@coldwind-shiningstars
the mushroom is the elf of plants

Novy, they/them or it/its, small and confused |Avatar ID: a pale white person with curly reddish hair and a red hat. Drawn by Lore @codenamexy! Header is a disabled parking place plaquard that was vandalized to read "king of disabled badgers only." | Voted most likely to be good at organ harvesting| Possibly a star person, possibly a vole, most definitely a cryptid | @litbynosun on AO3 | Hire Me to Do Science! I'm Queer And Disabled! | On my twentieth birthday I was told that sometimes talking to me is like reading Homestuck and I'll probably never get over it.

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2020-09-27 04:55:56

    sometimes I'm like "ooh im In Pain right now" and then I pay attention to the position my body is in and it's This:

    [ID: me on my bed. I'm slumped pretty far down, one leg pointing straight forward and one up and to the side, resting on the wall.]

    No WONDER my back hurts

    [ID: the same position from a different angle: my face, torso, and one leg up by my head.]

    It does help my hips feel better tho

    a late-ish night head canon:

    After the true ending, Venus experiments a lot with her physical form. Neptune and Jupiter settle on a general shape fairly quickly.

    Neptune’s problem with her body, parallel to Venus, was partially how it was perceived, but unlike Venus, once that judgment about who she is based on what she looks like (something she didn’t even get to chose) isn’t there, she just doesn’t care that much. She’s a person, and a lake, and both at once, and while she cares for aesthetics, it’s generally in the form of fiddling with the water plants than anything drastic. Jupiter’s problem was always between the boundaries between her body and others, touching and being touched, and the form wasn’t as much of a problem. Once she has adequate hands, and a reason to touch people, she’s good.

    But Venus’ problem was always much more centered in her body qua bodies. And once she gets complete freedom over it– she has so much choice, so many options. And she wants so many different things, many of them mutually exclusive, that she just doesn’t stick to one thing for quite awhile. There are recurring themes, certainly– light, yellow and white, eyes and so so much hair, as much hair as you could ever want. But she swaps between between being angelic but humanoid, cyclopean eyes that cover the whole forest, ditching the whole ‘physicality’ thing and just being rays of light.

    She settles on a few favourites, after awhile. Emphasis on favourites. There was a point she was convinced she’d have to pick one form and stick with it, and she worried over the decision, before realizing that she didn’t need to? Her body could be whatever she wanted it to be, and that could be more than one thing. She could be as human or inhuman as she wanted, as perceivable or imperceivable, and she didn’t have to stick with one forever and ever.

    And that’s quite nice.

    the scene where wwx is punished for fighting with jzx at cloud recesses and lwj checks on him because he thinks he’s crying cracks me up. lwj is visibly fantasizing about a tender h/c scene where he gently scolds the handsome troublemaker for being so impulsive and reckless, maybe hints at his soft side by comforting him a little, and hey what if wei ying is hiding some minor injury or something that he could tend? does lwj know anything about tending injuries? he’s not sure, but he thinks he could wing it, right

    and then wwx goes and josses that mental fanfiction by not seeming sad or injured AT ALL. lwj had a whole plan here and wwx had to ruin it and that’s what he stomps off in a huff about

    anonymous

    For the AU meme - modern musicians AU, mdzs

    1. LWJ plays piano, guqin, and se and he is excellent at all of them! But mostly he's a concert pianist. Lan Xichen plays the oboe. Their "party trick" as teens was playing Gabriel's Oboe as a duet and making everyone in the room cry.

    2. Wei Wuxian plays the flute like 2cellos and apocalyptica play the cello. He plays HEAVY METAL flute music. He's in a band with the Wens. Eventually they both kind of meet in the middle? They start playing weird experimental (but gentle on the ears) stuff like Zoe Keating style.

    3. Wei Wuxian originally played violin. So did Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian was always concerntmaster while Jiang Cheng was usually second or third chair. WWX dumped violin for flute and presented it as "haha I'm just flighty and can't stick with an instrument!" but really he misses it a lot.

    4. They met as Orchestra Kids, mostly because Xichen was just old enough to be in a similar woodwinds cohort as Wei Wuxian. I don't know if China has all-state orchestra like activities but wwx definitely broke all the rules at the hotel and lwj reported him to the chaperones. Also he had an inappropriate sticker on his flute hard case and LWJ was incensed by this.

    5. Lan Xichen ends up forming a kind of pop band with Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao, which means WWX has like 900 stan accounts for his brother in law blocked on Twitter.

    anonymous

    Uh, uh, No Death AU.. Untamed! Wei Wuxian can have a little death as a treat if you want.

