trying to make friends who are obsessed with the same ships as you

Ron: Hey remember when I used to nap on your lap and you dropped a whole remote on my face one time?

Blaise: You want cake, don’t you?

Ron: That’s appalling. Why would you think that I only remind you of that because I want food?

Blaise: And chocolate

Ron: I would never do anything like that-

Blaise: And sweets

Ron: I can’t believe you have the audacity-

Blaise: I’ll cook you a 3 course meal

Ron: …

Ron: Well, since you insist so strongly…okay!

Ron: And snacks please!!

Blaise: …

Blaise: Of course

Harry: That’s some cake Draco got there

Ron: Draco isn’t holding any cake

Harry: Oh I know that

Ron: …

*1985, Black-Potter residence*

Harry: Uncle Sirius, uncle Remus, can I tell you a secret?

Sirius: Oh, what is it, Harry?

Harry: Daddy almost killed papa last night

Remus: Harry…what?

Harry: I woke up, and papa was screaming. He was calling for Merlin!

Sirius: …Merlin?

Remus: Like “Oh, Merlin”, sweetheart?

Harry: Yes! And I go into their room to save papa! And daddy’s hands were on papa’s neck, and papa couldn’t breathe!

Harry: I told daddy to stop it! And both daddy and papa screamed when they saw me. And they told me not to tell anyone

Remus: Wow, they…huh, they really did that

Harry: What does that mean, uncle Moony?

Remus: Oh, well, okay…it’s…your papa and daddy were…your daddy wasn’t killing your papa, okay?

Harry: What were they doing?

Remus: …That’s…that’s a very nice question, Harry. Maybe uncle Pads might—where’s your uncle Pads?

James, running in the yard as Sirius chases him: SIRIUS! I’M SORRY! I SAID I’M SORRY!

Draco: Ugh, I can’t stand Potter

Pansy: Then kneel

Draco: I wish

Pansy: …

Draco: I—I mean you wish! Shut up Pansy

omw to write a story consisting solely of my favorite tropes and characters i think are cool

fanficmemes

Hey I went to Finishing Your Wips island. Yeah nobody knew you there :/

fanficmemes

I know this is a joke but that’s such a good point!!! Some stories really are just to get the wiggles out

The reason none of my wips get finished

it’s me i am girls

Do you sometimes read a fic writer’s work, and just… thank all the gods this person managed to get obsessed with the same fictional people you did?

Pansy after she walked in on Harry and Draco “duelling” with each other and not actually duelling with each other

Sirius: Why? Why, Reg?

Regulus, sighs: Why am I sleeping with James?

Sirius: Is it a pity thing? Do you pity my best friend?

Regulus: …

Sirius: Is he sick? Is Prongs dying?

Regulus: …

Sirius: Are you working for the dark side?

Regulus: …

Sirius: Damn it, he's holding you against your will, isn't he?

Regulus: Sirius-

Sirius: If he is holding you against your will, blink twice

Regulus: …

Sirius, blows at Regulus’s eyes: Blink twice, Reggie

Regulus: Really, Sirius?

Sirius: Is this revenge? When I pushed you into the lake when we were kids?

Sirius: You have a thing for glasses?

Regulus: I’m leaving the room, Sirius

Sirius: Is it huge?

Regulus: Sirius! Really?

Sirius: I'm sorry. Let me rephrase that

Sirius: Is it huge?

Harry, drunk: You’re the hottest boyfriend I’ve ever had, Draco

Draco: I’m your husband, Harry

Harry, gasp: Oh my god that’s awesome!

*Triwizard Tournament, 1994*

Draco: I’d really like it if the badges are green, because Potter stinks and I hate him

Pansy: Why can’t it be red?

Draco: Because I want it to be green

Pansy: Okay, gay

Draco: …okay, so it’s gonna be green and says “Potter stinks”

Blaise: Why can’t it say “Potter sucks”?

Draco: It’s not—no, it doesn’t make sense that way

Theodore: I think it makes sense. Maybe we can add a bit of—

Draco: Alright you know what? Get out. All of you, I’m doing this myself. Everything, I’m going to do it. Don’t touch anything!

Blaise, Pansy, Theodore: …

Pansy: Yeah sounds good

Blaise: Let’s go

Draco: Wait! You’re all leaving?

Theodore: You told us to leave

Draco: Yeah…but I kinda need help

Pansy: We might paint it yellow

Draco: …

Draco: Yeah see you tomorrow

BEFORE WRITING: Oh, this fic idea is so cute, and it won't take any time at all!
WHILE WRITING: Oh...oh, no...I Underestimated this. Again.

elytrians

you people will see a character in desperate need of therapy and go "i'm going to give them more horrors"

elytrians

and so will i. feed that blorbo 500mg of the worst time of their already miserable life NOW.

im so small and tired 

wind-on-the-panes

I love fanfic writers. Never change.

charlesoberonn

This is a similar yet also opposite vibe to the fanfic writer who apologized for being late because she was getting married.