*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life

    *gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child

    *heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is

    *a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone

    *taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing

    *gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents

    So my mother calls me

    Mom: I'm out shopping, is there anything you want for your birthday?

    Me: Sherlock season 3

    Mom: Okay I'll see what I can do

    Me: ...

    Me: Okay thanks.

    Me: *hangs up*

    Mom: *calls me back*

    Me: Yes?

    Mom: So I was just at HMV...

    Mom: And I asked the girl at the register if they sold season 3 of Sherlock...

    Mom: And she broke down and started crying on the counter...

    Mom: Care to explain?

    My Kids' Future

    Kid: Can you tell me what was it like for you growing up?

    Me: I had a good life. I had parents, I had friends, I had fun, but everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

    Kid: Um, fire nation-

    Me: -And then I took that bloody arrow to the knee-

    Kid: But that doesn't-

    Me: -And then Voldemort came out of Mordor and killed my parents-

    Kid: Okay, now I know that's Harr-

    Me: And my brother Dean went to hell after selling his soul for me-

    Kid: That's the plot to Sup-

    Me: And the Doctor was supposed to come save us all but he had to save Sherlock from falling off that building so Watson wouldn't be distraught forever and they could return to Narnia but they all failed and now we're all doomed and the world's going to end with Loki as king on a throne that says "EHEHEHEHEHEHE" every time he moves.

    Kid:

    Me:

    Kid:

    Me:

    Kid:

    Me:

    Kid: You do realize-

    Me: Go do your homework. Winter is coming.

    Important Dates Masterlist

    September 1, 2012: Doctor Who Season 7 Premiere

    September 6, 2012: Fashion's Night Out, Video Music Awards

    September 17, 2012: Bones season premiere

    September 21, 2012: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

    September 24, 2012: How I Met Your Mother season premiere

    September 27, 2012: The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling

    October 2, 2012: The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan

    October 3, 2012: Supernatural season premiere

    November 16, 2012: Breaking Dawn Part 2

    November 18, 2012: American Music Awards

    January 13, 2013: Golden Globe Awards

    February 10, 2013: Grammy Awards

    February 12, 2013: The Indigo Spell by Richelle Mead

    February 24, 2013: Academy Awards

    March 19, 2013: Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare

    March 29, 2013: The Host

    March 30, 2013: Kids Choice Awards

    May 3, 2013: Iron Man 3

    May 17, 2013: Star Trek 2

    June 14, 2013: Man of Steel

    August 16, 2013: Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

    August 23, 2013: The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

    November 8, 2013: Thor: The Dark World

    November 22, 2013: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

    April 4, 2014: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

    May 2, 2014: The Amazing Spider-Man 2

    May 23, 2014: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

    July 18, 2014: X-Men: Days of Future Fast

    August 1, 2014: Guardians of the Galaxy

    November 21, 2014: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

    May 1, 2015: The Avengers 2

    November 20, 2015: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

    Forever reblog so that all of us nerds know!

    tumblr language

    I really don't like you: lol u peasant

    This is making me really upset: i am cry

    I don't understand this: why doe

    They make such a cute couple ~: OTPPPPPPP

    Wow, you really did not deserve that: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUU!!!! COULSONNNN!! COULSOOOOON NOOOOOOOOO!!! GOD.. YOU WERE THE GREATEST MAN I EVER KNEW. YOU WILL BE AVENGED. YOU WILL BE AVENGED!!

    I find you attractive: CAN I TOUCH UR BUTT