    (I got clarification -- this is "nobody important dies except WWX")

    1. Honestly I think Jin Zixuan not dying... saves everyone else? Him not dying means Yanli doesn't die, Wen Ning and Wen Qing don't turn themselves in because Zixuan can testify they weren't at fault, and Nie Mingjue doesn't die because Yanli knows the signs of Being Murderous, spends more time with Jin Guangyao, and... maybe inadvertently convinces him that Zixuan would be a great next clan leader and that timetable should be bumped up a bit, so Jin Guangshan dies but Nie Mingjue doesn't.

    2. I don't want Mo Xuanyu to die either! But then... how does WWX come back? Hrm. Maybe.... WWX dies instead of Jin Zixuan at Qiongqi Pass. The Wens bring him back to the Burial Mounds and find out that his body is so saturated with resentful energy that it just Does Not Decay. They don't have enough wood to cremate him so his body just kind of... exists? It's creepy as Hell.

    3. This is extremely distressing to the Jiangs. Jiang Yanli cries about this nightly to Jin Zixuan. Jin Zixuan tells Jin Guangyao about how unhappy his wife is and says "can you do anything to help?" Jin Guangyao is still doing Dubious Stuff with Xue Yang and complains to him about this. Xue Yang says "well I can bring him back!"

    4. This is because Xue Yang is horny for the Yiling Patriarch. I want to make this clear. He could not care less that his kinda evil boss's sister in law is sad. He DOES want to bang the Yiling Patriarch tho.

    5. There is a Heist and they steal wwx's body and Xue Yang brings him back as a sentient fierce corpse. JGY pushes all the blame onto XY, so XY has to Escape to Yi City (without getting laid :() but he's More Stable now, so while he still lies to Xingchen he doesn't do any murders while there.

    anonymous

    for the AU meme, I must ofc ask for TGCF without the fate-swap *chinhands*

    (five things about an au)

    1. Okay, so He Xuan is much more stable in this AU! Still pretty quiet but much more certain of their (his? How much of He Xuan's Gender Issues are being dead?) personality. They're a civil god, DEFINITELY have a cool hat, not exactly friends with Ling Wen but they make faces at each other in meetings when the martial gods are being particularly... Martial God. They're also friends with alive and un-indentity-thefted Ming Yi!

    2. SQX was a Middle Heaven official for a while but did end up losing that position and dying due to the Reverend. She doesn't have enough resentment and drive to become a full Supreme, but she IS righteously angry enough to become a Wrath. She kills the Reverend, causes a few tornadoes, and is generally... mischevious but benevolent? A wind-spirit-y ghost, naturally.

    3. In this AU Shi Wudu's big Secret is that a) he HATES He Xuan, because he did actually want to pull a fate swap but just didn't have time, and b) he covers up a lot of SQX's activities. Again it's not nescessarily that she's doing anything terrible? It's just that he can't stand to not Hover.

    4. He Xuan is still good at acting. They do actually infiltrate ghost city in this AU. They only have one or two clones, though, not a whole army.

    5. He Xuan and Ming Yi (real version) are good friends with the Windmaster (whoever that might be.) SQX tags along for reasons of it's more fun to play windy tricks on people who can play windy tricks on you back.

    Edit: also I think things would be more difficult for Xie Lian without a godly friend helping him! hrm... lots to think about.

    anonymous

    for the AU meme - talk to me about that machineries of empire AU 👀

    (send me an au and I'll tell you five fun facts about what happens in the story!)

    1. Wen Ning is Wei Wuxian's first anchor! In this AU they turned themselves in after an Accidental Murder, which was seen as evidence that wwx was too unstable and too dangerous to ever be given another anchor. So the Jins just... keep him in the black cradle indefinitely. Wen Ning's struggles to define himself outside of WWX's influence are still present but they take on a VERY different flavor -- he had a lot less bleed through than MXY did, but he still doesn't know what to do with himself when he doesn't have a voice in his head with him all the time.

    2. MXY is kicked out of the Jins for similar reasons to mdzs canon. NHS helps him sneak back in, access the Black Cradle, and attach WWX's revenant to himself. So he's still using WWX to accomplish his revenge, he's just much more an Active Partner.

    3. MXY has not mastered using subvocals to talk to WWX, so he's just holding a conversation with apparently thin air, since nobody actually Knows he's WWX's new anchor. This is what seems to support the theory that he's "insane." (I mean, he's definitely not mentally healthy... but that word has all sorts of Connotations.) WWX says, just roll with it! It's helpful so that people don't know I'm here :D

    4. There's a lot of bleedthrough and they bleed through fast. MXY has WWX's body language by the end of the week. WWX kind of hums/sings/gets Wangxian/Wuji stuck in his head often, which means MXY picks that habit up, which is how LWJ realizes that WWX is out of the Black Cradle.

