every hour and say, ‘Where’s Santa now?’ ” Terri says.

    For real.

    “And later in life he got letters from all over the world, people saying, ‘Thank you, Colonel,’ for having, you know, this sense of humor. And in his 90s, he would carry those letters around with him in a briefcase that had a lock on it like it was top-secret information,” she says. “You know, he was an important guy, but this is the thing he’s known for.”

    “Yeah,” Rick [his son] says, “it’s probably the thing he was proudest of, too.”

    So yeah.  I think that might be the best wrong number of all time.

    Source:  http://www.npr.org/2014/12/19/371647099/norads-santa-tracker-began-with-a-typo-and-a-good-sport


    No okay THAT is adorable and I’m queueing this for next December.


    Black cats are lucky. (vialeahweissmuller)


    MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!


    “See him face”

    I sure fucking do see him face


    Reblog him face for good luck in 2021


    Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)


    The kitty is so goob that no ones noticed the awesome panda socks.


    “I’ve searched my conscience, and I can’t for the life of me find any justification for this, and I simply cannot accept that there are on every story two equal and logical sides to an argument”


    I… have to admit i was kind of gobsmacked to realize that’s the borat guy, but his point is eloquent and good so keep kicking ass, dude.


    Despite being known best for his comedy characters, Sacha Baron Cohen is a graduate of Cambridge University, where he earned a history degree after writing his undergraduate thesis on the American civil rights movement. His mother’s family were German Jews and his father’s family were Ashkenazi Jews; he is also the grandson of a Holocaust survivor. He understands this issue all too well.