*1985, Black-Potter residence*

Harry: Uncle Sirius, uncle Remus, can I tell you a secret?

Sirius: Oh, what is it, Harry?

Harry: Daddy almost killed papa last night

Remus: Harry…what?

Harry: I woke up, and papa was screaming. He was calling for Merlin!

Sirius: …Merlin?

Remus: Like “Oh, Merlin”, sweetheart?

Harry: Yes! And I go into their room to save papa! And daddy’s hands were on papa’s neck, and papa couldn’t breathe!

Harry: I told daddy to stop it! And both daddy and papa screamed when they saw me. And they told me not to tell anyone

Remus: Wow, they…huh, they really did that

Harry: What does that mean, uncle Moony?

Remus: Oh, well, okay…it’s…your papa and daddy were…your daddy wasn’t killing your papa, okay?

Harry: What were they doing?

Remus: …That’s…that’s a very nice question, Harry. Maybe uncle Pads might—where’s your uncle Pads?

James, running in the yard as Sirius chases him: SIRIUS! I’M SORRY! I SAID I’M SORRY!