    5. LWJ is very high up in the Kel -- most Lans are Kel -- but he's actually a crashhawk. He follows formations not because he has formation instinct but because it is What Is Done. He doesn't nescessarily have unusually high mathematical abilities but his music skills and pattern recognition mean he's definitely very good at manipulating the calendar.

    spookybuttons

    thinking about how novartis is running a lottery where the prize is literally the life of babies and apparently this went unnoticed

    spookybuttons

    Spinal Muscular Atrophy is a degenartive disease that affects between 4-10 children in every 100k live births. For those of you unfamiliar with epidemiology, this number might not have a lot of meaning, so suffice to say it is a rare disease, but among the rare diseases, it’s a common one. When it comes down to diseases which only affect one gene, SMA is the most common cause of infant death. 

    I won’t go too deep on how and why it happens, or all the diffferent subtypes of the disease, but what it entails is that for the severe presentation, because the baby is lacking one gene, they’ll gradually lose the strenght in their muscles. By the age of 4, most those children are dead. 

    It’s not an easy death. The child loses the capacity to breathe and swallow by themselves because of muscle weakness. We provide support as best as we can, but there’s not a lot we can do about something like that. And though muscle strenght is lost, cognition is unaffected, which means the baby brain is maturing as it would regularly, inside a weakening body. 

    So, it’s horrific. But because it’s a single gene causing the mess, and because science has advanced this far, scientists went “hey what if we could give the kid this gene?” 

    And that’s exactly what they did. Enter Novartis, pharma giant. They decided to try it out: put the gene inside an empty virus, give the virus to the kid. Did it work?

    to those of you who don’t speak medical: yes. yes it did. it worked really well. it worked well to a point where they ran tests with 15 kids and all 15 kids survived without need for respiratory aid, as opposed to the usual 92% death/permanent ventilation rate. 

    “Wow, this is good,” said Novartis. “I’m going to put a 2.1 million dollars tag on it.”

    “What the fuck?” said the parents, who are regular people who do not have 2.1m sitting on their banks.

    “Well, you know,” said Novartis. “You only have to take it once in a lifetime! Seems like a fair price to me. Uh, but also, do bear in mind it only works if you give it to the baby before they turn 2 years old.” 

    but does it end there? no! although the drug was FDA approved, Novartis needs their prized treatment to get cleared on the rest of the world. people are complaining about the price tag, too. so they have an idea. a brilliant idea! 

    “We’ll get the contacts of the kids who have it around the world,” said Novartis. “And then we’ll run a lottery! Because we are generous, we’ll give away a hundred doses a year for the entire population of planet Earth! Of course, that means your country has to agree my drug is legit.” 

    “What if I don’t get picked,” wonder the parents of the children.

    “Well, you know. You can always just raise 2.1 million dollars, but remember you have to do it before your kid turns two.”

    so now i sit here seething in hatred toward big pharma, watching mothers desperately trying to raise an absurd amount of money which is even more absurd if your coin is weaker than the dollar, saddled with the weight that if they don’t do it in time, they’ll have to watch their kids die

    and then every once in a while one of them manages to raise the cash, and then they’ll post videos in their social media and i get to watch as the babies gradually regain strenght and starts sitting on their own, then moving their limbs, then standing up by themselves

    while the other mothers share increasingly desperate videos of their kids who can no longer sit, and no longer swallow, and no longer breathe, until it all ends with a single text shared through instagram that just says “thank you all, but my child has passed, and we’ll give what we managed to raise to the next one.” 

    meanwhile novartis pats themselves on the back for their generosity of playing roulette with the lives of babies

    teacupdream

    … i just confirmed this. I am floored. There is no humanity in these people. It’s called Zolgensma.

    left-reminders

    Socialize Healthcare Now

    coldwind-shiningstars

    when your home medical supplies company goes out of business so you switch providers and they tell you they're going to change an aspect of your Treatment because "we're trying to get everyone to use this" and you don't know if your instinctive NO! NO! reaction is because you're convinced all change is terrible or if it will actually be worse for you personally

    coldwind-shiningstars

    there's a part in the Disability Visibility podcast's cyborg episode where one of the guests says "recently my foot changed, because some guy decided that it needed to be redesigned. I didn't want it!" and I think about that all the time. it frightens me, actually

    when your home medical supplies company goes out of business so you switch providers and they tell you they're going to change an aspect of your Treatment because "we're trying to get everyone to use this" and you don't know if your instinctive NO! NO! reaction is because you're convinced all change is terrible or if it will actually be worse for you personally