Jackie || 20 || bisexual || I hope you all will have good lives and achieve your dreams || You all deserve the best, always

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Last update
2020-07-13 01:40:14

    Honestly if MILF Charlize Theron is not enough for y’all to watch the old guard maybe I should point some things out.

    -Immortal gays

    -gays in an interracial marriage full of proclaimations of undying love

    -Gays who Don’t die in the end

    -Queer Female lead with zero sexualization

    -Black Female Director

    -Yeah the plot is a little cliche but look at the d i v e r s i t y and positive r e p r e s e n t a t i o n

    So, I've just finished watching the Old Guard for the second time in as many days, and just thst scene in the armored truck with Nicky and Joe and the guards. And obviously, Joe's speech was phenomenal and breathtaking, but what's sticking with me for the moment is the guards reaction.

    Because, like, they've been trying to keep their prisoners more or less separated and suddenly one of them just suddenly comes out with this super dramatic love declaration and then they just start making out.

    And there's just this moment where all the guards are completely frozen and looking at each other like:

    What the fuck? Are they allowed to do that? Are we letting them do that? Okay, no, we've gotta put a stop to this,

    And then just collectively and at exactly the same time reach to pull them apart. And that's just really, really funny to me.


    hilary listen the old guards slayed me. I mean the plot the pacing the writing the acting?? the diversity that didn’t feel like lip service? tHAT ENDING??? Charlize Theron also knocked it out off the park. like the bone weary fatigue that comes with seeing too much and for too long could’ve been played as that snarky cynical and jaded god. but she dIDNT. and it was such an impactful and nuanced performance. Agh I’m running out of characters gdi moving over to another ask (1/2)

    ALSO BOOKER. I fucking love when they make a characters actions reasonable. like the man is clearly depressed. he’s tired and he wants some sort of agency back in the face of devastating loss over and over again. like waiting for your friends to heal themselves each time they die?? my god that amount of stress has to get to you at some point. which also lends to this self-awareness and surety among all of the characters (especially Nicky omg Nicky you beautiful cinnamon roll). GDI no space (2/3

    RIGHT. Nicky! what a compassionate but ruthlessly efficient solider (also that part near the end where he puts the gun over his shoulder for joe to take was kinda hot ngl). the juxtaposition is so interesting and compelling and we see it throughout the movie with all of the characters too. even their relationship as a team. it’s odd because they’re really professional with each other but still choose to be a family from the get go. it’s even more profound when you think about it (NO SPACE Y) 3/4 

    because that’s the one thing they truly have a choice over. they’re going to see these 4 people for the rest of their long longgg lives and they can very easily say no. I’ll find others and lose them but I refuse to be forced to get stuck with you instead of someone else. they don’t though and such props to the writer who didn’t go down that traditional path of conflict. aggghh I could on about how andy didn’t die either but I’m running out of space Again and have spammed you enough lolollll 


    It was as if ye olde Netflix Powers Thatte Be said “look we know 2020 has been a flaming hellpit dumpster of Why God Why, so we’re gonna give the gays everything they want”

    There was world-weary ancient Greek warrior short-haired lesbian Charlize Theron (that scene with the hot French pharmacy lady tenderly patching up her shoulder in the bathroom and the obvious sexual tension was SO UNNECESSARY BUT ALSO COMPLETELY NECESSARY GOD BLESS THE FILMMAKERS!) She has lost her equally hot and badass wife and there was Angst and Feelings and now we have Drama with said wife returning from the sea floor and I don’t know what’s gonna happen but my body is ready and I need the sequel immediately.

    There were Joe and Nicky, the most beautiful devoted interracial/interreligious mlm immortal husbands who are still completely gaga for each other after hundreds of years, there are absolutely no gay “jokes” or even any calling attention to their status, they whup ass and they make out in front of stormtroopers because why not get you a man who can do both. We have already discussed the fact that I am Deep down the rabbit hole for them.

    There was Nile (NILE! I WOULD DIE FOR YOU!) the most PRECIOUS immortal bean, who is a Black woman who literally cannot be shot down, who takes the hits from the military (DON’T THINK I DID NOT NOTICE THAT THE US ARMY WAS ALSO GOING TO PUT HER IN A CAGE/INSTITUTION ONCE THEY FOUND OUT ABOUT HER) and from the white supremacist violence but GETS BACK UP EVERY TIME BECAUSE THEY CANNOT STOP HER WITH THEIR USUAL MINDLESS STATE SPONSORED MACHINE GUNS. She gets to rescue the whole team like a BADASS and go into the lab with the action-hero angles almost ALWAYS received by the Hard Bitten White Man, she gets to tackle the main villain off the top of a goddamn skyscraper and walk away from it while he’s dead, she is nonetheless Sweet and Vulnerable and in need of Protection so she gets to be BOTH the damsel in distress and the hero and I just... I have a lot of feelings about Nile okay.

    Even the Hard Bitten White Man we did get, i.e. Booker, is the guy who makes painful choices and is driven by the pain of having to watch his children die and yet also still displays emotions and cares for his other family and awfully regrets what he did to hurt them (and when he realizes Andy’s not healing he PANICS) and now he’s met Quynh and oh the dramaaaa.

    I VERY MUCH NOTICED THE CIA AND BIG PHARMA/AN INSUFFERABLE KNOW IT ALL RICH BRITISH WHITE MAN BEING THE VILLAINS UNDER CLAIMING TO DO “GOOD.” THANK YOU. (And good on you Chiwetel Ejiofor, I knew you wouldn’t let Dudley Dursley actually get away with it)


    THE FOUND FAMILY OF IT ALL. As you note, they completely avoided the “oh no they all hate each other and snipe over petty things and try to kill each other” and went “nope they are a family and they watch football together in their loud church in France where they like to live and all sleep in the same bedroom” LIKE UP YOURS MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE oops

    And Andy DIDN’T die and is gonna see her wife again and now has to reckon with that and has to figure out how to fight when she’s no longer completely invulnerable and has to mentor Nile and figure out how to be part of the team in a different way and and and


    /breathes deeply

    Anyway I liked it a normal amount.

    How am I supposed to watch another action film after The Old Guard?? What film will be able to compete with immortal husbands? The tenderness of them always finding each other? Looking for the other as soon as they wake up??? The found family dynamic of 5 people who refuse to leave each other?? Who always find their way back to each other regardless of the century? Who bring each other gifts when they reunite? I’m sorry nothing can compete

    you know what blew my mind? the realization that i in fact don’t have anything against action genre - after watching some specific new movies i can say that it’s the rampant sexualization and objectification on top of everybody alive being straight and the fact that it was a realization is kinda sad

    give me an interracial gay couple that talk sweetly to each other in multiple languages, who cuddle in one bed over night and i will happily watch them murder through an army of bad guys *heart eyes*

    I’m kind of nervous about the return of Quynh because I really don’t want it to be like Andy and the gang on one side and then Booker and Quynh as like an evil revenge duo because that was just not the energy I got from this family and i just want immortal wives reunion 

    So I either want movie 2 to be Booker and Quynh trying to track Andy and the gang down, but struggling because they’ve now got big brother erasing them from everywhere


    2 hours of Nile teaching Quynh how to use an iphone 

    The Old Guard is the best action movie because there’s no other.

    I talked with a friend of mine about it, and he said that he had seen better. That The Old Guard is good movie, but not the best. My reply: which one?

    Because you cannot compare apples with bananas, just because they’re both fruit.

  • There’s no other movie out there that was directed by a black woman. Hell, there are like five black female directors in the film industry that got the big budget.
  • There aren’t many action movies with a female lead, and a queer one, is practically unheard of.
  • Before The Old Guard there was queerbating by Disney/Marvel/take your pick, but an apologetic established same-sex couple that declares their love, kiss on screen and don’t die? Never ever.
  • And yes, it doesn’t sexualize women.
  • It actually hired a cast that from the countries and not some US/UK cast barely faking it (or worse, getting praised for it? Like WTF, it’s not like there are natives in the industry. You stole someone’s job, and you get the awards? So sick. Also, bad signal for rep and for language teachers etc.)
  • The only kiss was between an interracial couple of two male lovers who also have different religious beliefs.
  • So the plot isn’t the best? The editing needs work. Hell, is the first.

    The white straight middle aged men have a million and more movies under their belt. And really, are they the Best of Storytelling?

    the old guard is actually just a coming of age film about of a young sapphic woman finding solidarity and belonging and understanding from her gay elders in a found family consisting of an ancient bisexual woman with a tragic past and not-quite-dead lesbian lover, an old gay married couple who have been together for close to a milennia, and their straight ally kind-of-little brother. in this essay i will